Hope(less) (12 page)

I heard a creak of leather and knew that Sam had sat in his
office chair, getting comfortable for a long conversation.  “Right…” I started
to say.

“Listen, this isn’t so bad.  With him there, you won’t need
to worry as much about other guys, right?”

“Yeah, but what about him?”  I went to my dresser to start
looking for clothes with one hand.

“I told you, he’s got control.  You won’t have to worry
about him becoming aggressive with you.”

Before I could say anything, Rachel’s muted voice called
from the kitchen.  “Hey, Gabby!”

“I gotta go.  Just wanted to tell you what was going on,” I
spoke quickly.  “I’ll call if anything stranger pops up.”  I didn’t wait for
his good bye.  Closing the phone, I tucked it back into one of my messenger
bags on my dresser and quickly changed.

Dressed in lounge pants and a tank top, I opened the door
walking toward her voice.  “What’s up?”

“Do you think I can feed him leftover steak?” she said
sounding slightly muffled.

Bent at the waist, Rachel riffled through the fridge.  Clay
sat off to the side with a perfect view of her exposed string bikini bottomed backside,
only he wasn’t looking.  He sat facing the arched door watching for me.  Should
I be happy that he’d ignored the perfect view, or annoyed?  Instead of thinking
about it, I answered Rachel.

“I’m pretty sure people food is bad for dogs.”  Yes, I knew it
wasn’t nice, but if he wanted to play the dog, I’d play along.  “We can pick up
some dog food for him in the morning.  He’ll be fine overnight.”

I sat at the kitchen table, pulling my legs up and holding
my knees, watching Rachel straighten from the fridge and let the door close. 
She turned to look at Clay with concern, but Clay ignored her and continued to
watch me.

My stomach growled.  Ignoring him, I spoke to Rachel.  “But
dinner does sound good.  I should have thought of groceries while we were
shopping.”

“No problem.  I forgot to tell you during the grand tour,”
she smiled and looking at me, waved her arms to encompass the house, saying,
“that there’s a cupboard over there that you can stock and call your own.  The
top shelf in the fridge is mine.  But don’t worry about it for tonight.  I was
lazy yesterday and ordered take-out pizza.  There’s still plenty if you don’t
mind leftovers.”

“That’s fine with me.”  My stomach rumbled in agreement.

“We’ve got cheap plastic plates in the cupboard to the left
of the sink, inherited from a prior roommate.  Grab two, will you?” she said as
she re-opened the fridge.

Unfolding myself from the chair while Rachel pulled the
pizza from the fridge, I moved to grab the plates.  Clay laid down where he sat
and set his massive head on his paws.  I could see his eyes move to follow my
progress.

Rachel chatted about our neighbors and the university while
we warmed the pizza in the microwave.  “What kind of movies do you like?” she
asked changing topics abruptly once both plates held steaming pizza.

I had to think about it for a moment.  “Action-comedy I
guess.  I don’t watch movies often.”

She handed me a plate piled with pizza.  “Let’s eat this in
the living room and watch a movie,” she suggested.

Clay stood and walked toward the living room before either
of us moved.  When he passed through the arch, he only had two inches of
clearance on each side.  I wondered if his fur made up his bulk, not that it
mattered.  Our tiny house didn’t suit a dog his size.

Rachel laughed, “I think he’s going to just fit right in.”

She had no idea how much he didn’t fit in.  I turned off the
light in the kitchen and followed them into the living room carrying my pizza
and glass of water.  Clay settled on the floor stretching out in front of the
couch, forcing us to step over him.  Rachel sat on one side and I comfortably
took the other.

The movie Rachel selected not only held my interest, but it
seemed to hold Clay’s as well.  I ate two of the three pieces of pizza Rachel
put on my plate and set the remaining piece aside.  During a quiet moment, Clay
stood to stretch and turned to study my pizza, which Rachel noticed.

“Just one bite?” Rachel begged.

I wasn’t about to make living with us easy for him.  “If
he’s never eaten it before, he might throw up.  Are you willing to clean it
up?  I’m not,” I challenged her with an arched brow.

She pouted prettily, not really upset.  Her easygoing
personality allowed me to speak without too much censor.  A few minutes later, I
caught her breaking off small pieces and setting them on the edge of her
plate.  Clay turned around innocently and snatched the pieces.

