Authors: K. S.,Megan C. Smith
My vision blurred with unshed tears. I'd forgotten how gifted Lucas was with words. My body ignited as his thumb swept over the delicate skin of my wrist, and I let the fond memories of our time together replay in my mind.
Lucas's head turned as his eyes locked on a passerby's long legs in a red mini-skirt, and then I remembered who I was sitting with.
"Oh, Lucas. I accept your apology, but you may need more than a few years."
We both stood, laughing, and made our way out to the limo where Savannah was waiting for us. After my talk with Lucas I was determined to enjoy our evening together.
The next morning Savannah and I sat side by side in the green waiting-room chairs, recounting the amazing night we'd had. Lucas had been the perfect gentleman, escorting us around and introducing us to other Nike employees who we hadn't met.
"Brooke," the nurse at the door called out, looking directly at me.
Sad, when a woman came so often the nurse knew who she was without waiting for her to stand and walk toward her.
"Savannah, we will be out for you in just a moment," she added, nodding toward my best friend.
The nurse led me directly past the exam rooms and into Dr. Green's office, making my anxiety shoot up ten-fold. As soon as I took my seat, he began talking to me.
"Brooke, your white blood-cell count is noticeably elevated. It could be just an infection, but with no signs of a fever or secondary symptoms, I'm not sure. I'd like to do a quick exam and see if we can rule some things out."
I nodded my head, more confused than when I'd walked in the office. The nurse led me out and to the adjoining exam room. After laying out an
outfit
to change into, she left me to strip down and cling to a bit of modesty with the paper gown they had provided. Dr. Green came strutting in moments later with the nurse following close behind. He made quick work of his exam as he listened to my heart and lungs and checked my blood pressure.
"All looking fine, Brooke. Go ahead and lie back. I'm going to just do a quick breast exam and check your abdomen. Are you having any discomfort or issues you've noticed?"
"Besides the vomiting?" I asked half-jokingly. Seeing his blank expression, I quickly answered, "Not really."
"Has your breast been red like this for long?" His voice filled with concern as he poked and prodded my right side.
I simply shook my head no, watching his face as he felt around in circular motions.
"Nancy, can you take Brooke over for a mammogram with Sarah? I want an extra view of this area as well, please."
The next thirty minutes were a whirlwind as Nancy led me around first to the mammogram room, then to the ultrasound room. Each person clucked or
tsked
as they looked at the area of my breast that had concerned Dr. Green, until finally I ended up right back where I'd started, in his office. I was terrified. My heart beat loudly in my ears, and I could feel the perspiration on my skin.
"Nancy," I spoke, noting a shake to my voice. "Can you ask Savannah to come in here? I really need my best friend right now."
Nancy gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze as she nodded. She returned with Savannah in tow and Dr. Green following closely behind. This was it.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Savannah
A
LL OF THE AIR
was sucked out of my lungs as the word
cancer
bounced around my head like a ping-pong-ball factory had just exploded. I replayed Dr. Green's words to my best friend,
"Brooke, I am sorry to tell you this, but all of your test results indicate that you have breast cancer. Your mammogram showed a mass in the tissue, and the ultrasound confirmed it. We are going to order a biopsy of the tissue, but with the white blood cell count, I am going to go ahead and refer you to an oncologist."
My hand instinctively darted over to my best friend and grabbed hers, squeezing it to reassure there that I was here for her, right by her side, no matter what. Slowly peering over at Brooke, I saw the flow of tears streaming down her cheeks as her body trembled. Glancing up at the doctor, I said, "Would you give us a minute, please?"
He nodded and left his office, allowing Brooke and me some time alone.
The minute the door closed behind him, sobs escaped her throat and she lurched forward, cradling her barely-there baby bump. Still in shock, I stood there looking at her until I forced myself to snap out of it. I hurled my arms around her and drew her up, hugging her frail body as she wept into my shoulder.
"What am I going to do?" she howled as she battled the air that was escaping her lungs, putting her on the verge of hyperventilation.
I knew in that moment that I had to keep it together. My best friend was losing it, and I needed to be her rock until I could get her to Josh. Gently resting my hands on her cheeks, I tried to soothe her. "Brooke, look at me. Calm down, sweetie. Everything is going to be fine. You are going to beat this. I promise you that."
The tears wouldn't stop. "I can't… I can't stop crying. Why is this happening to me? I can't do this, Savannah. I'm not strong enough to beat cancer."
She collapsed onto the chair, and I knelt next to her, gripping both of her hands.
"Brooke, I promise this will not beat you. Please don't give up. You are going to have to fight like hell, but you've got to do it, not only for you, but for Josh, for this baby."
I took her hands and rested them on her belly and almost instantly, as if all of the water in her body had dried up, the tears ceased, and she sat up straight in the chair, squared her shoulders, and reached for her phone.
Brooke plucked at the keypad of her iPhone, and I watched on while she shot a quick text to Josh.
Please meet me at home. We need to talk.
She stood from the chair and looked at me. Her eyes were black, and I felt like I was staring at an empty shell of my best friend.
"Would you please take me home?"
Utterly alarmed by her sudden change of mood, I nodded and reached for the door to open it and allowed Brooke to exit first. She bypassed the front desk entirely and made her way toward my car like a walking zombie, before she climbed into the front seat and closed the door behind her.
I opened my door and scrambled into the car and quickly started the engine and turned in my seat. "Brooke," I whispered, terrified for the state that she was in. "Are you okay?" I knew it was a ridiculous question, but I didn't know what else to say, what else I should do.
