Hope for Him (Hope Series Book #2) (8 page)

"Not as weird as I thought it would be. I thought it would be hard or I'd have some weird flashback or something."

"You've been near the house."

"I drove by it. It looks the same."

"I know. I don't spend much time there except for official meetings."

"I thought you would be the president of the fraternity by now.  Randolph graduated last year, right?"

"No time."

"How's the team look?" I smiled and waited for him to answer.

"You really want to know."

"Of course. I can't wait for the season to start, but I hate we’re going to miss the opening game in Dallas."

"You can fly in. You've got money, now."

"Not for that. I try and spend as little of Jack's money as I have to."

"Why?"

"Because it's his. I use it for his expenses. You should have seen me when I went to buy a car. I had this long list to justify why I needed it for him."

"Mr. Griffin made you do that?"

"Oh, no. Hell no. I created a list to convince myself."

"You're weird." He narrowed his eyes and took another sip of his water. He checked his phone and turned back to me. 

"You have someplace to be?" I asked.

"I have practice soon, but no. I have time."

"Is this how it's going to be?" I asked.

"What?"

"Super awkward."

He smiled and scooted next to me.

"Honest?"

"Always?"

"Yeah." He flashed a grin that made my stomach flip. "For a bit anyway."

He reached out and touched my knee; I tried hard to not flinch, but goose bumps popped up on my arms and legs.

I adjusted in my seat until my leg was no longer within touching distance. I needed him to stop touching me. He might be in love with someone else, but I came here all in. And since I couldn't have him, it would take me a minute to get normal around him.

He moved back a safe distance, always a gentleman. He downed the last of his bottle of water.

"Can I ask you a question?" he asked.

Oh, this can't be good.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I had it all worked out in my head how great this was going to be and now ..."

"I'm happy you're here. That's not what I was going to ask about."

"Oh."

"But since you brought it up. How did you want this to go? What did you want to happen?"

I stared in my lap and willed the tears to stay put.

I could profess my love to him and tell him to dump the blond chick and be with me, but that seemed kind of mean and selfish. I had no idea how he felt about Tiffany. I didn't want to know, but I cared.

"Honest?"

"Always."

"I loved FSU and part of the reason I love it so much is because of you."

He cocked his head and waited.

"I looked forward to hearing about what was happening on campus. I watched the games last year and remembered how much fun it was to be a part of this school and this campus. I missed out on so much because, well, you know. Not many people get a second chance and although I can't go completely crazy and be uber college student—that's not a good look for someone with a kid—I can do some of it."

The answer was honest enough. I sold it pretty well.

Jackson bit his upper lip and smiled. Maybe I didn't sell it as well as I thought I did.

"I never knew how much to tell you last year. I didn't want to make you feel like you were missing out."

"Oh, you didn't. It was the opposite, in fact. Before, I didn't think I could come back. You know financially. It was easier at home, but with Mr. Griffin helping out, I figured why not."

"I'm happy you’re here, and I'll be here for you as much as I can. You need a babysitter, I'm your guy."

"Actually, I have a babysitter."

"Oh, yeah."

"Kayla Griffin."

"What? I thought Kayla was in New York."

"She transferred here. We met when I was in Orlando last month and hit it off and she's an early education major. It kind of worked out. She's great."

"I only met her a few times, but she's cool."

"Yeah. I guess if she and I want to hang out, I'll take you up on that babysitting offer."

"Deal." He checked his phone again. "I have to get to practice, but I'll check on you later."

We walked to the front of the house.

"Jackson, you don't have to check on me or take care of me. I'm fine. I need you to be my friend?" I wanted to let Jackson off the hook. I didn’t want him to feel obligated to us.

"I am your friend, and I'm here for you."

"Thank you." I stood up on my toes, and he leaned down for me to kiss his cheek. Instead of straightening up and heading out the door, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest. I slid my hands up his arms and they stopped on his shoulders. He pulled me a little closer and my arms wrapped around his neck. It wasn't the type of hug you gave a friend. I'm sure Tiffany would not approve, but at that moment, I didn't care. 

