Honey on Your Mind (20 page)

“Wow!” McKenna said. “That’s huge!”

“For real? You’re going to give up your apartment?” I said.

Andie shrugged. “I know, I know. It’s a total leap of faith, which is unlike me, but it just
feels
right, you know what I mean?”

McKenna, who had been with Hunter since before we could legally rent a car, smiled. “I know
exactly
what you mean. I’m so happy for you.”

I sifted through a rack of dresses. “I can’t believe it. I never thought I’d see the day.”

“Me neither,” Andie said. “After so many years of being emotional Teflon, I didn’t think I’d ever find someone who would actually
stick
.”

McKenna rolled her eyes. “Please, you’re hardly emotional Teflon. You’re just…picky. That’s not a bad thing.”

Andie held up a hand. “You don’t have to sugarcoat it. I know I’m a handful. But, despite my…for lack of a better word,
bitchiness,
Nick makes me feel so, I don’t know,
accepted,
no matter how mean I am
.
I’m not sure what the right word is. But whatever it is, he does it.”

I walked over and hugged her. “You’re going to make me cry. And I agree with Mackie. You’re not emotional Teflon, and you’re not mean. You’re spunky and dynamic and interesting and
wonderful
, and I hope you know how lucky he is to have you.”

She hugged me back for a moment, and then pushed me away. “OK, enough about my stunted emotional development. So what about
you
? What’s going on with Jake? We haven’t talked about that yet either.”

I smiled. “I’m happy to report that Jake is great.
Wonderful
, in fact. He could probably even play a prince in a Disney movie.”

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that.” Andie fake-choked herself.

I laughed and started looking through the dresses again. “The only problem is that I don’t get to see him that often. Our schedules are both so busy.”

“Have you freaked out on him lately?” McKenna said.

I slowly put my hands on my hips. “You will both be proud to hear that
no
, I have not. I’ve made a huge effort to talk to him
nearly every day, and you know how bad I am about talking on the phone.”

“Yeah, you really suck at that,” Andie said.

“I’m not one to cast stones,” McKenna said. “These days I don’t even know where my phone is half the time.”

“You have a baby, that doesn’t count,” Andie said to her.

I adjusted my ponytail. “So anyhow, I’ve been making a big effort to include him in everything that’s been going on with me, the good
and
the bad. And guess what? I’ve even shared a big secret with him.”

As soon as I said that last part, I wanted to cover my mouth.

Shut up, Waverly!

Andie’s ears perked up. “A big secret? Do tell.”

I hesitated.

“Well?” she said.

“I…I really shouldn’t, I’m sorry,” I said.

What is wrong with you, Waverly?

“You’re keeping a secret from
us
? For real?” Andie looked from me to McKenna, who put her hands up as if to say
I don’t want to get involved
.

I shook my head. “I’m sorry, Andie. I can’t. I shouldn’t have mentioned it.”

She looked a bit hurt, which surprised me. Didn’t she have any secrets that were just between her and Nick?

I decided to change the subject. “Anyhow, speaking of Jake, I have some big news.”

Their eyes immediately darted to my left hand.

I laughed. “Not
that
.”

“Well, what then?” McKenna said.

“He invited me to spend Christmas with his family.”

“No way!” Andie pushed my arm. “That’s huge.”

“I know. Can you believe it? I’m totally nervous.”

“Congratulations. That’s a major milestone in the relationship department,” McKenna said.

I bit my lip. “Tell me about it. Like I don’t already have enough on my mind right now.”

“What do you mean?” Andie said.

Before I could reply, I felt a light tap on my shoulder.

“Excuse me, are you Waverly from
Love, Wendy
?”

I turned and saw two women in their early twenties smiling at me. One wore a baseball hat, the other a high bun. I smiled back and hoped they hadn’t overheard our conversation.

“Hi, um, yes, that’s me.”

“We love that show!” Hat Girl playfully clapped her hands as High-Bun Girl whipped out her phone.

“Can we take a picture with you?” High-Bun Girl asked.

“Um, sure,”
Ugh
. I wish I’d bothered to put on makeup, because I knew that picture was totally going on Facebook for the whole world to see. Where was Tanya and her magic toolbox when I needed her?

