How Sweet It Is (20 page)

“But if we can’t work for it, how can we
accept it? That doesn’t make sense.”

“God gives it because He loves us.”

Because He loves
us
.

Delphine lowered her gaze,
her heart pounding.
How can I receive what
I don’t deserve?
She shredded the tissue in
her hands.
I try so hard! Isn’t that worth
something?

Releasing a slow sigh, she looked up at the
pastor, worried that she wouldn’t respond the way he probably
wanted. After becoming a Christian, didn’t she need to prove
herself worthy of the new life God had given her? “It doesn’t seem
as easy as it sounds.”

He looked thoughtful for a moment. “I
wouldn’t say it was easy—but yielding all to God can be easier than
continually dragging our burdens around.”

Delphine bit her lip against
a retort.
What have I held back, God?
There’s nothing left! What do you want from me that I haven’t
already given?

Yourself.

Her eyes widened at the
whisper of her heart. She glanced at Greg, half-wondering if he’d
spoken the word, but he was flipping to a page in his Bible.
Delphine blushed, knowing it had been the Lord speaking to her. She
cringed.
Why is this so hard? I’m a
believer. Why can’t I get this?

An image of when she made the decision to
serve the Lord flickered to life in her mind. At the age of
sixteen, in desperation and loneliness, she’d turned to God, and
had sensed His love and peace filling the empty places in her
heart.

When did the peace go away?

Was it when she’d begun an after-school job
to help her parents pay the never-ending stream of bills? When she
had to leave one school for another in the middle of the year, once
again losing what few friends she’d managed to make?

When her prayers seemed to go unanswered?

When did the bitter replace the sweet,
Lord?

Delphine pressed a fresh
tissue to her eyes.
How can I give myself
to You when all I am is someone who’s become tired and
disillusioned?

Greg cleared his throat,
making her realize she’d tuned him out.
Great, Delphine. Ignore the guy after you blubbered all over
him
.

“Do you have a Bible? I’d like to send you
home with some passages of scripture you might find
encouraging.”

“I do, but I have to confess I haven’t spent
as much time reading it as I should.”

Greg smiled. “I’ve listed several psalms.
Sometimes reading about someone else’s trials can make you realize
you’re not alone. And when we surrender what we’ve been holding
onto so tightly, we actually find God is who we’ve wanted all
along. And a longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul.”

Delphine managed a smile, slipping the card
into her purse. “Thank you for listening. I can’t tell you how it’s
helped.”

“Can we pray with you before you leave?”

Nodding, she bowed her head while the
pastor’s words flowed over her. She silently asked for help to
persevere in her difficulties, to find peace in the midst of
them.

When the prayer ended, Greg smiled. “Feel
free to drop in again anytime.” He gripped her hand. “You’re not
alone, okay?”

She nodded, forcing back persistent tears.
“Thank you.”

After they walked her out to the door,
Delphine continued on down to the sidewalk to the bus stop. She
leaned against the sign and looked up into the evening sky,
thinking about what the pastor had said.

Maybe it was time to stop blaming her
failures on her circumstances, and instead focus on God in the
midst of them.

It seems such a simple
concept, God, but please help me figure it all
out
.

Fifteen

At the sound of a knock, Stephan looked over
at the front door of the shop. The shadow of a man could be seen
against the shades covering the windows. The knock came again.
Minnie caught his eye and shook her head.

A muffled voice came from the outside.
“Delphine! I need to talk to you.”

His curiosity piqued, Stephan edged to the
window and lifted the shade an inch. He saw a tall, blond man on
the other side of the glass, holding a bouquet of flowers.

He became aware that Minnie had come up just
behind him by the smell of her herbal perfume.

“That must be Brad,” she whispered. “Oh my,
he’s gorgeous!”

Experiencing an unexpected pang of jealousy,
Stephan sent her a quelling look. He wondered what he should do.
Delphine had left to go to the bank and she’d be back at any
moment.

