“Shut up!” Gary screamed, turning quickly to hit at the kid again. But Ricky had already turned from the window and was quieting down, curling up onto the bench seat.
Gary shot crosstown to the FDR Drive, up the Third Avenue Bridge, and then the Deegan Expressway. When he got to the Saw Mill River Parkway, he played with the radio again. This time he found a station playing Dave Brubeck. He tapped out the rhythms of “Take Five” on the steering wheel. The station, a college one, Fordham or Columbia, then played an entire Art Farmer record.
By the time the college station faded into static, he was past Poughkeepsie. He snapped off the radio and checked the cargo in the back. The kid was asleep, tight in a fetal position.
Fifteen minutes later, Gary left the Taconic. He maneuvered twenty more minutes through town and out into the country-side. The moon was up; everything looked cold and clean. Gary passed a few houses with jack-o'lanterns on their porches and remembered that it was almost Halloween.
He caught a quick glimpse of the house from the rise that led down to its valley. The thin glint of silver from the stream shone in moonlight. Two windows were filled with illuminationâone up at the cupola, the other on the ground floor: one of the living room lamps.
Five minutes later he pulled into the driveway, then off that to the half-circle offshoot that curled around to the front of the house. The porch light was off. He switched off the engine and got out of the van.
He slid back the door. The black kid stirred. The dome light was on. The kid shivered, tried to roll into a tighter ball.
“Ride's over, kid,” Gary said. He punched the kid on the thigh
Ricky shivered again.
“Get out.”
Ricky began to cry. He wouldn't open his eyes.
Gary breathed deeply, trying to keep down his impatience. He pulled at the kid's pant leg. Ricky pulled his leg up tight, rolling into a more compact form.
Gary put his foot up on the step and reached into the van, yanking the kid up off the bench seat.
“Get the fuck out,” he said.
“God no, God no,” Ricky moaned, sobbing freely.
Gary tightened his fist and punched at Ricky ribs. He landed two solid blows. Ricky's answer was to pull himself up even tighter.
“Fuck!” Gary shouted. His breath turned ragged and hard. He stalked to the back of the van, yanked open the door. He put his hand into the back well, searching until his fingers closed around the cold shaft of the tire jack's crowbar. He hefted it out and took three hard steps back to the side of the van.
“Get out!” He pumped the tire iron over his head and reached in, pulling with all his strength. He jerked Ricky up onto the seat, then out of the van.
Ricky fell to the road and lay moaning.
“You little
fucker
,” Gary spat, raising the tire iron in one hand and then transferring it to two.
“
Gary
.”
It was Bridget. He wheeled around, facing empty night. “Leave him there,” her voice said, somewhere close-by. “Go home.”
“I'm fucking invincible!” Gary shouted.
“Yes, but you have to leave him alone.”
“I don't have to do anything! You hear me? I DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING!”
He shouted, raising the tire iron high and bringing it down with all his strength on the kid's head.
But Ricky wasn't there. The jack hit driveway. Gary grunted with the dull shock.
“Where the fuckâ?”
“He's safe,” she said. “I told you I need him.”
“You fucking bitchâ” Gary began. His words were cut in midsentence. The tire iron was pulled from his hands. It struck him on the left side under his arm. He heard ribs crack. He dropped to his knees.
His vision cleared as the iron bar hit him again. A hot pain tore through his right forearm. Almost immediately, his shoulder went bright with pain and then numbness.
“Je-sus,” he grunted, collapsing.
The tire iron hit him on his right ankle and again on his shoulder.
“Do you want more?” Bridget laughed.
“I'll . . . kill . . . you . . .”
The iron struck his left knee. A blossom of white pain opened in his leg.
“Listen carefully, Gary. Leave now. If you come back, I'll kill you.” The iron bar struck across his back.
“I'm . . . invin . . . cible,” Gary gasped.
She laughed. “You never were.”
“I'm invin . . .” he insisted, but the fall of the tire iron on his right elbow ended his protestations.
“Last chance, Gary.”
Groaning, he pushed himself to his knees. Holding the side of the van, he pulled himself to his feet. He stood gasping, then leaned his way around the van to the driver's side and crawled in. When he sat up straight over the wheel, his eyes went blind with pain. He sat breathing heavily over the wheel until he could see again.
“Good-bye, Gary,” he heard her laugh, close-by his ear. He twisted the ignition key. The engine roared out of sleep.
He slammed the shift into reverse, backing down into the driveway.
Clouds were moving in, and in the peek-a-boo moonlight, he saw Ricky. He was lying where Gary had left him, the tire iron next to him on the tarmac.
Gary gunned the van back down the long drive to the street, barely missing a sturdy oak butting on the side of the drive.
Half doubled over, blinking sweat and grogginess from his eyes, he roared off toward the Taconic Parkway.
As it began to drizzle an hour later on the Major Deegan Expressway, he put the accelerator pedal to the floor and drove into the side of an overpass.
He awoke sometime later, alive. There was a fireman in a black slicker and hat standing over him. A cold rain was falling; red and white flashing lights reflected off the fire-man's wet uniform.
“Buddy,” the fireman said to him, “can you move?” Slowly, Gary stood, only the retreating aches of the tire-iron beating making him wince.
In the cold rain, the fireman helped him up.
“You sure you're okay?”
“I'm fine,” Gary said.
“Damnedest thing I ever saw,” the fireman said. “You have any idea how far you were thrown?”
The fireman pointed at the still burning, smoking, black, ruined mass of metal that had been the van, twenty-five feet away.
