How (Not) to Fall in Love (10 page)

He leaned against the sink. “You want to talk about it?”

I hesitated. In some ways, it was easy to talk to him. But the person I really needed to talk to was Mom. “Maybe later,” I said. “Right now I need to get home.”

“Will you be able to drive okay with your hand like that?” he asked as he packed up the first aid box.

“Not an issue. I took the bus.”

“What about the truck?” He glanced up.

“I’m trying to save gas money. That thing gets like ten miles to the gallon. Plus, it’s been blowing more blue smoke lately.”

“How long is your bus ride?”

“About forty-five minutes from my house to here. I’ve got one transfer. I don’t mind, though. It gives me time to read and listen to music.”

“Buses don’t run as often this late,” Lucas said. “When were you supposed to catch one home?”

Oh crap. I looked at my watch. 10:33. I’d missed the 10:19, plus we still had to finish closing up. I pulled my phone out of my pocket to check the schedule app I’d downloaded.

I’d be lucky to catch the 11:21. Great. I sighed heavily.

“I’ll give you a ride,” Lucas said.

I stared at him. Ride home with Lucas? Just the two of us?

“Uh…I’m on the other side of town. It’s okay. I’ll just wait in here until it’s time for the bus.”

“No way,” he insisted. “The later it gets, the weirder the bus passengers get.”

“Worse than the Harry Potter Knight Bus?”

He grinned. “Yeah. Besides, Charlie would kill me if I let you wait here by yourself for the ghost bus. Let me help you close out the register, then we can blow this pop stand.”

Liz had left me written notes, but I sat back and cradled my hand while Lucas pushed buttons until the register spewed out a long tape showing all the day’s sales. We counted all the cash and then added up the credit card receipts.

Lucas grinned. “Now let’s see how much free stuff Liz gave away.”

“Huh?”

“Pay attention,” he commanded.

The register tape said we had sold $179.45 worth of food and drink. The cash and credit card receipts added up to $159.37.

“Net loss of $20.08,” Lucas said. He sighed. “I don’t know how she does it.”

“Does what?” I was confused.

“Gives away stuff for free and still manages to keep this place open.” He shrugged. “Charlie says the rent for these places is really cheap. Somehow the two of them manage to pay it each month.”

“Does Charlie give away stuff, too?”

Lucas grinned. “Are you kidding? Of course he does. He’s a total sucker. So is Liz. Guess they’re made for each other that way.”

“That’s pretty cool.” A bitter laugh escaped me. “Maybe if things hit bottom for Mom and me, we can get free food from Liz. And some clothes from Charlie.” I wanted to snatch the words back as soon as I said them.

Lucas gazed at me for what felt like forever. “How bad is it, Darcy?”

The directness of his question made me wince. “So bad I don’t even know how to talk about it,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

“Then maybe you
should
talk about it.” He crossed his arms over his chest. What would it feel like to have his arms around me? To have him hold me while I spilled out all my fears?

I turned away and shrugged. “Denial is working pretty well so far.”

“Maybe for a while. But the truth beats the crap out of denial. Eventually.” He sighed heavily. “Believe me, I know.”

I looked at him, surprised. “Yeah?” Curiosity consumed me. What skeletons lurked in the closet of Mr. Magic Hands? What truths had he run from?

He turned back to the register and busied himself locking the cash and credit card receipts into a small metal box bedazzled with purple and pink rhinestones. “I’ll show you where to hide this, then we should go.”

The hiding place was in Liz’s fairy cave, under a table covered by star-and-moon patterned fabric. The table looked like it might tip over from the weight of the haphazard stacks of books.

“Very secure,” I observed.

Lucas looked up from where he knelt on the floor, grinning. “It works for Liz. You are now only the fourth person who knows the secret location of Ft. Knox.”

“Hmm…Liz, Charlie, you and me?” I guessed.

“Yep.” He stood up and brushed his hands on his jeans. “Let’s roll. My car’s in the alley.”

After double-checking the front door to make sure it was locked, we turned off the lights in Fairyland. We emerged from the back door into the alley, which was shrouded in darkness.

