House Divided (15 page)

He pulled me tighter. “I’m happy to hear
that, Ellie, because I’m still not that kind of guy.” He pulled me onto his lap,
and he kissed me until I forgot I was an Eaton. He grinned wickedly once his
lips left mine. “But I do plan on convincing you that this is where you
belong.”

I reached up with both of my hands and
held his face and stared into those beautiful blue eyes of his. “Then this
could be a long night, cowboy.”

He kissed me again. “I sure hope so,
Ellie.”

I leaned back against him, and he pulled
me close.

“So, Miss Ellie, I think I owe you an
explanation.” He paused. “No, I owe you more than an explanation, and I promise
I’ll get there, but tonight we’ll start with that.” He took a deep breath.
“Ellie, first you need to know I only ended our relationship because of my
family. I promise it had nothing to do with Amber. I know it didn’t look like
that, and I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t believe me, but it’s the truth.
Ellie, there is and was no comparison between the two of you. Dating her was
the biggest mistake I ever made, besides leaving you. But at the time, I was
just trying to keep the peace during my dad’s first months of chemo.”

He pulled me even closer and whispered in
my ear. I’m not sure why, because we were very alone, but maybe he thought it
would be better said quietly. “Ellie, I had to ignore you. If I didn’t, I knew
I wouldn’t be able to stay away from you. You don’t know how many times I
wanted to throw in the towel and just beg you to take me back. Then prom came
and I couldn’t help but notice you. You looked so beautiful that night, and I
wanted to hold you in my arms, and I thought for a moment there I was going to
get to. I decided then I was done pretending that I didn’t love you, and that I
would do whatever it took to win you back. Heck, I even thought about begging
you to elope when you turned eighteen.”

I turned back toward him and looked at
him. “Are you serious?”

He put his hand on my cheek. “Dead
serious. Ellie, you were and are my dream. My football career and awards and
life meant nothing to me because I didn’t have you to share them with.”

“Why didn’t you?” I’m not sure I would
have eloped, but I at least wanted to know what stopped him.

“The look you gave me after your name was
announced that night killed me. I could see the hate and hurt in your eyes, and
what was worse, I knew I caused it. I knew you wouldn’t take me back. Then
school ended, and it was like you disappeared.”

A tear escaped. Brady lovingly wiped it
away. “I thought running away would help me forget about you, but I never
could.”

He pulled my face toward his and kissed me
gently. “I could never forget about you either, and I didn’t want to. You’re
part of me, Ellie. The best part of me,” he whispered against my mouth.

I hated to ruin the moment and the
sentiment, but I needed to know. “What about Amber?”

“What about her?” I could hear the
derision in his voice.

“I know you well enough to know you
wouldn’t marry someone unless you loved them. So you had to have loved her.”

He leaned his forehead against mine and
sighed. “I didn’t love her.”

I was confused, but I didn’t say anything.
I had a feeling I needed to be still and let him elaborate in his own time. And
to be honest, I didn’t mind the nearness or the stillness. I had waited years
for answers, so I could be patient. The silence went on for several minutes,
but it wasn’t uncomfortable like it had been the night before. It reminded me
of when we were younger and I would lie in his arms for hours; we didn’t have
to say anything. We were just soaking each other in.

In the midst of his contemplation, I ran
my fingers through his thick hair that had darkened over the years. It was now
closer to my shade of dark brown. I loved the feel of it. He must have too.

He reached up with both of his hands and
laced them through mine and brought them back toward our bodies. “Ellie, I’ve
missed you doing that. I’ve missed everything about you. I could never love
anyone else when my heart had been claimed by you when I was barely old enough
to even know what love was.” He kissed me sweetly and softly. “Ellie, I didn’t
love her and I didn’t ask her to marry me.”

I wanted to say something contradictory,
but he did know me well. He placed his finger on my mouth before I could get a
word out, and he grinned. “She and my momma decided that it was a good idea for
us to announce an engagement. They thought it would redirect the media frenzy
surrounding her mishap at the Miss America pageant. And they were right. I
didn’t even buy the ring.”

