House Divided (26 page)

Brady took the wrapped silver box and then
he handed it to me. Then he turned to his family who were all as confused, as
was I.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I want Ellie
to open the first gift tonight,” he announced.

Caroline did mind. “Aww man,” she said, but
she quickly recovered. “I hope it’s a puppy.”

Everyone laughed, except her dear sweet
grandma.

But Brady crushed her dreams. “It’s not a
puppy, darlin’.”

He turned back toward me and his daddy,
and he looked lovingly in my eyes. “It’s actually something I’ve been waiting
to use for ten long years.”

I was definitely curious.

“Ellie, will you please open it now.”

Gently I began to undo the wrapping paper.
I tried not to rip the thick silver paper, but Brady became impatient. “Just
tear it off, darlin’.”

I smiled and complied. Once the paper was
off, I was left with a white box. As I carefully opened the lid, Brady knelt in
front of me. He looked eager to look in the box too, which was funny
considering he knew what was in it, but as soon as the lid was off, I started
to cry. It was the gift I had thrown at him ten years earlier. I couldn’t
believe he had kept it all these years. It was the gift that was supposed to
tell him that I was his and I wasn’t going anywhere ever. Now looking at it, it
seemed silly, but at seventeen, it’s what I thought would mean the most. It was
a “House Divided” license plate cover. Half was Auburn and half was Alabama.

“I can’t believe you kept this all these
years.”

He smiled and stroked my cheek. “Well, I
added a little something to it.” He lifted it out of the tissue paper and tied
to it with a pretty crimson ribbon was a beautiful diamond ring.

I placed my right hand over my mouth. I
felt like I was going to burst. He untied the ring and then he took my left
hand and winked. “I know you think I’d forgotten this minor detail.”

He slipped the ring on my finger, and it
was a perfect fit. “Ella Lu Eaton, I’ve loved you for half my life and I can’t
imagine spending my life with anyone but you. So please say that you’ll be my
...”

“Brady James Jackson!” his momma shrieked
at the top of her lungs.

I knew it was too good to be true. I knew
his momma would not have it.

Brady’s face turned bright red. He stood
up, turned to face his momma, and so did his daddy.

“Enough, Elizabeth!” I think it took
everything Isaac had in him to get those words out. He placed his hand on my
shoulder to steady himself.

Elizabeth
was still not
having it. “After everything I’ve been through, I will not see my son marry an
Eaton!”

Now Brady was yelling this wasn’t her
decision and he didn’t care what she thought. The brothers began jumping into
the fray, and little Caroline was crying. I think I saw Kendra pick her up and
take her out. The beauty queens were also rushing their children out. I just
sat there and stared at my beautiful ring and silently cried. That was until
Isaac began to gasp for air and falter. I tried to get Brady’s attention, but
Isaac held on to me, he seemed desperate to tell me something.

“Tell Luanne I’m sorry and that I always
loved her,” he managed before he collapsed. 

I frantically yelled for Brady to call
911. I finally got his attention and everyone else’s. They were suddenly
rushing to the piano.

Elizabeth
pushed me out of
the way. “Do you see what you’ve done?” she screamed at me.

I stood helplessly as his sons tried to
revive him for a few minutes. I couldn’t move. I didn’t know what to do. Then
the thought came to me that I better go find Kendra. I didn’t want Caroline to
see this, and I didn’t want her to be frightened by the paramedics when they
arrived. I found them all in the family room. Beau and Booker’s wives started
in on me and how I ruined their holidays. I ignored them and went straight to
Kendra who was holding an upset Caroline. I whispered in Kendra’s ear what was
happening and she got up immediately with Caroline. Everyone else asked what was
going on, but I ignored them. I followed Kendra out. The Jackson’s lived far
enough out that Kendra had enough time to get Caroline out before the
paramedics got there. I was torn about what to do. I wanted to stay and be with
Brady. I knew his daddy was gone, but it was like it had always been. Our
relationship caused nothing but trouble, and I knew my presence would probably
do more harm than good.