“Did Liz give you a key?” Lucas asked.

“What? Oh yeah, she did.” I dug in the pocket of my jeans, glancing over my shoulder nervously.

“Are you scared?” There was a hint of laughter in his voice.

I glanced at him and saw his perfect lips curve into a mocking smile. Stubbornly, I jammed the key into the lock, once I managed to find the keyhole in the dark. So what if I was scared? Any normal person would be nervous in a dark alley. Just because Magic Hands was used to it didn’t make me weird.

“She definitely needs a light back here,” I muttered.

“Yeah. But she and Charlie always leave together. Plus she knows everybody in the ’hood. She feeds most of the homeless guys so I don’t think she worries about it.”

The lock clicked into place. “Ready?” I asked. My eyes had adjusted well enough to the dark to see that he was still grinning. So what if I was jittery and wanted to get out of the dark alley? I wasn’t as brave as Liz.

“Don’t worry, Shaker Girl,” Lucas said, and before I could respond, he slung his arm over my shoulders. “My car is right over there. I think we’ll make it there in one piece. Plus you’ve got those badass, shirt-stealing ninja moves if anyone jumps us.”

I went completely mute. How could I expect to keep up a witty convo with him so close, with the warmth of his arm and the proximity of the rest of him driving all thoughts out of my head? Neither of us spoke as we walked down the alley toward a black car. It was awkweirdly awesome.

Lucas dropped his arm to unlock the passenger door of his car. The physical contact had been way too short, and I sighed.

Out loud.

“You okay?” he asked, leaning on the door, waiting for me to get in.

“Oh yeah. I’m just…um, tired.” How lame. I sank into the passenger seat of his muscle car.

When Lucas slid into the driver’s seat, my senses went into hyperdrive and I told myself to get a grip.

“I just need to let someone know I’m running a little late.” He had his phone out, fingers flying over a text.

Stomach plummet. Of course. The goddess Heather was waiting.

“I really don’t mind taking the bus,” I said. “You have plans and—”

“Don’t be stupid,” he cut me off. “I’m giving you a ride. My plans are flexible.”

He started the car and we rolled slowly down the alley.

“Do you remember where I live?” I asked.

He shrugged. “Basically. You can direct me when we get close.”

I nodded, then he plugged in his iPod and a familiar song flooded the car.

“You like Phoenix?” I asked, surprised. That was twice he’d played some of my favorite music.

He glanced at me, then back at the road. “I can change it to something else.” He reached for his iPod, but I stopped him with my bandaged hand, then yanked it away like I’d been shocked.

“No, don’t change it. I love this song.”

Lucas smiled in the blue glow from the dashboard and we drove without talking, just listening to the music. If I closed my eyes and filtered out most of reality, this could be a perfect night, a perfect date. Except for the small detail of Lucas already having a girlfriend and my life completely falling apart. Oh, and my dad being MIA on some sort of crazy clonehenge quest.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked. Even with heat pouring out of the car vents, a shiver slid through me.

“Talk about what?”

“Whatever was worrying you earlier. Whatever distracted you enough to make you burn yourself.”

I watched his profile. “You think that’s why I burned myself?”

He shrugged. “You said you had a lot on your mind. Something about your dad.”

I huffed out a sigh. “It’s a long story. And it’s…just weird. I’m still trying to figure it out.”

Lucas was quiet for a few moments. “I’m a good listener,” he said. “Just ask Pickles. I listen to her ramble all the time.”

I laughed. “Her stories are probably much more interesting than mine.”

He didn’t smile. “I doubt that.” He glanced at me. “Seriously, Darcy. If you ever want to talk about…all that’s going on…” He paused, and then spoke again. “My mom left, too. Like your dad.”

My stomach twisted. “She did?”

He looked at me, then back at the road. “Yeah. So I know what you’re going through, sort of. Though my mom wasn’t famous, so the whole country wasn’t making jokes about it. That must be hard.”

He’d opened a door, but I wasn’t ready to walk through it, so we drove the rest of the way without speaking, the music filling our silence.

