Hope for Her (Hope #1) (6 page)

I broke out in a sweat and sirens were going off in my head. I tried to push him away, but he held on tight. I saw the determination in his eyes. Nothing was going to dissuade him, except maybe ...
Bleuch

I threw up all down the front of his shirt.

His starched white button-down shirt looked like an abstract painting with orange juice, strawberries, and red sauce from the spaghetti I had for dinner. I spotted a couple of noodles clinging to the bottom of his shirt, which caused me to dry heave. He stepped back with his eyes protruding out of his skull as he examined his shirt.

I turned and ran to the closest door. I found it unlocked. I pushed the door open and froze, a naked guy stood in the middle of the room waving his penis at me to come in.  I would be safer staying with Brandon.

The next door I tried was locked.

I knocked on another door and almost crumbled in a heap of relief filled tears when it opened.

***

Joshua Elijah Griffin, IV

Oh, fuck me.

I spent half the night watching her, but a few of my brothers had their eye on her, too. I predicted it. While I wanted her in my life, they wanted her for one night.

Our brief moment together wasn't enough for the brothers to register this was the girl I had been talking about all week. Carrington stood out in the crowd, and we all enjoyed the view from a distance, but as the alcohol flowed, the guys became bolder. Randolph made the first move.

He came up behind her on the dance floor, and I watched as he touched her in ways I wanted to touch her. A lump formed at the top of my throat. I wanted to run and grab her, drag her away like a caveman.

I stood there all night seething. I never had time to worry about being at a college party with alcohol flowing and drugs in close proximity.

It pissed me off, but all she did was enjoy herself. She got off on the attention.

After grinding a few other brothers, including James, it was Brandon who dragged her up to the loft.

They passed me on the landing, and Carrington avoided my eyes as I stared her down. Brandon punched me on the shoulder and grinned. I knew what taking a chick to the loft meant. It was a few more steps closer to getting her in his room. Carrington looked more than willing—she was like every other freshman girl on FSU campus.

Fuck her. I gave up and headed to bed. Not like she would want to be with me anyway.

I settled into bed and pulled a pillow over my head to drown out some of the noise. It didn't help; the music was causing the walls to vibrate.

I almost ignored the pounding on the door, but whoever it was, wanted in my room. I jumped up and yanked the door open; ready to yell at who ever it was to get lost.

I blinked and stepped back when I saw Carrington standing there. She bit her bottom lip and pleaded with her eyes. My heart melted. I pulled her in my room as Brandon made it around the corner.

I turned and found her crying with remnants of vomit running down her shirt.

"Take that off," I said pulling a t-shirt out of my dresser. I dropped the shirt on my bed and went in the bathroom to get her a wet towel. I grabbed a bottle of water out of the mini refrigerator on my way back. She got her shirt off and when I turned back, I almost dropped the bottle of water. She stood in the middle of my room in a blue lace bra. I forgot to move.

I wanted to touch the curve in her waist, run my fingers over the ink on her hipbone peeking out of the top of her low-rise jeans. She turned to look at me over her shoulder and her shy smile made me groan under my breath.

I regained feeling in my feet and walked over to her. She took the towel and washed her face. She handed it back and took the bottle of water. She drank half of it in one gulp, and I stood there like a twelve year old watching her chest heave up and down, trying not to drool.

She pulled my t-shirt over her head. When she started unbuttoning her jeans, I couldn't take it anymore. I had to get out of here, or I wouldn't be responsible for my actions. I grabbed her shirt off the floor and headed to the bathroom to wash it out. I returned to find her crawled up on my bed passed out.

This was not how I wanted to get her into my bed.

She curled up on her side, the sheet covering her up to her waist. I reached out and rubbed her shoulder, but she didn't stir. The V-neck t-shirt framed her cleavage. I stared for a minute. I lifted the blanket, wanting to check out the tattoo, but my shirt covered it.

I pulled the blanket up to her shoulders. I sat on the edge of the bed and watched her sleep, moving her hair out of her face and touching her cheek. It was a soft as I had imagined.

