Honored Vow (33 page)

“Jesus, Yuri,” I sighed. “When it was going to be Domin and Logan in the pit—you had to have been terrified.”

“Yes. Either way I would have lost.”

“But Logan, he thought of making Domin his maahes.”

“Because he didn’t want to destroy him, either,” he said softly. “I mean, there was the feud, you know? That bullshit that Domin’s father kept alive, but once he died… then it was over and Peter welcomed Domin into their house. Everything was good for so long until Domin was old enough to lead, to take the seat away from his uncle, who held it until he turned twenty.”

A new semel was “made” the moment they turned twenty. As soon as the first-born son, the heir came of age, if there was an heir of age, the semel in power stepped down. Logan had become semel as would his son after him. When Logan had turned twenty, his father had passed him the mantle of command; it was how it had always been, another antiquated leftover from when people only lived to the ripe old age of thirty. There were so many of our laws that needed to be revamped or tossed out completely.

“So Domin took over being semel from his uncle and what?”

“Discovered a tribe full of corruption, plagued with debt, and basically just falling apart at the seams,” Yuri told me. “It was a mess, and the only thing he could think of to do was to unite against a common threat.”

“And that threat was the tribe of Mafdet.”

“Yeah. I mean, he knew Logan, knew his weaknesses and how far he could push him. If you hadn’t ever come, I don’t know what, if anything, would have ever changed.”

“They were just dancing around each other, Logan and Domin.”

“Yes, they were.”

“And all that time, you just waited and hoped.”

“There was nothing else to do,” he assured me. “I wanted Domin, but Logan was my semel.”

My heart went out to Yuri, who had spent years holding out for Domin even as the relationship between the two tribes, between the two men, disintegrated.

“And then Domin fell in love with Koren.”

“He was infatuated with—”

“It was love, Yuri, on both sides,” I corrected him. “And Koren may be too stupid to know it, but someday it’ll hit him like a sledgehammer, and when it does, he’s gonna die a little over what he gave up.”

“Or not,” Yuri said.

And he was right. This was Koren we were talking about, who apparently never knew his own mind, so the chances were good that he would never, ever realize what he lost. “What if,” I began, “Domin picks you, and then six months, a year later, Koren wants him back. What happens then?”

“Then I have faith in Domin,” he told me, “if he even chooses me to begin with.”

I stared at him. “So even if you lose in the end, you’ll take him for however long you get.”

“Hell yeah,” he said, smiling at me. “Whatever I can have for however long I can have it.”

I grunted. “Your heart is much stronger than mine.”

“Oh, I don’t think so. You fell in love with Logan and you weren’t even sure if he was gay or not. That’s pretty damn brave.”

“It’s not brave,” I argued. “The man is my mate, the only one I will ever have. I mean, I know you guys don’t really get it, but tomorrow, if he dies… Yuri, you might as well kill me too. I won’t live through it.”

“But you expected him to; if you had died that time you called for the law of Bast and planned to take Logan’s place in the pit.”

“He can live without me, Yuri, he’s the semel. He’s the strongest, the reah the weakest.”

“That’s a lot of shit,” he scoffed. “Logan is physically stronger than you, but I’m tellin’ you right now, if you die, he’s done. You don’t know, you weren’t with him when that psychopath Laurent Bruyere kidnapped you. I have never seen him like that, and I’ve known him since we were kids.”

“What was he like?” I asked before I could stop myself.

“He was hard and cold and mean. I had no idea Logan could ever be like that, but he—it was like he was someone else, someone angry. The change once he found you was amazing. I got my semel back.”

“I—”

“Here’s the thing,” Yuri sighed. “I’m not brave, I just fuckin’ want what I’ve been waiting for, for half my damn life, and you and Logan need to never be apart again for any reason other than choice.”

“Agreed.”

“Amazing, huh?”

“What is?”

He tipped his head, and following where he was looking, I saw Yusuke’s right arm slide around Crane’s waist as she snuggled closer. “That she can even be alive and isn’t a complete fuckin’ basket case. Her whole life ended today, everything about who she is, what she is, just done in the time it took her psychotic mate to maim her. I saw it, the way he just terrorized her and bit her, and she was struggling so hard, and even when it was done, she was just so shattered, so shocked that the man she loved would turn on her like that.”

