House Divided (19 page)

“My daddy plays,” he said to my surprise.

Interesting.

Brady led me to their formal dining room.
And I mean formal. I felt like I was transported into a regency novel and I was
underdressed. It seemed silly that the four of us were eating at such a large
table, but it was already set for four, and it looked like Brady and I would be
sitting far apart across the table from one another. I was beginning to dislike
his parents even more.

His daddy sat at the grand piano quietly
tinkling the keys. I didn’t recognize the melody, but it sounded nice. Brady
and I walked toward the instrument and his daddy looked up. He did not look
well at all. He had a sallow tone to his skin, and he had to use oxygen, but in
his eyes I saw Brady. That’s where Brady got his blue eyes. For some reason it
made me smile. His daddy looked at me oddly; I don’t think he was expecting a
smile, and to be honest, I hadn’t meant to. Both men were staring at me now.

I lightly touched the piano. “It’s a
beautiful instrument, Mr. Jackson, and you play well.”

He just kept staring at me. It wasn’t a
cold stare, like his wife, but it was still a little unnerving.

“You know, Ellie plays too, and she has a
beautiful voice,” Brady said.

It took some effort, I wasn’t sure it was
because of his health or the hate he had for me, but he eventually responded to
his son. “I think I remember you mentioning that.” Either way, so far this was
much better than his momma, which was surprising. The last contact I had with
them was in Pastor Norton’s office, and his momma came off as weak and his
daddy came off as bold and overbearing. Thinking back now, I think his momma
was putting on an act.

Brady pulled me close to him. “Ellie, you
should play and sing something for us.”

I looked at his daddy. He seemed confused.
It was really odd.

I looked back at Brady’s sweet face. “Um,
I don’t know … I haven’t really practiced in quite a while.”

His daddy shocked me and slid over on the
bench. Brady smiled and helped me sit down next to him.

I took a deep breath. I wasn’t expecting
to put on a show or be this near to his daddy, but Brady seemed awfully
pleased, and I didn’t want to disappoint him.

“Ok. Any requests?”

His daddy put some sheet music up in front
of me. I had to stop myself from acting shocked. It was “Crazy” by Patsy Cline.
The same song my Aunt had sung in the talent show she told me about, the one
where Mr. Jackson noticed her. I wondered why he would choose that. Did he
remember?

I couldn’t look at Mr. Jackson, but I
looked at his son before I began. “I haven’t performed in a while, so no
teasing.”

He kissed my head.  “Go ahead, darlin’.”

I did a couple scales first to get used to
the feel of their piano. It was a little tight, but workable. I was more
worried about sitting this close to his daddy. It was more than a little weird.

There was a small piano solo at the
beginning of the song, and as I played, I began to think I was a little crazy. I
had to put my ancient sight reading skills to use to sing and play the correct
notes. When I got to the part where I was supposed to sing, “I was crazy for
loving you,” I winked at Brady, and he gave me that country boy smile I loved
so much.

It wasn’t perfect, but for on the spot, it
was passable. Brady loved it and clapped heavily. I finally braved looking at
his daddy; he looked at me thoughtfully. “You sound like …,” he began to say.

But he was interrupted by Mommy Dearest,
and she did not like the scene in front of her at all. She looked at me with
her eyes ablaze. I swore she looked like she could breathe fire. She gave new
meaning to ‘if looks could kill.’ Brady looked between me and his momma. I
stood up and immediately wrapped my arms around Brady.

He didn’t even hesitate. He wrapped me up
tight. “Beautiful and talented. I’m the luckiest of men,” he whispered in my
ear.

I think we both were trying to ignore the
woman that bore him. To be honest, she kind of scared me. In fact, I think she
kind of scared Brady and Mr. Jackson too.

“Dinner’s ready,” she announced scathingly. 

Brady released me, but kept a hold of my
hand. I still couldn’t believe we were eating at a table that sat at least
twelve people. His parents each took an end and Brady and I sat in the middle,
but across from one another. His daddy struggled to his chair. He moved slowly,
with a cane, and it seemed to take great effort. Brady looked sadly at his
daddy. I felt for him. I knew how hard it had been for me to see my Aunt Lu
lying in her hospital bed after her surgery. I could only imagine how Brady felt.
We hadn’t really talked about his parents; I guess I should be a better
girlfriend and ask him.

Once we were all seated, a sweet looking
young maid rolled out a cart of food. I didn’t know they had a maid. I mean, I
guess we had a housekeeper, but she never acted in this capacity. His momma
looked at me haughtily, like I should be impressed. I just smiled as sweetly as
I could, but I was anything but impressed with her. She sneered at me. I looked
at Brady to remind myself why in the heck I was putting myself through this. He
beamed at me, and I felt the warmth spread through my body.