“Let him in,” Minnie said with a tremor in
her voice. “He’s got more flowers.”

Stephan gave Minnie a suspicious look before
turning the lock on the front door. He opened the door a crack.
“Who are you?”

“Brad Larsen. Is Delphine here?”

Stephan opened the door enough for Brad to
enter. “No. Can I give her a message for you?”

The blond man’s shoulders slumped. He held
out the flowers. “Can you give these to her for me?”

A sound from the rear of the shop drew
Stephan’s attention from the bouquet of daisies. The back door
opened and closed. Delphine had returned. He heard her footsteps
approaching the front.

“Hey, where is everybody? It’s so quiet in
here!”

She came into view—and saw Brad.

Her face went pink and white by turns.
Stephan’s gaze swiveled back to Brad. His face was doing the same
thing. As they stared at each other, a tenuous thread of emotion
seemed to thrum between the two. Stephan held his breath. He sensed
Minnie doing the same.

Brad took a step toward Delphine. That small
movement broke whatever spell held them. Delphine turned on her
heel and went inside her office, shutting the door with a decisive
snap.

Stephan glanced at Brad. His face looked hard
and set. Thrusting the flowers at Stephan, Brad walked out the
door.

Minnie gave a loud sniff. Stephan looked over
at her, seeing tears in her gray eyes. Suppressing a stab of
impatience, he locked the front door.

“They must be so very much in love,” Minnie
said in a quiet voice. “We have to do something to help them get
back together.”

Stephan turned.
“
Au contraire
, as
our fair boss would say. It’s for that exact reason we keep our
noses out of their business.”

Minnie bunched her fists. “You don’t have one
romantic bone in your body.”

Stephan shrugged. “I like my job. I want to
keep it.”

Giving him a basilisk stare, Minnie turned
and went back to her work.

****

In her office, Delphine tried to control the
rate of her breathing. Dizziness assailed her. Seated in her chair,
she wrapped her arms around her waist, waiting for her world to
right itself again.

Over the past few days, she’d convinced
herself that her thinking was becoming clear, more circumspect.
Certainly, she’d sensed a new closeness to God which had heartened
her immensely.

But seeing Brad just now had been like a
karate kick to her solar plexus. She closed her eyes, seeing again
in her mind the stricken look on his face. Delphine had read his
many notes attached to the flowers with a jaundiced eye, but the
expression on his face couldn’t be denied. He was hurting.

She’d been so consumed with her own hurt, she
hadn’t really considered he might be suffering. Why would he be?
He’d said those terrible words that had pierced her heart.

Delphine slowly looked around her office. On
every horizontal surface, bouquets crowded office paraphernalia.
Some of the flowers—roses, sunflowers, carnations, daisies, even
arrangements with snapdragons and amaryllis—were fading. Petals
littered her desktop. Delphine picked up the bouquet of pink roses
that had been delivered the day before and pressed her face against
the velvet petals.

God, what do you want me to
do? I know I have to forgive him but even then I’m afraid of
letting him back into my life. Please give me
wisdom
.

Images of Brad’s otherwise wonderful
treatment of her flickered through her mind. Maybe she didn’t
deserve such a man. Why would he want her back anyway?

She inhaled the light fragrance of the roses
and set them back on the desk, no closer to any resolution. The
action brought to her attention the piles of paperwork on the desk.
Glancing at her watch, Delphine realized she’d have to work late
again to catch up.

****

Brad fumed while he drove away from the shop.
This was getting ridiculous! Delphine would listen to his
explanation one way or another. He wouldn’t allow her to shut him
out forever. If, after he’d made his excuses she wanted nothing
more with him, fine. But he refused to allow their relationship die
based on a misunderstanding.

Checking his watch, he saw that it was nearly
six. Soon Delphine would arrive home, or at least he hoped. She
either hadn’t answered her door or hadn’t been home at all in the
past week. Since she didn’t have a car, he couldn’t tell for sure
when she was at her apartment.

