How Many Chances (2 page)

Nathan arrived a short while later to see
if he could help. He rang a friend still in the police force and asked them to run a check on her credit cards. But when they were told she hadn’t used them in the past 48 hours, Cole, who had been pacing anxiously at that point, slumped down on to a chair and buried his face in his hands.

“Where the hell is she?” he said when he finally looked back up
pleadingly at the others. “Please tell me she is okay and she is gonna come back.”

And that how the next five days
went. Cole tried everything he could think of to find her. He rang Gus and Nan and Pop repeatedly but they hadn’t heard a thing and were all becoming very worried about Ally too. He barely slept or ate anything. Rosie, who was devastated to find out about Ally and Cole, was worried sick about Cole. At first she had been so angry with him and hurt he hadn’t told her about the baby either. She told him just how disappointed in him she was. But as the days past her disappointment turned into concern as she watched this confident, and sometimes overly cocky man crumble and break a little more, with each passing day.

Cole also received several angry calls from Steph demanding he come to see the baby. Cole knew he was being a shitty father, but he couldn’t leave Dublin until he at least knew Ally was safe.

So now six days since he’d last seen Ally, he sat staring into the fire, trying to find comfort in the bottom of a glass and prayed that today would be the day. It was New Year’s Eve and he couldn’t bear the thought of starting a new year without Ally.

He had spent the day
, once again searching for her. He started as he had every day at her apartment. Caitlin had given him her spare key.

Ally’s
apartment was cold and empty and like everywhere else, her warm and loving energy was so noticeably missing. He called at her grandparents’ house, Gus’s house and even called into Sid’s house once again. Then after he had driven around all the place’s Caitlin said she loved to go to when she needed time to think, he headed back to his house to wait once again for some news.

He didn’t know just how much more he could take. He wanted her back. He needed her.

He brought the glass of whiskey to his mouth but just as he went to knock it back his phone rang.

He looked at the
phone and saw Caitlin’s name flash on the screen. He heart instantly began to hammer rapidly in his chest. He took a deep breath and pressed the accept button and said a silent prayer.

“Caitlin” he said nervously
as he heart hammered hard and fast in his cheat. “Please tell me you have good news?”

“I found her,” Caitlin
confirmed.

Ally stood and stared at her reflection in the mirror on the back of the bathroom door. She knew she looked like hell. But then again, six days of being unable to eat and or sleep will do that to you.

As much as she tried not to, Cole was all she could think about. Every time she
closed her eyes she could see his face. She missed him so much. She remember his touch and she longed to have him hold her in his arms again. No matter how hard she tried she just couldn’t push him out of her heart. But he had broken it too. How could she ever forgive him now?

On Christmas night, after Cole left
, Ally curled into a ball on the floor and sobbed for about an hour. Finally when her head was pounding and her eyes were raw and stinging her. She slowly picked herself up off the floor.
I need to get a grip,
she thought to herself. She made her way to her bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. The last time she was in her bedroom was when Cole found her after the Jason incident.

The memory of how Col
e had been so gentle and caring came crashing into her mind and a fresh wave of sobbing took hold of her, but this time she fought the tears back. She sprung up from the bed in a moment of clarity. She need to get out of the apartment and put some distance between herself and all the memories that this place was filled with. Both the good and the bad ones.

She grabbed her suitcase from beneath her
bed and dropped it open on top of her bed. Walking to her wardrobe she quickly threw open the doors and took a deep breath.

She grabbed some clothes, n
ot really paying much attention to what she was grabbing and threw them into the case. She went to her chest of drawers next and pulled open drawer after drawer. She pulled out underwear, t-shirts and some jeans from them and threw them into the case also.

She snapped the suitcase shut and pulled it from the
bed. She dragged it to the living room and dropped it on the floor as she picked up the phone. She phoned for a taxi because she knew she was too upset and too exhausted to drive anywhere.

When the taxi
driver rang the buzzer ten minutes later, her heart almost stopped. She held her breath as she pressed the intercom and felt relief wash over her when she heard the taxi driver’s voice on the other end.

As she left her apartment
she bumped into Andy, the guy from the apartment across the hall and Ally sighed. She wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone.

“Hey Ally,” Andy said in his usually friendly tone. “I was just coming to get you. We are having a party
. You have got to come over and join us.”

“Hi Andy
,” Ally replied as brightly as she could manage. “I would really love to but I am just heading out. I have to go somewhere.”

Andy looked at the suitcase and then back to Ally.