In a split second decision I left with
Kendra. Thankfully the rain had stopped. On the way home, I tried not to cry in
front of Caroline, but I couldn’t help it. She was crying too.  She didn’t
understand why everyone was so upset and why it was bad that her uncle wanted
to marry me.

Kendra tried to be calm and comforting to
her. “It’s not bad at all, sweetie. It’s just they don’t understand.”

I was beginning to think it
was
bad. How could it not be? Because of me, his family was in turmoil and fighting
on Christmas and his daddy was dead. I knew by the look his momma gave me, she
would always blame me for his death. Then I remembered what Isaac’s final words
were to me, and I cried harder.

Kendra looked over to me when we pulled up
to my house. “Ellie, none of this is your fault.”

I didn’t say anything. I just looked back
at Caroline and told her I loved her and then exited quickly. I ran in and
straight to my aunt. She was on the couch, all decked out in her Auburn blue
satin pajamas. I lost it as soon as I saw her. I once again found myself at
Christmas time, feeling like my heart had been ripped out, and with my head in
my aunt’s lap as she stroked my hair and tried to tell me it would all be ok.

I wasn’t sure how it could be. I couldn’t
believe we had made it this far, only to be cut short just at the finish line.
I finally calmed down enough to tell my aunt what had happened. When I told her
Isaac had died, she stopped stroking my hair and seemed to choke on her words.
“He’s really dead?” she asked.

I just shook my head in confirmation. I
wanted to tell her that his final thoughts were of her, but it didn’t seem
right to tell her then. Both of our emotions were too raw.

She lifted my hand and looked at my ring.
“So, what are you going to do?”

“I just don’t know,” I cried.

Then my phone went off. It was Brady’s
ringtone. My aunt told me I should answer it.

“Hello,” I hesitated.

“Ellie, are you ok?” he asked frantically.

No, I wasn’t ok, but he had just lost his
daddy. It seemed irrelevant how I was feeling. “I’m so sorry, Brady.”

He started to cry. “He’s gone, Ellie.”

“I know.”

“Ellie, I need you.”

That only made me cry harder. “I just
can’t right now.”

“Ellie, please.”

My heart was breaking for him and for us,
but I just couldn’t go. I couldn’t be around his family. I knew it would be
better for everyone involved if I stayed away. I couldn’t answer though. What
kind of person was I to deny the person I loved most, his request when his
daddy had just died?

“Ellie, as soon as I leave the hospital,
I’m coming there.”

“Please don’t. Not tonight.”

“Ellie, please don’t do this.”

“Brady, just be with your family, they
need you.” Then I hung up. I felt horrible for what I had done, but I felt like
it was the right thing to do. Our relationship was toxic to everyone around us.
We were foolish to think we could just be together after all that had happened.

Brady called again and again, but I didn’t
answer. I finally turned my phone off and went upstairs. I wanted to be alone to
think. The only thing I did was take off my boots before I curled up in a ball
on my bed. I closed my eyes, and all I could see at first was the disdainful
and hateful looks of his mother and brothers and sisters-in-law. Then I was
haunted by Isaac’s look of desperation and his final words. He had loved my Aunt
Lu all this time. Elizabeth had to have known. Nothing short of that would have
caused the reaction she had to me. I kept thinking if I just hadn’t gone, maybe
Isaac would be alive. Brady’s pleadings were my undoing. I wanted nothing more
than to comfort him and to hold him.

I’m not sure how long I laid there,
touching the ring Brady had given me and crying until the tears ran out, but
the doorbell rang. I knew who it was, but I didn’t get up to answer it. He
began pounding on the door and calling my name. Finally my aunt answered it. As
soon as he entered, he began shouting my name and telling me he loved me. With
each declaration, my heart ached. I could physically feel it.

“You need to give her some time, Brady,” I
could hear my aunt say kindly, but firmly.