At a stoplight, Brad punched his home phone
number into the cell phone. When he got the voice mail, he checked
his messages. Nothing. Next, he called his parents’ line, reminding
his mom to let him know if Delphine called. After that, he decided
to grab a bite to eat. On his way to a fast food restaurant, he
noticed a competing chocolate shop on the other side of the street.
A familiar craving assailed him.

He fought against it.

No more chocolate until
Delphine forgives me
.

****

“Don’t do it, Minnie. It’s none of your
business.” Stephan sent a stern look to his co-worker, where she
slouched down in the passenger seat of his car. Her arms were
crossed over her chest and she had a particularly mulish expression
on her face.

“Like it was none of your business to read
Delphine’s florist note?”

“That was different. Now that I know she’s
not suffering from anything life-threatening, I don’t feel the need
to get involved.”

“Have you ever been in love? How do you know
it’s not life-threatening?”

Stephan snorted. “Puh-leeze.”

Minnie grabbed the door handle of the car and
scrambled out. She leaned down, her cheeks red with anger. “Well,
I’m calling Brad and telling him Delphine will probably be at the
shop tonight, like she has been every night this week.”

She slammed the door shut and marched toward
her apartment. He watched her go up the wooden steps to the complex
and disappear through one of the doors.

Stephan frowned and thought about the boring
night he’d have at home by himself. He really shouldn’t leave
Minnie to her own devices. But as he was older, and technically had
more authority over her since only he had a key to the shop, he
felt responsible for her. Rather like a big brother. If she got
herself mixed up in something, he should be there to extricate
her—and crow about how he’d been right afterwards.

Stephan stumbled out of the car in an
unseemly haste.

Minnie allowed herself a little curved smile
when she heard Stephan banging on the door. Composing her face into
one of indifference, she opened the door and feigned surprise at
the sight of him.

“Change your mind?” she asked sweetly.

Stephan uttered a grunt and edged past her
into the sparsely furnished living room.

“So, how did you get Brad’s number?”

Minnie felt her face heat up. “Um, I don’t
have his number. I assume it’s in the phone book.”

Stephan laughed out loud. “You thought you
could just open up a Los Angeles phone book and find somebody’s
number?” He collapsed on to the second-hand couch and let out an
unmanly giggle.

Feeling her affection for Stephan begin to
wither somewhat, she lifted her chin. “Well, it’s a place to start.
So unless you have any better ideas, just be quiet.”

Minnie went to the telephone book, slapped it
on the dinette table, and opened it to Larsen. She blinked at the
seeming miles of listings for B, Brad, or Bradley Larsen. Stephan
came up and peered over her shoulder.

“Put on a pot of coffee ‘cause we’ll be up
all night making calls,” he said in an amused tone.

Minnie grimaced and felt her glow of a good
deed done begin to fade. She cleared her throat. “Well, smarty
pants, give me an alternative.”

Stephan shrugged. “Do you have Internet
access? Maybe we can look him up online.”

“How would that be any easier than the phone
book? Besides, I don’t know much about computers.”

“Then why do you have one?” he asked,
pointing to a desk in a corner of the kitchen nook.

“It’s my roommate’s,” she mumbled,
embarrassed to be caught being so e-illiterate.

Stephan dragged one of the dinette chairs
over to the desk and turned on the computer. “May I?” he asked,
obviously as a formality.

“Make yourself at home.” Minnie couldn’t
keep the sarcasm out of her voice. How was it that a guy she was
crazy for made her feel so prickly all the time? Maybe it was
because he refused to consider her in the light of a romantic
possibility. His daily flirtation was merely a matter of form.

A few moments later, silhouetted by the glow
of the monitor, Stephan turned to her. “So how do you spell his
last name? Is it ‘e-n’ or ‘o-n’ or something else?”

Grabbing a chair and scooting up beside him,
Minnie peered at the screen. “Try it with ‘en’ first.”

He tapped away at the keys. “I’m entering his
name into a search engine. You never know what you can come up with
this way.”