Hope(less) (23 page)

Clay handed me a glass of water breaking my train of
thought.  He took away the potatoes I’d cubed into tiny pieces, rescuing them.

“Thanks,” I said taking a quick drink.  “You and I, in the
middle of those dots, stand out.  I have the same yellow light as everyone
else, but my halo is orange.  I’m different from the people around us.  Even
different from you.  Werewolves have a green core with a blue halo.  At least,
that’s all I ever saw in the past two years, until the night we were attacked. 
That werewolf had a blue-grey light.  Imagine my shock when I opened the door and
see a man, who introduced himself as Elder Joshua, with the same color light.  Only
the difference in the color of their eyes kept me breathing.

“I’ve been like this my entire life and I have more
questions than answers about this second sight.  Why are all humans green and
yellow except Charlene and me?  We’re human.  Why is Charlene’s light a yellow center
with a red halo? Or mine a yellow center with an orange halo?  The only
similarities are the yellow cores.  I’ve been thinking it means human, but
don’t know what the halos mean.

“And I’m sure that you’ve caught on to the whole guy
situation.  I call to them somehow, as if I’m a beacon or something.  Do I
really send out some kind of signal?”  I looked up at him questioningly.

He held a plate in each hand.  Both loaded with some kind of
chicken skillet dinner.  He handed me a plate, studying me for a moment before
shrugging and shaking his head.

“So nothing as far as you can tell.  There’s got to be a
reason, a connection to it all.”  I sighed and played with the food on my plate
for a minute, thinking.

“I’ve never told anyone all of this.  People figure out
there’s something different about me if they’re around me long enough.  But no
one knows about the lights.  I’m torn.  Do I call Sam and tell him about the
lights?  Do I tell him the light of the guy that challenged you is the same
light as Joshua?  There’s nothing concrete I can offer about the coloring or
why I’m so worried about it.

“Why would a werewolf I don’t think I ever met challenge
you?  And why does he share the same coloring as Joshua?  Everything so far has
a category: humans, werewolves, and compatible mates.  And I don’t think they
can be compatible mates because Charlene and I are uniquely colored from each
other.”  I shook my head trying to clear away my frustration at my inability to
solve the puzzle.

Taking my first bite, I struggled to swallow the cold food. 
I looked up at Clay in surprise and saw his empty plate.  “Bet you’re wishing
you hadn’t asked.”

He shook his head slowly still watching me.  I started to
doubt the wisdom of sharing so much with him.  What if he started to treat me
differently?  I didn’t want to lose his friendship.  Having no true friends in
my life, it devastated me to think I might lose the one person I might have had
a chance to be myself with.  When he didn’t say anything, I forced myself to
eat.

He waited until I finished eating and took both our plates,
cleaning up the kitchen while I did my homework.  The spatter of running water,
the soft clicking of dishes, none of it distracted me as much as my own
doubts.  The uncertainty about what I’d just shared and the lack of response
ate at me.  Granted, he hadn’t spoken to me at all before my announcement, but
still.

When he finished, he left the room for a few minutes and
padded back in, nails clicking on the kitchen floor. I didn’t have time to
wonder why he’d changed to fur.  He nudged my arm with his head and looked
toward the living room.  The tightness in my chest, which I hadn’t even
noticed, loosened slightly as he watched me expectantly.  I ran my fingers
through the fur at his neck hoping he wouldn’t ever act like a real dog and run
away from home.

Deciding I’d done enough for the night, I packed up my
homework and followed him.  We watched some sitcoms and then called it a
night.  When he curled on his usual spot at the foot of my bed, I sighed and
closed my eyes.  He hadn’t seemed to treat me any differently after telling him
everything.  I hoped it stayed that way.

Rachel came home alone very late after an evening shift at
the hospital.  I knew I was right when Clay only shifted on the bed
acknowledging he’d heard something.  The nights Peter stayed, Clay grumbled a
bit.  They probably did keep him awake.  Poor Clay.

September passed in a blur taking most of October with it.  I
still struggled to fend off the few stragglers who hadn’t yet grasped the
concept of ‘No’.  Thankfully, I didn’t run into Scott again.

