Hope(less) (22 page)

On Tuesdays, my first class started later.  It gave me time
to catch up on things around the house.  After falling behind on laundry once,
I made a point to wash at least one load each Tuesday.

Clay padded softly behind me, following me down into the
basement.  Carrying a basket of our combined clothes, I teased him that the
discount detergent I’d purchased smelled like babies… not very manly.  He chuffed
out a laugh and watched me fill the machine.  Nothing I did seemed very
exciting to me, but he followed me as faithfully as a real dog would.

After I finished, he trailed behind me as I skipped back up
the stairs.  Closing the basement door behind us, I silenced the whir of the
washer.

Absently talking to Clay about what we’d covered in my classes
so far, I moved to the bedroom and pulled the sheets from my bed to start
making a pile for the next load.  He sat off to the side, out of the way, but I
could tell he listened by the tilt of his head.  Glancing at the clock, I
groaned at the time and calling goodbye to Clay, ran out the door with a
promise to see him at dinner.

Not only did I like Tuesdays because of the delayed start,
but also because Tuesday nights Rachel spent time with Peter, giving me the
house to myself.  Well, and Clay too, but she didn’t know that.  I looked forward
to dinners with Clay since it meant spending time with him as a man.

Rushing to the car, the door protested loudly when I yanked it
open.  I tossed my bag in and slammed the door closed thinking of Rachel with a
smile as I backed out of the driveway.

Rachel and Peter’s growing relationship made our
increasingly frequent dinners possible.  She hadn’t come home last night and
probably wouldn’t come home tonight as well.  It amazed me to see two people so
meant for each other.  When I focused on them, their lights, the essence of who
they were, pulsed in harmony.

Though I’d never stopped wondering why I could see the
lights, learning about the existence of werewolves had tempered my driving need
for answers.  After all, if a completely different species could evolve unknown
to the rest of the world, why couldn’t one girl develop a uniquely strange
ability.  Oh, I still believed seeing the sparks of the people around me served
some purpose I hadn’t yet identified, but I no longer actively searched for
answers.

Before I met Sam, I’d volunteered at the hospital thinking
I’d learn to use my ability to identify different illnesses.  But no matter the
patient or their illness, I always saw the same yellow-green coloring.

With a few minutes to spare, I pulled into the student
parking lot and grabbed my things.  Because of my time at the hospital, I’d
found what I wanted to do with my life.  Massage therapy had benefited some of
the Elderly patients who I really liked dealing with.

Walking across campus reminiscing, I didn’t see Scott until
he waved and called my name.  Hearing my name, I stopped.

Cutting across the dying grass, he jogged to meet me on the
sidewalk.  “I think we should start drawing straws or something.”

“What do you mean?”  I shifted my messenger bag eager to get
to my class.  Telling someone no only worked as long as I didn’t send any cross-signals,
and a long conversation definitely qualified as a cross signal.

“Peter and Rachel.  We should draw straws to see who has to
put up with the lovebirds.  I didn’t get much sleep last night.”  He rolled his
eyes and I noted the dark circles under them.

“Ah.  I didn’t know you and Peter were roommates.  I usually
don’t have a problem sleeping when he comes over so if you want them to stay at
our place, just tell Rachel.  I certainly don’t mind.”  He looked like he wanted
to say more so I interrupted.  “Sorry, I have to get going.  I’m going to be
late for class.”

He nodded and I walked away without a goodbye, hoping it
counted as a short conversation.  I knew Rachel had been staying at Peter’s
place because she felt guilty if he stayed at ours more than twice a week.  I’d
never stopped to consider Peter might have a roommate too.  Maybe I should say
something to Rachel.  They never kept me up when Peter stayed over.  I
wondered, belatedly, if they kept Clay up.

Realizing I’d slowed a little, I picked up the pace wanting
to arrive early enough to talk to Nicole, the shy girl in my basic massage
class.  She’d agreed to partner with me last week.  Today we would start doing
more hands on practice trying the few techniques already described to us along
with muscle identification.

