How to Handle a Cowboy (27 page)

Sierra hung up the phone in the office, jumped out of her chair, and let out a whoop. Her job at Phoenix House hadn't been filled. She could stay. She could stay with her boys and marry her cowboy and live a life she never even could have imagined a month ago.

The tiny office seemed too small to contain her joy, so she headed out to the front porch. Leaning on the rail, she looked up and down the street and saw Wynott with new eyes. This was her town. These were her people.

This was her hometown.

She paced from one end of the porch to the other. She needed to tell somebody. Ridge would be out in the corrals, messing with his horses. But Riley—she glanced across the street. Sure enough, the battered ranch truck was parked behind the hardware store.

Did Riley park in the back to avoid her, or what? Was she hoping Sierra wouldn't see the truck? Sierra was pretty sure Riley had forgiven her, and she'd seemed fine at the ranch the other day, but she should go over there and check.

She waited for a truck to pass then ran over to Boone's.

“Hi, Ed. Is Riley here?” Sierra was bouncing on her toes, barely able to contain her news. She'd resisted the urge to tell anyone about Ridge's proposal and her answer; there had been too many logistics to work out. But now that she knew she still had her job, she felt like hollering from the rooftops.

“Sure is. She's back there with Alma,” Ed said. “She's a ministering angel, that girl is. Been a gift from heaven for us, that's for sure.”

Sierra had heard Riley described many ways, but
ministering
angel
?

That was a new one.

“The way she helps out in the store is one thing, but it's what she does for Alma that really makes me grateful,” Ed continued. “There's some times a woman needs another woman when she's ailing and can't help herself, you know? Riley's given Alma her dignity back.”

“Wait a minute.” It sounded like Riley had news of her own to share. “So Riley's been helping you here at the store and nursing Alma too?”

“Just in her spare time,” Ed said. “I know she's working for the Decker boys out at the ranch, but she always seems to have a little time for us, and I appreciate that. It's good Ridge's so flexible and all about the truck, so she can be here when we need her.”

“Well, that's—that's great.” Why hadn't Riley told anyone about this?

“She's like the daughter we never had.” He leaned across the counter, resting his elbows on the scarred linoleum surface. “Alma just can't wait till Riley's done with the Decker job and can move here for good. We don't use the upstairs anymore since Alma got so bad, so she'll have plenty of privacy, and she'll be here if Alma needs her. Yup, that girl's a blessed angel. No doubt about it.”

He gave Sierra a serene smile. Much as she wanted to mirror that expression, she just couldn't. She felt like one of those surprised cartoon characters, like her eyes were bugging out of her head and bouncing on little springs.

“Aw, did I spill the beans?” Ed looked down at the counter and shook his head. “Alma always said I couldn't keep a secret in a ten-gallon bucket. Riley was probably going to tell you all about this at some special dinner or something. I know she's awfully proud of finding her place here in Wynott. She said you didn't think there was anywhere for her to work here.” He grinned, as proudly as if Riley was his own daughter. “Guess she proved you wrong, now, didn't she?”

Sierra nodded, smiling, but she felt a little stunned. This was so sudden, so unexpected. Who would have guessed that Riley would end up selling hardware in a small town in Wyoming?

“Well, she'll be out soon as she gets Alma settled,” Ed said. “Then she can tell you herself.”

Sierra wandered through the aisles, pretending she was shopping when really she just needed some time to digest the news. Why was she feeling a pang of loss when her friend was finally setting out on her own, just like Sierra had always hoped she would?

She turned to see Riley standing behind her like an apparition.

“How do you do that?” she asked.

“Do what?”

“Just appear here, out of nowhere?”

Riley laughed. “There's a door back there, in lumber. It goes to Ed and Alma's place.”

“Ed was just telling me about your—plans.”

Sierra did her best to sound happy. Why was that so hard? She should be jumping up and down, hugging her friend.

“Sorry,” Riley said. “I was going to tell you, but
somebody
just can't keep a secret.” She gave Ed a pointed look.

