How Forever Feels (26 page)

There was no way to know how she was doing without contacting Jayne, Regan, or Ellie; and judging by the last look Jayne had given him, that probably wasn't his best choice. All he could hope for was that the three of them were helping Snip and giving her whatever she needed so she could…

Holy shit, that was it!
They
were what
Apollo4
needed!

Jack spun his chair so fast he collided with the corner of his desk and scared poor Pete. Scrambling for his pen, Jack's ideas tumbled out of his brain faster than he could write them down.

Across the board, focus groups listed Mercy as a favorite character among all players, but she was the hands-down favorite for the vast majority of female players. Most other games predominantly featured male characters, but fans had picked
Apollo2
over them because Mercy wasn't just a secondary character thrown into the game, she was a full-on, kick-ass character who didn't need to hide behind Kingle or any of the other men.

That's what the gaming world needed more of, and that's what
Apollo4
would give them.

Page after page, Jack scrawled ideas, scratched them out, rewrote them and then reworked them until he had them sorted out. Players would be able to choose from one of three new female leads in addition to Mercy: the peacekeeper, Justice; the renegade, Rue; or the one with the overactive conscience, Ethos.

Just like Mercy, each had her own strengths and each had her own weaknesses.

For weeks he poured over the development of the three new characters, building their backstories, creating a history between them, and then plotting different obstacles to throw at them. Every line he wrote, every idea he had, circled back to the creation of Mercy, and Mercy would be nothing if it hadn't been for Maya.

The only person he talked to outside of TMJ was Will, and those conversations were still a little awkward.

More often than not he ended up sleeping at TMJ, because everything was there, ready for him to write the next line regardless of what time of the day or night it was. And the sooner he got it all out, the sooner he could pack up and head north again. He could have left weeks ago and worked out of the Newport Ridge office, but he still wasn't sure Maya wanted him that close, so he'd waited.

He was done waiting.

By the end of November, he'd almost finished and was just sorting out a few final ideas and options on the final mission when the call came in.

“Yeah?
Griffin?
Yeah, hey, how's it?…Good, yeah, I'm working on it right now.”
Shit!
How the hell could he forget to add Griffin-freakin'-Carr's part into the game? And now he was going to have to do a little backpedaling. “No, absolutely, it's still a go…Our legal department's been busy is all. I'll have them get in touch with you…Okay, sure, send me their contact info and we'll let the lawyers hash it out…Yeah, it's going to be great.”

A little more back-and-forth, then Jack hung up and slammed his forehead down on his desk just as his boss walked in, snapping his gum like he always did.

“Don't tell me you screwed it up.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Spence.” Jack slumped back in his chair and grinned, knowing he'd just secured himself a spot on Spence's Christmas card list for the rest of his life. “I promised a friend of mine that I'd write him into
4
and I kind of forgot, so I have to—”

“Are you out of your mind? We don't write people into games, Jack,
especially
friends! That's a lawsuit waiting to happen.”

“But this guy's really keen.”

Spence blew a bubble and let it pop before answering. “I don't give a shit how keen he is. No.”

“You sure? I just got off the phone with him and he's ready to go.” Before Spence could say anything else, Jack turned his phone to show who the last caller was.

Spence's next bubble fell right out of his mouth onto the carpet. “But that says…no, you're screwing with me, aren't you?”

He was still gaping when a new email chimed in on Jack's computer. A couple quick clicks and he held out the printed message to Spence.

“His legal team, they're expecting our call.”

“Ho—” Spence's eyes were still bulging as they shifted from the page to Jack and back again. “Holy shit. How did you…no, don't tell me, I don't have time. I need to get legal on this.”

He whipped around to leave, then jerked back, picked up his gum and pointed at Jack's desk. “Get to work! We need to get this done before he changes his mind.”

Griffin wasn't going to change his mind, Jack knew that, but he still needed to get this part done—and fast. He hadn't seen Maya in twenty-three days, and that was twenty-three days too long.

