Honor Reclaimed (All About Honor) (40 page)

John hung his head in shame he did
not even try to stop the tears of shame that rolled down his cheek.
 
She had suffered so much for him and
how had he repaid her?
 
He did not
even know how to begin to make it up to Eirian.
 
He of all people should have known that she was loyal to the
extreme and incapable of what he had accused her.
 
She loved him, why had he not known that there was an
explanation.
 

He sat there for several minutes
trying to absorb everything he had been told.
 
Finally, he looked up, tears in his eyes, and turned to
Eirian.
 
“Can you ever forgive
me?
 
I have no excuse for my
behavior.
 
I have thought of
nothing but returning home to you and then I was met with this.
 
I should have known.
 
I should never have doubted you.
 
I am unmanned by my behavior.
 
I love you, and I am incredibly sorry
for what you suffered then and for my ungentlemanly behavior today.”

“Nothing has ever hurt me the way
the single blow from you did today.
 
Not the multiple beatings I received at my rapists hands, not the pain
of childbirth, nothing!
 
I can
forgive someday, but I do not know if I will ever forget the pain you caused me
today.

I love you too- so very much.
 
I have missed you terribly, but I have
dreaded your return for this reason.
 
I feel sure we can put our marriage back together if only you can find
it in your heart to accept Anna.
 
She is my child and I love her.
 
She is so happy, so sweet, and so smart that it is impossible not to
love her.
 
Are you willing to give
her a chance?”
 
Eirian was not sure
how much more she could take.

John swallowed hard.
 
It was a huge request and he hoped he
was man enough to live up to it.
 
Did he have it in his heart to overlook the circumstances of the child’s
birth?
 
Yet Eirian, who had
suffered so much, and William who had dealt with the results of the abuse, were
capable of loving her.
 
Was he any
less capable of love than they?
 
Had they not suffered more than he?

Eirian had been holding her breath
waiting for his response.
 
As
shameful as it was, if he told her he could not accept Anna, then it was over
and she would ask him to file for divorce.
 
She did not want to tie him to a marriage that he could no
longer accept.
 
He certainly had
grounds for divorce.
 
He could clam
multiple infidelities.
 
She would
not fight him on the divorce.

“She is a precious child.
 
She looks so much like Johane, but her
coloring is yours.
 
I cannot fault
her for the circumstances of her conception.
 
I will accept her as my own and I am sure that given time I
will come to love her because she is a combination of you and Johane.”
 
He held his arms out to Eirian and she
fell into them with tears of happiness pouring down her cheeks.

John glanced up to see his son
trying to slip quietly from the room.
 
“Pardon me for just a moment my dear.
 
Son, please wait.”

William stopped and turned to face
his father.
 
“Sir, I think you
could use some privacy right now.”

“Yes, of course, in a few minutes,
but first I must tell you how terribly proud I am of the man that you have
become.
 
I cannot take the credit
for it.
 
You have both of your
mothers’ temperaments and apparently, it seems, their intelligence and
compassion as well.
 
I thank you
for taking care of my family while I could not be here.”
 
John was almost overcome by his pride.

“I just tried to think of how you
would have handled it.
 
That was my
measure for how to handle any situation that presented itself.
 
I did the best that I could.”
 
William replied as he turned to leave.

After the door closed behind his
son, John gathered Eirian in his arms and kissed her passionately as he had been
dreaming of for three years.
 
All
of the love, the pain, the loneness, the fear and the passion that had been
pent up for over three years came rushing out in the sharing of their kisses.
 
John tenderly kissed Eirian’s lips, her
face,
her
eyes.
 
His lips traveled to her neck and her ears.
 
The whole time his hands roamed over her body as if trying
to remember the feel of her.
 
He
could not get enough of the feel, the taste, and the smell of her.
 
He had waited so long.
 
She felt the same way.
 
They slowly sank to the carpet in front
of the fire.
 
As John lowered
Eirian to the ground he said, “This is where our love first started.
 
It was our beginning and it will be our
renewal.”

William standing outside of the
closed door smiled and whispered, “Welcome home father.”