Hostile Desires (18 page)

He turned and walked into the office and shut the door. Adam was sitting in his chair staring at his computer screen, but he really wasn’t looking at it. If anything, he seemed to be in a trance.

“What the bloody hell did you do to Elle?” he asked.

Adam blinked and looked at him. “I asked her for help with Jin. Elle took exception to it.”

“That’s it?”

He nodded. “But, at the time, I didn’t know she’d had a call from one of the bloggers here on the island. Apparently, her ex is trying to stir up trouble. He tipped them off about her last case in London.”

“And?” he asked. Adam was definitely being cagey, and that made him worry even more. It was as if he was watching every word he said.

“She yelled at me, but then she started crying.”

“You made her cry?” he asked, outrage pumping through his blood. “You are
not
allowed to make Eleanora cry.”

The stunned silence in the office should have told him he’d been too loud. Hell, he had been so loud that the crew outside probably heard. Adam gave him a look of regret, and he knew then that Elle had been upset when she left.

“Don’t bother her any more about Jin.”

He turned to leave, but Adam’s voice stopped him. “I just wanted help. Jin seems to be losing her grasp on who she was.”

The anguish he heard in Adam’s voice made him turn around. Graeme studied him. He couldn’t deny that the second in command was definitely suffering.

“You need to just let her be. You have to accept that she isn’t the woman you knew before. She’s different, and once she learns how to deal with it, she might be able to deal with you. Otherwise, it isn’t about you or anyone else. It’s about her.”

“I just wanted to make her feel better.”

“You can’t.”

Adam cocked his head. “How do you know so much about this?”

“Hell, Adam, you should know this with your sisters. And that is part of where I learned it. But I had a good friend. An American soldier. She was the best bloody shot. Bold. Would rush right in without hesitation, and saved more than a few asses on the line. One night, she was hanging out with a man she had known for five years. A man she had trained with and fought beside. He attacked her. She fought him off, but it was a close call. She was never the same. You could see it in the way she interacted with her fellow soldiers, and the way she started to hesitate when she did her job. But it was more than that. She didn’t trust her fellow soldiers anymore, and it made her second guess her judgment.”

“If you’re going to see Elle, make sure you tell her I’m sorry.”

Graeme nodded as he left.

Drew came forward first. “I think she was going home.”

“Thanks,” he said, going into his office to shut everything down. After shutting off the lights, he locked the door and turned to leave.

“Tell her we were thinking of her,” Cat said.

He nodded, but Charity stopped him with another comment. “Please text us when you get to her. We’re really worried about her.”

“I will.”

He hurried out the door. As he jogged down the steps, he realized he had to make a stop before he went to Elle’s. There was someone who could help her more than Graeme ever could right now. He just hoped that this wouldn’t drive her back into her shell.

B
efore leaving
, and while stuck at traffic lights, Graeme had called Elle, but she hadn’t picked up. As he turned onto his street, he knew not to keep calling. She wasn’t ready to talk over the phone about it, and he didn’t blame her. It sounded like things went to complete shit while he was out working. If he could find that bastard ex of hers, Graeme would beat the hell out of him. He tightened his hands on his steering wheel and ordered himself to calm down.

He stopped by his landlady’s house to pick up Dumfries, who was barking his head off. As Graeme approached the door, the barking increased in volume. Mrs. Williams opened the door before he reached it.

“Come, take this
pupule
dog of yours, Graeme,” the older woman said. From the moment he had rented his house from Mrs. Williams, she had been in love with Dumfries. She didn’t want to keep a dog on her own, as she had in the past, but she loved having one around. It worked out for him because Dumfries did better with someone around. While Dumfries and Mrs. Williams were sometimes at odds over her garden, Graeme knew they both had a grand time together.

Before Graeme could stop him, Dumfries came barreling out, but instead of jumping on Graeme like he usually did, he took off toward the back of Graeme’s house.

“Dumfries,” he said, but the dog paid him no heed. He kept on without breaking his pace.

“Don’t worry,” Mrs. Williams said. “He’s going to see your
wahine
. She’s sitting on the rocks back there.”

He glanced at his own driveway a couple doors down, and saw Elle’s little convertible. Graeme had been so intent on picking up Dumfries and going to Elle’s that he hadn’t even seen her car.

“He’s been going on and on for the last hour. I almost let him out, but I didn’t know if that was the one, or if she could control him.”

He gave her a smile. “She is definitely the one.
Mahalo
.”

He turned to leave, but she stopped him by putting her hand on his arm. When he looked at her, Mrs. Williams wasn’t smiling.

“She looked sad, Graeme. If you want her to stick around, you need to make her happy.”

He leaned forward and gave Mrs. Williams a kiss on her cheek. “I will try my best.”

She frowned. “No try.
Do
.”