“I’ll take it!” Andie put out her hand. “So you like watching
Love, Wendy
?”

“We love it,” Hat Girl said as she handed over the phone. “We watch it all the time at our sorority house. We go to Rutgers.”

“What house are you in?” I asked.

“Delta Gamma,” High-Bun Girl said.

“
Waverly
was a Delta Gamma,” Andie said. “Did you know that?”

Both girls looked at me. “You were?” they asked in unison.

I nodded. “At Cal Berkeley. She was too.” I pointed to McKenna.

“That’s so cool!” Hat Girl said.

“So speaking of
Honey on Your Mind
, can you tell that Waverly has a Delta Gamma-style hangover on
her
mind right now?” Andie said.

“Andie!” I gasped as McKenna covered her mouth and cracked up.

Hat Girl laughed too. “We’re totally hurting too. We had our holiday formal last night.”

High-Bun Girl nodded. “It was intense. On the way home, my date threw up out the window of the bus.”

“That happened to me once,” McKenna said. “KA spring fling. Jason Parker. Off the balcony.”

“I think it happens to everyone at least once,” Andie said, nodding.

I thought of my sorority days from way back when. It was hard to wrap my head around how many years had passed since then. The two women standing here seemed so young, which of course made me think about how old we must seem to them.
Are we really that old now?

As I posed for a photo with my “fans,” I glanced at McKenna and thought of her husband and baby at home, then took a quick look at Andie and thought of the big move that awaited her back in San Francisco.

There was no getting around it. No matter how immature we acted on occasion, we were grown up now. We were hardly
old
, but no one would consider us kids anymore.

• • •

“So how long do you think you’ll stay in New York?” McKenna finished her water and set the glass on the table. She had
insisted on an alcohol-free dinner that evening, at least for herself. Meanwhile, Andie, more determined than ever to remain childless after seeing how far McKenna had fallen from her glory days of barhopping the night away, had ordered a bottle of pinot noir that she and I would split.

“I’m really not sure. At first, I had it in my head that I’d stay for a couple years, but after living here a few months, I can see how two years could easily stretch into like…
ten
. There’s just so much to
do
, and I haven’t even scratched the surface.”

She shook her head. “Don’t stay away
too
long. Elizabeth’s early education won’t be complete without witnessing a few Waverly moments. It’s just not the same hearing about them over the phone.”

“Thank you, Mackie. That’s what I’ll think the next time I slip on a patch of ice or a pigeon drops a load on my head: I wish little Elizabeth had seen that.”

Andie refilled my wine glass. “I hate pigeons. They’re like flying rats. So how’s it been working with Paige?”

I felt the blood in my veins go cold. So far, I’d managed to avoid the topic of Paige and had been hoping to get through the rest of the weekend without having to talk about her at all. Knowing me and my big mouth, I knew the chances were excellent that I’d inadvertently blurt out something inappropriate.

“Paige?”

“Yeah, how’s that going?”

I had to say
something
, but I didn’t want to lie. I was a horrible liar, and Andie was perceptive, so I needed to be careful.

I decided to tell the truth and exercise selective omission.

“She’s great. Amazing, actually. She’s lined up some big retail accounts for Waverly’s Honey Shop, and in January she’s coming on board full-time.”

“Full-time, for real?” Andie said. “You’ll be paying her a salary?”

I shook my head. “Commission, but a really good commission. And did I tell you guys I’m opening an office for Waverly’s Honey Shop? I feel like I didn’t tell you that.”

“I think I need to subscribe to your blog to keep up with your life,” McKenna said.

“Please, like I would
ever
in a million years have a blog.”

“And thank God for that,” Andie said.

I nodded. “I
hate
personal blogs. Why people feel the need to share the minutia of their lives with the whole world is beyond me. Why on earth would I want anyone to know about my bunions? Or what type of shampoo I use? It’s madness!”

“I feel the same about people who Tweet,” Andie said.

I pointed at her. “Exactly. And don’t even get me started on Facebook.”

“You two want to get off your social-media soapbox so Waverly can tell us more about her office?” McKenna said.