The instructor had warned us we would work in pairs,
switching partners over the next few weeks.  Since the majority of my
classmates were female, if I carefully arranged partners prior to each class, I
should be fairly safe.  He’d also stressed we wouldn’t need volunteers from
outside the classroom this term.  It relieved me knowing I wouldn’t need to
fend off Scott as a volunteer.

*    *    *    *

An unusually quiet house greeted my chipper, “I’m home!”
when I returned home later that evening.  The brisk wind rattled the kitchen
window as I set down my keys and searched the house for Clay.

I didn’t find him, but did see evidence of his busy day.  The
neatly folded items from the laundry I’d put in and the load I’d set aside
before leaving, filled my dresser drawers.  Clean shirts hung in my closet. 
He’d even remade the bed with the fresh sheets.  The baby powder smell of the
detergent permeated the room.  I grinned, thinking of him wearing his clean
clothes.

A knock sounded at the front door.  Stilling smiling to
myself, I turned around to answer it.

An older gentleman stood on the step.  Dressed in a smart
grey suit, which complimented his dark grey hair, he reminded me of Sam, and I
felt a moment of guilt.  Sam had called several times to check on me, but I
hadn’t returned any of his calls.

A smile lined his face, reaching his warm hazel eyes as he
said, “Gabby?  I’m Joshua.”

My polite smile froze in place.  This was Elder Joshua?  I’d
pictured a younger man.  Doubt crept in and I did a quick scan.  His bright blue-grey
spark glowed before me.  That color… My stomach dipped in fear.  In the distance,
a child squealed in laughter snapping me out of my other world.  I held myself
still, clutching the edge of the door and fought hard to push back the sudden
burst of fear.

His nostrils flared slightly and I knew my efforts were too
late.

“I apologize for startling you, Gabby.  Sam was concerned
when he didn’t hear back from you after the confrontation and asked me to stop
by and check on you.”

Joshua had the same color light as the werewolf who had
attacked Clay.  Coincidence?  I didn’t think so.  So far, only Charlene and I
had unique sparks.

A knot formed in my throat causing my voice to sound dry and
strained.  “Confrontation?”  I wanted to slam the door and run, but knew
running wouldn’t work.

“Yes, we heard there’d been a failed challenge.  Is everything
okay here?”

I swallowed hard, found my voice and answered, “Yes, thank
you.”

Think Gabby!  Why would the werewolf who’d launched itself
at Clay from out of the darkness politely knock on my door?  And why the front
door?  The neighbors could see him.

Staring at his puzzled face, his hazel eyes called my
attention.  The other wolf’s eyes had been blue.  I had to call Sam and get a
description of Elder Joshua.  If this was really him, what did it mean that he
had the same color light as the werewolf who’d challenged Clay?

“How are things going with Clay?  Any other problems?  Is he
becoming too aggressive?”

“Everything is fine,” I continued to answer his questions.  “He’s
very polite,” but missing when I really needed him.  Convenient that Elder
Joshua just happened to show up when Clay wasn’t home.

“We were surprised to hear of a challenge.  Usually, strong
ties aren’t challenged,” he commented.

I didn’t know how to respond so I remained quiet.

“Well, if you need anything,” he reached into his pocket and
withdrew a business card, “give me a call, or call Sam.  We’re here if you need
anything.”

The card simply had his name and number printed on it, no
title or business name.  I nodded hoping he would leave so I could give into
the panic attack I barely held back.  He smiled, nodded farewell, and then
turned to leave.

I closed the door, tucking the card into the front pocket of
my jeans.  This time I watched through the peephole as he got into the car he’d
parked in front of the house.  The door muffled the sound of him starting it.

When it drove out of my line of site, I closed my eyes and
leaned my forehead on the cool wood of the door.  A wolf with a uniquely colored
spark challenges Clay.  Then Elder Joshua shows up with the same color.  For
more than two years, through every visit to the compound, not once did I ever
see a variance in the color of a werewolf spark.  Just like humans, they
remained consistent.

If not for the challenge, I wouldn’t worry about it.  But I
knew without a doubt, whoever challenged Clay I’d never met before.  And if I’d
never met him, why would he challenge Clay for me?  I wanted to know who the
challenger was and why Elder Joshua had an identically colored spark.