“Fine,” I said when the movie ended, “Give him the steak.”

Rachel cheered and hopped off the couch, calling to Clay as
she went to the kitchen.  He looked at me dolefully and followed her.

“Your choice, bud.  Not mine,” I whispered knowing he’d hear
me over Rachel’s puttering as she heated the steak for him.

I grabbed my plate and cup, making my way to the kitchen to
quickly wash and dry them.  “Thanks for the shopping and movie Rachel.  And the
leftovers,” I added.  “You’ve made this feel like home in less than a day.”  I
quirked a half-smile at her, “but I’m beat and going to bed.  See you in the
morning.”

Before leaving the kitchen, I looked back to make sure Clay didn’t
follow.  He sat near Rachel watching me leave.  Quickly looking away, I escaped
to my room.  The last thing I needed was for him to think that backward glance
had been an invitation to join me.

Odd as it sounded, having Clay in the house made it easier for
me to fall asleep.  Although still a stranger to me, I knew his world and his
rules.  He’d keep me safe.  Regardless of Sam’s assurance that I needn’t worry
about him, he remained a concern.

*    *    *    *

The next morning I woke feeling great.  Sleeping on a full-size
bed definitely beat sleeping on a twin.  I didn’t think I would ever be able to
go back.  The new comforter had done a better job keeping in the heat than my
old one.  My feet felt nice and toasty.

I stretched my legs from their curled position and hit
something warm and solid through the covers.  No… he wouldn’t.  Sitting up, I
glared at Clay who stretched out contentedly at the end of my bed already awake
and watching me.

“No,” I whispered.  “No dogs allowed on my bed.”  He snorted
out a sigh and laid his head down closing his eyes.  “Seriously, Clay.  Don’t
you think this is just a little inappropriate?”

He didn’t move.

“Fine.”  I used my feet to try to push him off the bed, but
he didn’t budge.  Leaning back, I braced my hands on the wall and pushed harder,
straining to move his stubborn irritating fur from my new comforter.

He still didn’t move, but did open one eye to look at me.

I gave up and glared back.  “If you shed all over my
comforter, I’m locking my door at night.”  I tossed back the covers and got out
of bed.  “With an eyehook,” I added for good measure.

He wisely didn’t follow me as I made my way to the
bathroom.  Rachel already moved around in the kitchen making coffee.  “Are you
a coffee drinker?” she called to me.

With a mouthful of toothpaste, I had to spit before calling
back, “No.  More of a milk or orange juice person.”  I finished up in the
bathroom and joined her in the kitchen, noticing her scrubs.  “Going to work?”
I asked sitting on a kitchen chair and pulling my feet up from the cool floor.

“Yep.  Sorry to leave you on your own so soon.  I’ll be back
around five.  If you need anything, just call my cell.  If I don’t answer,
leave a message and I’ll get back to you.”  She filled a travel mug with the
coffee she made and rinsed out the pot.  “Oh, when I went to bed Clay whined at
your door so I let him in.  Hope that was okay…”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” I agreed.  What else was I supposed to
say without sounding weird or bitchy?  Inspiration to pay him back for his
sneaky method struck.  “Did you think of taking him to a vet at all?”

Rachel paused mid-rinse.  “Oh, I hadn’t, but you’re right.  He
should probably go if we’re going to have him in the house with us.  I’ll call
around and make an appointment.  I should check into getting him licensed too. 
Ugh.  Getting him shots is probably going to cost a fortune.”  She looked at me
pleadingly.

Darn idea to get back at him would cost me money.  “Yeah,
I’ll go in halves.”  I got up and started back toward my room.

“Great.  Talk to you tonight,” she called as she went out
the back door, closing it behind her.

Clay still lay on my bed, taking up the full width with his
back paws folded in toward his stomach so they wouldn’t fall off.  I stood in
the doorway studying him while he watched me.  Alone in the house together, we
needed to set some rules.

Once the sound of Rachel’s car faded, I said, “First, I’d
like to clarify that this does not qualify as getting to know each other. 
Second, you smell like wet dog.  If you want to continue sleeping in my room,
on my bed, you’ll let Rachel give you bath when she gets home.”  He snorted at
that, but didn’t get off the bed.  “Third, once I’m awake, you get out.  I know
what you are and I am not changing in front of you.”

