Hourglass (18 page)

Chapter 37

M
ichael.”

He was walking out the front door when I caught up to him. I followed him outside. “Where are you going? I thought you wanted to talk.”

“Didn’t know how long you’d be.” He stalked across the wide planked porch, the boards hollow sounding under his weight. “Thought I’d let you finish up.”

“Wait!” I reached out, catching the edge of his sleeve. He flinched as I accidentally brushed his skin with my fingers. “We were done. I was done. We weren’t doing—”

He jerked his arm free and started down the steps. “What the hell were you thinking, kissing Kaleb?”

“I wasn’t kissing Kaleb!”

“I just saw you in the kitchen with him,” he said, spinning around after two steps. “And you were
kissing
.”

I tried to explain. “It wasn’t like that—”

“It never is.” He crossed his arms and managed to look superior. “Isn’t that the excuse everyone gives when they get caught?”

“Get caught? You say that like I was doing something wrong.” I threw the next words out defensively, wanting to wipe away his smirk. “Why do you even care?”

“I only want you to … forget it,” he said, turning away.

I put both hands on his left shoulder, yanking him around so I could yell in his face. “No, you don’t, Michael Weaver. You don’t get to unload on me and then reel it all back in without telling me why.”

“You can do whatever you want,” he said, his voice cold and distant, shutting me down. Shutting me out. “I don’t have a right to an opinion.”

I still wanted him to have one. And vocalize it. Fighting the urge to push him, I attempted to push his buttons instead. “Kaleb did try to kiss me,” I said, sounding like a taunting bully on a playground.

Michael flinched as if my hand had actually connected with his cheek. “Looked like he succeeded to me.”

Bingo.

“He stopped.” I stood as close to him as I dared. “You want to know why?”

Michael covered his face with his long fingers, his silver thumb ring glinting in the sunlight. “I don’t know, Emerson. Do I?”

I said the next words distinctly, hoping for maximum impact. “Kaleb stopped because of you.”

“What?” He lowered his hands, his voice soft, incredulous.

“Your best friend is an
empath
. And he didn’t kiss me
because of you
.” It was out before I could stop myself. Why couldn’t I keep my mouth shut? I growled in frustration and dropped down to sit on the top porch step.

“Um … I thought maybe … But then Kaleb …” He trailed off awkwardly. “I didn’t know if you were confusing the way we make each other feel … physically … with actual feelings.”

“Maybe I am.”

“Nothing can happen between us, Em.” At least he sounded sad about it.

“I know that.” I stared down at the white paint flaking up from the porch steps. I leaned over, scratching at it. “I should go find Kaleb and take him up on his offer to distract me.”

“Don’t.”

“Why? ‘Nonfraternization’ rule or not, I’ve practically thrown myself at you. One second I think you want me back, then the next I don’t know. I barely recognize myself when I look in the mirror because I don’t
ever
act like this, and then I meet Ava and—”

The screen door opened behind me, the hinges in desperate need of oil. Grateful for the interruption and an excuse to end my humiliation, I pushed up forcefully from my seat on the stairs, cracking my head on something hard before feeling the sensation of cold slime sliding down my back.

I twisted around to see Dune holding a cooler half full of mud and crawfish heads.

The other half was all over me.

Chapter 38

F
or a horrible second, no one moved. Everything around me stood out with startling clarity. The dismay on Michael’s face, the sludgy water dripping from my tank top, the crawfish heads in my hair.

Michael jumped into action. “Dune, go inside and grab some paper towels. Have Kaleb bring us some ice. She hit her head pretty hard.”

“Emerson, I’m so sorry.” Dune dropped the cooler onto the porch and reached out to me. Michael waved him away and he took off in the direction of the kitchen.

“Are you all right?” Michael asked, peering into my eyes as he rested his hands gingerly on my shoulders. I couldn’t tell if he was trying to avoid the slime or my skin. “Your pupils look dilated. Does your head hurt? Tell me your name.”

“Of course my head hurts,” I snapped. “Ask me my name again, and I’ll turn you into a soprano.”

His eyes filled with relief as he let go of my shoulders and stepped away. “At least you’re okay.”