The best I could do was to verify Elder Joshua’s identity without
raising too many unwanted questions.  I needed to calm down and call Sam.  If I
called sounding freaked out, he would probably send Joshua right back over.

Pushing away from the door, I turned to go into my room, and
screamed a full-throated someone’s-sawing-off-my-arm scream.  Clay stood right
in front of me dressed in jeans, t-shirt and running shoes.  And by his shocked
expression, I’d probably just scared him as bad as he’d scared me.

Heart stuttering, I clapped a hand over my mouth embarrassed
I’d screamed like that.  No way would I call Sam now.  I wasn’t even sure I
could speak.  The hand over my mouth shook from the adrenaline rush.

He tilted his head studying me and then reached into my
pocket to pull out the card, looking at it briefly.  How did he even know it was
in there?  Had he been watching me?  Glancing at me, he shrugged and shook his
head clearly puzzled.

He wanted an explanation for my crazy reaction.  When had he
become such a chatterbox?

Dropping my hand, I did another round of deep breaths trying
to calm down.

“Did you see who was here?” I asked.  My voice wavered so I
cleared it.

He shook his head.

“How did you know that was in my pocket?”

He lifted the card to his nose briefly.  So, he could smell
the other werewolf?  That was good.

“Have you ever met Elder Joshua before?”  He shook his
head.  “Have you ever smelled him before?”  Again, he shook his head.

I closed my eyes briefly and let out a relieved sigh that sounded
a bit like a sob.  Joshua wasn’t the werewolf Clay had fought.  Even though I
remembered blue eyes, I’d still worried.

The new color variation bothered me though, and wished I had
someone to talk too.  Sam knew nothing about the lights I saw and now that Clay
confirmed Joshua wasn’t the same werewolf from the challenge, I didn’t see much
point in calling Sam… other than to yell at him for sending Joshua over.

Lost in my own thoughts, I jumped when Clay lightly tapped
my forehead with his index finger.

I smiled slightly, looking at him again.  “You want to know
what’s going on in my head?”  He nodded and I finally recognized that my someone-to-talk-too
stood right in front of me.  “I’d like to know what’s going on in my head
sometimes too.”  If only I could figure out those lights.  “Let’s make dinner
while I talk.  Let me know if you hear Rachel or anyone else.”

He nodded, kicking off his shoes and putting them in my room
before joining me in the kitchen.  He took the lead on dinner prep, giving me
busy work so I could talk.  I started to peel a potato while he clanked pans on
the stove.

“That was Elder Joshua at the door.  He stopped by because I
haven’t talked to Sam lately and Sam asked him to check up on me.  I guess he
was worried after that challenge.”

I picked up a second potato without thought. “Something was
odd about him Clay.” I hesitated and Clay nudged my chair as he walked to the
sink with the potatoes I’d peeled.  His way of saying I should keep talking,
but I struggled with how to tell him everything.

“I’m different,” I said abruptly.

He turned from the sink looking at me and shrugged as if to
say it didn’t matter.

“No.  Really different.  It’s kind of hard to explain.  Sam
told me I was different when he met me, but he doesn’t know all of it.  He said
that I was rare because I was one of only a few humans compatible with werewolves,
just me and Charlene.”

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair.  Based on my
mom’s reaction when I told her the truth, the idea of telling someone
everything scared me.

He picked up two more potatoes and handed them to me.

I started peeling again as he went to the stove.  “Since as
long as I can remember, I could see lights.  Not with my eyes, but in my mind. 
When I was younger, I had to close my eyes and concentrate to see a relatively
small area around me.  As I got older, I didn’t need to concentrate as hard and
could see a much larger area.  Now, I can see these lights at will, briefly, with
little effort, over a longer distance.  And I don’t need to close my eyes.

“These lights are people, Clay.  I can see the neighbors
moving around in their houses right now.  It’s not an aura I’m seeing.

“To put it in perspective, I can see a square mile around
us, but in my mind, the area looks like an inch.  The lights within that area
are small pinpricks, but I can see them so clearly, they could be the size of
quarters three inches from my face.  And all those dots are the same color. 
Every human around us has the same yellow light with a green halo.”