"I missed you so much," Jackson whispered in my hair. He kissed the top of my head and let me go.

He left me standing in the hallway, trying to catch my breath as I watched him walk away back toward campus. He turned back and waved, and I raised my hand, but made no attempts to alter my gaze. I stared at his perfect body, the way the muscles in his back stood out, under his shirt. The way his waist tapered and his strong legs took long steps away from me.  I had watched him walk out of my life way too much.

I should have seduced him when I had the chance.

When he disappeared from sight, I closed the door and stood with my back to it. I inhaled; his scent lingered in the hallway. I closed my eyes and leaned by head against the door.

This was going to be harder than I thought.

J
ackson Latre Mitchell

Walking out of that house was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

I wanted so bad to pick her up, pin her against that door, and thank her for coming back by worshipping every inch of her. When she walked to the kitchen to get the water, I should have followed, told her no this wasn't weird, it wasn't awkward. I wanted her.

I headed to practice, but I couldn't concentrate. I got dressed and jogged to the field. I left my helmet and one of the trainers had to go get it. My timing was off, and I completed half of my passes. Always trying to make me look good, my receivers had to lay out for some and I cursed myself. It was too early in the season for me to get one of my guys hurt.

She had me off my game and my brain couldn't think of anything else except her face and her lips and the way she felt in my arms.

Coach called for a play during an eleven-on-eleven drill. The defense knew the play. I was so distracted, I didn't. I ran the ball when I was supposed to throw it, and a linebacker, thinking I was our running back, hit me square in the chest and I flew back five feet.

I saw his eyes before the hit. He tried to stop, but his momentum, along with his two hundred and fifty pounds, slammed into my chest.

It knocked the wind out of me, and I lay on the ground trying to catch my breath while half the team stood over me. Perry, the linebacker who laid me out, knelt beside me with a hand on my chest, pleading with me to get up. His future in this program depended on it.

I sat up and Perry breathed a sigh of relief and helped me up.

"Good hit, Perry." I smacked him in the chest.

"Thanks," he laughed and headed back into the huddle with the defense.

Usually, the coaches would be all over him because the defense had one rule during practice—don't touch the quarterback. Coach turned to me instead and told me to let the second string quarterback take some reps until I could get my ass in the game.

I wanted to tell him my ass was here; it was my brain that was somewhere else.

After practice, I showered and headed to the Student Union with my teammates. They laughed and joked around, but my mind was on Carrington. Every time the door opened, I hoped Carrington would walk in. I stared out into the quad looking for her.

I had a weird sense of deja vu. Two years ago, I used to look for her all over campus. I waited for those few moments when we could have a conversation. When she hooked up with Josh, I backed off. Besides, it got too hard seeing the two of them together.

When it went downhill, she needed someone to turn to. Josh was so messed up by the end and she was pregnant. I said I was doing it to protect her and the baby. It was only half true.

The truth was I waited around to pick up the pieces. 

My phone rang and I grabbed it so fast, I knocked a cup of soda off the table.

"Hello."

"Hey, baby. Where are you?" I sighed and removed the disappointment from my face before speaking.

"Hey, Tiff."

"You're at school. I thought you would be home for dinner."

"I'm sorry. I had dinner on campus with Jeff and Richard."

"Oh, okay. Well, I made you something. You can eat it tomorrow."

"Okay. Thanks."

"Are you going to be much longer?"

"Yeah, we're going to get a drink. Last first day of school and all." Jeff's face scrunched up, and I put my finger over my lips to make sure he didn't say anything. "Why don't you go on home, and I'll see you tomorrow. I won't be home until late."

"You don't want me to wait for you. We could do some celebrating ourselves."

"No. I don't want you to have to wait for me. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay," she said, but she was suspicious. I could hear it in her voice.

"’Night, Tiffany."

"Goodnight."