I was so far from okay.

Pulling a mud-caked strand of hair in front of my face, I crossed my eyes as I looked at it. “Do you have a garden hose somewhere? I can’t drive home like this.”

“I’m not going to let you wash off with a garden hose,” he said, shaking his head. “You can go up and take a shower. I’ll wash your stuff.”

“So I’m just going to sit somewhere naked while I wait?” I asked. Then I blushed.

Thankfully, at that moment Dune appeared with a whole roll of paper towels. He started ripping them off and dabbing at my hair and my shirt, all the while mumbling under his breath about how sorry he was.

“Dune,” I said, grabbing his wrist when his dabbing got a little too personal, “it’s fine. I know you didn’t do it on purpose. Accidents happen.”

His serious sea-colored eyes were full of apology. “I really am sorry.”

“How hard did she hit? Do I need to call 911?” Kaleb asked as he burst through the screen door, ice in hand. When he saw me he froze for a few seconds before exploding into laughter.

“Knock it off,” Michael said, scolding. “She could’ve been hurt.”

“Are you all right?” Kaleb asked, with tears in his eyes.

I pursed my lips and crossed my arms, surprised to feel a giggle bubbling up in my chest. “Peachy.”

He started laughing again. I wondered if I really had hurt myself when I hit my head, because I joined him.

“This really isn’t … funny.” I sat down to try and catch my breath, landed on a particularly slimy pile of crawfish heads, and slid to the bottom of the steps, hiccuping on impact.

Dune gave in, the concern in his eyes dissolving into humor as he doubled over in a deep belly laugh, sinking to the ground beside Kaleb. Michael still stood in the exact same spot, watching the three of us with something that looked like longing in his eyes.

I wiped away the leftover tears of laughter and threw my sopping hair over my shoulder, accidentally dislodging several shells that took flight and landed next to Kaleb.

He and Dune started giggling again, sounding like oversize preschoolers who’d eaten too much cotton candy. I covered my mouth so I wouldn’t join them and looked at Michael.

“What?” I asked through my fingers.

“Nothing,” he said, shaking his head. “Nothing at all.”

Freshly showered, I sat on Michael’s bed, waiting for someone to bring me my dry clothes. I’d insisted on keeping my underthings and washed them in the sink, drying them with a hair dryer.

I’d been alone with my thoughts for too long. I kept picturing Michael’s expression before he’d left Dune, Kaleb, and me outside. Almost like he was giving something up.

A knock sounded at the door, and I jumped up to answer, barely cracking it and sticking my head out. “Ava.”

She was dressed in a tiny pair of sleep shorts and a white spaghetti-strap tank top. Opening the door wider, I stepped out from behind it, wearing one of Michael’s Red Sox T-shirts.

Her eyes took in my damp hair, his T-shirt, and my legs, bare from just above my knees down to my pink painted toenails. I couldn’t help wondering how often she made evening visits to Michael’s room wearing skimpy pajamas.

“Where’s Michael?”

“He’s downstairs,” I answered, not revealing the specifics of why I was in his room. He could tell her. They could laugh about it together.

“What are you doing in here?”

I had no idea how to explain the crawfish debacle. “Um—”

“Never mind.” She shook her head and waved her hand, dismissing both her question and my answer, before leaning down and saying conspiratorially, “Can I give you a little friendly advice?”

“Sure.”

“Michael and I have been close for a really long time. I wouldn’t want you to do anything that would cause you … embarrassment, if you understand what I’m saying.” She gave me a pointed look, and her eyes strayed to the hem of Michael’s T-shirt.

I desperately wished I wasn’t having this conversation in my panties.

“I’m not doing anything … This is just … I’m only here to help.”

“Help who?” she asked. Her eyes stayed on my face, but I could feel her giving me the once-over in her mind. “Exactly?”

“Help … to help …” The truth hit me like a sledgehammer, and I physically took a step back. She didn’t know about the plans to save Liam. I scrambled to come up with an explanation instead of standing there catching flies. “I’m here to help Cat with some things. That’s all.”

“Oh.” Her mouth softened into a suggestive smile. “Well, maybe you should be in her room instead of Michael’s. He might … need it for something. Later.”

