House of God (53 page)

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Authors: Samuel Shem

BOOK: House of God
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Renology: medical specialty dealing with kidney and urine.
Respiratory tech: respiratory technician, in charge of machines to aid respiration of patients.
ROR: Relationship On Rocks; frequent event during internship; cf. MOR.
Rounds: meetings to discuss patients.
Scapula: shoulderblade.
Septicemia: infection of the blood, leading to infection of major organs, and to septic shock, in which the blood pressure falls.
SICU: Surgical Intensive Care Unit.
SIEVE: an intern in the Emergency Room who admits too many patients, who does not BUFF and TURF patients out to the street (the process known as MEET 'EM AND STREET 'EM); opposite of WALL.
Sigmoidoscopy: process of introducing a long, lighted, straight tube, the sigmoidoscope, through the anus into the dark, twisted lower bowel to look at the feces and the pathology; a specialty of the House.
SLURPERS: House Academics, striving to lick their way up the academic medical cone toward the one position at the top—the Chief.
Stasis ulcers: erosion of the skin caused by pressure, often from lying in one position for too long; seen in debilitated patients who are unable to move themselves.
STAT: at once, immediately.
Steatorrhea: foul-smelling and oily diarrhea.
Straight bendover: nursing maneuver in which, legs held straight, nurse bends over bed, flashing ass.
Subarachnoid space: layer of spinal cord where cerebrospinal fluid circulates; aimed at in lumbar puncture.
Superior mesenteric insufficiency: syndrome in which an artery of the gut, the superior mesenteric artery, becomes blocked, resulting in loss of blood supply to bowel, necrosis, and foul-smelling infected stool.
Systolic: contraction of the heart; opposite of relaxation or diastolic; systolic murmur is one which appears during contraction.
TBC: Total Bowel Control, a concept of the Fat Man's, implying complete regulation of all bowel function.
Tern: Intern, the first of a series of House Staff members, including Resident, Junior Assistant Resident, Senior Resident, Chief Resident, Fellow, Junior Fellow, Senior Fellow.
Thorazine: A drug used to decrease anxiety, especially the severe anxiety related to psychosis: one of a number of mind-bending drugs used by the House Staff, others being Stelazine, Valium, alcohol, Elavil, Dexedrine, etc.
Triage: to sort according to severity of injury, so that the more severe are attended to first.
TURF: get rid of, as TURF a gomer to Urology; often preceded by a BUFF, as in BUFF and TURF; occasionally followed by a BOUNCE, as ‘I TURFED my gomere to Urology, but she BOUNCED back to me'; to BUFF and TURF, according to the Fat Man, is the essence of the delivery of medical care, the concept of the ‘revolving door.'
Uremic: a stage of renal failure in which waste products flood the blood.
UROLOGY: surgical specialty dealing with the urinary tree; ‘plumbing.'
Vagitch: itch in the vaginal region; nonspecific; common.
V.D.: Veneral disease.
Villae: Fingerlike projections of gastrointestinal mucosae lining the gut, main function being absorption of nutriments.
Visit: a medical teacher assigned to a team of interns and residents on a ward of the House of God; selected from the pool of Privates, Slurpers, and Fellows.
VTach: Ventricular tachycardia, rapid heartbeat in which the pacemaker is in the ventricle, is chaotic, and which often signifies impending death.
WALL: an intern in the Emergency Room who keeps patients from being admitted to the House of God, mainly by using the TURF known as MEET 'EM AND STREET 'EM; opposite of SIEVE.
Wing of Zock: addition to the House of God, financed by the astronomically wealthy philanthropoid Family of Zock, expressly dedicated to the bowel run of the rich, to contain the Room of Basch, and, ultimately, signifying hope.
Zebra: an obscure diagnosis.
Zock: hope.
Footnotes
To return to the corresponding text, click on the asterisk and reference number.
Chapter 24
*1
Each specialty has advantage of NPC: No Patient Care, in the Fat Man's sense of the term.
*2
Berry, Clinical Psychologist and Psychotherapist.

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