Their maid’s name was Annabelle. She came
around and began to fill everyone’s wine glasses. I turned mine over and
politely declined. I never drank. My aunt watched my daddy kill himself with
that stuff, and it broke her heart. She ranked alcohol with the vilest of all
vices. Brady knew how I felt about it, and he turned his glass over too.

This seemed to offend his momma. “So now
you don’t drink?” she scoffed. 

“Momma, you know I was never one to drink.
And I wouldn’t drink tonight anyway, I’m driving,” Brady defended his decision.

She just glared at me like I had created a
monster or something. I wanted to say, “I know it’s horrible that your son
doesn’t drink alcohol. I’m evil and must be destroyed.” I could see I would
never please this woman. I didn’t even think I wanted to. My perception of
Brady’s home life was being shattered. I assumed he had grown up like me, with
adoring parents and a happy, love-filled home. And maybe he had, and she only
acted like this because I was here, but I got the feeling it wasn’t just me.
I’m just saying, maybe her second car was a broom.

The dinner was very formal, too formal for
my taste. It was served by courses, and hardly a word was spoken. I tried to
eat as much as I could, but his momma’s constant scrutinizing glares and
glances made my stomach turn. I knew Brady was trying his best to be reassuring
with his loving looks, but that just irritated his momma more. Anytime he would
look at me or say something to me, his momma would try and direct his attention
to her. It was almost as if she was jealous. His daddy sat silently at the end,
drinking enough wine for both Brady and me. I almost couldn’t blame the guy. I
was desperate for an escape too, but I knew alcohol never helped a situation.
To say I was uncomfortable was an understatement.

Halfway through the main course of lamb
chops, his momma decided to go in for the kill, and guess who the prey was?
She’d had plenty to drink by this time too.

“So, young lady, our son informs us that
he may be moving, even though this is where his family and career are. Don’t
you think that’s selfish of you?”

Brady immediately came to my defense, but
I looked at him and told him with my eyes I could handle it. I looked at his
momma and told myself not to flinch. “Mrs. Jackson, Brady and I haven’t made
any final decisions about where we’ll live once we’re married.” She definitely
did not like me saying the “M” word, which made me want to say it all the more.
“Any decisions we make will be mutual and for the benefit of
our
family.
And I realize Brady has a career here, but I have one too.”

She sneered. “Yes, I guess you think since
you’re famous now, your career takes precedence and Brady should follow you.”

“I don’t believe any such thing. And fame
has nothing to do with why I wouldn’t want to live in Kaysville.”

Her face quickly turned the shade of the
deep red wine she was drinking. “And what is that supposed to mean, young
lady?”

“I won’t insult your intelligence or mine
with a response to that question.”

She had a lot of nerve to ask why I
wouldn’t want to live in Kaysville. So much for me winning his parents over.
While his momma sat there seething, I looked at Brady. I mouthed I’m sorry. I
couldn’t tell if he was upset with me or just the situation. I couldn’t stand
the thought of him being upset with me. I knew I shouldn’t have risen to his momma’s
obvious attempt to unnerve me, but I didn’t deserve her accusations or
implications. She had no right to judge me or talk to me like that.

I couldn’t eat anymore. I placed my linen
napkin on the table and stood up and excused myself. I asked Annabelle to
please direct me to the restroom. Brady stood as I left. I tried my hardest not
to cry as I silently followed her to the nearest restroom. As soon as I entered
the restroom, I locked the door and leaned against it and took several deep
breaths. I never wanted to leave a place more. The whole house seemed cold and
sterile. Sure, it was beautiful in appearance, but there was a terrible feeling
here.

A few tears escaped as I thought about
Brady and what he must be thinking about me right now. I knew it was too good
to be true to think that Eatons and Jacksons could be together. I forced myself
to get it together. I knew I couldn’t stay in the restroom all night. I just
wanted to go home.

The only person’s feelings in the room I
cared about were Brady’s, so with my head held high (because I was danged if I
would give Mrs. Jackson the satisfaction of seeing she got to me), I opened the
double doors with my fake confidence to find Brady and his momma in a heated
discussion that involved me. They didn’t notice me right away, so I took the
opportunity to look at his daddy. His daddy looked at me too. Maybe I was
mistaken, but his daddy almost looked like he was sorry. He also looked worn
out by life. And oddly, I had a desire to talk to him and ask him why, but that
chance didn’t come. Brady finally noticed me. He immediately rose and walked my
way. I still couldn’t read him. All I knew was that he wasn’t happy.