I hung up the phone. Jeff and Richard stared at me.

"What?"

"Lying to the girl already. That's not a good sign," Jeff said. Jeff Sherman was my running back. He stood five-foot-ten and weighed two hundred pounds. He redshirted last year, so this would be his first season as a starter. The kid came in eager and ready to learn, and I liked his work ethic. On the first day of spring practice, he asked me to work on hand-offs and play action routes, and we've been close ever since.

Richard Bledsoe was my wide receiver. We had been playing catch since freshman year. Part of the reason I stayed another year was to get Richard a championship. He had been hurt and didn't get to play in our last national championship game.

The three of us were inseparable, like any good QB-RB-WR tandem should be, and I was excited to see it translate to the field this year.

"Yeah, and who the hell celebrates the first day of school. Tiffany isn't the brightest girl, but she's not that stupid," Richard said.

"I know. I didn't want to deal with her tonight."

"Trouble in blond girl paradise."

Jeff always joked about Tiffany being the definitive blond chick. She embodied the stereotype, but she did it on purpose to get what she wanted. She was manipulative when it suited her.

I didn't mind Jeff cracking jokes about her because he had an affinity for blondes himself.

"No. Nothing like that. Tiffany's fine."

"She is so fucking fine, dude," Jeff said.

"She is a fine fuck, too," Richard said cracking up.

"Dude, how do you know?" Jeff asked. I smirked at Jeff. He was a black guy from Alabama but sounded like a surfer from California.

"When I passed out at his place last week, I heard her. ‘Oh Jack, fuck me Jack, that's it Jack, right there Jack.’" Richard thrashed his head from side to side.

"Dude, you're a freak," Jeff said.

"No, Tiffany is a freak," Richard said.

I grabbed my backpack and headed for the door. 

"Dude, too far, " Jeff said and hit Richard on the shoulder.

They both followed, yelling my name.

I stopped in the middle of the quad and waited for them to catch up.

"J, man, I'm sorry," Richard said.

"For what?"

"For talking about your girl like that." I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head. I wasn't sure what they had said, but I didn't care. They could talk about Tiffany all they wanted. They were right; the girl was fine. She was a great fuck. She was a freak in bed. They could have her for all I care.

I wanted Carrington.

#

C
arrington Olivia Butler

Of course, Jack woke up as soon as Jackson left. His screech filled the townhouse, but the sound wasn't as loud as the screeching in my heart.

Okay, I know. A bit dramatic, but I am pissed.

Not about how we left it. It could have been worse. It could have been better, too.

I picked Jack up and held him and calmed him down. I was the one who needed to calm down. He settled in my arms and fell back asleep. I carried him into the living room and sat on the couch. It smelled like Jackson. I wanted to cry.

My phone beeped.

Kayla: On my way home, you need anything?

Carrington:  The ability to do it all over again.

Kayla: ?

Carrington:  Never mind. I'll see you in the morning.

Five minutes later, I heard a loud knock at the door. I laid Jack on the floor and went to answer it.

"Hey. You okay?" Kayla asked. She stood at the door with her arms full of books.

I stepped to the side and let her in.

I wasn't sure how much to tell her. I hired her to look after my child, not to help me with my drama. I trusted her with my child; I guess I could trust her with my issues.

Although, she is a Griffin.

"I'm fine." I followed her as she dropped her bag on the overstuffed chair and sat down on the floor next to Jack.

"Hey, Jacky." He had woken up and pushed himself up and reached for her. They had become fast friends. 

"Kaya," he said, his version of Kayla. She hugged him and turned back to me.

"How was your first day?" she asked.

"It was fine. Weird, but fine."

"Why weird?"

"It's a long story."

"You want to order pizza or Chinese?"

"Kayla, you don't have to take care of me, too. Don't you have parties to go to or sororities to join? You know, be a normal college student."

"I could say the same thing to you."

"Oh, yeah, there are tons of college girls with crazy pasts and a kid. I'm a perfect role model for a female college student."