He sounded so beaten up.

“Why would you go along with that?”

“Because that’s what I had been doing for
years. I felt like my life wasn’t even my own then. I lived to make my parents
happy. I figured someone ought to be happy because I sure wasn’t. Amber was
like my momma’s pet. Sometimes, I felt like she loved her more than me. But
then my leg broke and Amber knew what that meant. She didn’t really love me
either. She loved the glory and the fame, and after the accident I could no
longer give her that. I broke it off with her, but told her she was free to
tell whatever story she wanted. I didn’t care, I was just so happy to be done
with her.”

“Brady, I’m so sorry.”

“Darlin’, what do you have to be sorry
about?”

“I’m sorry you were miserable.”

He cradled my face in his hands and just
searched my eyes. “I’m sorry I made you question, for even a second, how I felt
about you. If I could go back, I would have married you when I had the chance.”

“You really think I would have married you
when we were eighteen?”

He kissed me silly. When we came back up
for air, he had that wicked grin of his on. “I have no doubt, darlin’, I
could’ve convinced you to.”

“You’re so full of yourself, Brady
Jackson.”

“But I’m right.”

I rolled my eyes at him, but he probably
was right.

“So where do we go from here? I know some
things have changed, but Brady, your parents still hate me. I don’t want to
cause problems in your family again.”

“I say we go straight to the courthouse.”

I smacked him gently. “Be serious, Brady,
we can’t get married. We don’t even live in the same state anymore, and we’ve
been apart for ten years.”

He pulled me closer. “I’ve never been more
serious.”

“Brady.”

“What, Ellie? You know we belong together.
Why waste any more time?”

“I can give you a dozen good reasons,
starting with, my aunt would kill you if we got married at the courthouse, and
your parents would probably kill me if they knew we were having this
conversation. And ten years is a long time to be apart, what if we don’t like
each other anymore?”

In response, he kind of growled and turned
me over so I was lying flat on the blanket and he hovered above me, looking way
too sexy by the glow of the firelight.

“I thought you weren’t trying to seduce
me.”

He grinned and touched my face lightly.
“I’m not, but I’d like to be able to in the near future.”

Oh my.

“Brady, I think we should take this slow,
maybe try dating again before we rush into marriage.”

He leaned in and kissed me tenderly, first
on the lips and then he made his way to my neck. “We dated for two and half
years already,” he said in between kisses.

“We were kids, Brady.”

“Tell me you don’t love me, Ellie.”

I had to hold his face. He was driving me
crazy nuzzling my neck.

He looked into my eyes, and I think my body
temp rose to fever level.

“I can’t do that,” I whispered.

He smiled seductively.

“But, I still don’t think we should rush
into marriage. Have you even told your parents your intentions?”

He lay down next to me, and I found myself
once again in my favorite position, in his arms with my head on his chest. He
placed the blanket over us, but seriously, I was warm enough without it. He
kissed the top of my head, and then he sighed. “I told them I love you and that
I had every intention of winning you back.”

I could tell by his tone it didn’t go
well, but I had to ask. “And what did they say?”

“It doesn’t matter to me, Ellie.”

“Brady, can’t you see it does matter?”

“No, darlin’, it doesn’t matter. We’ve
already wasted ten years, and I don’t plan on losing you again. They know we’re
a package deal.”

I took in a deep breath. I didn’t know how
to respond. More than anything, I wanted Brady, but I just wasn’t sure I could
go through this again. And what if his parents could persuade him to leave me,
like they did the first time?

Brady replied to the silence as if he read
my mind. “Ellie, there’s nothing they can say or do to change my mind. I’m not
eighteen anymore. I know I’ve made mistakes, huge mistakes. And if I have to,
I’ll apologize to you until the end of time, but Ellie we belong together,
whether or not our parents approve. What matters is that we love each other.”

I sat up and propped myself against his
muscular chest so I could see his face and eyes.

He looked at me imploringly.

“What am I going to do with you, Brady
Jackson?”