He smiled as he walked to the rocks where Elle sat. The first thing he thought was that she looked so…solitary. That is until Dumfries reached her. With a happy bark, Dumfries covered her face with kisses, and he could hear her laugh. It danced over the wind to him, and it lifted some of the heaviness from his heart.

“I was heading over to your house, but stopped by here to get Dumfries.”

She turned and smiled. He saw the ravages of a good crying jag on her face, but she appeared calm at the moment. Her eyes were red, her face blotchy, and she just looked tired.

“Aw, love, you’ve been crying.”

He knew she had been, but he’d hoped not to see it. It made him a coward, but he didn’t care. Women crying was a weakness of his. It was the one thing all of his sisters knew would break him down.

Her smile faded. “So, you’ve heard.”

Her voice sounded very small, and he could feel her retreat. He hated it. This was not the Elle he knew. The one he knew was bold and brash, a woman ready to take on anyone who questioned her. She only go like this when they talked of her past.

“Adam is very sorry.”

She stiffened at the sound of Adam’s name.

“I bet he is.”

“He told me a little bit, but I understand some blogger found out about your work on the case in England?”

She nodded as he sat down beside her. “Seems my ex got hold of someone here and told them about the case in England.”

Again, anger swiftly heated his blood. To have been a shitty husband was one thing, but to try and damage her career a second time made him a first rate bastard in Graeme’s opinion.

“I might have to hunt the bastard down and hurt him.”

She snorted. “Get in line, but that would mean engaging with him, and he is best left to flounder on his own. Gerald always liked to be the center of attention. If he didn’t get his way, he would do things like this.”

“Has he always been like this?”

She looked at him and didn’t say anything for a long time, then nodded. “I’m not sure how he is with other people, but with me, yes. He was always very passive-aggressive. I guess I didn’t realize it right away. His need to control everything overrode all his other actions, but he wasn’t overt. I didn’t realize it until I stepped away from our marriage just how screwed up our relationship was. It’s why he dragged my name through the rags when we divorced. He was mad he didn’t get his way, and instead of fighting
for
me, he went to the papers and blamed me for everything that went wrong.”

“Then everyone else piled on?”

Again, she hesitated. “Did you read the articles?”

“No.”

She glanced at him. “How did you know then?”

“First, you told me before, but it’s human nature. In their minds—and in his—they felt culpable for not protecting you. These people were your friends and, in the end, they couldn’t do what they had sworn they would do. Add in the fear that they might just suck at their jobs, and lashing out at you was easier than dealing with their own feelings of guilt.”

“Not my fault that they suck.”

He chuckled. “There’s my girl. And no, it isn’t your fault. Weak people blame others for their deficiencies.”

She sighed and looked out over the water.

“I like it here.”

“I assumed you did, since you drove here when you were upset. Did you come to see me?”

She looked at him. “I knew you weren’t here.”

She sounded like she was hedging the real answer. “But you came here.”

With a sigh, she looked out at the water again. “It’s tranquil.”

She had been there just a couple of times, but she came there when she needed solace. That should be enough, but it wasn’t. He waited her out. Sometimes with Elle, it was best to wait until she worked through her thoughts.

“Fine.” She looked at him. “I like being here because it’s like being closer to you. Happy?”

“Ecstatic,” he said with a smile.

She wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her head on her knees. Dumfries had wandered off to explore the yard.

“You’re going to be difficult to deal with now, aren’t you?” she asked.

“Admit it, love. I am
always
difficult. But I promise I’m worth it.”

She smiled. “That you are.”

He looked out at the water. “Adam is kind of lost when it comes to Jin.”

Silence greeted that comment. For a long moment, he wasn’t sure if she would respond.

“It shows,” she said.

Good. Her voice was no longer as harsh as it was before. “I take it he really messed up today.”

“A bit, but I am more concerned about what the team will think of me. I don’t want them to think I’m unfit.”

“They’re worried about you.”

Again, she said nothing. He looked at her then.

“Worried?” she asked.

“Yeah. Cat said to tell you they were thinking of you.”

“That was sweet.”

“And Charity said to text her when I finally hunted you down. Of course, Drew looked like he might drive out to your house to rescue you.”

She smiled again. “He is such a nice man. I hope Cat doesn’t trample all over him.”

“Why do you think Cat will trample on him?”

She shrugged. “He’s very much in love with her. You know that. Hell, the entire office seems to know but Cat.”

“I have a feeling that opposites do attract. Look at us.”

Again she snorted. “You definitely have a point. I don’t think anyone would have put us together.”

“Now, that’s just rude. And untrue. The entire office has a wager going.”

“They had a wager on whether or not Drew slept with the bodies. They bet on anything.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, they do.”

They sat in companionable silence for a few moments, as the water lapped against the rocks below. He had always thought it calming, but he didn’t realize how much it helped him through some of his worst moments.

Dumfries returned and wiggled his big arse so he could sit down between the two of them. She slid her hand through his hair, as she continued to look out over the water.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” he asked.