“I'm sorry, honey. It just spilled out.”

“I'm just glad to hear the good news.” Sierra pretended to examine various nuts and bolts, wondering all the while what was wrong with her. It was hard to cover up an emotion when you didn't even know what it was.

Riley looked as puzzled as she felt. “What's wrong, Sierra?”

“I don't know. I'm happy for you, but I feel like everything's changed.”

“I know,” Riley said. “I don't need you anymore.”

The words hit Sierra like a dagger. But then again, this was what they'd worked for. The whole point of mentoring someone was to teach them to make it on their own. Maybe she'd forgotten that goal along the way. She looked at Riley, standing there with her tool belt draped around her waist, and felt her own grin widening to mirror her friend's.

“You
don't
need me, do you?”

“Not as a mentor, I don't,” Riley said. “But I could use a friend. You're not going to lose interest now that I'm not all helpless and needy, are you?”

“No. It was never about that.”

Riley arched a disbelieving eyebrow. “It's always about that with you.”

“No, it's not.”

“You think? The work you do? The way you love those boys?” She lowered her voice. “Heck, even Ridge is a project for you.” She thumbed carelessly in the direction of Decker Ranch. “He came from a broken home, just like the boys. Just like me. I mean, he's hot and everything, but you feel safe because he needs you. That's what attracted you to him. You want to fix him.”

Was that true?

On the surface, it seemed like a no-brainer. Sierra was, in a way, addicted to fixing people. And Ridge definitely was, in some ways, damaged goods. But deep down, she knew their relationship wasn't that simple. There was something more between them—something inexplicable. When she was with him, she felt like she was home.

Maybe that's what everyone was looking for all along—the boys, Ridge, and Sierra herself. Everybody wanted to belong somewhere.

And so far, the only one who'd succeeded was Riley.

In any case, this wasn't the time to tell Riley her own news. She'd give Riley this day to celebrate her own victory. God knew she'd worked hard to get here.

“Maybe you're right about Ridge. I don't know.” Sierra put an arm around her friend. “I just know that I am so, so proud of you.”

Riley smacked the nearest shelf and lifted her fist in a victory salute.

“There! I did it!”

“Did what?” Sierra asked.

“I got you to say you're proud of me.” She was beaming, practically lighting up the room. “From the first time I met you, you seemed like the most put-together, amazing person I'd ever met. I wanted to be just like you, but I knew that would never happen. So I decided the best I could do was to make you proud of me. And believe it or not, for all those years I screwed up so bad, that was still the goal I was always trying to reach.”

“And you're there,” Sierra said. “
So
there. I should have said it sooner, Riley. I was always proud of the way you fought.”

“Even when I lost?”

“Nobody wins every fight.” She looked around the hardware store, noticing how tidy it was. Neat, handwritten labels marked each section, and the white-glove test would work anywhere in the place. “You've really made a difference here already. So what's your goal now?”

Riley grew serious. “I want to get Alma into town more often. I think physical therapy could really help her, and Ed hasn't had time to take her. And I want to computerize the inventory. Half the time Ed doesn't know what he's got in stock and what he needs to order.”

“Pretty ambitious,” Sierra said.

“Well, at least I don't think I'm going to be able to fix that cowboy,” Riley teased. “Now
that's
ambitious.”

“I don't know,” Sierra said. “Maybe the really big job is fixing me.”

Sierra was preparing for a long night with the kids when Gil turned up at the house.

“You got the night off, sugar.” He flashed a shopping bag from Target. “I went down to Cheyenne today and got a new Xbox game.”

She lifted her eyebrows. “You want to play that so badly that you're taking my night shift?”

“I figure you probably have places to go, cowboys to talk to.”

“What makes you think that?”

He grinned his toothy Gil grin. “You bought four bridal magazines at the Mini Mart this morning.”

She knew she should have gone to Cheyenne for those. But she hadn't recognized the young man behind the counter, so she'd taken a calculated risk.