He still didn't know how, but he was going to get her back.

“He's her lobster.”

Phoebe Buffay,
Friends,
“The One with the Prom Video”

The footsteps on the stairs were too heavy to be Jayne's; maybe it was Nick coming up to check something. But he usually called before showing up, so who…

Maya pulled open the door and stopped dead in her tracks.

“What
the
hell
are you doing here? And how did you even get in?”

Will inhaled deeply but didn't make a move to come any farther than the tiny landing at the top of the stairs. “Jayne let me in. I need to talk to you.”

“About what?”

“Can I come in?”

“About what?” she repeated.

He blinked slowly. “About Jack.”

Maya would have sworn every ounce of blood drained to her toes right there and then.

“Is he…” She stopped, swallowed, and tried again. “Is he okay?”

“Physically, yeah, he's fine.”

“Oh thank God.” With her hand pressed against her stomach, as though that would stop the flip-flopping, she stumbled back into the apartment. “Then what's wrong?”

Without waiting for her to invite him in, Will stepped through the door and closed it behind him.

“Can I get you some water or something? You don't look so good.”

“Thank you,” she snarked. “Just what every girl wants to hear.”

“I'm serious, Maya.” He was already moving around her toward the kitchen. “Go sit down.”

She didn't even argue with him, because she didn't feel very good at all, and hadn't for a few days, so instead she went into the living room to sit down while he rummaged through her kitchen looking for a glass.

Leaning her head back on the couch, she pressed her palm against her forehead and forced herself to ask. “What's wrong with Jack?”

Will didn't answer until he was standing in front of her with the glass of water.

“He's fucked up, that's what's wrong with him. And it's all your fault.”

“My fault?” she cried, sitting up so fast she not only sloshed her water but she made herself dizzy. “I haven't even seen him since…since…”

“Since the wedding, I know.” He lowered himself slowly to the far cushion, then leaned over his knees. “This whole thing, you and me, you and him, it's…I don't like it. I don't. But I'm guessing you don't really care what I like, do you?”

“Not even a little bit.”

He gave a halfhearted “what can you do” shrug and sighed.

“I don't expect you to believe anything I say—I wouldn't if I was you—but I'm going to say it anyway.” He looked straight at her, his blue eyes never wavering once. “I'm sorry, Maya. I was a total dick, and the only excuse I have is that I was scared. I knew the two of us were wrong together but I was too much of a coward to say it out loud, and I'm really and truly sorry for that.”

This was a Will she'd never seen before: humble and remorseful, and for a second she didn't know how to respond. Her stomach churned, so she took another sip of the water, hoping it would help her feel better and give her a little more time to digest what he was saying.

“I didn't come here to talk about me, though. This is about Jack.”

“What…what about him?”

God she missed him. She missed the way his smile made her feel; she missed the way he looked at her, his eyes so warm; she missed the scent of him on her sheets; and she missed sitting with him on the couch talking about everything and nothing.

“Okay,” Will said. “Understand the fact that I'm even here should be proof enough that this is serious, but I wasn't kidding before: He's fucked up. In twenty years he's never done anything he thought might piss me off, and I know that for the first few years it was because he thought we'd send him back to that group home, but even after that. When he told me about you and him…yeah, I'm not gonna lie, I wanted to beat the living shit out of him.”

She couldn't help snorting at that.

“I'm not saying I could do it,” Will said, smirking. “Just that I wanted to. But then I realized for him to actually tell me, when he knew how pissed I'd be, he had to want it more than anything he'd ever wanted before. You should've seen him, Maya. He was prepared to walk out of that room and never see us again if that's what it meant.”

“He was?”

“Yeah! And then the next thing I know, you go and tell the poor guy to fuck off.”

“I did not say that.”