She continued to pet Dumfries. “About what happened now or back then?”

He shrugged, although he knew she wasn’t looking at him. “Any of it.”

She thought about it, then said, “Not really.”

“Fair enough.”

She glanced at him, surprise lighting her eyes. “You’re not angry?”

He shook his head. “Just know that if you ever want to, I’m here to listen.”

Her shoulders relaxed, and her expression cleared a little more. “He never asked.”

“Gerald?”

She nodded, then looked out at the water again. Something caught Dumfries’ attention and he ran off. Graeme took advantage of the situation and scooted closer to Elle.

“I’m not him. And you will learn that the team isn’t the group of wankers you worked with in London.”

She glanced at him, then back out at the water.

“How did you know?”

He shrugged. “I know you. They are worried about you, so maybe in a while, you can call them, and let them know everything is okay.”

“I worry what they will think of me.” Her voice had shrunk again, and he hated it. Hated that she even had to worry about things like that.

“They’ll love you as much as they did yesterday. These are good people.”

She released a breath and nodded. “What made you so wise at such a young age?”

He shrugged. “Easy. I love you even more today than I did yesterday, so I assume that they will too.”

Everything seemed to still around her, as she turned her head toward him. The stunned look on her face made him smile. Good, because he was still stunned by the turn of events, and he wasn’t sure when he would recover.

“You love me?”

He nodded. “Especially when you sound like a very prissy school teacher like you do now. Kind of turns me on.”

Her mouth opened twice before she snapped it shut and swallowed. “You do not.”

“Get turned on by your prissy voice?” He nodded. “Yeah, I do. It’s an illness.”

“Not that, even though you might need to talk to a therapist about that. You don’t love me.”

“I do.”

She shook her head. “I’m not a good bet, Graeme.”

“Let me worry about the odds.”

“What are you going to do if I can’t love you back? What if I crack?”

“Crack? You?” He shook his head. “Woman, you are stronger than just about any woman I know, and I am including my mother. That is high praise.”

“Coming from a mama’s boy like you, it is.”

He chuckled. “I like a woman with a little bite. You’re just going to have to accept that I love you, Eleanora.”

“I don’t have to.”

Instead of arguing any more with her, he changed the subject.

“Do you want to go to dinner somewhere?”

She nodded. “But let’s sit here for awhile. It feels good.”

He nodded and leaned closer to brush his mouth over hers.

“Sounds good,
Mo chridhe.”

He laid back on the grass and enjoyed the cool trade winds, the salty scent of the ocean, and the woman beside him.

T
he next morning
, Elle found Adam waiting for her outside TFH Headquarters. It was still early, and there were very few people around. She should have known he would be there. Adam wasn’t a man who shied away from adversity. It just wasn’t in his nature to avoid her, and that was what made him so good at his job.

“I’m sorry,” he said, before she could say anything. He held out a coffee cup to her. “Peace offering.”

She took it and sipped. Of course, he had the right amount of sugar and cream in it. The man knew everything about the TFH staff.

Elle knew she could hold a grudge, but she couldn’t completely fault Adam. “It’s okay. Any other day, I would have handled it better.”

“Still, it was insensitive. I should have chosen my words better.”

“True.”

He chuckled. “I do want to talk to you. I want to make sure I am doing enough to help Jin.”

She sighed. “Let’s sit down.”

They walked over to a bench and sat down. She liked the mornings in Hawaii. The air was so sweet, heavy with moisture, and it was quiet—even in Honolulu.

“So, tell me what you have been doing?”

He shrugged. “Just checking up on her. I try and stop by once a week, and I’ve gotten her to agree to text me.”

All the anger from the day before had dissipated, but if it hadn’t, the anguish she heard in his voice would have dissolved all of it. She knew now, without the haze of pain and embarrassment from yesterday, that he truly wanted to help.

“That’s good. And I know she’s been making it to group sessions. I don’t lead them right now. I took a couple months off since I knew I would be filling in for Dennis, as he and his wife were due now. I still keep up with her, call her every few days to check on her.”

“Oh. Good,” he nodded and took a sip of his own coffee. He had his mirrored sunglasses on, so she couldn’t see his eyes.

“Adam, there’s something else bothering you.”

“I...never mind.”

Then it hit her. “You feel guilty.”

He glanced at her, then away. He nodded, once, almost imperceptibly. In fact, if she had not been staring right at him, she would have missed it.

“It’s understandable. I assume you had a relationship with her before this?”

“Way before. We went out a few times.”

He didn’t continue.

“More than casual?”

“For me, I guess. Then, I found out she was using me for information, and I know how Del is about that. So, I broke it off before it really got started.”

She heard something in his voice that made her study him even closer. Oh, he was in love with her. Damn, she hadn’t expected that. She knew about the friendship, but Elle hadn’t realized just how much he cared about her. It made her adore him even more.