The fireman patted him on the back. “You should be real dead, my friend. Whoever you pray to, I think you owe him thanks.”
The fireman walked back to his truck, shaking his head. Gary stood in the rain, watching the van burn blacker, and suddenly he laughed.
“I AM INVINCIBLE,” he shouted up at the rain.
And I'm going to kill her.
He was at the circus with his father. They were sitting in wonderful seats, in the front row, and Ted had a huge box of popcorn in one hand and a magnificent pink wad of cotton candy on a stick in his other hand. It was his birthday, and he was nine years old.
He had looked forward to this day for two months. His father had promised him the circus, promised him he would free his schedule of surgery and spend the entire afternoon with him. They had gotten there early and watched the clowns practice their routines. One of the clowns had come over and stood before Ted and performed for him alone, juggling and lighting matches that disappeared into his mouth and then reappeared lit again and, finally, doing a trick with his hat that made it shoot of his orange wig with a popping explosion. It had been a wonderful afternoon, with three rings performing simultaneously, with trapeze artists and a lion tamer and a man who rode a motorcycle around the inside of a wire cage while torch flames licked at the tires.
And then, about halfway through the show, as Ted put the popcorn down between his knees to concentrate on the cotton candy, some of whose pink spider web strands were already stuck to his cheeks, he heard the one sound he had thought he would not hear today, the soft insistent sound of his father's beeper.
“Damn,” his father said, taking his cigarette from his mouth and grinding it out with his shoe, reaching to push the button on the pager.
“You promised you wouldn't bring it!” Ted protested.
His father's face bore a mixture of remorse and worry. “I'm sorry, Ted, it's Mrs. Morris, who I told you about. I thought for sure that Dr. Parks would be able to handle itâ”
“You promised! You promised!” Ted had risen from his seat, knocking the huge tub of popcorn over. His face was flushed red, his eyes filling with hot tears.
His father put his hand on Ted's shoulder. “I'm truly sorry, son. I'll call Mrs. Jacobsen, and she'll come stay with you the rest of the day.”
“I don't want my nanny!”
His father squeezed Ted's shoulder, bending low, trying to quiet the boy. “Ted, please, I have to go.”
“No!” Ted thrust the pink cloud of cotton candy up at his father, who warded of the blow with his hands, immersing them in the sticky mass.
Ted stood trembling, tears tracking his cheeks as his father quietly extricated himself from the cotton candy.
An usher appeared, and when Ted's father explained the situation, the usher offered to stay until Ted's nanny arrived.
His father began to move toward the aisle; as he reached it, he paused and glanced back at Ted, a pleading for understanding in his eyes.
“I want my mother!” Ted screamed. His father hurried up the aisle. “All of my friends have mothers. I want my mother. . .”
In the dream, the circus darkened, and now Ted was in a night place. He was very young. He heard a mixture of voices, away from where he was. He was on his back, and where he was was quiet and dark.
A crack of light appeared in the room, and he strained to see. When his eyes were open, he saw blurs; in the day, different colors, fuzzy blue and yellows. But the blurs
were getting
sharper. Today, for the first time, he had seen the edge of something hanging above him: a yellow thing smiling, with wings.
The crack of light widened; more light entered the room. He heard voices, louder.
Someone crying.
He knew the crying voice; he became very excited when it came near. The other voices stayed back. He began to kick his legs, move his hands expectantly.
She was crying. She leaned down over him. She rose like the moon above him, her face, and she murmured something to him, a crying sweet thing, and then she came close and kissed him, a warm tear on his cheek, a blur, but as she pulled away the blur began to sharpen
And then another voice came into the room, and came close, and put a blanket on him, and his mother's crying went away, and he became afraid, and for a moment as he was lifted, the blanket covered his just-focusing eyes, and he was blinded, and he panicked and began to screamâ
Brennan awoke.
“God.”
“You needn't call me that, sugar,” a yawning voice said.
Brennan sat up in bed. Beauvaque rose from a chair in the corner of the room. He wore a long red robe. He stretched his arms up, then rubbed his back. “
Lord
, these chairs weren't meant to be
slept
in.” His hooded eyes regarded Brennan. “You can see this morning, sugar?”
Full realization that he had regained his sight gripped Brennan. “Yes!”
“Ah.”
Beauvaque brushed something from the chair he had been in. It was one of the cats, a black shorthair with one white ear. It jumped onto the bed, purring, and began to knead at Brennan's foot under the covers.
“I do believe he
likes
you,” Beauvaque said, sitting on the end of the bed. He petted the cat. “I should tell you,” he continued, fixing Brennan with a fiercely even look, “that he hardly likes
anybody
.”
Brennan wondered briefly if Beauvaque was actually jealous of the cat's affection for him. He pulled his foot away beneath the covers, but the cat merely followed, pushing at it with his front paws, purring.
“My, my,” Beauvaque said, pulling his hand away from the cat.
“Perhaps I should leave,” Brennan said.
Beauvaque looked at him as if seeing him for the first time. “Oh, no, don't you worry about leaving just yet, sugar. I wouldn't
hear
of it. Not before you tell me just what happened to you yesterday. And I
must
insist on making you the finest breakfast you've ever had.”
Brennan sensed that he, at least, was not the source of Beauvaque's anger, which suddenly flared again as Beauvaque rose from the bed and slammed his fist into his palm.
“Is something wrong?” Brennan asked.
Beauvaque turned away from him, bringing his knuckles up to his mouth. Brennan heard a muffled sob.
“Are you all right?” 'Brennan said.
Beauvaque waved a hand behind his back at him; his body heaved in short sobbing gasps.