“Tell me where to turn,” Lucas prompted me as the houses we passed increased in size. I guided him to my address.

He turned toward me. “You shouldn’t be taking the bus and walking home this late by yourself. If you can’t afford to gas up your truck, I can give you rides home on the nights you work late.”

“But…it’s completely out of your way.”

He ran a hand through his hair and shrugged. “I like driving.”

I sat there, speechless, until he shifted the car into park, leaving the engine running. “Come on.” He opened his door. “I’ll walk you up.”

“I’m not going to get jumped,” I joked, though secretly I was thrilled when he actually walked around the car and opened my door, like a gentleman in one of my favorite books. No Regency duke would’ve dropped off his date and stayed in his carriage texting.

He smiled at me, but didn’t say anything as we walked quickly up the cobblestones Mom had imported from England. We stood in front of the massive double doors while Lucas dug into his pocket and the wind bit through our coats.

“Here.” He handed me the silver tube and roll of gauze from Liz’s first aid box. “Put more gel on your burn tomorrow and rewrap it.”

I took the first aid supplies, impressed by his thoughtfulness. “Oh, wow. Thanks.” I didn’t know what else to say. His kindness rendered me speechless.

The universe needed to spread out its gifts a little more evenly instead of dumping them all onto one person. Lucas had his act together in a way I never would. Smart, composed under pressure, thoughtful, not to mention smoking hot. I sighed and unlocked the door. Toby waited, wriggling and whimpering. He launched himself at Lucas.

Lucas grinned and bent down to pet him. “How’s my Toby?” Toby slobbered all over him.

“I think he
is
your Toby,” I remarked. Add
beloved by dogs
to the list of his attributes. “Even I don’t get that kind of greeting.”

He laughed and stood up. “I’m sure you’re his favorite. But I could definitely rob your house if I wanted to.”

Another gust of wind blew snow around us. I hesitated. Should I ask him in? Was my mom in a wine coma yet, or would she be awake enough for me to tell her about the henges? And what about his “flexible plans?”

“Do you want to come in? For a minute. To warm up before you head back across town,” I said quickly. I thought of one way we could warm up and immediately wished I hadn’t said that.

He shook his head. “That’d be great any other time, but I’m sort of running late.”

I knew my face burned with embarrassment. Hopefully he’d just think it was windburn.

“Sure. Well, thanks again.” I stepped inside, ready to slam the door so that I could collapse in private. He’d churned up all sorts of emotions tonight that I didn’t want to deal with.

“I’ll see you soon,” Lucas said. He held my gaze for a moment, his eyes hooded in the darkness, and then hurried down the steps to his car.

I raised my hand in a half wave. He saluted me with a grin, then slid into the car and drove away into the night, taillights disappearing too quickly.

There went my dream guy. Who happened to be unavailable. Not to mention completely unattainable.

I slammed the front door behind me, as if that would keep my feelings for Lucas outside, too. I had way too much else going on in my life to be distracted by him. I needed to focus my energy on Dad, and Mom. I was the sanest of the three of us. I had to do something to keep us from crashing, because I was pretty sure we were careening out of control down a twisting road that dropped into nowhere.

The house was silent. No late night TV noises. After checking to make sure all the doors were locked and lights were out, I trudged upstairs with Toby at my heels.

I paused at Mom’s door and heard her snoring. Great. The more she drank, the louder she snored. So much for telling her what I’d figured out from Dad’s postcards and my online research.

“Come on, Tobester,” I whispered. “It’s time for bed.”

Exhaustion overwhelmed me. I didn’t have the energy to look up more clonehenges tonight. I’d do it tomorrow. Maybe then Mom would be in a better condition to listen to me.

Toby and I snuggled together under my covers, listening to the wind howl outside. I closed my eyes. “I’m going to find you, Dad,” I whispered. “I don’t know how, but I will.”

Chapter Thirteen

October 27

“
N
ow!” Mom screamed into the phone. “You get over here right now, J.J. You can tell me in person what the hell this is.” Mom held a stack of papers in her trembling hand. She ended the call and threw her phone against the wall. Plastic bits went flying, making Toby cower and slink away.