A vision of me with my hands around her neck flashed through my mind, taking the green-eyed monster theory to a new level. It hit me suddenly that I had some serious aggression issues.

“Okay, well.” I forced a smile. “Good luck with that.”

I slammed the door before I did something stupid, leaning against it and attempting to calm my breathing.

I needed to look into anger-management classes.

I needed to get out of this house.

And I really needed to find my pants.

Chapter 39

I
kept my fingertips on the hem of Michael’s T-shirt, pulling it down as far as I could. Glad I was familiar with the house, I tiptoed down the stairs, stopping short just outside the common area.

Ava and Michael were talking, her voice loud, his soft. I moved back to press myself against the wall beside the wide doorway, swallowing a scream when I felt a solid barrier of flesh behind me instead of the plaster I was expecting.

Kaleb. In the dim light I watched as his gaze traveled up my body, taking in my bare feet, the too-big T-shirt, finally returning to my legs. He let out a low, appreciative whistle.

“Two things. One, you have some
fine
legs. Two, if you were upstairs in my room, looking like that? I sure as hell wouldn’t be downstairs with
her
.”

Motioning for him to be quiet, I put my shoulder against the wall and leaned my head toward the conversation. Kaleb tucked himself in behind me, so close I could feel his breath on my hair.

“She was in your room.” Ava’s innate poise saturated her voice. I bet she’d never end up on the receiving end of a bucket of fish heads. “And she didn’t have on
pants
.”

I could feel Kaleb’s gaze move back to my legs. I elbowed him.

“Dune spilled a cooler of crawfish heads and mud all over her.” I could barely hear him over the sound of a baseball game on the television. “What was she supposed to do?”

“Go home?”

“She used my bathroom to take a shower. She was waiting for her clothes to dry.”

The poise slipped a little. “Were you going to
tell me
she was in your room—half-naked?”

I went ahead and elbowed Kaleb again for good measure.

“Ava.” Michael’s voice was sad. “You’re here because I’m trying to protect you.”

Ava sounded confused. “From what?”

“From who. Landers—”

“You’re going to bring this up again?” she said, on edge now. “I know what kind of man he is. I’ve known for a long time.”

“If that’s true, then you should know why I didn’t want you in that house. You kept having blackouts—”

“The blackouts? Is that really the only reason you asked me to move in here?” Michael didn’t respond. The sports announcers on the television discussed the first baseman’s batting average in depth before Ava spoke again. “Those aren’t happening anymore.”

“I’m not so sure about that, Ava.”

“I don’t want to talk about this.”

“And I don’t want to fight with you.”

“You know what? Go ahead and let the little groupie in your bedroom lavish you with ‘attention.’” I could hear the air quotes. “Who am I to stop her from feeding your hero complex? Should be easy to get started considering she’s naked from the waist down.”

I did not like what she was implying about me. At all.

And I totally had on my unders.

I got up quickly, clipping Kaleb in the chin with my head. I started for the common room, but he grabbed me around the waist, lifting me off the ground. If he hadn’t, I would have smacked directly into Ava as she rushed out of the room and stomped up the stairs. As soon as I heard her door slam, I started kicking, forcing Kaleb to put me down. I got the feeling he enjoyed my squirming a little too much.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Kaleb whispered furiously.

“In there,” I mouthed, pointing to the common room.

“You don’t want to do that.” I raised my eyebrows, and he continued in a low voice. “Come on, Em. He’s not your only option.”

I took a step back. “That’s not what this is about.”

He gave me a half smile and shook his head. “Just remember what I said.” Then he turned and followed Ava up the stairs.

I didn’t know when I’d become the top prize in the pissing contest between Michael and Kaleb, but I didn’t want to watch the race. I just wanted my pants.

I stepped into the room. “Hey.”

Michael faced me, making every effort not to look below my neck. “I’m sure your clothes are almost dry. I’ll bring them up when they’re done.”

I exhaled. “Can I have them now?”

“You in a hurry?” His stare almost burned a hole through me.

“I’ve been gone a lot lately. I don’t want to worry Dru and Thomas.” I fiddled with the hem of the T-shirt and wondered if he knew I was lying.