“Maybe not in so many words, but we both know the only time you get that wound up is when you love something—or someone. A guy that big…jeezus, Maya, you brought him crashing down without so much as a blink.”

“That's not true,” she said, wishing her eyes would stop burning so much. “He's the one…he…”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, he knew about that chick at the bachelor party, so what?”

“What do you mean ‘so what?' He should've told me!”

“But he didn't because he didn't want to be the one to break your heart.”

“But—”

“Stop, just stop.” He sat back and huffed out a breath. “You've got this backwards, Maya. I'm the one who screwed you over; I did it, not Jack. You can't blame him for trying to protect you—or me, for that matter. That's what he does. If you're going to be pissed at someone, be pissed at me. It's my fault, not his.”

Her stomach did another roll, this time sending bile halfway up her throat.

“Look, I'm not real happy about being here, but you have to know I've got no reason to lie about this. You think I want my ex-wife hooking up with my best friend? Fuck no, but bottom line, he's my best friend, and after all the shit I've put him through over the years, I figure it's my turn to have his back.”

“I can't…”

“He loves you, Maya, so quit being so goddamn stubborn and call him.”

Maya set her glass of water on the table, then pressed her fingers over her mouth. This wasn't going to end well.

“Will…”

“No, don't ‘Will' me, just pick up the phone and call him.”

Maya leapt off the couch and bolted, not for the phone, but for the bathroom. She made it, barely, and didn't appreciate it when Will came in behind her with her glass of water.

“Told you you didn't look good.” He made sure her shaking hands had a grip on the glass before letting go, then tugged the towel off the rack and handed it to her, too. “So maybe wait until you're done barfing and then call him.”

Normally, that would have been wise advice, but as Maya slumped against the bathroom wall running the calculations through her head again and counting backward through the weeks, there was no getting around it: It'd be a while before she stopped barfing.

And she couldn't be happier. Or more terrified.

Was it messed up that of all people, it had to have been Will who'd made her see what she'd been too angry—and too scared—to see before? Sure it was. But did it matter? No. All that mattered was getting to Jack before he changed his mind.

“He waited four years,” Will said, refilling her glass. “He can wait another day or two.”

Maybe, but she couldn't. She needed to get off that floor and get moving…and she would, just as soon as she could stop throwing up.

Brand spankin' new passport in hand, Maya waited her turn at the border crossing, then merged into traffic that swept her along I-5 toward Seattle. How did people drive in this traffic all the time? Vancouver was bad, but this was crazy, and it seemed like every five minutes there was more construction.

She never would have found TMJ if it wasn't for the GPS in her car, and even then, parked right outside the front door, she couldn't believe she was there. Could she do this? Did she even have a choice? No, no she didn't.

The bold colors on the walls, along with the various gaming stations in the reception area, made it look like a kids' play area at the mall, which was fitting, because the guy behind the desk looked like he was about fifteen.

“Hey,” he said. “How's it?”

“Uh, yeah, good, thanks. I'm sorry, I don't have an appointment, but I was hoping to speak to Jack Rhodes if he's available.”

God, she sounded like she was making an appointment for some financial adviser or something.

“Yeah, hang on, I'll go find him.”

“Oh, okay.” Her heart racing, her throat dry as a cork, she lifted her hand and called after the kid. “Thank you!”

She'd paced one length of the reception area before Pete came bounding toward her, ears soft, tongue hanging out the side of his mouth.

“Oh thank God,” she murmured, pressing her forehead against his. “A friendly face.”

A second later, the kid came sauntering back.

“That's Pete,” he said. “Kind of like our mascot.”

Smiling, Maya continued to rub Pete's neck just the way he liked. “I know. Pete and I are old friends, aren't we?”

“Cool. Yeah, looks like Jack's in with legal right now, so I don't know how long he'll be, but I told Jessie to tell him you were here.”

“Is it okay if I wait?”