I couldn’t hear exactly what he said in
response, but before he left, he yelled up. “Ellie, I love you. We can work
this out.”

I heard the door close, and a minute later
my aunt was in my room stroking my hair as I lay on my bed. It was like déjà vu.
“That man loves you,” she said.

I knew he did, and I loved him too, but
sometimes love couldn’t conquer all.

I didn’t know when I fell asleep or for
how long I slept, but I awoke to the sound of the house phone ringing. My aunt
was of the generation that still had land lines. It only rang a few times; I
assumed my aunt answered it.

Several minutes later, she came into my
room. She resumed her position on my bed. I didn’t want to move. She just took
up stroking my hair again. “Merry Christmas, sugar.”

I didn’t think I had any tears left, but I
started to cry. It was anything but a Merry Christmas.

“That was Brady on the phone. He’s worried
about you. He wants to see you.”

“I can’t see him.”

“Ella Lu, why not?”

“Because seeing him would only be selfish.
Our relationship has caused nothing but trouble, and it would be best for
everyone if we just didn’t see each other anymore. I should have never come home.”

She didn’t say anything. I just continued
to cry for several minutes.

She eventually stood up. “I’m going to run
a bath for you and get you something to eat.”

“I’m not hungry, and you shouldn’t be
taking care of me. I should be taking care of you.”

“Ella Lu, I will take care of you until my
last breath.” She headed toward my bathroom. I heard the water begin to run. I
slowly got up and walked toward the sound. My aunt looked up at me. Her eyes
registered pity. She left me to undress and bathe.

I sank into the warm water and closed my
eyes. You know the saying, ‘tis better to have loved and lost than never to
have loved at all? I think it’s a lie. This was pain like none other. I held my
knees to my body and tried to will the ache away, but it wasn’t going anywhere.

I didn’t even bother with hair or makeup.
I threw on my silk robe and went right back to my bed. I crawled under my
covers and sank into my pillows, and there I stayed all day. I heard the phone
ring several times throughout the day, and my aunt was in and out several times
trying to get me to eat something, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. She
did make me drink something, though.

I can’t ever remember staying in bed all
day, not even when I’d been sick. I felt like I had no energy at all, physical
or emotional. When evening came on, my aunt came back with more food. I still
couldn’t eat.

“Sugar, you’ve got to eat something, and
you’ve got to talk to Brady before he comes and knocks the door down. The boy’s
beside himself. I won’t be able to hold him off much longer, and honestly I
don’t think I should.”

“Please,” I begged. “Please, don’t let him
come over.”

“Ella Lu, this is nonsense.”

“His daddy died because of me!” I yelled.

“Ella Lu, he’s been sick for years.”

“Yes, but he was upset and fighting with
his wife because of me when it happened. If I hadn’t been there, he would be
alive today and enjoying Christmas with his children and grandkids.”

I refused to be comforted or told any
different. I turned from her and closed my eyes. I didn’t open them again until
daylight shone through my window. I felt lethargic and stiff. My door opened
and I turned. It was my aunt, and she looked worried. I felt terrible about
that.

She approached me and tried to hand me a
smoothie. It looked like Doris was here.

“Drink that, or I’m calling the doctor,”
she demanded.

I slowly sat up and took the glass from
her hand. I complied, even though it was hard. My throat didn’t seem to want to
work right, and as much as my body craved nourishment, it was fussing at me. I
had deprived it for too long. She watched me until I finished every last bit of
it.

“Now get up and shower and put some
clothes on; and fix your hair and makeup. I expect you downstairs to open your
gifts in an hour.” She got up and walked out.

Aunt Lu believed that no matter how you
felt, doing your hair and makeup always made you feel better. I didn’t want her
to worry anymore, so I drug myself out of bed. I don’t ever remember feeling so
rotten, but my heart had never been ripped out like this before. This was
different than the first time around. I really thought we were going to be
married. I thought for sure, this time, I was going to have what I had always
wanted, Brady. But the past wouldn’t allow me the future I wanted so
desperately.