Hot as Sin (11 page)

He was sitting so close that she could breathe in the fresh scent of his bath soap, reminiscent of dry pine needles in a warm and sunny forest. It would be so easy to fall into his arms, to press her lips against the pulse beating strong and steady on his neck.

Despite her intense longing, she still couldn’t forget how badly he’d hurt her. Those painful memories gave her enough self-control to shift away from him on the bed.

“April wouldn’t do something that horrible to me,” she told him again, knowing that even though April wasn’t the easiest person to love, she wasn’t evil.

“That may be the case,” Sam replied, “but I’m not going to let you go rushing off to find her. You need to continue resting and getting better.”

Why was she so shocked by the fact that he’d already made up his mind about what was best for her? He might not look exactly like the twenty-year-old boy she’d loved, but he sure acted the same.

On the verge of telling him to mind his own business, she realized she’d forgotten a very important detail.

“She was here. At the hospital, to visit me. But I was sedated and didn’t see her. The nurses said she fell asleep in the waiting room.”

Not wanting to wait another second to file a missing person report with the police, she reached for her phone, but before she could finish dialing 911, Sam reached out and took it from her.

“There’s no point in calling the police.”

She glared at him. “Give me back my phone.”

Ignoring her demand, he laid out his reasons in a nauseatingly calm voice. “It hasn’t been twenty-four hours and she doesn’t exactly have the world’s best track record.”

Her rising indignation swiftly plummeted when she realized he was making sense.

All she’d ever wanted was a real family. Once upon a time, she’d actually thought it was possible to have that big happy family, to be Sam’s wife, to watch their children play together. Seeing Sam again only made the gaping hole in her heart feel bigger.

For the past ten years, she’d been just fine, but in only one hour he’d clouded her brain and heart and body with foolish desires and dreams. She couldn’t think straight around him. And she was going to need every last one of her mental resources to find April and bring her home again.

She had to be strong and send him away.

“Thanks for coming to see me, Sam. But I don’t want to take up any more of your time. You’ve been a great help, but I can take it from here.”

Like hell he was leaving her to head off on some wild-goose chase after her flighty sister. A woman like Dianna wouldn’t last a minute in the Colorado Rockies.

The trees and rivers and mountains looked beautiful, but looks were deceiving. You couldn’t make your way through miles of rough terrain if you were worried about breaking a nail or messing up your hair. Not if you wanted to come out of it alive.

Sam moved away from the bed and walked over to the window to get a grip on his frustration—and his lust. Being this close to Dianna was driving him insane. He could barely control himself around her. He felt like an animal about to bust out of its cage.

No question, it was long past time to leave. He’d simply come to the hospital to make sure she was all right. Instead, he’d walked into an episode of
Without a Trace
.

On top of everything else, Dianna had no business leaving the hospital yet. Even though she’d miraculously escaped injury in the car crash, she had to be exhausted by the entire ordeal.

At the same time, he understood exactly why she was so frantic. He’d be going just as crazy if he thought Connor was in trouble. Hell, he’d barely kept his shit together when his brother had ended up in the burn ward the previous summer.

When he’d first walked into Dianna’s room, she’d looked so strong, utterly impenetrable despite her harrowing accident. Now, he could see all of the cracks in her glossy veneer, everything from knuckle-cracking to the way she bit her lower lip when she was nervous.

Viewing her as a shiny celebrity had been so much easier than seeing her as a vulnerable woman who desperately needed his help and protection.

Yet again, just like that afternoon so many years ago when she’d told him she was pregnant, he was left with only one choice.

“I’m going to help you find her.”

Dianna looked at him in obvious confusion. “Why would you want to help me?”

Her question was a painful reminder of how he’d failed her ten years ago. He hadn’t been there when she’d miscarried. He hadn’t protected her or the baby well enough, and he’d never be able to make it up to her completely, but perhaps if he could be here for her now, he’d find a small measure of peace down the road.