“Heading off on holidays?” he asked her and grinned.

“Something like that,” she shrugged. “
Hey actually, can you do me a favour. You know my friend Caitlin?”

“Your hot friend?” he asked and his grin widened.
Andy had fancied Caitlin for as long as he lived across the hall from Ally, but Caitlin wouldn’t even give him the time of day.

Ally couldn’t help but smile at his words. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small white envelope and held it out to her neighbour. She had scribbled down a short note to Caitlin while waiting on the taxi because she knew Caitlin would be the first one to come looking for her.

“Can you give her this if she drops by?” Ally said, handing him the letter.

“Sure,” he chirped brightly back and stuck it onto hi
s back pocket. “Oh, and happy Christmas Ally.”

His word
s hit Ally like a kick to the stomach. She had completely forgotten it was Christmas. Right in that moment she never felt more alone. It was Christmas day and she was standing in a hallway with a suitcase and a broken heart and the feeling she really didn’t belong anywhere, anymore.

“
Happy Christmas Andy,” she replied and smiled, then turned and headed towards the lift.

Twenty minute later she found herself standing in front of a big black front door. She took a dee
p breath and reached up and rang the doorbell.

As soon as the door opened
and she saw Sid, she began to sob again. Without saying a word he wrapped her in his arms and led her into the house.

“I am sorry I just showed up here,” she sniffed
as she began to regain control. She was sitting on Sid’s sofa with him sitting next to her. He just sat quietly with one arm draped around her while she sobbed softly, her face buried in Sid’s chest.

Sid had seen the news reports about Cole and the baby and Ally didn’t know if she should be grateful she didn’t have to explain the entire mess
to him or be mortified at the fact that all her friends knew the huge mess that was now her life. “I just didn’t know where else to go. I couldn’t stay in the apartment. And I couldn’t face going back to my grandparents’ house.”

“You know you can always
come here Al,” Sid said as he filled the empty glass in front of Ally with wine. “I am just sorry you have had to go through this. I would love to kick that assholes ass right about now. Who does he think he is treating you like this? I would love to teach him a lesson.” Ally cringed at Sid words. She was so embarrassed.

“Please
, I really don’t want to talk about it anymore,” Ally pleaded. Her heart was breaking, all she could remember was Coles face when she told him to leave and it was killing her inside. “I am so tired, I just feel so exhausted.”

“Why don’t you try and get some rest?” Sid said, reaching
over a squeezing her hand. “I’ve already put your case up into the spare room. You can stay here as long as you like Ally, you know that.”

Ally hugged Sid and kissed him on the cheek.

“Thank you,” she whispered as she could feel the tears pool in her eyes once again but she quickly blinked them away. Before she headed up the stairs, she made Sid promise he wouldn’t tell anyone where she was. He reluctantly agreed.

When she reached the room, she didn’t even bother getting stripped. Instead she just climbed into bed, curled into a ball, buried her face into her hands and
sobbed until exhaustion took over and sleep took hold.

She woke with a start the next morning when Sid gently shook her and placed a coffee on the night stand next to her.

“What time is it?” she asked as she pulled herself up in the bed still half asleep. She rubbed her sore eyes, which she knew were probably still puffy and swollen from the countless tears she had shed.

“It’s just after t
en.” Sid said as he sat down on edge of the bed and looked at Ally, his eyes filled with concern. “Did you slept at all?”

“I have no idea what time I passed out at.” Ally replied honestly.

“You look like hell,” Sid sighed. “Maybe you should just try and go back to sleep.”

“Not sure I can go back asleep now,” she reached over and picked up the coffee from the nightstand. She didn’t want to admit that she was a
fraid to sleep because all she could dream about was Cole. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t push Cole out of her mind.

“Caitlin called,” Sid said, suddenly shifting nervously on the bed. Ally’s heart almost stopped as a sudden feeling of panic washed over her. She wasn’t ready to face anyone else and she knew Caitlin would be straight around. Sid could see the worry etched across Ally’s face. “Don’t worry I said I hadn’t talked to you.”

“Good,” Ally sighed with relief and looked nervously at Sid who was just watching her still with concern. “Sid I am not ready to see anyone.”

“Ally, you are welcome to stay here as long as you need to,” Sid replied. “But there are a lot of people worried about you.” He paused for a moment, unsure if he should continue or not.

He took a deep breath before he did. “Cole was at Caitlin’s, Ally, she said he is in a bad way. He went to your apartment looking for you this morning. Caitlin said, as much as it kills her to admit, he seem genuinely heart broken. He just wants to talk to you.”