When he reached me, he softly stroked my
cheek. “Are you ok, darlin’?”

“Are you upset with me?” I whispered, so
hopefully his parents couldn’t hear.

He embraced me. “Never.”

I let out a sigh of relief.

“Are you ready to leave?” he asked.

“Please,” I practically begged.

Brady released me, and I immediately
missed the comfort of his arms. He turned back toward his parents. “We’re
leaving,” he said simply.

“What do you mean you’re leaving? You
barely just got here, and we haven’t even had dessert,” his momma protested.

Wasn’t this the woman who just over an
hour ago turned her nose up at my dessert? I couldn’t imagine why she wanted us
to stay other than she enjoyed torturing me.

“We’ll leave some of the cake,” Brady
offered.

“Don’t bother,” she sneered.

She really was messed up.

I again turned my focus to his daddy. I
had no idea why. I should hate the guy, but for some reason I was drawn to him,
and he seemed to be drawn to me too. I found myself walking toward him. I could
see Brady in him, and maybe that’s why I felt so comfortable in my actions. He
continued to stare thoughtfully at me as I neared. I wasn’t sure what I should
say or do once I got there, but I felt like I needed to do this. “Thank you for
letting me play your piano.” It was the only thing I could think of to say.

He surprised me by taking my hands. “Thank
you. You remind me of a girl I once knew,” he said quietly.

I knew who he was talking about, and for
some reason, it broke my heart. I desperately wanted to ask him why he left my
aunt. She deserved answers after all these years, but then I heard his wife
screech, “Isaac!”

He dropped my hands and immediately turned
to his wine glass and drained it all. He didn’t look at me again. I quickly
retreated back to Brady, and we promptly left. I didn’t even bother saying
goodbye or thank you. We walked back to the kitchen where Annabelle was. I did
thank her and complimented her on the food. Brady retrieved the cake that I had
gone to so much trouble making, and we escaped as quickly as we could.

As we left, all I could think to myself
was,
Houston, we have a problem
.

We didn’t say anything as we walked out.
In fact, we didn’t say anything until we were on the main road and Brady asked
if it was ok if we went back to his place. I said that was fine, but honestly,
I just wanted to go home and be by myself for a while. I think Brady knew it
and that scared him. The night probably couldn’t have gone any worse. It was a
reminder of why we probably shouldn’t marry, and why I’d been so hesitant about
it.

As soon as we pulled into his drive and he
turned off his truck, he turned to me. “Please say something, Ellie.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Just tell me what you’re thinking.”

I’m pretty sure he didn’t want to hear
what I was thinking, but it needed to be said, so I let it out. “Honestly, I
think your momma’s crazy and we’re crazy for ever thinking this could work.”

Brady took the stupid cake out of my hand
and placed it in the passenger seat. He took my face in his hands. “I’m going
to start looking for a job in Atlanta on Monday.”

“Brady, us moving away isn’t going to make
any of this better.”

“Then tell me what to do, Ellie. I’m
willing to do whatever it takes for us to be together.”

I grabbed his shirt, pulled him closer,
and kissed him deeply. I didn’t know what to say to him because I didn’t know
what he could do. I didn’t know what either of us could do. I just wanted to
get lost in him and make this whole ugly situation go away. I poured way too
much emotion into that kiss. It was the kind of kiss that could get you into
trouble if you weren’t careful, and honestly, I had thoughts of not wanting to
be careful. For a moment, I was tired of being careful. Thankfully Brady was
always careful with me, and he gently removed himself from me before anything
happened I would regret. But I noticed even he hesitated to pull away.

As we sat there trying to catch our
breaths, I stupidly began to cry. I hated this. I wanted to be with Brady, but
in doing so, I was making practically everyone around us unhappy, and even
maniacal based on his momma’s actions tonight.

“Ellie, I’m sorry, I would never take
advantage of you.”

“Is that why you think I’m crying?”

“It’s not?”

“No, I’m crying because, for a moment, I
wanted you take advantage of me, and because I’m tired of always doing what’s
expected of me and I’m tired of always trying to do the right thing and please
everyone.”

He took me in his arms and held me close.
He didn’t say anything for a several minutes. He just let me cry and get it out
of my system. “Do you really want me to take advantage of you?” he asked once
my crying ceased.

“Yes … I mean no. Am I terrible?”

He laughed softly. “Ellie, if that makes
you terrible, then I’m really horrible. I don’t think a day has gone by since I
was teenager when I haven’t thought about wanting to make love to you. But,
darlin’, I know you; and I know you would regret it if we don’t wait, and I don’t
ever want that to be something you regret.”

