Read Horrors of the Dancing Gods Online
Authors: Jack L. Chalker
Tags: #Science Fiction, #Fantasy, #Fiction
"Welcome! Welcome, effendis! Please accept my humble greetings to you all on getting this far! Come! Come! I am
Ali ben Hazzard, your host for this next and final leg of your journey! Please! Come this way! We have tents over here, and sweet teas and fine coffees,
and a way to relax and get some sleep!"
They all looked at Thebes. "Is this guy legit?" Marge asked him.
"Oh, yes. He manages the prepaid expeditions to and from here," the little man assured them. "Why do you ask?"
"Well, um, hasn't anybody told him that for a guy named Ali ben something who talks and dresses like that, he's not an
Arab or a Persian? That in fact he's a Mongolian, or so it seems?"
"Oh, yes,
that.
He knows. He just hopes you will not notice. I think there probably was an Ali ben Hazzard many, many years and a number of owners ago. He is actually an improvement over the last one I knew here. He was a snake man with a nasty complexion and big reptilian eyes and all the rest. Made it next to impossible to believe anything he said. He kept saying everything with a forked tongue."
Marge let that one pass.
Hazzard's setup, virtually invisible from the air, was actually quite elaborate. Big tents, thick rugs, and silken coverings, all the comforts of a nomadic home.
There was good stuff there, too: not just the teas and coffees promised but wines as well, and sweet rolls and a savory stew that ben Hazzard assured them had nothing more sinister in it than Iamb.
"I didn't think there was anybody this straight and up and up on this whole continent," Marge commented to Thebes.
The little man gave his Lorre-like chuckle. "Oh, he is one of those who is more or less the dishonest side of Yuggoth, really. You see, he offers absolutely safe and honest service at an incredibly exorbitant price."
"What's dishonest about that?"
"Why, I would think that it is obvious. What is a criminal enterprise? It is there to supply those things, regardless of cost, that society has deemed illegal or immoral but that the people want anyway. Here,
everybody
cheats, so you pay through the nose for honesty. It is that simple."
Marge shook her head as if to clear it. "Yeah. Simple as calculus. Never mind."
Ali ben Hazzard was a good host, and after they had eaten and drunk their fill, he took them to a large trough where there was actually tepid water for washing off, then showed them their small tent. It was big enough for them all but wasn't exactly built for privacy.
"It is too late to make the journey tonight, so rest!" their effusive host told them. "Tomorrow you will rise, eat, and have a fairly easy day on your own, and then we shall set off after an early dinner while we still have some sun but the shadows begin to cool."
"We're not going to travel tomorrow during the day?" Irving asked.
He chuckled. "You must be joking, young sir. It is about as
cold as it gets right about now and will remain this way until about dawn! Within an hour, the temperature will climb several degrees an hour and will not begin to decline until the sun is very low. At midday this desert is hot enough to fry brains!"
Thebes nodded to confirm this. "It is probably about thirty now—ninety-two or so Fahrenheit. Tomorrow, forty-five, even fifty is not unheard of, and fifty-five is common farther inland. Is that not so, friend Ali?"
"Indeed it is, effendi! Not for nothing is the Great Rift often called the Worse Than Death Valley! So sleep!"
And after a while they did. After the discomforts of the ship's deck and
its
eternal wetness and hard sacks, the rugs and silk over sand were a blessed relief.
Marge, of course, did not sleep but wandered outside. The heat made no difference to her; she felt neither cold nor warmth in
any
measure, and once you've jumped into liquid lava a few times, the kinds of temperatures bandied about for this desert didn't seem all that big a deal.
She was simply trying to decide
what to do.
It took a
couple of hours, with late half-moon rising well in the sky, before events made her decision for her.
Someone stirred, then slipped as silently as possible out of the tent, probably too troubled to sleep or perhaps just overtired. Marge was surprised to see that it was Larae.
A thought suddenly struck Marge, and she found it quickly maturing into an irresistible impulse, and she'd been faerie too long to resist one of those.
She went up behind Lame as the girl stood not far from the tent, looking at the moon. Suddenly she heard someone and turned and saw not Marge but Irving there. Only it
wasn't
Irving, not exactly. It was some kind of dream Irving, some idealized Irving from her own mind and fantasies ...
Although very real, the cleansing eventually would lead Larae back to sleep, in which she'd have more peaceful dreams and awake refreshed, unsure of any true action but remembering it as a kind of fantasy pleasure.
Larae had certainly been in need of it, and Marge was quite pleased that she'd been able to control it and limit it to the old ways. Not long ago she could have gone a week or more before feeding again from a load of guilt like that, but after this she was still hungry. She might be able to restrain herself, pace things, if Irving didn't present an opportunity, but Marge knew she'd find it next to impossible not to follow through if Irving should walk out of the tent at some point the way Larae had.
It was worse than she'd thought. She was becoming insatiable ...
Within twenty minutes a disturbed-looking Irving came outside to look at the moon.
The heat of the day fully lived up to its billing, and the current Ali ben Hazzard still lived up to his effusive hospitality, although Poquah found himself paying for all sorts of extras that might well have been considered essentials. Guaranteed wholesome food, for example,
was
horrendous; no guarantee, well, that was pretty cheap, but you use those
grungy pots over there. Water? No problem! Oh, you want a
cup!
Well, that's
different!