I thought for a second about being a gentleman and giving her the bed.

After the way she acted tonight, though, I thought screw it. I crawled over on the other side of the bed and tried to get comfortable without touching her.

It only took a few hours to get the image of her standing in my room in her bra out of my head. I managed to fall asleep before the sun came up.

Chapter Seven

Carrington Olivia Butler

I woke up as another sexy dream with Josh got to the hot part. My head pounded, and I turned over and the pain that shot through my skull made me miss the pounding. I pried my eyes open and scanned my surroundings. Bits and pieces of last night came flooding back to my memory, but not enough to place together what happened.

Did I meet someone? Did I come up to their room?

I moved my legs, and one came up against something solid. I moved my leg back, so as not to wake him, but forced my eyes to focus. It was Josh sleeping on his side, his back facing me.

I remembered knocking on Josh's door last night, and he let me in without hesitation. After the way I acted, I dropped my head back on the pillow and concentrated on remembering what happened between us last night.

I sat up but stopped when Josh rolled over on his back. I froze until his breath remained steady. The blanket slipped down exposing his bare chest. His arm covered his eyes, and I took in the unobstructed view of the tattoo down his left side. It read,
Every day, I write a new page!

I wanted to reach out and touch it, trace the ink with the tip of my fingers, but the shame of last night weighed on my brain. I wasn't ready to face him. Last night was not my proudest moment.

I slid the rest of the way off the bed and rested on the floor, surveying my surroundings. I let out a sigh of relief, happy to discover I had clothes on. They weren’t my clothes, but I figured being clothed was a good sign. Nausea hit me, and I focused on a spot on the wall. An FSU emblem calmed my stomach. I found my jeans folded and sitting on a chair next to the bed. I grabbed them and slid them on.

I found my t-shirt hanging on the bedroom door. I used the nightstand as leverage to pull myself up and grabbed my tank top. I searched around for my flip-flops, and they sat in order next to two pairs of Josh's tennis shoes in the corner. They looked out of place, but it made me smile. Everything in his room was in order.

His class books were lined up on the desk and no clothes were on the floor. The room decor seemed too organized for a guy's room. I stepped into the bathroom and splashed water over my face. It cleared my head, but the pounding in my temples remained.

How much did I drink last night?

I needed to use the bathroom, but thought against it. I needed to throw up, but wanted to do it in the privacy of my dorm room.

I dreaded having to explain this to my roommates, but their insight might be helpful. I needed more clues to figure out what happened last night.

I opened the bedroom door and peeked out. A memory made me pause, but I headed out. I followed the hallway to the stairs and stopped dead in my tracks. My heart raced and I couldn’t catch my breath. Jackson was headed the steps.

He wore ear buds in his ears and as he jogged up the stairs, his head moved back and forth to the beat. I waited for him to notice me thinking, w
hy is God so against me? 

He looked up and tripped on the next step.

“Whoa, hey, Carrington." He blinked a few times.

"Oh, hi."

"Where are you sneaking off to?"

"Please don't give me a hard time. I’m not in the mood."

He laughed and his smile made me want to laugh, but my head hurt.

"Okay, I guess you’re entitled to one walk of shame a semester." He laughed but blinked and turned away. I caught a glimpse of something behind his smile, maybe regret or disappointment.

"This is not a walk of shame," I said as I balled my fist and stomped my foot. Of course, I defended myself, "I passed out in someone’s room."

"His name is Josh."

"You know Josh?" Of course, they knew each other.

"We grew up together. He's a good guy."

"Yeah, he is."

"I just got back from a run and no one is up yet. Coast is clear. You want a ride?"

The thought of spending another minute in his presence sounded liked the best and worst idea in the world.

"Uh, no. I'm fine." I headed down the steps. "The walk will do me good."

"Okay," he said.

As I passed him in the hall, I inhaled his scent, and it calmed my stomach. It took all my strength not to jump him on the stairs.

As he passed, he rubbed my arm. "See you around Carrington."

I swallowed as tears sprung in my eyes. I blinked them away. His declaration sounded final.