Her head turned slowly, like she was a robot, and a fake smile appeared at the corners of her mouth. "Just fine."
My stomach knotted, and I rushed to put the car in reverse, hightailing it out of the parking lot and across town toward her house.
Josh was pacing on the front porch when I sped into the driveway. His hands flew into the air as if to ask where in the hell had we been. I forced the car into park and unlocked the doors. He flung Brooke's door open and reached in for her.
"Babe, what's wrong? Is the baby okay?" he begged, helping her out of the car.
Brooke rested her hand on his chest and lightly answered, "The baby is perfect. Give me a minute to freshen up, would you?"
Josh's mouth fell open as Brooke left him standing there at the car while she made her way inside.
Not sure whether or not I should stay, I crossed in front of the car and over to Josh, linking my arm through his. "Go inside. Be with her. She is going to need you now more than ever."
His eyes full of worry begged for me to tell him what was going on with his wife, my best friend, but I knew it wasn't my place. Brooke needed to tell him; it just wouldn't be right coming from me.
Josh squeezed me, kissing my cheek. "Stay close to your phone in case I need you."
I nodded as he ran into the house after Brooke, and the realization hit me that his world was about to come crashing down all around him, and there was nothing neither he nor I could do to stop it.
As I drove home, the streets passed in a blur. I couldn't help but think of what Josh and Brooke were going through.
When I opened the front door of my house, Jake called to me from his office. "How's my wife and perfect babies?"
His words cut through me like a sword slaying a dragon, and everything I'd witnessed over the past hour was brought to the forefront. Allowing myself to give in to the emotions that I'd had to push aside in order to be strong for Brooke, I staggered backward against the hard, wooden door.
My body slid down the length of the door as Jake appeared from his office and rushed over to me; he knelt in front of me and watched the tears take over my face.
"Savannah, honey, what's wrong? Are you okay? Are the babies…" His voice trailed off, and I could tell by the look of dread in his eyes that he was beginning to panic. "Oh God, babe, please tell me our babies are alright?"
I shook my head up and down, unable to control the weeping that was now raking my entire body. Forcing myself to speak between each sob, I choked out as much as I could, "Brooke. It's. Terrible."
Jake's arms scooped me up like I was a child and carried me into the living room, before he softly set me down on our couch. "Savannah, you've got to calm down and talk to me. I can't understand you when you're crying like this."
His tone was stern, but I knew it wasn't because he was angry with me; he needed to know what was going on, and, by the looks of my current state, he could tell it was something terrible.
Caressing my cheeks between his hands, he continued to wipe the tears from my face with the pads of his thumbs, consoling me every step of the way. "Sav, babe, please, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong with Brooke."
But each time he said her name I pictured her emptied expression in the doctor's office, and the pain worsened, causing me to cry harder.
Finally Jake's phone rang, averting his attention from me as he reached into his pocket to grab it. Josh's face was flashing on the screen. "Josh, what's going on?"
I watched, the tears still sheeting down my cheeks as I saw the color drain from my husband's face, horror blistering through his eyes. His hands grasped at the edge of the couch, and I tried to listen so I could hear what Josh was telling him, but my cries were louder than the speaker on Jake's phone.
Moments later, the phone fell from Jake's hand and crashed loudly onto the floor as his body sprang up and onto the couch next to me. His massive arms cradled me and our unborn babies.
"Savannah, I'm so sorry. I promise she's going to be fine. I am going to do everything in my power to ensure that Brooke makes it through this. You will not lose your best friend."
His body rocked back and forth with me in his arms, doing his best to soothe the uncontrollable pain that had taken over my entire body, heart, and soul as I wept in his arms.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Brooke
"
J
OSH!"
I
CALLED,
kneeling in my closet on the hunt for my black stilettos. I slung shoes out one by one, trying to find the pair I was searching for with no luck. "Josh!" I hollered again, hoping he'd be able to solve the mystery of the missing heels. I heard a rhythmic thud coming from the main living area as Josh's feet hit the wood flooring.
"What? What's wrong?" he asked, his chest heaving as he gasped for air.
"I'm just looking for my heels, the black ones. Do you know where they are?" I was perplexed by his demeanor; he was standing before me, gasping for air and dripping in sweat. "Josh, are you okay? You look like you didn't get any sleep."
It was Josh's turn to look at me all crazy as he analyzed me. "No. No, I'm not okay. You won't talk to me beyond the quick one-liner I got last night. I think, as your husband, I deserve more than
I've got breast cancer
before you hop in the tub." Josh grasped my hand and entwined our fingers. "Talk to me, sweetheart."
My head shook all on its own; I had closed off that piece of my brain that worried. I didn't have time to worry or stress; I needed to come up with a plan and see it through. "I've got it under control, Josh. I scheduled my biopsy for next week and even called the oncologist that Dr. Green referred me to, so he is watching for the results. When I get that information, I'll deal with it and make a new plan. One day. One step. That's what I can handle. I need you to let me do this my way."
As I slipped my feet into my other pair of black heels, I watched Josh for a reaction. I could see the pain behind his eyes as he navigated the field of landmines that was my sanity. I was on a precarious cliff, and he could see it.
When I'd told him that Dr. Green was pretty sure I had breast cancer, he'd stared at me, flabbergasted with the news and waiting for me to say more. Nothing more had come. I couldn't. Each time the thought crossed my mind, I remembered the little baby growing inside my belly and knew I just had to push forward.