He outright harrumphed at that one and I swore I saw a
canine smile.  But he did hop down from the bed and left the room with quiet
dignity.

I closed the door behind him and remade the bed, thankful he
didn’t appear to shed, and grabbed some clothes for the day.  I had two goals. 
First, I needed to figure out how long it would take me to walk to the campus
from here.  Then I needed to learn the bus schedule for the days I ran late, or
the temperature prevented the long walk.  If worst came to worst, I’d buy a
beater car to drive.

Opening the door, I was slightly startled to see Clay
sitting there patiently waiting for me.  “What are you doing?”  I eyed him
warily, walking past him.  I went to the kitchen to grab the house key from the
counter.  Clay’s nails clicked on the floor as he followed me to the door. 
“I’m going for a walk and you’re staying here,” I clarified when he made to
follow me outside.

Clay growled slightly in response.

His deep growl gave me pause.  He sounded scary.  “Please
don’t do that.  Unless you really are trying to scare me.”  His fur continued
to bristle, but his growl stopped.  Our relationship wouldn’t go anywhere if he
thought he could bully and maneuver to his way of thinking.  “And don’t crab at
me.  I’m not the unlicensed dog without a leash.  “Do you want me to talk
Rachel into buying a pink collar for you?”

He coughed out a strangled bark before turning and walking
back to the living room.  “See you later,” I called out feeling a little smug.

Walking to campus took about forty minutes.  After checking
the bus schedule and stops, I knew I’d be buying a car before winter.  The
distance and the number of catcalls I’d received just walking to the campus made
buying the car a necessity.  A necessity that would put a significant dent in
my savings.

On the way back, I stopped at a gas station combination
grocery store to pick up some essentials.  Browsing, I found a new bar of soap,
an extra toothbrush, dog food, and groceries for the week.

Struggling with the bags, it took forever to reach the
house.  When I finally got there, my arms ached.  Next time I needed to
remember one of my messenger bags.  It made carrying things so much easier.  Walking
around to the back of the house, I saw Clay lying on the deck sunning himself.

“Nice to know you can let yourself out,” I said walking past
him to nudge open the door, kicking it closed behind me.  Putting the bags on
the table, I began to unpack.

After a sharp bark from outside, I grudgingly turned to let
Clay in, closing the door behind him.

“What?  Can’t let yourself back in?”  I reached in one of
the bags on the table.  “Look what I got you?” I said pulling out a small bag
of dog food.

Clay growled again, but without menace.  I set the bag on
the floor next to the bowl of water Rachel had set out for him before leaving.

“You want to look like a normal dog don’t you?  Well, as
normal as a dog your size can look anyway.”  I continued unpacking the bags
leaving the soap and toothbrush for last.  “These are for you.  You have two
choices.  You can use them when Rachel’s gone, or you can wait until she’s back
and I’m sure she’d be happy to help you.”

He studied me for a moment before walking out of the kitchen
turning toward the bathroom.  I followed a few steps behind.

A startled yelp escaped me when I rounded the corner and
caught sight of a naked backside.  Without much thought, I tossed the soap and
toothbrush in and slammed the door shut.  “You could have waited until I put
the stuff in there,” I complained through the door, my heart thundering loudly
in my ears.  I heard the water turn on, the clink of his dog tag hitting the
sink and the shower curtain move.

Who would have thought he even knew how to use a shower?  I
hadn’t.  On the way home, I’d starting thinking of all the different things I
needed to explain, like making sure to position the curtain inside the tub. 
Standing outside the door still reeling from the view I’d gotten, I realized I
might get it again if I didn’t get him a towel.

I’d packed two bath towels when I moved here.  Both purchased
from a discount store, they sported gaudy floral designs.  I grabbed one and
waited outside the door again until I heard him splashing in the shower.  I
knocked.

“I have a towel for you,” I said through the door.  “If
you’re still in the shower, I’ll just open the door to toss it on the toilet
seat.  Okay?”  I didn’t hear anything.  Not surprising.  “Okay, I’m coming
in.”  I waited a moment for any indication that I shouldn’t enter.  When the
water continued to run, I cautiously opened the door and tossed the towel in as
soon as I saw a clear path to the toilet seat.