I started crying again. “I know it was a
stupid thought, a weak moment.”

He held me tighter. “Ellie, you’re
anything but stupid. You’re just upset, and after the way my momma treated you,
you have every right to be.” He kissed my head. “I would love nothing more than
to take you in my arms and know you in every possible way, but I’m going to put
a ring on that pretty little finger of yours first.”

I loved that he was so committed to
keeping our relationship the way that we had promised we always would, and that
in a moment of weakness, he was strong and nonjudgmental. It made me want to
marry him all the more, but after tonight, I just didn’t know how that was
going to work.

“How can we get married when it will do
nothing but cause unhappiness for our families?”

“Ellie, I’m sorry, but I don’t give a damn
who it makes unhappy. I’ve spent the last ten years regretting every day I
wasn’t with you. I’m done with regret, Ellie. We deserve to be happy too.”

I didn’t know if I’d ever heard Brady
speak so forcefully. We sat there for several more minutes, with him just
holding me in the silence of the night, but it was December, and even in
Alabama it gets cold at night. We finally made our way into Brady’s house. 

We set up on his couch, because seriously,
where else could we? He had no furniture. So there we sat, contemplating our
future (which basically meant Brady begging me not to let the experience at his
parents’ dissuade me from marrying him) while stuffing our faces with that dumb
cake that tasted like heaven. Neither of us had eaten much at his parent’s
house, so we were both pretty hungry. I think we devoured half of the cake.

Brady turned to me. “Darlin’, I never want
to hear you say you can’t cook. I’m beginning to think there isn’t anything
you’re not good at.”

I laughed. “You know I had help. And I can
think of lots of things I’m not good at.”

He set his cake down and inched closer to
me. We had been sitting on opposite ends of the couch. I think we’d both needed
to cool off for a while.

“Let me tell you some things you are very
good at,” he said as he worked his way over to me. The way he looked at me took
my breath away. He had learned how to be very sexy these last ten years. I went
from being cooled off to feverish in like ten seconds. He came within inches of
me and stopped, he just stared into my eyes and then he ran his strong hand
though my hair. “Number one, you’re good at driving me crazy.”

I raised my eyebrow at him and he amended.
“In a very good way. You’re all I can think about day and night.”

I smiled, and he continued.

“Number two goes with number one, and it
requires a demonstration.” He smiled wickedly before kissing me softly and
briefly.

“I think I may need another
demonstration.”

“My pleasure.” He kissed me one more time,
this time a little longer.

“Ok, where were we? Number three, you sing
like an angel. I had forgotten what an incredible voice you have. You even had
my daddy mesmerized. I’ve never seen him like that. I think he was very taken
with you.”

He sounded so happy about it. I wondered
if I should tell him why I thought his daddy was so taken with me. I wondered
if it would bother him that I reminded him of a woman he used to be in love
with, and that he chose a song that meant something to him and that particular
woman that wasn’t his momma.

“By the way, darlin’, what did he say to
you before we left?”

Well, so much for not telling him. I
wouldn’t lie to him.

I took Brady’s hand and looked into those
beautiful blue eyes so I could gauge his reaction. “He said I reminded him of a
girl he used to know.”

“Really? I wonder who?”

I nervously and without thinking began to
twirl my hair with my free hand.

Brady noticed. “What, darlin’?”

“It’s just … I know who he was talking
about and why I remind him of her.”

He kind of laughed and shook his head at
me. “How could you know?”

“Brady, that song your daddy had me play
and sing tonight has meaning.”

“What are you talking about? He’s played
that song for years. He told me once it reminded him of better days. That’s
all.”

I squeezed his hand and smiled at him.
“I’m sure you’re right.” I didn’t think he wanted to hear what I had to say, and
I didn’t lie. I think that song did remind him of better days. Brady looked
confused, but he didn’t say anything, so I tried to bring him back to where we
left off.  “Is there anything else I’m good at?”

“No,” he said without thinking, but he
quickly realized his mistake. “Yes, lots.” He was distracted, and I couldn’t
blame him.

I reached up and touched his cheek. “Are
you ok, Brady?”

He placed his hand over mine on his cheek.
“It was your aunt, wasn’t it?”

I shook my head yes. He sat back against
the couch and put his hands behind his head and let out a deep breath. I leaned
back too and turned toward him and began running my fingers through his hair.

He closed his eyes. “You said that song
had meaning, what did you mean by that?”

I hesitated a moment, and he opened his
eyes and looked at me.

