Hotbox (64 page)

Nothing happened
,
and I was even disappointed.

During the week I got that urge almost a dozen times. I wanted to just tell Jayden that I was in trouble
,
but I couldn’t explain it to her right then. I wanted to tell her that she was going to have to be without me for a while, but I would come back for her. I just couldn’t do it, though. I trusted her with any secret that I held, but I was just too scared to take that risk. I wanted to use impulse as an excuse, to jus
t do it and hope for the best, b
ut I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if anything ever happened to her.

I went through the motions for the week of going to work, and spending the evenings with Jayden. We didn’t even go anywhere in public, and I was hoping my excuses were subtle enough. Monday and Tuesday I was still ‘a little tired’ from being sick over the weekend. I was so thankful Wednesday and Thursday were rainy and we both agreed to stay indoors. But we were invited to go out to dinner with Jack and Megan on Friday night, a
nd Jayden seemed really excited
,
so I
couldn’t bail out of that one. But i
t was miserable for me, listening to them talk about their honeymoon and looking at new houses. I forced myself to ask questions just to appear interested, but the worst part was forcing myself to
appear
happy
. I didn’t know how much I could take, making Jayden be with me while I was just living out the rest of my time with her. It was a lie. It felt deceitful.

While we were leaving the restaurant and walking to the car, Bobby Harris was passing by on the sidewalk. I was used to just
disregard
ing anyone that was a part of the organization
,
and this time was no different. But my heart
panicked
when Bobby actually spoke to me.

“Hey, Ty! What’re you up to?”

He was also on something, and I knew this could be a risky situation.

“Not much,” I replied, trying to move on.

“Hey, is that Jayden?” He w
as looking at her with a smile.
“I haven’t seen
you
for a while.”

She actually stepped closer to him and frowned. “Bobby, what are you on?”

He kind of laughed. “Oh, uh, just a little…you know…
the usual
.” He looked between the two of us as I was subtly trying to lead us away. “You two
on a date
?”
he seemed to figure out.

“Bobby, you shouldn’t be roaming aroun
d town
like this
,” Jayden told him. “Maybe I should
call my dad and have him haul you in
.
I told you I was going to clean you up one of these days.
If you won’t go to rehab—
”

“
I can’t afford
one of those
prison things that make you go th
rough death before you pass all their requirements.” Jayden was about to say something but he stopped her and added, “And I don’t take handouts. Anyway,” he said to me. “How come you never mentioned you had her?” he pointed. “She’s the jackpot
, man
. I’m really jealous,” he chuckled. “Well, I gotta go. I’m heading to—”

H
e stopped abruptly, hopefully because his conscience returned and he was about to say something he shouldn’t
.

“—To the other street,” he finished, and he started walking.
“Okay, bye.”

Jayden looked a little perplexed as I took her hand and completed the walk to the car, but not before she asked, “How do you know Bobby?” I
held
her door
while she got in
, and t
hen walked around the other side
. She was still waiting for my answer when I sat down.

“How do
you
know him?” I casually asked as I started the engine.

“Oh, I went to school with him. Since grade school, even. But I think he dropped out in ninth grade, maybe. I don’t remember. I still see him around occasionally.”

“And you’re willing to give him money?” I asked as we pulled onto the street.

“Money?”

“Yeah, he said something about handouts.”

“Oh. Three years ago I promised I would pay for him to go to rehab.” She shrugged. “I still don’t know why he won’t.” I nodded, not sure if I should re
spond at all, or just drop it, b
ut she asked, “So how do
you
know Bobby? He seemed to know you well.”

“Oh, uh…work,” I answered.

“You mean he’s a customer? He doesn’t even have a car.”

Hopefully she didn’t see me swallow befo
re I answered, “Oh, I know. But
he’s walked by a few times, so I’ve talked to him before. Nice guy. Too bad he’s always
in
orbit
.”

She made a noise of agreement. “Yeah.”

I was very thankful when she changed the subject, even if it was about wedding plans.

Saturday
’s events were a little unexpected
. Jayden was at the college
for most of the day, assisting students in the music
department
with choosing and planning their projects for the year. She
was also going to be helping one of them
plan a music festival
for
the spring.

A week had passed and I still hadn’t heard from
Olevsky
. I was beginning to let a little hope creep into my miserable existence, but I quickly shoved it
aside
. I had the worst feeling in the world and I couldn’t get rid of it.
I spent much of the morning trying to compose the letter I wanted to leave for Jayden. I didn’t write any of it down, though. It almost seemed that if I did, it was too real, and I didn’t want to make it real yet. I was given a week to decide how I was going to break it off and I figured I should stick with the letter—it was the safest bet. I didn’t trust what I might say to her once I was actually in the situation for real.