Irving and Larae both slept very late and awoke quite close to each other. It was very strange how he felt this morning, the boy thought, but damn it, she seemed somehow ten times more attractive than before—and he'd been attracted to her since his first glimpse of her back on the big boat.
But it was
wrong,
damn it! He couldn't get around that. He couldn't do what he really wanted to do with her, even though somewhere in the back of his mind was a nearly perfect sensation that somehow they'd done exactly that, impossible though it was. They could be friends, but how could they truly be lovers?
Larae felt no such reservations even though she had exactly the same sensations and vague half memories that must have come out of dream but still seemed so real. She would try very hard to break down that conflict within him; it had bothered her only culturally before, and somehow it troubled her not a bit now. Still, if this mad expedition somehow succeeded, she knew that one way or another she'd get her hands on that thing they were seeking long enough for just one wish. One wish she'd thought of that would solve it all.
They had a midday siesta, then a substantial dinner with the sun perhaps ten degrees above the horizon. Finally it was time to move.
Irving looked around. "I don't see much in the way of camels or horses," he noted. "What are we supposed to do? Walk?"
Ali ben Hazzard looked at him with those almond eyes and grinned. "Of course not, effendi! How would we ever get anywhere with mere
camels
in conditions like this?" He removed what seemed to be a panpipe from a pocket in the folds of his robe and blew a series of notes on it
Three broad Persian-style rugs approached and braked to a stop.
"Ohmigod!" Irving exclaimed.
"Very good models, effendi, among the best!" Ali assured them. "Now, I want each of you to get a bit of practice before we go. I would not want to lose you out there in the middle of nowhere!"
"Flying carpets?' Marge yawned. "Fascinating. No handholds, though, I note. Doesn't bother me, but I'm not too sure about the rest of you."
"Oh, you will need them as
well, madam!" ben Hazzard assured her. "I do not think that anyone flies this fast. Your destination is more than a thousand kilometers that way!" he noted, pointing to the south and slightly west. "If all goes well, we will make it, with one brief stop, in about eleven hours. Now, come! It
does
take a
bit of practice, you know, and if you fall off and survive, we will lose time. We do not want to be aloft in daylight!"
It appeared that flying carpets weren't quite as easy to handle as in the old tales, that was for sure. For one thing, the speed was quite good, but balance was the key, and that meant lying pretty well flat and making certain that anything you did was balanced by what someone else did.
The first carpet was to have the "mechanics," along with some freight. After some balance tests, a couple of the vacuous fairies were shifted to ben Hazzard's carpet.
Irving, Larae, Poquah, and Marge were on the second, or middle, carpet, arranged pretty much to balance out the weight. Again, some small boxes and such were placed in the center, along with a supply kit. The general rule was, no matter what you did, you held on to the carpet, and you
never
stood up.
Ben Hazzard himself, along with Thebes and the leftover "mechanics," made up the third and final carpet, along with probably the most freight.
The first carpet seemed to have kegs rather than boxes, and a hopeful Thebes asked what the kegs contained.
"A yellowish dye, effendi! I have an order for it, and it
is quite rare! Very difficult to get! You need to go into the dark jungles and find a particular giant insect, a member of the tick family but one which feeds on certain very large plants rather than animals. It is very lazy, and it simply lies on the plant and drains its juices slowly over time. Inside its stomach, the interaction of plant and tick juices can, if the tick is removed and cut open, result in a very good dye! Different plants produce different colors, but those are yellow, one of the rarest colors!"
It
was still not quite dark, but Marge, hearing this outrageous explanation, shook her head and
wondered just how little inhibition of any sort she had left. It was so very, very tempting ...
"How do we go to the bathroom?" Irving asked ben Hazzard.
"If you cannot hold it until the break, use the container in the back. Yes! That squared wooden one there! Just remember how fast you are going and always be the last one to the rear of the carpet, eh?"
Irving looked at it and sighed. "Yeah, okay. So I guess it's time now, huh?"
They got on their carpets, lay down, got one more set of cautions from ben Hazzard, and then it was time. The caravan master played a series of notes on his pipes, and slowly, ever so slowly, the carpets rose up into the air until
they were lined up in the light of the setting sun about thirty feet above the desert in the order ben Hazzard had determined.
"Ready?" the man with the panpipes called. "All right, then! We go! Hold on!"
He played a few notes, and slowly the first carpet, then the second, and finally the third moved out in a direct line toward the south-southwest, accelerating as they did so, the wind picking up and blowing against them as they went faster and faster.
Marge couldn't stand it anymore. Not at all worried and stuck like glue to the front of the carpet, she sat up and pointed.
"Okay, everybody. Follow the mellow tick woad!"
If any of them got it, they didn't give her the satisfaction of a reaction.
CASTLE ROCK
Always be respectful to the King of Horror or you will be eaten alive by lawyer birds.
—
Rules, Vol. RIR, xiv, advice in Preface
IT WASN
T DIFFICULT TO SEE CASTLE ROCK, THE HEART, soul, and center of Yuggoth. It rose up out of the vast, basically flat desert floor like a gigantic black monolith, dominating all it surveyed.
Everyone was impressed, and Irving's eyes narrowed. "Hey! Those look like
lights
up there! Earth-type lights!"
Poquah nodded. "I believe you are correct. I never expected to see such a
thing here. It is against the Rules."