“Yeah, but we’re panthers,” I told him. “We know that being scourged or marked or sent into exile or accepting a title is part of the duality of our nature. All these things are our reality. I’m not saying that the horrible things that happened to Crane or Yusuke or the yareahs that died in the pit or the semels that will never again be men, I’m not telling you that those things are okay, but for us… they’re part of being a panther. The betrayal of her semel may be hard for Yusuke to wrap her brain around, but the rest, his actions, I mean, she’s known all her life, we all have, that we live and die at the command of our semel.”

He nodded.

“I mean, a regular man does not in his life imagine himself in a large room with eight panthers trying to kill him. But you made the decision to step into the pit for Logan, to show others that he is strong because he has a strong sheseru. It’s fucked up, Yuri, and Russ is right, a lot of it is outdated barbaric crap.”

He smiled at me. “It is, and it’s time for someone to change it.”

“Which is what I told Logan,” I said, exhaling. “I think he’s supposed to be semel-aten because he won’t just be about the power, like they’ve all been for the last hundred years, but actually about bringing the laws into this century.”

“That would be brilliant,” he agreed. “But Sobek?”

Egypt. I felt the same way. “I know, I kinda just want to live in my town for the rest of my life.”

“Me too,” he agreed.

“Although,” I said, smiling at him, “wherever Domin is—”

“Whatever he wants,” Yuri said hoarsely. “I’ll do whatever he wants if he’ll just keep me.”

“You’re killing me with this, you know.”

He smiled at me, and I saw the feeling there, what I meant to him. “You were amazing today, Jin. You controlled your power, you protected Logan, and you didn’t hurt anyone from your own tribe. I’m so proud to stand with you and my semel.”

I felt my eyes swimming suddenly, and he leaned forward to hold me. All of us were overly tired, overly emotional, and just completely overwrought. Yuri normally never hugged me. He protected me, he was my champion, we sat together a lot and talked, but hugging was not an activity we participated in. But all of us were raw and vulnerable and needy. So he held me tight, and I let him.

I woke up in the night to the beautiful sight of my sheseru smiling, eyes closed, head back, as Domin sat in his lap, kissing under his jaw and down his throat. Yuri was in heaven with Domin in his lap, straddling his thighs, and the soft whimpering moan made me sigh. When my maahes leaned back, looking into the face of my sheseru, Yuri’s eyes slowly drifted open.

“What do you want?”

“You know what I want,” Yuri told him, his voice husky and low. “I want you to keep me. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

Domin’s dark-brown eyes looked black in the low light. He had shaved at some point during the day and the strong chiseled features were again visible, no longer hidden under a thick beard. Yuri was enjoying the feel of the smooth skin if his fingers continually grazing over the man’s face were any indication.

“And I’d really like you to mark me,” Yuri confessed breathlessly.

“You’re insane, you’d never survive it.”

“I think I would.”

Domin exhaled sharply. “Listen to me. Between a semel and his true-mate, the mark hurts but heals. Between two regular cats… the semel’s mark is never given, because you could bleed to death,” he finished, obviously shaken. “Besides, what makes you think I would even want to do such a thing?”

Yuri’s dark eyes, not quite the cobalt Mikhail’s were, more a warm royal blue or sapphire, just melted. God, he was so gone it was painful to see all the need there on display. “Please.”

“Fuck you, no,” Domin snapped, moving to get up, rolling off the bigger man’s lap.

Yuri was strong, though, and he wanted Domin there, right there where he was. His fingers dug into Domin’s thighs to hold him. “You’re still a semel inside, and I know that.”

His head snapped up, his eyes locked on Yuri’s.

“I know that just because you’re a maahes now doesn’t take away all the things you wanted and what you’re built for, physically, emotionally, and mentally. I know that you wanted to find your true-mate, mark
him—”

“There’s no way that I would have found a male reah like—”

“But that’s why you were so pissed.” Yuri took his face in his hands. “What the fuck did Logan Church need with a male mate? The man was straight. So when you saw Jin, you thought he was the answer to everything, and when he wasn’t yours, it made no fuckin’ sense.”

Domin brushed Yuri’s hands from his face but didn’t move, instead pushing forward, closer.

