Hope(less) (3 page)

Sam remained silent beside me.

Leaving the park, we turned right on the sidewalk.  The
phone in my bag buzzed and I quickly searched for it.  The rain still held back,
but the sky overhead rumbled ominously.  I checked the message and smiled at
Sam, “Barb said she’s very excited to meet you and since you and I just ate,
they’ll have cake and coffee ready.”

Sam nodded.  A fat raindrop splattered on the sidewalk in
front of us and without a word, we both started walking faster.  When we turned
the last suburban corner, I pointed out the Newton’s house to him, not pausing
the brisk pace we’d set.

Barb and Tim both stood on the front stoop waiting for us.  Tim
had his arm wrapped around Barb’s shoulders as he peeked around the awning to
look up at the clouds.  They greeted Sam enthusiastically and invited him in. 
I could see Barb sizing him up and finding him acceptable.

In a rare twist, Tim did most the talking that night, asking
Sam about himself.  When Sam said he originally hailed from Canada and managed
the family business, investments, I figured he stuck as close to the truth as
possible.  They did ask him about my grandpa and he wove a beautiful tale about
growing up together.  Since I never talked about my grandfather, the Newton’s
didn’t know any differently.  The skill in which Sam lied made me a little
uncomfortable.  If he could lie that easily to them, how easy could he lie to
me?

The rain stopped before he finished his second cup of
coffee.  Sam smiled at Barb and said, “The cake and coffee were wonderful. 
Thank you for letting me drop in like this.”  He stood, knees creaking, and extended
a hand to Tim.  “I won’t over stay my welcome or the coffee.”

Tim clasped Sam hand with a warm smile as the adults all
laughed.

Letting go of Tim’s hand, Sam said, “It was a pleasure to
meet both of you.”

“We appreciated you stopping in,” Barb replied, already
collecting the cups to bring to the sink.  “When Gabby said she ran into you,
we were both very curious.”

“I can imagine.  Now that I found her, I don’t want to lose
track of her.  If it’s alright, I’d like to stop by now and again to check in
on her.”

“We insist you do,” Tim patted Sam back in a manly display
of affection as they walked to the front door.  I quickly helped Barb put the
dishes in the sink so she could follow them.  Barb was a little compulsive and
couldn’t walk away from a dirty kitchen.

“What about dinner next Wednesday,” Barb asked, raising her
voice from the kitchen as she washed and dried her hands at the sink and
hurried to the front door where Sam bent to put on his shoes.

“That sounds like a good idea.”  Sam finished tying his
shoes and turned to me.  “Will that be okay Gabby?”

Leaning against the arch dividing the living room and the
kitchen, I watched the adults interact.  In a way, it reminded me of the animal
channel.  I struggled not to crack a smile at that thought since Sam really did
have one foot in the animal world.  Instead, I answered, “After I finish
volunteering, it should work for me.”

Satisfied they would see each other soon, the adults said
their goodbyes, and Sam left.  Not bad for a first meeting.

Each time I met with Sam, I learned more about his world. 
Nothing that I could apply to myself, yet.  I still had hope though.

*    *    *    *

Life continued as normal for a while with Sam visiting
periodically over the next two months.  Barb started to show and the normally
reserved Tim couldn’t stop talking about it.  My time with the Newton’s ticked
away like the seconds of a clock.

On one of our scheduled Wednesday nights, I opened the door for
Sam as soon as he knocked.  With a week left of school, I’d let the hospital
know that I wouldn’t be coming in during exam week because of schoolwork.  He
didn’t show any surprise when I swung the door open after just one knock, but
then I didn’t expect him to.

Despite meeting at my home where we couldn’t speak freely,
I’d managed to learn a little more about him and his kind.  For example, he had
exceptional hearing.  He knew when I got nervous or upset, by the change in my
pulse.  He could hear whispered conversations taking place in other rooms as
long as the door remained partially open.  He could even hear whispers through
thin walls.  In addition to keen hearing, he also had better eyesight.  In the
dark, his pupils expanded to a freakish dimension allowing in as much light as
possible and enabling him to see when a normal person couldn’t.  This explained
the way his eyes reflected in the dark.

“Hi, Sam,” I said holding the door open while he stepped in. 
I stopped him from taking off his shoes, saying, “We’re eating out on the patio
since it’s nice out.”  He wiped his feet extra well on the rug before following
me through the house to the back patio.