He ran his fingers through my hair. “You
know what I want, Ellie.”

“I know. Let’s just take it slow. Ok?”

He took me in his arms again and kissed me
until I almost said, “Let’s go the courthouse first thing in the morning.” As
our lips parted, he gazed into my eyes. “Ok Ellie, I’ll do whatever it takes,
but just know I plan to change your name and residence as soon as possible.”

“Ok. Then you better saddle up, cowboy.”

I have a feeling this is going to be a
bumpy ride.

We spent the rest of the night making up
for lost time as we talked and kissed until the sun crept up in the eastern sky
and barely touched the lake’s horizon. I should have been exhausted, but I
hadn’t felt this awake in years. Neither one of us wanted to say goodbye, but
Brady had meetings to attend at the bank and I really needed to get to the
hospital. And I didn’t want to worry Doris when she arrived at the house and
saw my car and no me. I think we both enjoyed the feeling of not having strict
curfews and rules that we had to abide by.

As we talked through the night, my worries
of us not liking each other went out the window. If anything, I liked him more.
He had grown into a kind, generous, hardworking man; just like I had always
imagined he would. The only problem besides his parents was that he loved
Kaysville, and I wasn’t too sure I could after all that had happened. And I
sure as heck didn’t want to live this close to his parents, but as he talked
about his home, I could tell it was a labor of love for him. I decided we would
just see where things went, and we would cross those bridges when, and if, we
had to. Brady, though, was ready to run across the bridge to the other side and
then burn it down. There was no doubt I wanted to be with him, but I had some
serious reservations, and I would be tiptoeing across any and all bridges until
I could come to terms with them.

Now more than ever, I was determined to
get my aunt to talk to me about the past. I needed to know why the Jacksons
hated me so much. I knew Brady said he didn’t care where his parents stood when
it came to me, but it mattered to me, and it mattered to any future family we
may have together.

Brady put out the fire, and I could tell
his injured leg was a little stiff; I’m sure being out in the cold night air
didn’t help. I asked him about it, and he said once in a while it bothered him,
but I shouldn’t worry about it. He walked me up to his house so I could use his
bathroom. I couldn’t help but grin as we walked in. It was a beautiful home
with careful detail, but it was such a bachelor pad. The only furniture he had
was a leather couch, which sat in front of a huge flat-panel T.V., and he had a
card table and fold-up chairs in his breakfast nook.

I think he could tell why I was grinning.
“It could definitely use a woman’s touch,” he said.

“Um, you could say that. Do you at least
have bedroom furniture?”

“Does a futon count?”

I shook my head no and laughed.

He took me in his arms and looked at me
lovingly. “How’s this? We’ll go furniture shopping, and I’ll let you furnish
the whole house how you like it.” He sexily grinned. “Especially the bedroom.”

I reached up and touched his cheek. “I
thought we were going to take things slow?”

He reached for my hand and kissed my palm.
“I really don’t want to.”

I smiled. “Brady.”

“Darlin’.”

“You realize I own my own home, right? I
guess, technically I own two homes now. And I’m not too crazy about living this
close to your parents.”

He looked disappointed, but he bounced
back quickly. “Fine, I’ll start looking for a job in Atlanta and we’ll live
there.”

I got up on my tiptoes and pulled his head
toward mine and kissed him softly. “Brady, I love you,” I whispered. 

I don’t think I had ever seen him happier
than when I said those words. He responded by kissing me harder. “I love you,
Ellie, and I don’t care where we live, just as long as we’re together.”

“We don’t have to decide today.”

He picked me up and swung me around. “I
guess I better get you home.”

We didn’t say much on the way home, but we
didn’t need to. I loved how Brady would just glance my way and smile or hold my
hand. It was like ten years had been erased and we had never been apart. When
we arrived at my aunt’s house, he walked me up to the door and gave me a long
goodbye kiss. When he was done, he ran his finger along the length of my cheek
and looked into my eyes. “What’s it going to take before you’ll marry me?”