I smiled. “I’m sorry. I just get a little fired up about stuff like that. Anyhow, the Honey products really seem to be taking off, and while I’m exhausted from running around at Paige’s beck and call, none of it would have happened without her. She’s really good at her job.”

“She’s crazy smart,” Andie said. “I remember when we were kids, she knew all the answers on
Jeopardy
. She was a brainiac, even back then.”

I took a sip of wine and thought about how I could change the subject. Before I could say anything, Andie spoke again.

“So is Paige seeing anyone these days?”

Damn.

Don’t lie, don’t lie, don’t lie.

“Um, I think so,” I said, burying my nose in my glass.

“Really? I’m glad to hear that,” Andie said. “That girl has been through the dating ringer.”

McKenna looked at her. “More than Waverly?”

I coughed. “Thanks for that. It’s nice to know I’m a barometer by which to measure romantic failure.”

“Hey now, she’s just telling it like it is. Don’t be afraid to own it,” Andie said. “And yes, Paige’s list of dating horror stories rivals Waverly’s. At every family reunion she seems to have a new one that tops the one before it.”

“Really?” McKenna said.

“Oh yes. Has she told you about Wait-for-a-Taxi Guy?”

I looked at her. “
Wait-for-a-Taxi
Guy
?”

“Yeah, it was when she lived in Baltimore. That story is
unbelievable
.”

“Well?” McKenna said. “Are you going to leave us just hanging?”

Andie leaned toward us for a moment, and then sat up straight. “Are you sure you want to hear this? It’s gross, and we’re eating.”

McKenna waved a hand in front of her. “Please. You don’t know gross until you give birth.”

Andie nodded. “True. It doesn’t get much grosser than pushing a fully formed human being out of your vagina.”

“Andie!” I said, laughing.

“
She
brought it up,” Andie said with a shrug.

McKenna rubbed her hands together. “OK, lay it on us.”

Andie leaned in again and lowered her voice. “OK, so listen to
this
. When she lived in Baltimore, Paige went on a blind date with some guy who worked with a friend of hers or something.”

“OK…” I said.

“So the date went fine. Not amazing or anything, but not awful, either. Just
fine
. They went to dinner at some restaurant in her neighborhood, nothing fancy.”

She paused to take a sip of her wine. We waited for her to continue.

“Apparently Paige was living in an area where there aren’t a lot of cabs cruising around on a Thursday night. So after dinner, her date suggested that he call a cab and wait for it at her apartment after walking her home. She was like, OK, whatever. But just so you know, I have an early flight tomorrow morning, so I need to pack.”

I rolled my eyes. “Lie.”

“No. Totally true. And she was going to be gone for like ten days, so she really
did
need to pack.”

McKenna gestured for her to continue. “OK…”

“Paige told him this, but he still wanted to come up, so they walked to her building and went upstairs, and he called a cab. She showed him around the living room and handed him the TV remote, then started packing. For like five minutes she was in and out of the bedroom and the bathroom getting her things together…until she heard some weird noises coming from the living room.”

I raised my eyebrows.

“At first she thought it was the TV, but the noises kept getting louder, so she decided to see what was going on…”

“And?” McKenna and I said at the same time.

“And…I kid you not…”

“And
what
?” we said.

Andie lowered her voice even further. “And…the guy was…well…he was…having a little party on her couch.”

“A little party?” McKenna said.

Andie made a squeamish face. “Yeah, you know…like a party for one? Like…in his pants?”

I laughed aloud. “You’re joking.”

“Totally not joking.”

“No way,” McKenna said.

Andie held her palms in front of her. “Paige
swears
it’s true. Why the hell would she make up a crazy story like that?”

“So what happened then?” I asked.

“Well, she was like, Um, what are you doing, you perv? And apparently he jumped up, zipped up, and took off. And that was it.”

“Wow, that guy had some balls,” McKenna said.

I looked at her and laughed. “Yeah, literally.”

“At least she didn’t
like
that one.” Andie gestured to herself and then to me. “Both Waverly and I have had our dating nightmares, but most of them were more funny than sad. Poor Paige has dated some serious assholes. She puts on a good face, but she’s been hurt a lot.”