I reassembled Mom’s phone while she disappeared into the wine cellar. Maybe tonight she’d let me have a glass. I shuddered and shook my head. That wouldn’t solve anything; she was living proof of that. I picked up the papers, pages and pages of legalese, but one word jumped out at me.

Eviction.

My runner’s legs morphed from muscle to liquid in seconds. I sank onto a kitchen barstool, my eyes blurring with tears as I tried to decipher the document. Mom came back into the kitchen, clumsily juggling three bottles of wine. My stomach clenched as I looked at her.

“Please, Mom. Not now. Can’t you go without drinking for just one day?”

She glared at me. “You see what that says? They’re kicking us out, Darcy. Kicking us out of our own fucking house.”

“Mom!” She’d never dropped the f-bomb. Ever.

She sneered at me. “It’s not like I’m offending you. And if there was ever a time for me to get drunk, it’s now.”

Tears streamed down my face, but I shook with anger. “Damn it, Mom. You have to stop this. J.J.’s on his way over. You can talk to him. Convince him to change his mind.”

“That’s what I’m planning to do, Darcy.”

I took a deep breath. “He’s not going to take you seriously if you’re drunk.”

“I don’t need you lecturing me. You have no idea what I’m going through. Go upstairs, Darcy.”

“No.”

Her eyes widened. “No? Who do you think you are?”

“I’m Tri Ty’s daughter,” I said flatly. “And yours. And I’m not going anywhere.”

We stared at each other, not moving or speaking.

Toby broke the tension with a bark when the front doorbell rang. I felt Mom’s glare like an icy wind on my back as I went to answer the door.

J.J. looked startled to see me instead of Mom. “She’s in the kitchen,” I said. “Come on.”

He followed me, footsteps heavy on the tile. When we reached the kitchen the three of us stood like points on a triangle, watching each other warily.

J.J. spoke first. “You can’t hide out anymore, Marilyn,” he said. “If we don’t have Ty, we don’t have a product to sell. By disappearing, he’s completely ruined Harvest.” His face was haggard, but I saw no compassion in his eyes. “The eviction was a board decision. I can’t change it.”

“How can you do this, J.J.? Kick us out of our home?” Mom’s face showed only fear, no traces of her earlier anger.

J.J.’s frustration snapped at us with each word. “The company owns the house. It’s one of the only assets we own free and clear. The board is seizing it.”

Mom’s face crumpled. “But I thought it was our house. Mine and Ty’s.”

J.J. scowled. “It used to be. But Ty signed the house deed over to the business.”

“What?” Mom reached out for a chair to steady herself. She looked as fragile as a lost child, and all of my anger at her dissolved. I crossed the kitchen and wrapped an arm around her waist.

“Why would he do that?” Tears streamed down Mom’s face. “I don’t understand.”

J.J. looked at the floor as he spoke. “I told you about the bad investment decisions. Maybe he felt guilty about that.”

My anxiety swelled to enormous proportions. This didn’t make sense. The one thing Dad would never do was leave Mom and me without a roof over our heads. Didn’t J.J. know that?

Mom sank slowly into a chair. She pulled a crumpled tissue out of her pocket, wiped her eyes, then spoke again. “We need more time. This eviction notice doesn’t even give us a month to get moved.” Her voice was pleading. “J.J., at least give us more time.”

J.J. shook his head sadly. “Can’t do it, Marilyn.”

“He’s coming back,” Mom whispered. “He has a plan. He must. He wouldn’t let everything fall apart. Not after all these years. Harvest is his life.”

“Where is he, Marilyn?” J.J. pushed.

“I told you I don’t know. He never calls. He ignores his emails. I don’t have any way to reach him.” Her voice quivered.

“What about the postcards he was sending?” J.J.’s voice had turned cold.

Goose bumps prickled my skin. Mom had told J.J. about those?

I didn’t know how much I could believe J.J., but he and Mom needed to know what I’d discovered about the clonehenges. If there was a hope of finding Dad, if we could figure it out, maybe the board would change their mind, or at least give us more time. I had to say something.