I kept on stroking his hair as I
contemplated what to say. “My aunt sang that song for their high school talent
show. She said it was the first night your daddy really noticed her. He told
her she was beautiful. She also sang it in the talent portion of The Miss
Alabama pageant. Your daddy was in the audience that night. He asked my aunt to
marry him again after that pageant.”

“Again?”

“He had asked her right after she
graduated from high school, but she said no the first time.”

Brady closed his eyes again. I could tell
he was bothered.

I leaned over and kissed his forehead. “I
love you.”

At least he smiled and opened his eyes, but
I could tell this was still eating at him. “Do you know, I’ve never heard my
parents say they love each other? I figured they were just private about that
sort of thing, but I’m beginning to think they may have never loved each
other.”

“Brady, I’m sure that’s not true, they’ve
been married for well over forty years.”

“Ellie, I saw the way my daddy looked at
you tonight. I didn’t recognize it because it didn’t make sense at the time,
but now it makes perfect sense.” He sounded upset.

“What makes perfect sense?”

“He looked at you like I look at you. He
looked like a man in love. I don’t think he ever stopped loving your aunt.
That’s why he and my momma hate you so much. You remind them of her.”

I leaned back against the couch, too,
because I couldn’t bear to see the pain this revelation was causing him. And it
was entirely my fault.

“Do you hate me now too?”

He turned toward me and looked directly in
my eyes. “Darlin’, how could you think such a thing? It’s just a lot to take
in. I’ve known for a long time my parents didn’t have the best marriage, but
this … this is …”

“I know, and I’m sorry.”

He looked at me so lovingly as he wiped my
tears. He smiled at me—that smile I loved so much.

“It feels like we’re in one of those
ridiculous soap operas my aunt watches,” I said. “I just hope no one tells us
we’re brother and sister.”

He laughed somewhat loudly. I loved to
hear him laugh.

He pulled me onto his lap, “Believe me,
darlin’, the feelings I have for you have nothing to do with brotherly
affection.”

I leaned against his chest and laughed
too. But seriously, this was so “Days of Our Lives.”

We spent the rest of the night discussing
the seemingly sordid circumstances surrounding our parents’ lives. It was so
odd to think that his daddy and my aunt had feelings for one another all this
time. Obviously, Brady was upset by it. I didn’t blame him, I would be upset if
I’d had a daddy and he was in love with someone besides my momma. Obviously, my
biological parents could have had their own soap opera, but thankfully my aunt
spared me their drama, and to be honest, I rarely thought of them. Our current
drama was the story of our lives, now it was just unfolding another episode.
Brady and I were now the stars, and our parents were the supporting characters.
I was type-casting his momma as the villain. I was just hoping Brady and I got
to ride off into the sunset and that our drama would be rewritten as a romantic
comedy.

Brady said he could guarantee a happy
ending, I still wasn’t so sure. I mean, look at our parents; I’m sure they
thought their love was going to be forever, but yet they’d spent most of their
lives hating each other. Heck, I’d spent the last ten years hating Brady. That
thought alone reminded me there were no guarantees when it came to love. Ten
years ago, I would have never imagined that Brady would leave me—I thought we
were forever. And maybe we would be. Brady sure seemed to think so; I wished I
had his confidence.

I knew he was sorry for walking away the
first time, and I even understood why he did it, but it had left scars. Then
there was the fact I felt like we were living out some Greek tragedy. Even
after Brady took me home, I couldn’t stop thinking about our predicament. Brady
kept telling me this wasn’t a predicament and that we shouldn’t let our
families get in the way of our relationship, but I knew he was having a hard
time coming to terms with the fact that his daddy had some pretty deep feelings
for someone other than his momma and that person just happened to be my momma,
for all intents and purposes. Oh, and I kind of look like that person. And for years
people had told me we sound very similar when we perform. I felt like Brady
would resent my aunt, and how in the world could we ever have a wedding with
all of them in attendance? Could you imagine?

I knew I was worrying Brady, and I felt
terrible about it. For him, it was so cut and dry, black and white. I wanted to
feel the same way. There was no question that I loved him, and I wanted to be
his wife, but I had so many unanswered questions plaguing me. Like if Brady’s
daddy still loved my aunt, then why did he push her out of his life, and why
did he end up with Elizabeth? Did Elizabeth know how he felt? Was Brady right,
was that why they hated me? If that was true, how could I ever be a part of
their family? I hated seeing Brady argue with his momma over me. I never
realized how very much that woman hated me. She didn’t even want her husband
talking to me, which led me to believe Brady was right.