Yuri caught his breath, hands back on the smaller man’s thighs. “Dom, I know, okay? I do. Please lemme be the guy you need, please mark me.”

“It could kill you.”

But I knew it could also kill him not to take the mark. Before we got home, Yuri needed to have a piece of Domin to carry around with him. It was necessary.

“Please,” was all Yuri said.

“What makes you think I even want that?” Domin snapped at him, asking for the second time so that even I knew he wanted to, since he couldn’t stop bringing it up.

Yuri smiled at him. “I know you.”

And Domin was going to argue, I could see he was, but it was there in his eyes, how badly he wanted to bite into the other man’s flesh and taste Yuri’s blood on his tongue. “What if you bleed to death?”

“I don’t shift as fast as Jin, but I can shift fast enough not to bleed to death. I’m the sheseru of my tribe, Domin; the only one stronger than me is Logan.” He was matter-of-fact as he stared into Domin’s dark-brown eyes.

“For a reah, the pain becomes pleasure, for you… it won’t change. It will only hurt.”

“I think that depends on what you’re doing to me as you deliver the bite.” Yuri smiled slightly, his eyes heavy-lidded.

I saw the muscles in Domin’s jaw clench as he made a noise in the back of his throat.

“Get up and let’s go to the cave where we spent that night.”

“Yuri—”

“I want this—please.”

The last, with his voice breaking just a little, was too much for Domin. He got up, grabbed his parka, hat, gloves, and lube—couldn’t forget that—and headed for the door. Yuri was right behind him.

I was smiling as I watched them go.

“You’re happy about something.”

I looked down at my mate. “Yuri and Domin.”

“Oh? You like that even better than Koren and Domin, do you?”

My scowl made him smile, his eyes gleaming in the low light.

“You’re an ass, Church.” I shoved him away from me as he tried to grab me and pull me down beside him. “How come you never told me that Yuri was in love with Domin?”

“It wasn’t my secret to share; besides, you always think I’m oblivious anyway.”

What was he… and then I knew. “I thought you didn’t know about Domin and Koren’s relationship when that was going on, but you did, didn’t you?”

He nodded. “I knew they were having one, I just didn’t know how far it had progressed. I do see things, Jin.”

As I stared down at him, his smile turned wicked. “Come here,” he said, patting his chest.

I lay down beside him, snuggled up tight, and listened to him breathing. It was a really good sound.

“It’s why I’m so pissed at Koren all the time,” he told me, threading his fingers through my hair as he kissed my forehead. “He can’t keep jerking Domin around, it’s not fair.”

“I feel so stupid for missing that Koren was clueless.”

“But all of us, me, Yuri, Domin, Mikhail, we all grew up with him; you didn’t. He’s just annoying you lately,” he said, chuckling, tilting my head up and kissing the edge of my jaw. “He’s been annoying me way longer.”

I smiled at him before he leaned close and took gentle possession of my mouth. I loved the kiss, his mouth on mine, and so moaned out my happiness softly, intimately. He clutched at me, the kiss becoming hotter, deeper, and endless. It went on, was urgent and needed but still drugging, languid, not explosive.

“I missed you so much,” I told him when I had to take a breath, panting, with my forehead against his, the air heavy between us.

“Me too,” he confessed, leaning in to kiss me again.

When I felt a hand on my ass, squeezing, kneading, the other fisted in my hair so I couldn’t get away, I put two hands on his chest and pushed. He let me go but stared up at me as I rolled free, breathing hard, his warm gold eyes locked on my face.

“What?”

I arched an eyebrow for him. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m trying to get laid.”

There was no way to hold in my grin. “No.”

“No?”

“Go to sleep.”

“Can’t,” he said, rubbing his very obvious erection. “I could die from this.”

Which was funny, considering the things he could have died from over the past few days and hadn’t. “Is that what you told the girls in high school?”

“Only you do this to me.”

“Really?” I snickered. “Did you use that too?”

He whimpered, which made me smile and made him crack a grin in return.

“You’re full of crap, go to sleep.”

“But your scent is driving me crazy.”

“Then I’ll go sleep somewhere else.”

It was really something to see the warm golden gaze turn molten. “You sleep with me, only with me.”

The man was so possessive, and I reveled in it. “Yes, my semel.”