Honey on Your Mind (26 page)

Jake held his palms up. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you. I take no responsibility for this.”

The oldest Mr. McIntyre took a bite of his scrambled eggs. “I love jokes. Let’s hear what you’ve got, young lady.”

I quickly scanned the table, making eye contact with nearly everyone, and I was surprised to realize that instead of feeling freaked out, I felt…comfortable. As an only child whose one serious romantic relationship had been with another only child, I’d never attended such a big family gathering.

This is kind of nice
.

I smiled and nodded. “OK, sure.” I took a breath and paused for just a moment.

“What do you call a cow with only two legs?”

They all looked at me.

I tilted my body to one side. “Lean beef.”

Everyone, or more accurately, everyone but Jake’s mom, chuckled.

“What do you call a cow with
no
legs?” I said.

They all kept looking at me.

I hesitated before speaking again.

“Ground beef.”

This time everyone genuinely laughed. Even Jake’s mom, who was quietly folding and refolding her napkin on the table, smiled.

“That’s pretty good,” Michele said.

Jake’s dad held up his plate. “I’ve got a cow with no legs right here next to my eggs.”

I turned to Jake and playfully pushed his shoulder. “See? I’m not
that
bad.”

“Nonpaying audience.” He gave my shoulder a squeeze, then stood up and excused himself.

“How do you come up with the ideas for the show?” Brett asked me. “Do you make them up yourself?”

I nodded. “For the most part. We have a weekly staff meeting to bounce ideas around, as well. Plus I get a lot of e-mails from viewers through my website, and I have some funny friends, so I have a lot of material to choose from.”

“Sounds so fun,” Natalie said.

I smiled. “It
is
fun. It’s nice to be able to laugh at work, you know?”

Brett coughed. “I’m an attorney. Our laughter masks internal pain and suffering.”

Michele elbowed him. “Oh please, you love your corporate job. You’d wear a suit to the dentist on a Saturday.” She looked at me. “Brett loves the suit thing, and if you hadn’t noticed, he
loves
the preppy thing. His favorite color is Nantucket red, which I say is just a fancy word for pink.”

“It’s manly,” Brett said in a deep voice as he patted his plaid sweater vest.

“So you’re serious about this career, then?” Mrs. McIntyre said to me. The chilly tone of her voice sucked all the jovial feeling out of the air.

I looked at her. “Serious?”

Natalie stood up and started to clear plates. “Oh, Mom, leave her alone. Now who wants another mimosa?”

Everyone but Mrs. McIntyre raised an empty glass.

Natalie laughed. “I figured.”

“Can you just bring out the pitcher?” Brett asked.

Tim stood up and started clearing dishes too.

“Can I help?” I asked him.

“Absolutely not,” he said. “You’re our guest.”

Jake’s mom excused herself to use the restroom. I chewed on my fingernail as I watched her walk away.

• • •

The Knicks were playing the Jazz that day, so after brunch, Jake, Brett, Tim, and I gathered in the family room to watch Shane take the court. Michele, Natalie, and Jake’s parents stayed in the living room to chat and watch the kids play with their new toys.

As the Knicks streamed out of the locker room, Brett lightly smacked Jake on the back of the head. “That could have been you. You could have been our
meal ticket
, little brother.”

Jake didn’t turn around. “I averaged four points a game at Duke, older brother. Shane averaged thirty. You never
were
very good at math.”

“A man can dream,” Brett said. “What about you, Waverly? Jake tells me your dad used to play pro baseball. Are you a jock too?”

I shook my head. “Unfortunately those genes drowned in the pool.”

He laughed. “Nice. Anyone need a drink? I’m thirsty.” He stood up and smoothed his perfectly pressed pants with his hands.

“I’ll take a beer,” Tim said.

“Oh my God, that reminds me,” I said.

“What reminds you of what?” Tim look confused.

“Being thirsty,” I said. “That reminds me of something.”

Jake looked at me. “Uh-oh, I sense a joke coming on.”

Brett stopped walking. “Another joke?”

“Well, it’s not really a joke. More of an observation,” I said.

Brett wiggled his fingers inward. “Let’s hear it.”