I headed out the door and down the steps. The air did nothing to clear my head.

When I reached my dorm room, I found Melinda passed out on the floor next to her bed. I tiptoed over to Jessica's bed, but backed away when I noticed her boyfriend smashed up against the wall behind her.

I grabbed my bathrobe and a towel and headed to the shower.

I turned the shower up on high and waited for the room to steam up before I stepped in the stall. Last night, two guys wanted me—and twelve hours and several shots later, neither of them wanted anything to do with me.

My stomach turned as I thought about them. Fun college times didn't include getting caught up in a weird love triangle between best friends.

The real nature of Jackson and Josh's relationship fascinated me. Jackson appeared easygoing, laidback, and funny. 

Josh was sensitive, intense, and serious, with a dark humor.

I wondered what they had in common.

I turned off the water after twenty minutes and stood pressing my forehead against the shower tiles.

How did I get myself into this mess?

I needed to talk to someone. When the steam dissipated, I wrapped myself in my white fluffy robe and crawled into my bed, ignoring the movement from the other side of the room. Jessica and her boyfriend had woken up and started making out. When the moans and slurping sounds started, I grabbed my headphones and cranked the music loud. I pulled the covers over my head and nestled into my bed, resolved not to come up for air for the rest of the day.

***

Joshua Elijah Griffin, IV

When I woke up, my brain was pounding in my skull. I felt hung over, but it was due to Carrington's antics and not alcohol consumption.

What a fucking lousy first date, if you would even call it a date, but it was memorable. The rehab counselors discouraged us from getting involved in a relationship until we hit a year of sobriety, and I was beginning to think maybe they were right.

Watching Carrington almost hook up with one of my frat brother made me want to drink.

I rolled over to check on her, but she was gone. The only sign she had ever been here was a faint smell in the air along with my t-shirt hanging over the bathroom door.

I headed out the door to survey the damage from last night.

"She didn't even stay to clean it up. Bleuch ... and ran off," Brandon said as I walked into the kitchen.

"Who are y'all talking about?" Randolph asked following me.

"That really hot black chic with the light brown hair. You saw her Randolph. You were dancing with you for a bit," Brandon said.

"Oh yeah, she was hot, but weird. Besides, she’s a virgin."

"No way man," Brandon said. "Not the way she grabbed my dick. She knew what she was doing."

"And then she threw up on you," Jackson said. "I wouldn't go around telling people that story if I was you."

The guys laughed.

I headed back upstairs, figuring she made it out safe, when I noticed Jackson following me.

"You got class today?"

"No, I'm heading back to bed. You?"

"No, but the team leaves around four for the hotel." He followed me up the stairs. Before I entered my room, he stopped me.

"Your friend, Carrington, she snuck out at about six am," Jackson said.

"You know her?"

"I met her a couple of days ago. She's a cool chick."

He watched my expression. His face scrunched up as if he was trying to figure out my intentions with Carrington. He liked her, otherwise, why would he mention her? He wasn't about to admit it.

"She's amazing. But, you know the best part about her, she has no idea," I said.

Jackson smiled and nodded his head. He understood.

"I really like her, man." I pleaded my case without saying too much. I attempted to muster as much sincerity as possible and make it clear that I needed him to back off. We fell for the same girl dozens of times, but he always won. I never cared, but with Carrington, I cared. She was mine.

"Well, like I told you before, be yourself and let her know how you feel."

Jackson continued to his room. He paused, as if to say something, but changed his mind.

"Hey man," I said. "Thanks."

He nodded and disappeared into his room.

I crawled back into bed. I lay there for a long time, wide-awake. I heard what Jackson said and worried about what he chose not to say.

I gave up on sleep and instead took a shower and got dressed. I called Carrington but got no answer. I texted her. Again, no response. I gathered my wallet and keys and headed out of my room and down the stairs, plotting opportunities to run into her over by the freshman dorms. As soon as I reached the first landing, all thoughts of Carrington left my head. My father’s voice echoed up the stairs.