Horrid Henry and the Mega-Mean Time Machine (10 page)

Susan heard roars of laughter from inside the club tent. So they were laughing, were they? Laughing at her, no doubt? Well, she’d show them. She knew all about Margaret’s Top Secret Plans. And she knew someone who would be very interested in that information.

“Halt! Password!”

“Smelly toads,” said Perfect Peter. He waited outside Henry’s Purple Hand Fort.

“Wrong,” said Horrid Henry.

“What’s the new one then?” said Perfect Peter.

“I’m not telling
you
,” said Henry.

“You’re fired, remember?”

Perfect Peter did remember. He had hoped Henry had forgotten.

“Can’t I join again, Henry?” asked Peter.

“No way!” said Horrid Henry.

“Please?” said Perfect Peter.

“No,” said Horrid Henry. “Ralph’s taken over your duties.”

Rude Ralph poked his head through the branches of Henry’s lair.

“No babies allowed,” said Rude Ralph.

“We don’t want you here, Peter,” said Horrid Henry. “Get lost.”

Perfect Peter burst into tears.

“Crybaby!” jeered Horrid Henry.

“Crybaby!” jeered Rude Ralph.

That did it.

“Mom!” wailed Perfect Peter. He ran toward the house. “Henry won’t let me play and he called me a crybaby!”

“Stop being horrid, Henry!” shouted Mom.

Peter waited.

Mom didn’t say anything else.

Perfect Peter started to wail louder.

“Mooom! Henry’s being mean to me!”

“Leave Peter alone, Henry!” shouted Mom. She came out of the house. Her hands were covered in dough. “Henry, if you don’t stop—”

Mom looked around.

“Where’s Henry?”

“In his fort,” sniveled Peter.

“I thought you said he was being mean to you,” said Mom.

“He was!” wailed Peter.

“Just keep away from him,” said Mom. She went back into the house.

Perfect Peter was outraged. Was that it? Why hadn’t she punished Henry? Henry had been so horrid he deserved to go to prison for a year. Two years. And just get a crust of bread a week. And brussels sprouts. Ha! That would serve Henry right.

But until Henry went to prison, how could Peter pay him back?

And then Peter knew exactly what he could do.

He checked carefully to see that no one was watching. Then he sneaked over the garden wall and headed for the Secret Club Tent.

Will Peter tell Margaret all of Henry’s Purple Hand plans? Will Susan sabotage Margaret’s Secret Club attack on Henry? Find out whose fort is still standing at the end of the battle in
Horrid Henry’s Stinkbomb
.

Henry is dragged to dancing class against his will; vies with Moody Margaret to make the yuckiest Glop; goes camping; and tries to be good like Perfect Peter—but not for long.

Horrid Henry tries to trick the Tooth Fairy into giving him more money; sends Moody Margaret packing; causes his teachers to run screaming from school; and single-handedly wrecks a wedding.

Horrid Henry uses a stinkbomb as a toxic weapon in his long-running war with Moody Margaret; uses all his tricks to win the school reading competition; goes for a sleepover and retreats in horror when he finds that other people’s houses aren’t always as nice as his own; and has the joy of seeing Miss Battle-Axe in hot water with the principle when he knows it was all his fault.

Horrid Henry indulges his favorite hobby—collecting Gizmos; has a bad time with his spelling homework; starts a rumor that there’s a shark in the pool; and spooks Perfect Peter with the mummy’s curse.

Horrid Henry reads Perfect Peter’s diary and improves it; goes shopping with Mom and tries to make her buy him some really nice new sneakers; is horrified when his old enemy Bossy Bill turns up at school; and tries by any means, to win the class soccer match.

Francesca Simon spent her childhood on the beach in California and then went to Yale and Oxford Universities to study medieval history and literature. She now lives in London with her family. She has written over forty-five books and won the Children’s Book of the Year in 2008 at the Galaxy British Book Awards for
Horrid Henry and the Abominable Snowman
.