“Well, I was just thinking about the cows I was talking about earlier. If you were a farmer and owned a brown cow, don’t you think a cool name for it would be
Chocolate Milk
?”

Brett laughed. “OK, then.”

“Ouch,” Tim said.

“I told you,” Jake said, shaking his head.

I put my palms up and looked at all of them. “What? What?”

Jake put his arm around me. “I’ll take another Bloody Mary. And bring a muzzle for my little friend here.”

“Or some chocolate milk!” I added, laughing.

• • •

At halftime, I got up to find an empty room where I could call my dad and wish him a merry Christmas. On the way down the hall, I heard the sound of voices in the kitchen.

“I’m just not sure I see a future there, that’s all. I’m sure she’s a lovely girl.”

I froze.

It was Jake’s mom.

Is she talking about
me
?

Then I heard Natalie’s voice. “You don’t know that, mom. A lot of things could happen. He might not even take the job.”

“He told me she’d never move to Los Angeles. And you heard her in there; she basically said her TV career is more important to her than he is. So to me, that means there’s no future. Jake has already said as much to me.”

Los Angeles? Take the job?

What job?

What?

Mrs. McIntyre’s voice continued. “Holly would never choose a career over Jake.”

I felt like I’d been kicked in the stomach.

Holly.

Holly, his pretty ex-girlfriend.

Holly, his pretty ex-girlfriend who wants him back.

Jake had told me things were over with Holly, and I believed him.

But I still felt…sick.

I remembered the look in his eyes after I gave him my keys. He’d looked so pensive and serious, but in a
good
way.

Or so I had hoped.

Did I have it all wrong?

Is this not what I think it is?

I needed to get some air. Immediately.

I tiptoed past the kitchen into the foyer and quickly sifted through the coats on the rack to find my jacket and purse. At that moment, I felt like walking out of the house and never coming back.
She doesn’t want me here…I have to get out of here…

Hoping they wouldn’t hear me, I opened the door and slipped outside. I quietly closed the door behind me, then pulled my hat and gloves out of my coat pocket and put them on. I hurried toward the sidewalk. Within seconds, tears were streaming down my face.

No future?

Is that true?

Is Jake just leading me on?

What job in Los Angeles?

He and I hadn’t ever really talked about “the future,” and we hadn’t been dating seriously all that long. But I loved him, and he loved me. Wasn’t that enough, at least for now?

I dug my phone out of my purse and started walking. I removed a glove for a moment to call my dad. It was freezing, but I couldn’t go back inside.

He answered right away. “Baby, hi there, merry Christmas!”

“Hi, Dad, how are you?”

“I’m doing just wonderful, thanks for asking. Betty just made us a tasty Christmas breakfast, and we’re getting ready to open our presents. How are you?”

I closed my eyes for a moment and smiled. This was the first time I’d been away from my dad for Christmas, and I was so glad he wasn’t spending it alone. I wondered if Betty would ever know how grateful I was to her for coming into his life. I felt more tears stream down my cheek. Why couldn’t Jake’s mom feel that way about me?

“I’m good, Dad, a little tired from working so much, but I’m good.” I wiggled my glove back on and hoped my shaky voice wouldn’t betray me.

“You having fun up there in Boston?”

“It’s a little overwhelming meeting the whole family at once, but they’re really nice.”
Most of them.

“I’m sure they love you, baby. How could they not love you?”

For a moment, I was tempted to tell him what I’d just overheard, but then I decided to change the subject.

“So, um, how are the wedding plans going?”

“So far, so good. Betty’s a whiz at organizing. I tried to help a few times, but I just ended up in the way. So in the end we decided that she’ll tell me where to be and when, and I’ll show up in a tuxedo. I figured as long as I don’t screw
that
up, everything else will be OK.”

I laughed. “I like your style, Dad.”

“You’re still coming, right?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for anything. Andie and McKenna want to come too, if that’s OK with you.”

“Sure, baby, Betty would love to meet your friends. She’s so proud of you, you know. She just loves watching you on that show of yours. She always says how she can’t believe her soon-to-be daughter is on TV.”

Daughter? Wow.