After that kiss I thought,
Not much
,
but I knew better than to say that. I thought for a moment. “How about you get
my aunt to call you Brady instead of that Jackson boy.” I knew that would buy
me some time to come to terms with some of the other issues we faced.

He pulled me close and chuckled. “Ok,
Ellie. Get ready to pick out a wedding dress and book the church.”

He sounded a little too optimistic. I didn’t
think he realized who he was dealing with. My aunt was going to give that boy a
run for his money, and I was going to take pleasure in watching it.

I took a long hot shower and mulled over
the last several hours. I had so many emotions running through me, from
blissfully happy to scared out of my mind, but the overriding thought was,
Brady
Jackson loves me and he wants to marry me
. I wanted to marry him too, but I
wasn’t sure what this town or his family would do about an Eaton-Jackson
reunion. I even worried about my aunt. If there was a wedding, it would be all
sorts of uncomfortable. I couldn’t imagine his parents ever inviting us over
for family gatherings. In essence, it would be as if Brady was disowned. Of
course, Benjamin and Kendra would be ok with it, so I was happy about that. But
I also worried about the children we would have and how they would be ignored,
or treated less by his parents, because I was their mother. I was concerned
about where we would call home. I knew Brady meant it when he said he would
move to Atlanta, but I could tell it disappointed him. I could see in his eyes
that he pictured us in his log cabin. Sure, I would love to be closer to Aunt
Lu, and I could technically work wherever I wanted to, but half of this town
hated me, and I wasn’t sure marrying Brady Jackson was going to win me any
points.

The hot water ran out before I could
resolve my thoughts and feelings. I wish I could be like Brady and only care
that we loved each other. Of course I knew that was the most important thing,
but I was very gun shy after the last ten years, and I knew how persistent his
parents could be. They made it nearly impossible for us to be together when we
were younger. I know Brady kept repeating he wasn’t eighteen anymore, but
family is family, and sometimes we do stupid things for them, like getting
engaged to a girl you don’t even love.

I called the hospital to check on my aunt
as soon as I dried my hair. I was running a little late. I hadn’t planned on
spending the night with Brady, but I would give almost anything to wake up in
his arms every morning. Maybe not outside in the freezing cold, but I had to
admit it felt like heaven this morning as I watched the sunrise, wrapped up
against him. My aunt was doing well, so I took my time getting ready. I knew it
was going to be a long day, living on no sleep. I hadn’t done that since my
college days. Stopping to get a large diet coke on the way to the hospital was
a must-do. I would be living off the euphoria of the previous night and
caffeine.

When I got to the hospital, they were
getting ready to move my aunt to the fourth floor, into a private, regular
room. She was looking better, but annoyed. She wanted to go home. I walked up
to her and kissed her cheek.

“Where have you been this morning, Ella
Lu?”

“We’ll talk when we get to your new room.”

She looked me over. “You were with that Jackson boy weren’t you?”

I just smiled. I didn’t think the nurse
needed to hear about my escapades. I also smiled because she didn’t call him
Brady.

“That’s what I thought,” she said. At
least she half smiled. I think she was still having a hard time coming to terms
with it. I knew she was being selfless and trying to make me happy, like she
had always done, but her hate for the Jacksons ran deep, and I knew it wasn’t
going to be easy for her to see me with Brady. 

I held her hand as she was being pushed in
a wheelchair to her new digs. That annoyed her too; she wanted to walk. But she
did squeeze my hand tight, and I liked that. We got her settled in quickly. She
was propped up with several extra pillows, as requested. As soon as the nurse
left, she asked me to do her make-up, hair, and paint her nails.

“Sure. Have one of the doctors caught your
fancy? Are you planning on beating me to the altar?” I teased her

“Why in the world would I do that after
all these years? Men are nothing but the worst kind of trouble.”

I laughed. “True, but sometimes they’re
worth all the trouble, right? I mean, you loved George Reed.”

She looked at me as if she wasn’t sure
what to say.

I stopped shaking the taupe nail polish I
had in my hand. “You did love him, right? You were married.”