Rachel and Peter were inseparable although they made a big
fuss about giving each other their own time.  Meaning they only did overnights
three times a week.  It limited my quiet time with Clay, but we managed.

Most nights, he sat by the back door in his fur waiting for
me.  A few nights, though, I came home to an empty house, which explained his
decreased reading.  He only read about one book a week, still preferring
mechanics.

I began to notice a few things that made me wonder how he
spent his time.  He mysteriously owned more than several pair of jeans even
though I’d only bought him one.  He also had a few new shirts.  Although, he
seemed to favor the ones I’d gotten him, especially the flannel.  When I tried
asking where he went, as usual, he didn’t answer.

Tuesdays, still one of the nights Rachel stayed over at
Peter’s, Clay had dinner ready when I got home.  He also did laundry for me if
I forgot to do it before then.

On our dinner nights, he still didn’t talk, but I gradually
learned more about him through many well-phrased questions.  I guessed for over
a minute trying to figure out his favorite color.  Pink… naturally.  What guy
wouldn’t have a feminine stereotyped color as a favorite?  I gave up trying to
guess why after twenty minutes.  He also liked trying new foods.  After I
learned that, I made it a point to bring home one unique food item each week. 
Fruits like pineapple and kiwi disappeared quickly.  Vegetables like okra and Brussels
sprouts… well, I laughed long and hard watching him eat those.

I discovered that his dad, now deceased, taught him how to
read at an early age.  The education he’d received comprised essentially of home
schooling.  I’d only thought to ask about his education after finding a wallet
on my dresser.

Since he’d crouched right behind me when I spotted it, I’d
looked at him questioningly and not getting any type of response, I’d peeked
inside.  He could have barked or something to tell me to stop, but he didn’t. 
Viewing the contents of his wallet had been informative.  On his driver’s license,
he looked just as scruffy with the exception of the clearer view of his eyes.  I’d
stared at that photo for quite a while until his laughing penetrated my fascination.

Behind the license, I found a folded copy of his GED
transcript.  When I asked him how he managed to get his GED and a driver’s
license without speaking, he stopped communicating with me for the night. 
Moody.

The glimpse at his eyes in the photo started me back on the
‘off with the beard’ kick.  His standard response was to bare his teeth.  Darn
canines.

Telling him about my abilities had no noticeable effect on our
relationship other than to open a floodgate in me.  I couldn’t seem to stop
myself from telling him about all the weird or exciting things that happened to
me on campus, the only time he couldn’t shadow me.

He sat and listened to me, giving his full attention.  I’d
grown so used to his attentiveness, he had confused me when he abruptly walked
away from me after telling him I’d received an invitation to a Halloween party.

Nicole from my basic massage class invited me, begging that
I go with her.  During our one course together, she’d admitted to liking one of
the guys in the room who planned on attending and she didn’t want to go alone. 
Everything in me cringed at the idea of going to a party.  I’d told her that I’d
never been to one because of the way guys acted around me, which she’d admitted
to noticing.  However, she didn’t seem concerned when I pointed out the plan
could back fire and the guy she liked could start bugging me again.  He’d tried
for the first two weeks of class then gave up.

I’d wanted to talk to Clay about it, but after he walked
away from me, I didn’t mention it again.

*    *    *    *

The last Saturday in October, I found myself getting ready
for a Halloween party instead of studying.

Clay’s grumbling as he watched me put on makeup made it
pretty clear what he thought of the idea.  I’d borrowed some of his clothes,
the stuff that would fit without falling off, and slicked back my hair under a
ball cap.  Using some funky hair gel from Rachel, I combed some of my hair to
look like pork chop sideburns and began the process of penciling in some thick,
manly eyebrows.

“What do you think?” I asked turning to Clay who stood on
the bed so he could watch my progress over my shoulder in the mirror.

He grumped again then jumped off the bed to leave.  Obviously
not a fan.

“Rach?”  I called to let her know I’d finished.  She’d
started out as my costume consultant until she presented me with a skimpy dress
from her closest and suggested that I go as a call girl.  I’d kicked her out then. 
Clay had looked ready to rip apart the dress.

The door flew open and only Clay’s agile reflexes saved him
from a concussion.

