Hope(less) (14 page)

Rachel smiled and tried to reassure me by saying, “If he
hits on you, then it wasn’t meant to be.  Don’t worry so much.”  She pulled me off
the bed and I reluctantly followed with Clay close behind.

Peter, a pleasant looking man with light blonde hair and blue
eyes, stood when we walked into the living room.  Standing an inch shorter than
Rachel, he seemed her polar opposite.  He smiled at Rachel, having eyes only
for her.  I sagged with relief.

“Peter, this is Gabby.  Gabby, this is Peter.  He’s going to
med school.  I bumped into him in the library last week.  Peter, why don’t you
tell her about Scott, while I go get dressed?”

Rachel left the room in a rush probably so I couldn’t
retreat myself.  I smothered a grin watching Peter’s gaze follow Rachel from the
room.  It took him a moment to collect himself.

“Nice to meet you, Gabby.”

“You too.  Want to sit?”  I motioned him back to the couch,
and took the single chair for myself.  Clay settled himself on the floor
between us.  “This is Clay.”

“He’s huge,” Peter said, appearing to notice Clay for the
first time.

A huge pain in the butt
, I thought without any
malice.  “Yeah,” I said instead.  “So, who’s Scott?”

“Oh, a friend of mine,” Peter said looking up from Clay.  “He’s
also in med school.  We had plans to go to O’Donell’s tonight for dinner and a
drink or two.  Then, I ran into Rachel and invited her with.  We thought it’d
be more fun if you could join us.”

Rachel waltzed back into the room at that moment.  Amazingly,
she had already changed into a skirt and complimenting silky top.  Hearing Peter’s
last comment she said, “Of course you will, won’t you, Gabby?”

Cornered by two love struck fools who probably wouldn’t even
notice if I went with or not if it weren’t for the third wheel Scott, I agreed. 
“Sure, but I need to be home early enough to let Clay out.”  A lame excuse, but
I needed to prep the idea now so I would have an out later.  A public
restaurant… this wouldn’t be enjoyable.

“I’m sure he’ll be fine for that little while.” Rachel waved
her hand dismissively at Clay.  Clay huffed, but she didn’t notice.  Instead,
she shooed me toward my room saying, “Go get dressed.”

I stood to go to my room, but Clay leapt to his feet in
front of me.  I stepped to the right to go around him, but he mirrored my move.

Rachel laughed from behind me.  “Come here Clay,” she called
cajolingly.  “Come here and let Gabby get ready.”  She squatted down and patted
her leg.

I’d seen her do this a few times before and Clay usually,
grudgingly responded.  Not this time though.  He kept his gaze focused on mine
and copied my feinted attempts to get around him.

“I’ve never seen him act like this,” Rachel commented to
Peter.

I kept my narrowed gaze on Clay.

“I’m surprised you have such a wild looking dog.  It seems
too big compared to the house and the two of you.”  Peter eyed Clay warily.

Giving up, I dropped to my knees and wrapped my arms around
his thick neck pretending to hug him so I could whisper to him.  “I’m not crazy
about the idea either, but you have to let me go, and stop acting weird.”

I stood and scratched him behind the ear as a pet owner
would do.  “Ready to be good Clay?”  He turned and trotted into my room.  Nope,
not ready to be good.

Rachel laughed again.  She knew I usually kicked him out
when I wanted to change and had teased me about it already.  I’d pointed out
she wouldn’t know how awkward it felt because he never tried to watch her
change, but she’d only continued to tease me.

Resolutely, I followed Clay into my room and closed the
door.  I could just barely hear Peter and Rachel talking as they waited for me.
 Clay sat on my bed, as usual, watching me intently.

I folded my arms, and whispered, “I am not changing in front
of you.”  He just settled down onto my comforter and continued to watch me with
an eerie canine smile.  “Fine.  I’ll change in the bathroom.”

I went to my closet and started looking at my clothes
already knowing very few things in there compared to the style Rachel wore. 
The skirt I bought a few weeks ago would look nice, but would scream ‘come hit
on me’.  Biting my lip, I reached for the skirt.  Clay started growling
fiercely behind me.

“Zip it,” I mumbled and grabbed a fitted cowl neck top with
three-quarter sleeves.  One of the dressier tops I owned.