“I came to love him,” she said as if she
were ashamed.

“If you didn’t love him, why did you marry
him?”

She didn’t answer, so I started painting
her nails.

After several minutes, she broke the
silence. “Ella Lu, I’m not proud of my decision, but he knew I didn’t love him
when we got married. He loved me, and he promised me that he would be such a
good husband that I wouldn’t be able to keep myself from falling in love with
him. He was quite a bit older than me, and he was very charming and, of course,
extremely wealthy, and at the time I was desperate to get away from my life, so
I agreed.”

I kept my eyes on her nails. I hoped that
would help her to feel more comfortable. “How long did it take you to fall in
love with him?”

“Longer than it should have.”

“Do you regret it?”

“Ella Lu, where are all these questions
coming from?”

I closed the lid on the nail polish and
set it down. I looked into her deep brown eyes. I needed to see her reaction to
this. “Brady wants to marry me.”

“What did you say?” she asked cautiously.

“Well, since he wanted to get married at
the courthouse this morning, I told him no.” I smiled.

“No child of mine will marry at the courthouse.”

“That’s what I told him, and he’s willing
to wait until I’m ready, so he can marry me properly at the church.”

She looked stoic, but sad.

“Aunt Lu, could you accept Brady? Maybe
even love him?”

“Accepting him and loving him are two very
different things, sugar.”

“Ok, well let’s just start with the
accepting part.”

“Does he make you happy, Ella Lu?”

I couldn’t help it, the tears came. My aunt
gave me her look, but didn’t say anything.

“Yes. Yes he does, but I can’t stand the
thought of disappointing you or upsetting you again.”

She carefully touched my cheek so as to not
ruin her freshly painted nails. “Oh, sugar, I’ve never been disappointed in
you.”

“Yes you have. I remember the look in your
eyes that night in the pastor’s office when you found out I had been seeing
Brady.”

“Ella Lu, I wasn’t disappointed, I was
worried. I could see myself in you that night. I could see the way you looked
at that Jackson boy; it was the same way I had looked at his daddy when I was
that age. And that boy looked and acted just like his daddy had.”

“Aunt Lu, what happened between the two of
you?”

“Ella Lu, it’s neither here nor there.”

“Please, Aunt Lu, I need to know. I need
to know why the Jacksons hate me so much.”

“Ella Lu, I’m tired.”

I knew she wasn’t that tired, but I had no
right to push her, especially in her condition. I stood up, and kissed her
forehead. “Ok, I’ll curl your hair while you rest.”

She closed her eyes, and I plugged in the
curlers she had Doris bring along with her cosmetics. Aunt Lu still kept her
hair long. It had been graying for years, but she faithfully dyed it. As I
brushed her hair, I could see the start of her roots, but I would not be
mentioning those, because I knew she would’ve called in her stylist to come to
the hospital. I’m pretty sure that would be frowned upon, but she wouldn’t
care.

I began sectioning off her hair and
rolling and pinning it. She was silent, but I knew she wasn’t sleeping. I asked
her if she felt like sitting up some, so I could roll the back of her hair.

She sat up and grabbed my arm. “Ella Lu …”

“Are you ok?” I asked. The way she grabbed
my arm worried me.

“I’ve known Isaac Jackson my whole life. I
was literally the girl next door. Both of our families lived on Elm
Street back then.”

I continued to do her hair as I listened.
I had been waiting to hear this story for far too long.

“Isaac was two years older than me and
friends with my older brother and your uncle, Zack, who died in Vietnam.
I was the kid sister who annoyed them, that was until my freshman year. I’m not
sure what changed. It was the year I had won my first pageant. I also won the
high school talent show. I sang, “Crazy” by Patsy Cline.”

She smiled as she remembered. It made me
smile too.

“The night of the talent show, I saw Isaac
sitting in the front row, and I noticed as I was on stage, he looked at me
differently than he ever had before. I thought maybe he thought I was silly in
my blue taffeta dress, but afterward he came up to me and privately whispered
in my ear that I looked beautiful.”