Dean called me that afternoon
,
and just the sound of his voice made me want to strangle him. He only told me to meet him at
The Riverside
and then hung up.
There was a cab already waiting
for me outside of my house
.
I had no idea what to expect, and I told myself a dozen times that I needed to stay calm and not provoke him in any way.
Maybe there was still a way I could
negotiate
with him.

It was the middle of the day and there were a few people at the café. But I walked straight
to the back corner and sat down to face
Dean
’s ugly smile
.

“Hey, Ty. Nice to see you.
” I tried to remain neutra
l
but didn’t say an
ything, so h
e shrugged. “So anyway,
I hear there’s an
awful
break-up in the works between you and your girlfriend. That really sucks, man.”

I felt my anger beginning to rise, so I took slow, silent breaths to curb i
t. But h
e knew I was furious;
I could tell by the amused look on his face.

“You’re probably wondering why you’re here,” he
finally
said
.

“Yes, the thought crossed my mind.
So
why
am
I here?
”

“Why do
you
think you’re here?”

Games. He always had to play games.
“I haven’t a clue,” I sighed.
“
But I assume it isn’t good.”

He laughed. “I was hoping you’d assume that.” He paused, maybe to wait for my response, but I
remained quiet. “Actually you’ve assumed
wrong. I was wondering if you’d like to
forget about
ending your relationship with Jayden Adams.”

My heart skipped a beat. But I had no idea if he was actually serious
, so I tried not to show a reaction
.

“See, I’m kind of a jerk if you haven’t noticed,” he smiled. “You piss me off sometimes and I really don’t have the patience for pretty boy jocks like yourself.
I don’t have time to explain all of my reasons, but I think it was a little harsh of me to mess with your life like that.
If you promise to keep your mouth shut, we won’t have to take drastic measures. This was just a little taste of the damage I can cause, Ty, so don’t screw me over again.
So what do you say? You ready to forget about the whole thing and go on with your life?”

As excited as I was to do so, I was still very cautious about what was going on. Was it really all just a game to make me miserable? Did Dean intend on doing this from the beginning, or did something change? I desperately wanted to know, but asking questions wasn’t something that I thought I should do. However, there was one question that I couldn’t keep from asking.

“Are you going to change your mind in another week?”

He actually laughed. “Ty, get out of here. Just count your blessings
and keep your mouth shut.”

I waited for about
five
seconds to make sure he was done talking, and then I did get up to leave, just in case he did decide to change his mind.

“Oh, and Ty?” he called after I turned to walk away.

I slowly turned back around,
bracing myself for
what might come out of his mouth.

With a
fake
smile he said, “Have a happy birthday tomorrow.” His
smile caused me to worry
, but I thanked him anyway and got the hell out of there.

I was prepared to walk
the eight
miles across town to the college, but the cab was still waiting for me outside. When
it
dropped me off
,
the driver
again told me the fare had been taken care of. With a shrug I let it be; I didn’t want to question
it
. I had called Jayden on the way there and
told her I was walking over.
She assumed I was coming from my house when I said I’d be
there in a few minutes, and s
he was waiting for me outside of the
performing arts center when I
got there.

“Hey, I think I know you,” she smiled as I approached.

I gave her a hug and held her extra long; I was so relieved that Dean had changed his mind. But the worst part was how much control he had over my life. He’d even made
Olevsky
do what he wanted, and that was probably the biggest point he wanted to make.

I held her face in my hands and kissed her. “I love you,” I told her.

“I love you, too,” she replied. Then she studied me carefully and asked,
“Everything okay?”

“Mmhmm,
” I nodded. “E
verything’s great. I was wondering if I could take you on a date when you’re done. Nothing fancy
,
just
something simple. Dinner and a movie, or whatever you’d like to do.”

She smiled. “Dinner and
a movie sounds wonderful. And
I’m actually done, so c
ome with me. I’ll gra
b my guitar and we can take off
.”

We walked into the building and down the hall to one of the larger classrooms she had been in. She said departing words to a few people and we left
down
the other hall
and
out the back door. The guitar went into the backseat
of her car
and we headed out.

I asked about her day and enjoyed listening to her
voice. She explained some of the projects that were being planned, and was impressed with how talented a couple of the students were.

“There’s this girl named Ida.
She can play almost any string instrument there is. She’s
amazing
. There’s a song that I do with Shawn—it’s called ‘All This’—and it would sound
great
with some of her string compositions. I played it for her, and even just her additions with the violin and cello were
incredible
. We went into the sound room and recorded the tracks,” she smiled, pulling a disk out of her purse, and
slipping
it into the CD player.

I recognized the song right away, even with
it
just
being instrumental
, and spent several seconds listening to the changes. “Wow, that sounds awesome,” I told her.