The solid concrete slab patio took up a fourth of their
backyard space.  The patio wasn’t that big, the yard was just that small.  But fenced
in with a classic wooden privacy fence, it made a perfect play area.

We walked out onto the patio and Tim looked up from the
grill to our left and nodded a greeting.  Smoke drifted lazily upward as Tim
flipped a burger.  “Sam, thanks for coming.”  Barb stopped setting the table
and moved to greet Sam with a hug.  Sam gave one back with a smile.  She long
ago stopped trying to hug me.

Tim brought the burgers from the grill and we all sat to eat
while Tim and Sam dominated conversation with fishing stories.

When Sam asked if I’d ever been fishing, I nearly choked on
my bite of burger.  “No,” I said definitively.

He put on a mock shocked face and asked, “How can a girl
your age never have been fishing?”

“Many have tried and all have failed, Sam,” I said slightly
amused.  “I’m not an outdoorsy type.”

His next comment wiped the smile from Barb’s face, “You
should come with me for the weekend.  I’ll take you to the cabin your grandpa
and I went to before you were even born.  It’s got indoor plumbing now, so I
bet you could even talk a friend into coming with.”

I glanced at all the faces at the table.  Sam still smiled,
Barb focused on me with an alarmed expression and Tim glanced between me, Barb
and Sam.  I took another bite of burger to stall.

In private, Sam had mentioned that he’d like to take me on a
trip to meet others of his kind.  I felt fairly certain that’s what he meant
now.  Having him ask tonight without any warning took me off guard.  I could
have done some prep work, like dropping hints that I had interest in spending
more time with him or something.  But it made sense that he asked now.  Why
wait?  The doctors saw no reason this pregnancy wouldn’t go full term.  School
would let out soon and I had no summer job.

Setting down my fork, I picked up my glass and took a long
drink of water.

They all waited.  I decided to save the adults the long
dance around a subject none of them wanted to face full on.

I turned toward Barb and Tim, “I’ve spent a lot of time
getting to know Sam over the last two months and told him about the baby on the
way.”  Here I looked at Barb, meeting her beautiful dark brown eyes kindly, “We
all know that I won’t be able to stay once the baby’s here.”  Barb started to
tear up and speak, but I stopped her with a raised hand.  “I also know that you
want me to stay.  I don’t doubt that for a minute.  You’ve both been so great
to me and I thank you.”

I turned to Sam, “You said that you live in a three bedroom
house and that I was welcome to visit anytime.  What about visiting until I
graduate?”

Sam continued to smile at me, “I have a room if you need it,
whenever you need it.”

I didn’t want to go back into foster care.

Barb started to sniffle and Tim reached over the table to
pat her hand.

Friday night, Barb and Tim dropped me off as Sam’s with hugs
and a misty goodbye.  I used the eight-hour drive to ask Sam blunt questions
about werewolf life soaking in everything he said.  Headlights showing the way,
we turned off the blacktopped road onto a deeply rutted dirt road that I
doubted saw much use.  After about a mile bracing myself against the rough
ride, the truck passed two wooden poles suck in the ground on each side of the
driveway.  We emerged from the tree-lined path into a wide clearing.

In the dark, I could see a large two-story log cabin style
structure dominated the clearing with wings branching out to connect to
outlaying buildings.  Rolling forward slowly, Sam parked in the area in front
of the buildings, which was a combination of old gravel, stubborn grass, and
plain dirt.

The werewolf community reminded me of an old wilderness
resort, one that’d been closed for a few years.  If not for the lights pouring
out from several of the windows, I would have locked the truck door instead of
following Sam’s lead.

I trailed after Sam carrying my bag and stepped up onto the
covered porch.  Sam didn’t hesitate, but pulled open the solid wood door
without knocking.  An eclectic set of rugs set along the perimeter of the large
main entry accommodated numerous sets of shoes, while hooks on the walls held a
bounty of coats, jackets, and overalls.

Sam caught me looking around at the mass of shoes and said,
“We don’t have to worry about stealing here.”  He removed his own shoes.  “It
keeps the rest of the place cleaner if we leave our outside things here.”

“You would not believe how messy this place was thirty years
ago,” a voice called from the hall.