“Let me guess. You overheard my conversation with Ava.”

“Maybe.” I looked up at him. “Yes.”

“That’s too bad.” He rubbed his hands over his face, as if he was wiping away the memory of the argument.

“Is it true? Do you have a hero complex?” I stepped toward him involuntarily.

“How’s that edit button of yours?” I had the good sense to blush while Michael picked up the remote from a side table and cut off the television in the middle of a double play. The room went dim, the only other light coming from two small lamps on a buffet table. “Ava has a tendency to trust the wrong people. Landers had her snowed.”

“Kind of like you had me snowed?” I tried to be angry, but I didn’t sound convincing. I was too preoccupied by the way his face looked in the half-light, thrown into shadows. Mysterious. Dangerous. Tempting.

“What are you talking about?”

I imitated him. “‘No, Emerson, kissing you would be a big mistake.’ Why, Michael? Because you didn’t want me to be confused about my reasons for helping you save Liam, or because you didn’t want to have to make a choice between me and Ava?”

He moved swiftly. Cupping my face in his hands, he bent forward until he was a second away from touching his lips to mine. My blood rushed through my veins, every inch of my skin shivering and boiling at the same time. I half expected fire to shoot out of the electrical sockets. The lightbulb blew in one of the lamps on the buffet table, sounding a quiet ping into the dark.

I closed my eyes, ready to surrender to the kiss.

Just as quickly as he’d grabbed me, he let me go.

“That … wasn’t … fair.” I opened my eyes, swaying where I stood.

“No,” he answered. “It wasn’t. But now you know. If I wanted to play games with your emotions to get you to side with me, it wouldn’t be a hard sell. What I want doesn’t have a place in this. Emotions don’t have a place in this. They can’t.”

All the heat I’d felt disappeared, and my mouth dropped open. “I can’t believe you did that. You’re such a jerk.”

“Maybe so. But I don’t want you to do anything to please me or because of any feelings you think you have. I don’t want you to do it for the wrong reasons.”

“Are there any wrong reasons to save someone’s life?”

“No, but there could be regrets.”

“My only regret is that I ever thought there could be something between us. Point me in the direction of my clothes. I’ll find them myself.”

Michael jerked a thumb toward the kitchen.

“I’ll be here after lunch tomorrow to hear Cat’s verdict. If she says we can go back, I’ll still help you rescue Liam. But then you never have to see me again. And I never have to see you.”

I thought I caught a hint of regret in his eyes as I left the room.

It had to be a trick of the light.

I slept late. Dru checked on me before she left for work, but the sun shone down from the middle of the sky before I finally got out of bed. I felt like I’d run a marathon or been hit by a truck. It was a familiar—and terrifying—feeling.

What had I done?

I stumbled into the bathroom, turning on the shower to let it heat up while I undressed. Four years of shutting people out, keeping my own counsel, and in less than twenty-four hours Thomas, Dru, and Lily knew all my dirty secrets.

And Michael knew way more than I wanted him to know. So did Kaleb.

I stood under the spray without moving, trying to absorb all the damage I’d done to my life.

Where had my head been? How could someone like me ever trust another person with the complete truth? Way more was “out there” about me than I ever intended to share. At least Dru and Thomas were family. They’d stand by me no matter what. They already had.

Lily had stuck with me for years. Everyone else had cut me off.

I dressed, wishing I could turn off my mind, stop thinking about my circumstances. Relationships were such a risk. At boarding school I’d kept everything light, easy. Always the funny one, but when it came down to building deep relationships, an introvert. The reason I understood Kaleb’s protective wall was because I had built a pretty sturdy one of my own over the past few years.

Until Michael came along and blew it to kingdom come.

I took a long look at myself in the mirror. The truth was written all over my face.

I had fallen for him, hard, and I didn’t even know until it was already over.

I picked Dru’s keys up from my dresser and slipped on my sneakers. I could stop this. It wasn’t too late. The protective wall could be rebuilt, brick by brick. Loving Michael wasn’t a possibility.

Even if I was already halfway there, I could still make a U-turn.

Even if I thought it might kill me.