“Fill your boots. Play around on the game stations if you want; there's soda in the fridge, snacks over on the counter…”

For the first little while, she just sat on one of the incredibly comfortable couches, flipping through various computer and gaming magazines with one hand while continuing to pet Pete with the other. When she'd finished skimming them, which is all she really did because she had no idea what any of it meant, she finally picked up a controller and turned on
Apollo2
.

Up first, Sector Selwyn—maybe it'd be easier using the system as a partner instead of Jack. She loaded up Mercy and zipped her around most of the junk being shot at her and was almost to Selwyn when his voice made her drop the controller.

“Snip.”

Oh, God. There he was. So big, so beautiful, and so far away standing at the corner of the reception desk.

“I, uh, oh, hi.” Scrambling for the controller, she dropped it two more times before managing to set it on the table. “Um, hi.”

The kid at the desk cocked his eyebrow as he leaned closer to Jack. “Dude, you gotta teach her how to hold the controller. Couple times there I thought she was going to whip it at my head.”

Jack's mouth twitched slowly then spread into a huge lopsided grin, and Maya knew if she died right there, she'd die happy. Knees quaking, she took a small step forward, bumped into the corner of the couch, steadied herself, then took another step.

“Can we, I mean, do you have a minute?”

“Of course.” He stepped back, waved her around the desk, then held his hand up in front of Pete. “Stay.”

Okay, so his office was walled with windows and everyone could see in. That was okay, she could…

Jack closed the door and immediately started pulling cords to close the blinds.

Oh thank God.

Her heart racing, she chewed at least the top layer of skin off her bottom lip by the time he finished.

“Uh…so…hi.”

It was all she got out before he pulled her into his arms, lifting her clear off the floor, and kissed her, his big grin never slipping even a little bit. Maya wrapped herself around him, arms and legs, and held on in case he ever decided to let her go.

His kiss went from hard and hungry to slow and indulgent, to nothing more than his lips feather-brushing hers, and when he finally eased back to take a breath, she took his face between her hands and looked at him, taking in every little bit she'd missed so much.

“I was beginning to think I'd lost you forever,” he whispered.

“I'm sorry, Jack. I just—” It was then she noticed the boxes. Lots of them. Stacked up all over his office. “Are you going somewhere?”

“Yeah.” He carried her over to his big leather chair and lowered them both down, so she was sitting facing him on his lap. “I was going to find you. I screwed up, I know that, and I'm sorry, but holy hell, I love you. Whatever it takes, Snip. You and me. We. Us. I'm going to make it work.”

He'd melted her plenty of times before, but that time she was pretty sure he'd done her in.

“You didn't screw up,” she murmured, tracing her finger along the line of his jaw. “And I'm sorry I blamed you, that was so horrible, and if Will hadn't pointed it out to me, I might not have realized it.”

“Will? You talked to Will?”

“Well, he actually came to talk to me, but none of that matters.”

She smoothed her fingers over his forehead, easing the frown away, then leaned in and kissed him achingly slowly, not letting him hurry her, not even when he moaned and clenched his fingers around her hips.

“You have no idea how happy I am to see you,” he said, his voice low and thick.

Maya wiggled her butt against his lap and snorted. “I have a pretty good idea.”

“That's not what I meant,” he growled over a grin. “But since you brought it up…”

“Whoa there, slugger.” She pressed her fingers against his mouth and laughed when he kissed them instead of her. “I actually came here to give you something.”

“What, like an early Christmas present?”

“Uh, yeah, sort of, I guess, but I don't think what I'm going to give you is something you'll want to keep.” She pushed off his lap and managed to dodge him when he tried to pull her back. “Where's my purse?”

“You dropped it by the door.”

“Right.” Scooping it up, she hurried back to his chair and climbed back on his lap. “Okay, close your eyes and hold out your hand.”

“Snip.”

“Do you want it or don't you?”

He immediately closed his eyes, held out his hand, and waited.

“Don't open them until I say, okay?”