Ally didn’t reply.

“Maybe you should talk to him,” Sid said nervously.

Ally’s head snapped up and she stared at Sid in disbelief.

“What happened to you wanting to kick his ass?” she snapped a little more abruptly then she had intended to.

“I do want to kick his ass,” Sid replied defensively. “
But you look like your heart has been ripped out of your chest and Caitlin said Cole is in a bad way. Maybe you two just need to talk, give him a chance to explain.”

“Shit Sid!” Ally snapped as she kicked back the blanket and jumped out of the bed in one fluid movement. “I thought of all people
, you would understand. He lied to me. He has a baby for Christ sakes. Maybe I should just leave. I was wrong to come here.”

“Ally, I am sorry,” Sid said standing up to face
her. He took hold of her by the arms and turned her to him. “Please don’t leave. I don’t want you going through this on your own. I won’t tell anyone you are here if that is what you want, and I won’t mention Cole again. I promise AL. I’m sorry.”

Ally knew she was going to cry again so she quickly pinched her eyes shut and swallowed the knot of grief that was almost choking her.

“Okay,” she whispered. “I’ll stay here. But you have to promise you won’t push me Sid. I can’t handle this right now.”

“I promise,” Sid reassured her.

“Is it ok if I have a bath?” she asked, finally allowing her eyes to open and meet Sid’s,

“Of course,” he replied.

Ally grabbed her iPod and mini plug in speaker from her hand bag and headed towards the bathroom. Sid gave her some clean towels before she locked herself in the bathroom.

She switched on her iPod and set it on shuffle and the
n turned and switched on the taps and began to fill the bath. When the bath was full, she quickly undressed before she climbed into it and slowly sank down into the water.

As she
sat there, immersed in the hot water she closed her eyes and once again her thoughts were consumed by Cole. She longed to see him. She longed to have him hold her in his arms and tell her this was all just a mistake. But she knew that was never going to happen. She could barely breathe, she needed him. But she knew she had to let him go. He lied to her and he broke her heart.

As the song that was playing on her iPod ended
, the sounds of Kiki Dee’s ‘Amorouse’ filled the bathroom. The words of the song hit her like a steam roller. “Should have told him, I’d do anything if I could hold him, for just another day.” As these words echoed around the bathroom a heart wrenching sob escaped from deep inside her, as she slipped deeper beneath the water. She loved Cole and she wanted him. How was she ever going to go on without him?

As the days past her spirit
s fell deeper and deeper. She refused to look at the news. All they talked about was Cole and the mystery women who had his son and Ally couldn’t bear to listen anymore. She did wonder how she had never realised just how well known or successful Cole was. How had she been so clueless?

S
he knew Sid was upset and worried about her. He reluctantly returned to work on the Friday after Christmas, three days since Ally had arrived on his door step. But he wasn’t happy at the thought of leaving her alone. Or the fact she was still refusing to answer any of her friends or family’s calls.

He
also wasn’t happy knowing he would have to face Gus and keep it a secret he knew where she was. And he told her that too.

He had pleaded with her again and again to at least call her grandparents or Caitlin
and tell them she was alright but Ally refused. She just couldn’t face anyone yet. She was embarrassed and hurt. She wasn’t ready for all the questions she would be asked.

While she was alone in the house she locked herself away in her room curled into a ball on the bed, her iPod blaring
in her ears. Every time Kiki Dee came on, the words ran around her head again. She wished she could have had just one more day with Cole.

If she had have known that Christmas Eve morning
was the last time they would have been together. She would have paid more attention. She would had remembered everything he said, everything he did. God she missed him so much.

She missed him so much
that she could barely breathe. The grief was suffocating. She longed to feel his lips against hers. To smell him once again. She just wanted to see him and tell him how much she still loved him. Because she did. Despite everything that she felt inside. The one thing she couldn’t deny was she still wanted him.

Sid arrived home with
a Chinese takeout, as it was Ally favourite, he thought it would finally get her to eat something but she barely picked at it.

They were just clean
ing up when doorbell rang. The blood drained from Ally’s face as she looked at Sid in panic.

“It’s ok,” Sid reassured her. She was extra jumpy since Cole had
phoned Sid the night before. He was just checking again if Sid had heard from Ally. Sid wasn’t happy to be still lying to everyone. But she pleaded with him, explaining she just need some time and space. “Go upstairs. Don’t worry, I will get rid of whoever it is.”