Hope Rekindled (15 page)

Deborah shook her head and came to sit beside Lizzie. “Only Darcy rode. I observed and counseled, but that isn’t important. What happened with Stuart?”

“I stood up to him. I waited for him out here and when Stuart concluded his business I cornered him about why he was here—why he was determined to make us suffer.”

“He wants to make you suffer for the sake of suffering.”

“And he’s accomplishing it,” Lizzie replied.

“Don’t allow him the upper hand, Lizzie. You know that he’s cruel and has proven himself to be underhanded in his business dealings. There is no shame in putting such a person from your life. No fault, either. The Bible says we are to resist the devil and he will flee from us.”

“Instead, I resisted and the devil hunted me down.”

Deborah put her arm around Lizzie’s shoulder. “Well, he may know where you are, but he cannot have you. You belong to God, and He will not tolerate this torment forever. God will not be mocked, and that is exactly what Stuart Albright is doing. He’s mocking God and seeking to harm those whom God loves. You’ll see. God’s hand will reach down and destroy Stuart and all he’s built for himself.”

Lizzie shrugged. “But you know as well as I do that evil men prosper all the time. Wickedness abounds and the weak suffer.”

“Yes, but we are not weak. We have Jesus and the armor of God. Remember those verses in Ephesians six that Pastor Shattuck spoke on several weeks ago? The armor of God will protect us. And above all, the Scriptures say, we need to take up the shield of faith in order to deflect the darts of the wicked. God has made provision for our protection. We simply need to trust Him.”

“When Stuart threatened the children, I found more strength than I knew I even had.”

“He threatened the twins?”

Lizzie nodded. “He threatened me, as well, but I told him if he ever so much as caused one of my children to scrape their knee, I’d have my father help Jael get her divorce.”

“You should let G.W. know that he threatened to do you all harm,” Deborah said. She looked away. “Stuart told Jael he’d hurt me if she tried to leave him. I should have said something sooner about it to G.W. and Arjan, but I was afraid of what kind of trouble it might stir up. Now, I know.”

It was Lizzie’s turn to offer comfort. “It wouldn’t matter, Deborah. Stuart is a cruel man. He will do his worst, but as you said—we have God’s protection. We must rest in that and trust Him to keep us from harm.”

“We must also be as wise as serpents, the Bible says.” Deborah gazed down the road. “That’s especially true when it’s a snake in the grass that’s threatening to bite.”

“He honestly thought he could just waltz in here and buy us out?” Arjan asked.

G.W. nodded. “That’s what he said. Said he knew we had to be gettin’ desperate. He has no right to know anything about our business, but apparently he has his sources.”

Deborah left the room and discussion in order to find Christopher. She had promised her mother she would speak with him about her fears. Something deep within her mind warned her to remain silent, however. She loved this man, and surely she would love his children.

“I can be a good wife and mother,” she murmured. “I know I can. I’ve always been able to do whatever I set my mind to.”

Christopher was outside talking to Jimmy and Tommy. The boys had come back with Uncle Arjan, full of stories and excitement. She held back, not wanting to disrupt their obvious enjoyment of the evening.

Mother had taken Jonah and Emma with her to work in the garden, and Darcy was mucking out stalls in the barn. Deborah decided a walk might do her better for the moment. She needed to understand her own heart. After all, how could she talk to Christopher about her fears when she wasn’t even willing to face them herself?

She slipped down the stairs and headed off toward the woods. There was still enough light, and perhaps Deborah could spend that time in prayer. She thought of the words she’d just shared with Lizzie.

“Here I am again. Why can’t I follow my own advice? Why can I speak of hope and safety in God to others, but not grasp it for myself?”

Gazing heavenward, Deborah looked up through the boughs of a longleaf pine and sighed. There was such beauty here. Such peace. Why could she not find it within?

Father, I don’t know what to do. I love Christopher and want to marry him, but I’m afraid.
She startled at the thought. Was it merely fear that kept her from feeling at ease—from taking delight in the idea of marriage and motherhood?

W
ith Christopher away on a medical call, Deborah took the opportunity to ride into town with Arjan and G.W. the next day. They had decided to see Zed Perkins and discuss the situation with Stuart Albright. Deborah wanted to check in with Mara to see if Jael had sent a letter. She hurried to the preacher’s house and found Mara eager for a visit.

“I had a letter from Rob. He plans to come home at the end of this month and stay for several weeks. I’d like to surprise him with a party for his twenty-fifth birthday.

“I think it would be great fun.”

Deborah took off her straw bonnet. “I think that would be wonderful. Mother would be thrilled to have you come by the house to discuss it.” Deborah glanced around the house and lowered her voice. “We can certainly talk more about the birthday plans, but I was wondering if you’d heard from Jael.”