Clay started barking, a deep menacing bark that raised the
little hairs on the back of my neck.  I spun toward him saying, “What the hell
Clay!  Cut it out.”  I knew he didn’t like that, because he got louder.

Rachel burst in without knocking and Peter followed right
behind her.  “What’s wrong?”  She looked at Clay, who continued to bark at me.

If possible, he grew even louder and I had to yell over
him.  “Nothing.  Just give me a few minutes to calm him down okay?”  I walked
to Clay with the clothes still under one arm and he growled at me.  I faltered,
eyeing him with a growing hint of fear.

“Uh, I’m not so sure you should do that right now,” Peter
cautioned, concern on his face.

Clay turned and started barking at Peter.

“Enough!”  I shouted, getting seriously angry.  My voice
echoed in the small room apparently taking Clay by surprise because the noise
stopped.  However, his attitude hadn’t changed.  Teeth still exposed in fierce
snarl, his glared at all of us.  At least he’d finished barking and growling. 
For the moment.

I turned toward Peter and Rachel.  Wanting them to leave, I
said, “I’m fine.  Thank you.  Just give me a few minutes to change.”

They left the room, shutting the door behind them, after
sharing a glance.

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath.  Without trying, I
could “see” Clay in a painful burst of light.  A first.  My other vision
usually required an amount of focus.  Whatever his issue, it still affected him.

With a sigh, I opened my eyes and turned to him.  He looked
seriously pissed.

“Will you bite me if I sit next to you Clay?” I asked him
quietly.  He snorted and I watched the silent snarl ease from his muzzle.  His hackles
slowly laid flat.  He’d been up on all fours at the end of my bed, but when he
settled on his hunches, I knew he’d calmed down and sat next to him, facing the
door.

“You know, I don’t understand dog right?”  I turned my head
to meet his gaze, our faces close together, with him looking down at me.  “It’d
be so much easier to know what was wrong if you just told me.”

He let out a gusty sigh and bent his head to nudge the clothes
I still held.

“You don’t like the clothes or that I’m going out?”  I was
watching his face trying to figure out what he was getting at.  He actually
bobbed his head yes.  “You don’t like both?”  He lowered himself down onto the
mattress and watched me with his sad puppy eyes, not trying to communicate
further.  “You’re really frustrating me, Clay.”  I moved to get up and he
growled again.

“Now, hold on…”  I did get up, but spun with my hands on my
hips to look him in the eye, and whispered fiercely, “I’m trying here Clay and
you’re not.  So stop growling at me, got it?  And so what if I go out?  Do you
trust me so little?  Have you not been paying attention?  I’m not comfortable
around guys.  It’s not as if I’m going to go out tonight and come back with a
boyfriend or something.  So, just chill out about your claim, alright?”

He quietly growled at me, now giving me his dog-eyed glare. 
In his mind, he and I shared a tie.  I knew that.  I also knew from a werewolf
standpoint, in a strongly tied pair, the male often acted in an extremely
possessive manner.  If other unmated males came near before the claim is
completed, there was usually a fight.  Sometimes to the death.

“But we’re not talking unmated males,” I whispered to him
thinking aloud.  “They’re just men.”

He chuffed out his canine laugh and hopped from the bed to
walk toward me.  I couldn’t help it, after all that barking and growling, I stepped
back from him.  His sides heaved a sigh and he stopped advancing.

“Sorry,” I mumbled knowing the fear I felt would disappoint
him.  He’d done nothing but try to communicate why he didn’t want me to go out
tonight.  Granted his methods of communication could use improvement.

“Let me think Clay.”  I sat on the edge of the bed while he remained
on the floor, standing tall, watching me.  I still didn’t understand what
continued to bother him.  The date wasn’t with a werewolf.  I had no interest
in the person.  I only wanted to go as a favor to Rachel.  And the clothes were
the only ‘going out’ clothes I had.

“Can we compromise?  I don’t want to be spending the entire
year sitting at home with a possessive dog who won’t talk to me…”  Yeah, that
sounded weird.  “What if we went somewhere dog friendly?  There’s a bar with
cute little bistro tables on the sidewalk.  If you’re on your leash, you could
come.”

He stood, turning around so he faced away from me and sat
again.

“Is that a yes?” I whispered leaning to the side in an
attempt to see his face.  He didn’t move.