Drawing a parallel to his relationship with his brother, he said, “If anyone ever threatened Connor, I’d do whatever it took to hunt that person down and make him pay. I know you feel the same way about April.”

She looked wary about working together and, truthfully, he didn’t know if he could make it through even one night in close quarters without ripping her clothes off. His balls were going to be bright blue by the time they found her sister.

“No,” Dianna insisted, but he could tell she was wavering when she added, “This isn’t your problem. I’ll figure it out.”

He had one last shot to convince her. One last shot to keep her safe.

“Look, I’ve got the wilderness skills you need to get through the Rockies in one piece. If you want to find April fast, you’re going to need me around.”

Grasping at straws, she said, “I can hire someone.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “Do you really think you’ll be able to convince a stranger to head out on a wild-goose chase at a moment’s notice?” Even with all of her money, he was one hundred percent sure she couldn’t buy that kind of help.

“Fine,” she finally agreed, “You can help me.”

Okay, so he’d won this first battle with Dianna. Now he needed to win one with himself by getting one very important thing straight: Regardless of how he used to feel about her, from here on out he needed to treat her like a stranger in need, like any one of the thousands of people he’d helped as a hotshot. The key to success was to approach their mission methodically, rather than emotionally.

But even as he vowed to resist her, he was hit with the buzz of knowing their reunion didn’t have to end yet. It was impossible to push away the powerful anticipation of being with her again.

“We need to find the commune.”

It took him far longer than it should have to tune in to what she’d just said. So much for staying grounded and treating her like a random fire victim. He’d have to work a hell of a lot harder than this if he was going to keep himself from veering off the tracks.

“I agree,” he said. “The commune is the last place she was living and I think it’s our best shot at finding clues as to where she went and who she’s with.”

Dianna scooted halfway off the bed. “I’ll pack up my things so we can get going right away.”

Sam shot toward her and put his hands on her shoulders, immediately getting aroused by her nearness, her scent.

“Stay right there.”

Jesus, he thought as he took his hands away, if he’d gotten that hard with her sweater as a barrier between his hand and her skin, what would happen to his self-control if he accidentally touched a bare patch?

“I’ve got a friend on the Rocky Mountain hotshot crew who knows these mountains like the back of his hand,” he said, working like hell to get back on task. “It’s possible he’ll know the locations of any communes in the more remote areas like the one April described to you.”

The unabashed hope in Dianna’s eyes nearly did him in. Those weeks after her miscarriage, he’d wanted so desperately for her to look at him like that.

She never had.

Already heading to the door, he said, “I want you to rest while I go call my friend Will.”

He stepped outside before her green eyes saw too much. Before she could guess how much he still cared.

CHAPTER EIGHT

AS SOON as Sam closed the door, Dianna lay back against the pillows and closed her eyes. The room was spinning and she felt nauseous.

Knowing her sister was in trouble made her heart race and her skin feel clammy all over. But she wouldn’t be able to help April if she lost it. She had to keep it together, had to remember that her sister was a tough little cookie with more street smarts in her pinkie than Dianna had in her whole body.

And then, simmering beneath everything else, there was Sam.

He was the strongest man she knew, just as comfortable climbing a sheer rock face and jumping out of an airplane as he was putting out a raging wildfire.

On top of that, he was breathtakingly beautiful … and utterly dangerous.

When he’d read her the riot act about cutting him and everyone else in Lake Tahoe out of her life, she’d wanted to come back at him with all the ways he’d hurt her, wanted to hold a mirror and show him that he’d deserted her first, wanted to remind him that instead of being there for her after her miscarriage, he’d signed up to fight every goddamned wildfire in the western hemisphere.

And yet, she couldn’t deny that, right now, he was the very best person to help her find April.

But despite her immense gratitude for his help, Dianna was incredibly wary of working as a team. She’d been in charge of her life for ten years, calling the shots on her own TV show for four. Now, she was about to put herself in a position where she knew nothing, where she had to rely on someone else—a man, no less—for everything.