“I have.” Mara hurried to a small desk across the room. She slid open a drawer and removed a piece of folded paper. “She gave me this just this morning. I was planning to give it to you at church tomorrow.”

Deborah took the paper and opened it. She scanned the lines and shook her head. “Stuart plans to move Jael on Monday. He’s making her stay with her father in Houston so that she won’t have any opportunity to be around me.” She looked up at Mara. “She says we must speak before she leaves.”

“How will you arrange it?” Mara questioned, then answered before Deborah could speak. “I could invite her here.”

“No. Stuart might insist on coming, too.” Deborah considered the problem for a moment, then tapped the side of her temple. “G.W. and Arjan are visiting Mr. Perkins at this very moment. They are discussing business. It would be quite appropriate for them to include Mr. Albright. Let me go speak with them and see if they would do this for me.”

Mara followed her to the door. Deborah stuffed the paper in her reticule and then re-affixed her bonnet. “Pray that this works,” she told Mara before leaving.

“I’ll fetch him right away,” Zed told Deborah. “I’ll say it’s urgent and cannot wait.”

“Thank you so much, Mr. Perkins. I can’t tell you what this means to me.” Deborah turned to her stepfather and brother. “Thank you, as well. I know his company is not desired.”

“That’s all right, Deborah. A discussion between us all is needed,” Arjan assured her. “This is the perfect excuse.”

“I’ll take the long way around to their house. I can slip in right after you and Stuart head back here,” she said, nodding at Mr. Perkins, who was already reaching for his hat.

Once outside, Deborah lost little time. She hiked her skirt just enough to give her legs the freedom she needed, then half walked, half ran to the northern edge of the town. She hurried toward the railroad tracks, doing her best to keep careful watch down the open roads for Mr. Perkins and Stuart. At one point, she heard them before seeing them and barely managed to dart behind one of the houses as they passed along the road just to the south.

With Stuart on his way to meet with the men, Deborah picked up her pace. She didn’t hesitate before knocking on the door. To her surprise, it opened right away and Jael stood in welcome. “Come in quickly. Mr. Perkins managed to tell me what was happening.”

The two women embraced briefly before Jael closed the door. “Essie is gone for the morning. We’re alone. Stuart was quite angry to be disturbed. I doubt he’ll stay long.”

“Then we must hurry,” Deborah declared. “Your letter said it was urgent we speak.”

Jael nodded. She looked gaunt and pale. “Stuart is forcing me to go to Houston. He wants me to stay with my father until he can arrange a house for me. Oh, Deborah! Stuart is acting so strangely. I came across some letters he received, and I believe he has someone at the bank who is giving him information on your family. When advised that money appeared in Vandermark Logging’s account, he ranted around here like I’ve never before seen. I’m not sure what he plans.”

“Oh, Jael, I am so sorry. Are you sure you wouldn’t want to come back to the house with me?”

The young woman shook her head. “That would only make him angrier. I am, after all, his wife.” She frowned and looked away. “And there’s another thing. I think I might be with child.”

Too stunned to speak, Deborah waited until Jael turned back to face her. “I don’t want to be. Please don’t think badly of me, but I asked Stuart for a divorce and he refused. If I’m carrying his child, there will be no possibility that he’ll change his mind. What will I do?”

The hopelessness in her voice caused Deborah to reach out and take her in her arms. Holding Jael close, Deborah let her friend cry. Nothing she could say or do would make this better.

Jael suddenly pulled away. “There isn’t time for this. Stuart told me he wasn’t about to stay for long. He’ll be back before we know it. Deborah, I feel so desperate.”

“Go to your father. He loves you and will keep you safe. Tell him what is happening between you and Stuart.”

“I can’t. If I do, Stuart has threatened to tell Father about my indiscretion with Ernest Remington and pregnancy prior to our marriage.”

“What if he does? It’s in the past, Jael. Your father will not hate you. The family name wasn’t dragged through another scandal. He will see your sacrifice and hopefully feel bad for it.”

Jael considered this for a moment. “He might at that.” She wiped her tears. “But if he doesn’t . . .”

“Why would he not? I think he’s endured enough of Stuart to know what kind of man he’s dealing with. If you are the one to tell your father, then Stuart loses his power over you. He’s convinced you won’t be truthful—that you’re too afraid of the consequences. I, on the other hand, know you to be quite strong and capable. The truth will set you free, just as the Bible states.”

“I fear Stuart, Deborah. I fear what he might be capable of doing to . . . you. He’s already tormenting your family.”