“I’m taking that as a yes.  If you turn around while I’m
changing I’m going to have you neutered.”  He just laughed again, so I hurried
into my skirt and switched my t-shirt for the fitted top.

As my head cleared the neckline, I met his eyes in the
mirror.  Thank the stars I hadn’t changed any underthings.  “Hope it was worth
it,” I said.  “You’re on the couch tonight.”

Rachel and Peter sat on the couch talking when I walked out
of my room.  “All set, but can we change our plans?  I think Clay was freaking
out because he knows we’re leaving.  He’s been left alone so much this week.” 
Rachel predictably made soothing noises and went to cuddle Clay, which he
tolerated with as much dignity as a man in fur and a collar can muster.  “What
if we went to that bar with the bistro tables that you were telling me about?”

Rachel leapt at the idea, “That’d be perfect.  It’s still
nice enough out.  Besides, I think this is the last week they do the outdoor
dining.  We should go before it’s closed for the season.”

But Peter stalled, asking, “Are you sure he will be okay? 
He looked pretty aggressive in there.”

Rachel stopped petting Clay to look back at Peter, “He’s
never done that before.  I think Gabby might be right.  We’ve been leaving him
alone a lot.  I even forgot to let him out this morning before I left.”

Peter looked adoringly at Rachel and I knew we’d be going to
the bistro bar.  “Let me grab my shoes.  I’ll follow you guys in my car just in
case I need to leave early.”

“I’ll let Clay out.”  Rachel got up and walked to the back
door calling for Clay to follow.

Clay in turn looked imploringly at me.

After what he just pulled, I had no pity.  “You know the
drill.  Go do dog business.”

He left the room without a backward look.  I went to the
hall closet to search for my black flip-flops, the best footwear I had to offer
the outfit, and grabbed a light jacket for when the sun went down and the
temperature dropped.

“You talk to him like he’s a person,” Peter noted.

“I tease her for it all the time,” Rachel remarked, smiling
as she walked in from the kitchen to join us.  “You should hear her scolding
him at night for taking up too much room on the bed.”

Annoyingly, I started to blush.  “Well, he’s huge,” I said
in my defense, slipping my feet into the plain flip-flops, and made my way into
the kitchen to grab my keys.  “Most the time I have to sleep curled up.  But
I’m sure I’ll appreciate him more in winter.”

Clay already sat in the passenger seat when I went out the back
door, which meant he’d switched into his skin to open the car door.  “You’re
going to be seen doing stuff a dog shouldn’t do.  That or someone’s going to
call the cops because a naked man keeps popping up in my backyard.”  He didn’t
laugh this time so I looked at him closely while I started the car.  “You
okay?”

Clay met my eyes and I wished that I could read him better. 
I couldn’t tell what bothered him now.

As I backed out of the driveway, I laid down the rules.  “No
growling, no biting, no barking.  Pretty much no anything, but acting like a
passive well behaved dog.”

Peter drove a red compact.  I followed him through traffic
with ease as I continued to lecture Clay.  “I’m really nervous about this and
don’t want to worry about you too.”  I sighed and started doubting my decision.
 Although Clay had witnessed how the guy who sold me the car had acted, he didn’t
know how guys acted around me in general.  Maybe this wasn’t a good idea.  He
would flip out when someone started hitting on me.

“Clay, you should know… men make me uncomfortable because of
the way they act around me.  They usually start flirting or ask me on a date. 
Most girls would be flattered by it, but if you really pay attention, there’s
something unnatural about it.  It’s like they can’t help themselves.  And sometimes,
after I’ve told them ‘No’ enough, they walk away with…”  I groped for the right
word, but came up blank.  He’d remained focused on me as I spoke to him.  “I
don’t know.  A look.  Like they’d been caught doing something they were ashamed
of.  I just want to try for normal tonight, okay?  It will be hard enough being
in a public place… you’ll see.  I just need to know you’re not going to make it
any harder on me.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him turn to look out the
window and reached over to pet him.

Increasingly, I caught myself touching him as if he were a
dog.  If I didn’t think about him as a guy, petting him comforted me.

“Does it bother you when I pet you?” I asked keeping my eyes
on the road.  I knew his answer when he contorted his large body to lay down
with his head against my leg so I could reach him better.  I laughed, feeling
lighter than I had in a long while.  “Okay.  If I start annoying you with it,
just move away.  I promise I won’t pester you.”