I looked up from untying my shoes.  A tall woman with blonde
hair and a gentle smile walked into the entry.  I estimated to be in her late
twenties.

“Hello, Gabby,” she said coming to stand next to me, “I’m Charlene.” 
She held out her hand in greeting as I stood and stepped out of my shoes.  Her hold
was firm and sure.  “Sam’s told me about you.  I’m so excited to meet another
person like me.”

Excitement coursed through me.  Finally!  I stretched out my
senses looking for her spark in the vast darkness in my mind.  The brilliance of
the sparks surprised me, their normal soft glow amplified so much that the
blinding light obscured their gentle colors.  I let go of her hand and they
dimmed considerably so I could again discern their soft colors.

Sam’s spark glowed blue with a green halo and hers, while
still containing the yellow center like any human, had a red halo.  I’d always attributed
my orange halo to the possibility that I couldn’t see myself correctly using my
other sight.  Seeing Charlene had me reconsidering.

Beyond our sparks, I noticed other blue-green lights.  Not
in the immediate area, but spread throughout my area of awareness.  The
coloring matched Sam.  Maybe Sam wasn’t abnormal after all.  But Charlene and I
didn’t match.

Focusing on Charlene, I asked, “Like me?”  Could she see
lights too?

“So far, we are the only two humans that seem to be
compatible with werewolves,” she said still smiling in welcome.

My hope sank.  So we were human and … wait… “Compatible?”  I
looked to Sam confused.  I knew that I smelled different to them, but he hadn’t
mentioned anything about compatibility.

“Yes, werewolves choose their mate, husband or wife,
instinctually.  They have no history of ever before selecting from humans for
their mates, but here we are.  Whatever it takes to become a mate, we
apparently have it too.”

My mouth popped open in shock as I understood.  I turned on
Sam distantly aware of Charlene.  “Are you telling me you brought me here to
hook up with a werewolf?”

Charlene spoke up from behind me, “No, Gabby, I apologize
for upsetting you.”  I turned to look at her.  “Yes, we’re different in that a
werewolf might choose us, but that doesn’t mean that they have to choose us or
that we have to choose them.  At your age, there will be no hooking up.”

She looped her arm through mine and gave me a motherly pat. 
Too afraid to appear rude, I didn’t pull away.

As soon as she touched me, all of the sparks around us
brightened again.  I didn’t even need to focus.  The lights just flared and
continued to glow brightly without effort.  Weird.

She started leading me down the hall from which she’d
entered.  After a few steps, she stumbled and freed my arm.  With relief, the
lights in my mind extinguished and I concentrated on her words.

“I asked Sam to bring you so you and I can talk.  As I said,
there is no one else like us that we’ve found.  I came here when I was younger
than you… long story… and met Thomas, the pack’s leader.  It was a very hard
adjustment with a huge learning curve on both our sides.  I don’t want you to
have to face any of that on your own.”  She led us down a second hallway and
stopped in front of another closed door.  “We’ll introduce you slowly to this
new world you’re now a part of.  If you have any questions, don’t be afraid to
ask them.”

She opened the door to a small studio apartment saying it
was a work in progress.  It definitely qualified as rustic, but I didn’t mind. 
It had a separate bedroom, which Sam insisted I take.  He took the foldout
couch.

The small windowless bedroom just barely fit a twin-sized
bed and nightstand with lamp.  I wondered if it had once been a walk-in closet
converted for extra privacy.  Not that I complained.  I guessed sleeping in a
small room on a real bed ranked higher than Sam’s pullout bed.

An even smaller bathroom right off the main living area
completed the suite.

*    *    *    *

Sam woke me after a few hours of sleep.

Despite Charlene’s assurances that my stay didn’t include finding
a boyfriend, I still felt leery that Sam hadn’t told me about the compatibility
thing.  I’d thought I could trust him and his omission stung a little.

I wanted to excuse it - maybe it’d slipped his mind - but
it’d taken eight hours to get here.  Granted, most of that time we’d talked
about the progress they’d made in the last thirty years and the customs that
they no longer followed, like pack hunts.  Still, he could have mentioned that
doozy. 
By the way, Gabby, werewolves will want you as their mate. 
I
paused then shook my head at the thought.  Yeah, I would have reached for the
door handle and tried to jump from the moving truck.  Maybe, he’d made an okay
call.  Only time would tell.