No. Not for everything. Just to help her find April and bring her home. That was it. Nothing more.

At the end of this journey, she’d shake Sam’s hand and thank him sincerely for his help. They would never again be friends—how could they be?—but she would be forever grateful for his willingness to forget about their past and help her find her sister.

As long as he stayed on his side and she stayed on hers, everything would be fine, she thought as exhaustion hit her and she fell into an uneasy sleep on top of the covers.

She woke at the creaking sound of the door opening and looked up to see Sam stepping back inside her room. One look at his tanned skin, his broad shoulders, his flexing biceps as he moved toward her was all it took for her to know she was full-on lying to herself about keeping her distance: She was powerless against Sam’s charms.

How long could she possibly hold out?

“I spoke to Will,” he said. “Evidently there is one main commune around here that is commonly referred to as the Farm by its residents. Given its proximity to Vail, he’s pretty sure it’s the same one April’s been living in.”

When he didn’t say anything else, didn’t tell her if it was a “good” or “bad” commune, her heart rate sped up. Just like always, he was afraid she couldn’t handle the truth and was keeping the full details from her.

No way. She was a big girl now. Whether or not she could handle the truth was beside the point. She had to not only handle it, she had to face it head-on. For April.

“There’s more you’re not telling me, isn’t there?”

A muscle jumped in his jaw. “Will’s heard rumors.”

“What kind of rumors?”

“The Feds have been trying to shut it down for years, sure that they’re hiding something. Evidently, the Farm looks clean from the outside, like nothing more than a group of green advocates wanting to live off the land.”

“Maybe it is clean,” she found herself saying out of desperation, even though she was suddenly sure that her fears for April’s safety were completely justified. “Maybe they aren’t doing anything worse than growing medical marijuana. Maybe they’re all just looking for a simpler life?”

“Maybe. But word is the owner of the Farm hasn’t been off the mountain in more than a decade. He’s built his own little world up there. Doesn’t need any part of civilization. Makes you wonder why. Especially since most communes aren’t growing pot anymore.” His expression was as serious as she’d ever seen it. “Methamphetamine is king, Dianna, and the drug makes people crazy, obliterates their brain cells. Don’t forget what happened in Jonestown,” he said, referencing shootings, poisonings, and mass suicides at the intentional community in Guyana led by California cult leader Jim Jones in the ’80s.

Oh no
, she thought, no longer able to wallow in denial,
what have you gotten yourself into, April?

“There is a primitive dirt road that heads toward the commune, but it’s totally impassable right now due to some trees that went down during late spring storms.”

With every word he said, she could feel herself sinking deeper and deeper into despair. “But we’ve got to get there, Sam.”

“My friend will drive us as far up the road as he can get.”

His eyes moved from her face to her arms, then her legs. He was clearly trying to assess her in some way. But how?

“I’ve spent a lot of time in these mountains, both as a hotshot and for pleasure. Everything within a fifty-mile radius of Vail is rugged mountains,” he informed her. “Fast-running rivers, steep rock faces, vertical hikes over boulders. It looks like the fastest way to the commune will be by river and then up through the mountains on foot.”

For the first time, Dianna wished she was less well versed in designers, and more in bagging high peaks. The only research she’d done on mountaineering had been when the star of
Man vs. Wild
had been a guest on her show, but even then she’d known that her viewers had been more interested in his smoldering looks and sexy British accent than his outdoor skills.

She figured she could easily handle camping and rafting. Water and dirt weren’t her problems.

Heights, however, were.

April. Think of April
.

She didn’t have time for the butterflies in her stomach. She hadn’t gotten to where she was by allowing herself to be weak or to ever give in to her fears. She wouldn’t start now, when it mattered most.

“I can handle it, Sam. I work out at the gym with a trainer and I’ve taken some self-defense classes for a segment we did a couple of months ago, even though I haven’t spent much time outdoors. Not since—” She made herself finish her sentence. “Not since I moved to San Francisco.”