“Don’t you fret over us. God is our stronghold. Stuart has caused problems to be sure, but our hope is in the Lord.”

“I wish I knew more about such things. My family was never all that religious.”

“You don’t have to be religious. Just know that God loves you—that He gave His Son, Jesus, to die for you. He wants to be there for you—to comfort you and encourage you. Trust Him, Jael. He will be faithful to you.”

Her friend shook her head. “I don’t know how God can help in this when Stuart is so very evil.”

Deborah touched Jael’s shoulder. “God is more powerful than the devil. He may have allowed him a certain amount of control over this world, but God will defeat Satan when all is said and done. We need only to stand fast. Don’t be afraid to put your confidence in Him, Jael.”

They both startled at the sound of footsteps on the porch. Jael grabbed Deborah. “The back door—hurry!”

They fled through the house and into the kitchen. “God be with you, Jael,” Deborah said, giving her friend a quick embrace. “Write to me through Mara.”

“I will. I promise.”

Deborah heard Stuart bellowing his wife’s name as she hurried out the back door. She ran from the house, turning to dodge behind one of the other houses and a small stand of trees. Deborah felt the pounding of her heart and paused a moment to settle herself. There was no sense in returning to her family in a panic.

She was focused on heading to Zed Perkins’s house when she saw that Christopher’s door was open. He was back. She knew he planned to come out to the house that evening, but she wanted to have some time alone with him first. Speaking with Jael about talking to her father made Deborah realize that facing her fears was the best advice she could give herself. It was time to be honest with Christopher—to explain her concerns, even if she wasn’t entirely sure what they meant. Making her way across the road, Deborah knocked on the examination room door and opened it.

“Christopher?”

He looked up from restocking supplies in his bag. “What a pleasant surprise.”

“I came into town with G.W. and Arjan. They’re with Mr. Perkins. I wondered if we might talk.”

Christopher came to her. “What’s wrong?”

Deborah closed the door and leaned against it. “Why do you never ask me to join you on your medical calls?”

“What are you talking about? I didn’t ask because . . . well, I presumed there was more than enough work to be done, what with my brothers and sisters at your place.”

“And does that mean you expect me to remain there to take care of them?”

Christopher looked uncomfortable. “I . . . uh . . . well, I don’t know what I expected. You know how worried I’ve been, trying to determine how I can provide for them. It’s my responsibility.”

Deborah felt sorry for him. “Christopher, my mother loves having the children there. This is something she has taken on and enjoys.”

“And you want no part of it?”

“I didn’t say that,” she quickly countered.

Christopher reached for her hand. “I’m sorry if you felt slighted. I don’t seem to be able to do anything right these days.”

“Nonsense. It’s not about me feeling slighted.” Deborah drew a deep breath. “Christopher, I want to be a physician. I love medicine—you know that. I love you, as well. I just need to know that I can manage both at the same time.”

“Why would that be difficult?”

“Children.” She felt her chest tighten. “Ever since you returned home with the children, you’ve not asked me even once to accompany you. In fact, you’ve hardly said much of anything to me.”

She could see the regret in his expression and held up her hand. “I didn’t say these things so that you would apologize. I am saying this because it will affect our life together. If you expect me to stay at home and care for your brothers and sisters, then I can hardly be out there assisting you.”

Christopher pulled up a stool and sat. “And what about after we’re married?”

“I understand that your siblings will be a part of our future. They must have a home and care—especially the younger ones. In the fall, however, school will start and they will be busy with that.”

“I see. And what about any children we might have?”

Deborah straightened her shoulders and tried to firm up her determination, but to her surprise, she broke into sobs. Knowing she’d completely ruined any chance to explain this without emotion, she buried her face in her hands.

Without a word, Christopher pulled her close. Deborah hated the way she was acting. How could she hope for him to take her seriously about helping him when she couldn’t even discuss this openly without tears?

After a few moments, Christopher lifted her face to his. “Deborah, are you trying to tell me that you don’t want my children—our children?”

“I . . . I . . . don’t know.” She gasped for breath. “I love you. I know I . . . would . . . love our children. I . . . oh, I don’t know what I’m . . . trying to say.” She tried to pull away, but he held her fast.

“Deborah, calm down and listen to me. You can’t turn away from me. We have to talk about this.”

“I know.” She drew a deep breath and tried her best to settle her nerves. “I’m so sorry. This has been troubling me for so long now.”

Christopher looked at her oddly. “You’ve held this in all along while planning the wedding?”

She felt horrible. Nodding, she reached out to him. “I’m sorry. I was wrong. I was swept away in my desires and dreams. You’re the reason I love medicine. I love you, Christopher. I don’t want to lose you.”