I thought of the year before, when I’d driven to Sacramento to spend Christmas with my dad in his small apartment, right before he started dating Betty. The day had been nice, but quiet, and a bit melancholy, as holidays always were with just the two of us. I’d shown up with Santa hats for us to wear, and we’d spent the afternoon watching basketball on TV.

“Dad?”

“Yes, baby?”

“Can you do me a favor?”

“Anything, baby.”

“Do you still have those Santa hats I brought to your house last year?”

“Sure do.”

“I know this may sound strange, but would you and Betty wear them today?” I could feel a lump forming in my throat. “It would…it would make me feel like a part of me was there with you.”

“Why, of course we will. I’ll get them out of the closet as soon as I hang up.”

Suddenly I started to cry. “Thanks, Dad.”

“Are you OK, baby?”

“I’m fine, just a little…cold. Will you please tell Betty I said merry Christmas?”

“Of course. She’s right here if you want to tell her yourself.”

I wiped the tears away with my glove. I could fool my dad, but Betty would know I was upset. “No, um, I really should be heading back inside now. But would you, um, would you please tell her…” My voice began to crack, and I fake sniffled to hide the fact that I was crying. “Um, will you please tell her…that I’m glad…that I’m glad she wants to be my…mom?”

“Will, do baby. She’ll be thrilled to hear it.”

“Thanks, Dad. I should really be getting inside now. They’re going to be wondering where I wandered off to.”

“OK, thanks for calling. You take care now, OK?”

“OK. Merry Christmas, Dad.”

“Merry Christmas, Waverly.”

I hung up the phone.
I love you, Dad.

I stood still for a few moments, trying to absorb the conflicting emotions I was feeling. Love. Pain. Fear. Loneliness.

I looked back at the house. I wasn’t ready to go back inside, so I decided to take a walk around the block. As I slowly wandered through the festive neighborhood, I studied the pretty houses
lining the streets and wondered how the families inside were celebrating the holiday. Was I the only one who was part of a big party yet felt a little bit alone?

When I made it back to Natalie’s, I stopped on the sidewalk and stared for a moment at the bright Christmas lights framing the front windows, then smiled weakly at the huge candy canes, elves, and sleigh decorating the snow-covered front yard.

It was probably the most welcoming home I’d ever seen.

I just wished I felt…welcome.

• • •

Back inside, Jake and the guys were still watching the Knicks game. The score was tied, so they were all focused on the screen. I sat down next to Jake and leaned back against the couch.

“Your dad doing OK?” Jake whispered, his eyes still on the screen.

I nodded. “Yeah, he’s good.” I was grateful for the close game. If Jake hadn’t been so distracted, he would have seen that I was upset, and I just couldn’t deal with that right now. How would I reply if he asked me what was wrong?

A few minutes later, the Knicks’ coach called a time-out. By then I’d pulled myself together, so I forced a smile and put my hand on Jake’s arm. “How’s Shane doing?”

“He’s got twenty-five already. That guy’s a machine.”

“I still can’t believe how tall he is. How did he fit in the bed in the dorms?” I remembered when I’d first met Shane a couple years ago, at a big tradeshow in Atlanta. He was there to do press interviews for a line of basketball shoes made by one of my clients, so we’d spent three days straight together. I’d never
seen such an enormous man up close before. He made the media room look like something out of
Alice in Wonderland
.

“His feet hung off the end, that’s for sure,” Jake said.

“No joke. I thought I had big dogs, but that guy has some
gargantuan
dogs,” Brett said. “They’re like water skis.”

We all laughed as the game came back on. I was grateful for the distraction and was beginning to feel a bit less rattled. Maybe later I’d get the courage to tell Jake what I’d overheard.

• • •

With less than a minute to go in the fourth quarter and the Knicks up by one, Shane leaped to block a shot. He landed awkwardly and crumpled to the floor, grabbing his leg.

Jake immediately stood up. “That wasn’t good. Oh, hell. That was
not
good.”

Tim shook his head. “That looked like it
hurt
.”

Shane lay there on the floor, still clutching his leg as his teammates circled around him.

“You think it’s his ankle?” Brett said. “Or his knee?”

Jake didn’t reply as he stared at the screen. The team trainer ran out to attend to Shane, who was visibly in pain, and then they cut to a commercial break.