Rachel took one look at me and demanded, “What the hell did
you do?”

Her shocked expression was priceless.

“I’m going for dude.  It’s safe, right?  What guy is going
to want to hit on a guy?  Even if he knows that underneath, it’s a girl.  Guys
get weird about that stuff.”  I thought I looked pretty authentic.  Any curves
I had safely hid under my layered clothes.

“You know what’s going to happen?” she demanded as she moved
to sit in the middle of my bed.  “All the guys are still going to be attracted
to you like usual.  Only they’re going to freak out because you’re going to
make them think they’re gay and you’re going to get your ass kicked tonight.”

Clay let out a yowl that sounded like, “That’s it,” and ran
from the room.

Rachel stared after him with a concerned frown mumbling, “I
love that dog, but he creeps me out sometimes.”

“Yeah, I guess I shouldn’t be trying to teach him to say ‘No
way’.”  I hated lying, but Clay had just acted much too human.  “I thought it’d
be cool to train him to say it to guys, but I guess it’s encouraging him to
make other sounds too.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you were doing that.  Still weird.”  She
smiled and got up from the bed.

Earlier she told me she planned to stay in.  I had a feeling
Peter would knock at the door anytime now.  Like magic, a knock sounded on the back
door.

Rachel bounded out of the room with an, “I got it,” tossed
over her shoulder.

Shaking my head, I checked myself one last time and looked
at the clock expecting Nicole shortly.  Not as close as Rachel and I, Nicole still
seemed to genuinely like me despite the attention I usually received.

We’d decided I would drive in case fate smiled upon her and
she managed to hook up with the guy she liked.  To make it easier to keep an
eye on her, I’d suggested she drive here.  That way I could see when she came
home like a nosey friend should do.

“It’s for you Gabby!” Rachel called from the kitchen a hint
of laughter in her voice.

As I moved to the kitchen, I thought it odd that Nicole had
gone to the back door.  When I saw who stood just outside waiting, I stopped abruptly.

Remaining motionless in the yellow glow of the porch light, a
two legged friend of mine wore blue coveralls with the name Clay sewn on.  The
getup looked far from new with a smattering of grease stains and a slight tear
in one arm.  I’d never seen coveralls before, but didn’t give it much thought
as I stared at his face.  I could actually see it.  Well, sort of.

He’d pulled back his hair into a ponytail, fully exposing a
broad forehead, nicely shaped eyebrows, and thickly lashed brown eyes, for the
first time.  His beard covered most of his cheekbones, but everything above his
upper lip, he trimmed shorter.  Our eyes met and I couldn’t look away.

Stunned, I said nothing in greeting.  I could feel Rachel’s curious
gaze flicking between the two of us.  His eyes crinkled at the corners and I
knew he smiled at my reaction.  It warmed my stomach and set my heart fluttering.

Thankfully, Nicole chose that moment to knock on the front
door.  Rachel broke the spell his sudden appearance had cast with another, “I
got it,” and rushed from the room.

Breaking eye contact, I looked at his uniform and muttered, “You
have some explaining to do, I think.”  My heart still fluttered as I turned
away from him and headed for the front door.

Rachel’s gushing praise about a costume told me whom she
welcomed before I turned the corner.  When I did, I smiled in awe of Nicole dressed
as a mermaid in all its shimmering beauty.  The modified silky green body-hugging
evening gown included a tail-like train, which I anticipated would be stepped
on repeatedly before the end of the night.  A heart-shaped neckline adorned the
sleeveless top, which she’d altered to make it appear as if she wore a bikini
top.  When she turned to give Rachel the requested full view, I also saw a cute
fin strategically placed on the back just above her butt.  A tasteful dusting
of glitter decorated her sleek straight hair.

“You’re gorgeous Nicole.” I said in way of a greeting.  “Are
you going to be warm enough?”  Both she and Rachel laughed at me.  “Hey, it’s a
valid question.  It’s the end of October for Pete’s sake.”

“I’ll be fine.”  She looked at Clay and smiled warmly, “Hi,
I’m Nicole.”

Clay nodded and stuck out a hand, which she clasped, waiting
for a name.