“I might know where he is.” My voice echoed in the quiet kitchen.

“Darcy.” Mom’s voice held a warning.

J.J. took a step toward me. “If you know where he is, you have to tell me.”

This wasn’t the old J.J., the one I’d known forever. This J.J. was threatening, angry, and full of desperation. I wanted to back away from him, but I held my ground. “I’m not sure. But I think I might know what he’s doing.”

Mom closed her eyes and shook her head. “Don’t listen to her, J.J. She’s grasping at straws.”

“No I’m not.” I met J.J.’s hard stare. “I think he’s on a quest. He’s traveling the country looking at Stonehenge replicas.”

J.J.’s mouth opened in surprise. “He’s what?”

Mom had risen from the chair to open a bottle of wine while I spoke. She poured two glasses and handed one to J.J., who took a long drink.

“Darcy, have you talked to your dad?” J.J. asked. “Do you know for sure that’s what he’s doing?”

“No. You’re the only one he’s talking to. Isn’t he telling
you
what he’s doing? Where he’s going?”

J.J.’s eyes narrowed and his lips thinned. “No. He only lets me know he’s okay. I can’t get him to tell me anything else. He doesn’t even have his cell anymore, or doesn’t turn it on. He calls me from random places on the road.”

“But you’re his best friend,” I said, not quite believing him. “At least he’s calling you. Can’t you tell him what’s happening with the house? I know he’d come home if he knew.” My pitch rose as I fought back tears. “You must know something, J.J.”

He flinched like I’d hit a nerve, and a ripple of suspicion went through me. I darted a glance at Mom, wondering if she’d seen what I had, but she was refilling her damn wineglass.

I didn’t know what was going on with him, but J.J. was our only link to Dad. Maybe if I showed him my map, he’d tell us more. “I have his postcards. I’m plotting them on a map. Do you want to see it?”

J.J. looked at Mom, who shook her head again. I bit the inside of my lip in frustration. Why didn’t anyone believe me?

“I don’t know.” J.J. hesitated. “That sounds…desperate. Like you’re searching for a method to his madness.”

“He’s not crazy.” Even as I said it, fear tingled my scalp.

J.J. sighed. “I’ll look at your map, if it’ll make you happy.”

I frowned. “Don’t patronize me, J.J. Just forget it if you don’t believe me.”

He glanced at Mom, who said nothing as she drank more wine.

“Would it change things,” I asked, hating the way desperation weakened my voice, “if you could tell the board that we can find him? Could we keep our house?”

J.J. rubbed his forehead. “I don’t know, Darcy. It would take a miracle at this point.”

“Just look at it. Please.” I turned and headed for the staircase, willing them to follow me as readily as Toby did. I was almost to my bedroom door before I finally heard their steps on the stairs.

“Here goes nothing,” I whispered to Toby.

The map hung on the wall over my desk, covered in red stars and post-it notes. I’d traced a black dotted line showing his travels so far. The line made a loopy infinity symbol across the bottom right quadrant of the map, running south then east, then north, then west and dipping down south again.

J.J. and Mom stared at the map. He stepped closer to read my post-its, which listed the date of each card’s postmark He turned toward me. “Is there a Stonehenge route he’s following? Like in those ‘roadside attraction’ books? Why would he go to
these
places?”

I looked at my feet. That was the burning question, wasn’t it? And I couldn’t answer it.

“Darcy?” Mom prompted me.

They didn’t believe me. When I looked up all I saw was pity for the poor deluded girl trying to find a clue in random patterns. I turned away from Mom’s doubt and J.J.’s condescension. “Forget it. You think it’s wishful thinking. Childish. Desperate.” Mom put a hand on my shoulder but I shrugged it off. “Just go,” I whispered. “Please. Just leave me alone.”

They left my bedroom quietly, but Toby stayed. I collapsed next to him on the floor and buried my face in his fur. Maybe they were right. Maybe I
was
desperate. Delusional. Following a fantasy.

Like Lucas said, eventually truth beat the crap out of denial.

I had to face the fact that Dad was gone.