“Go on,” Gil said. “Looking at all those frilly dresses for a few hours will do Ridge Cooper good.” He turned and headed for the TV room.

Sierra felt her shoulders relaxing and a smile spreading across her face. She wasn't going to argue with him. Although she sincerely doubted she and Ridge would spend the gift of a surprise evening together looking at magazines.

***

There was no sign of Ridge when she reached the ranch, but the big white truck was parked in its usual spot, so he was around somewhere.

She grabbed the bridal magazines. She'd taken the time to dog-ear a few pages, marking the most hideous, over-the-top wedding dresses she could find to see if she could scare Ridge.

She tried the barn first, but it was empty of both horses and cowboys. The only sounds were the cooing of doves in the rafters and the occasional flutter of wings.

She stood there awhile, enjoying the soothing dimness and savoring the way the sunlight angled in through slits in the roof where storms had blown the shingles off. Breathing deep, she absorbed the scent of hay and horses, old wood and dust. This quiet place would be a part of her world someday, and though it was as different from her old world as any place she could imagine, she loved it already.

But she was on a mission. Stepping out of the barn, she called Ridge a couple times.

No answer.

She called his name again as she entered the house. He was probably in some far pasture, doing whatever it was cowboys did. That was another thing she'd have to learn someday.

So she had the house to herself. That wasn't such a bad thing. She could check out Riley's improvements and daydream about living there someday.

She thought about fanning the wedding magazines out on the coffee table, but then it occurred to her that one of Ridge's brothers might stop by, or some of Brady's rodeo friends. No, it would be better to keep their plans private until Ridge wanted to tell his brothers about it, so she headed upstairs to his bedroom.

Sitting on the bed, she tried to picture him as that sulky boy in the photo. It was obvious he hadn't stayed sulky long, since he'd accomplished so much in rodeo. She picked up the old composition book he'd shown her, where he'd written down his plans for the future, and flipped through the pages. The first few were devoted to boyish drawings of horses, with body parts carefully labeled. Then came a long list of cowboy and rodeo terms. That was pretty interesting. She'd have to go back to it later. The next page was the list of goals she'd already seen, and the page after that was a new list.

Plan
B
, it said at the top of the page. The handwriting looked more mature and less faded. Ridge could have written it just yesterday, for all she knew.

A fierce little claw of guilt clutched at her subconscious. She was snooping, in a way. But didn't she have a right? She and Ridge were going to get married. They'd have to work out new goals, shared ones. Maybe they'd develop their own plan B, or maybe this one would work for both of them. She needed to know, right?

The little claw clutched a little tighter, but she kept reading.

1. Clean house.

Well, that was a goal they could share. Ridge had actually come a long way with it, but there was still work to be done.

2. Talk to Sierra.

She smiled. This
was
a recent list. She wondered what he'd wanted to talk to her about that was important enough to put on a list. Marriage? Or something more mundane? She'd have to ask him.

The next item was
Bring
the
house
up
to
code.
That solved the mystery of what he'd wanted to talk to her about. He must have written out this list before their dinner at the Red Dawg, when he'd broached the idea of taking in foster kids.

That was what had brought them together. The kids. Sometimes, she'd thought he cared far more about the kids than he did about her. In fact, at that dinner, she'd felt like he was romancing her as a means to an end.

She remembered telling him about how much work the house would need and how challenging the kids could be. He hadn't let any barrier stand in his way. Even when she'd told him the state usually didn't allow single men to be foster parents, he'd gone ahead and started working toward his goal. He couldn't have known then that the two of them would actually get together and solve that problem—though the thought had definitely crossed his mind. She'd seen it, clear as a shooting star, arcing through his dark eyes that night at the Red Dawg.

But though that was what brought them together, it wasn't the reason he'd proposed. There was more to their relationship than that. She loved him, deeply and purely, and he felt the same way about her. She was sure of it.

So why was that little claw clutching at her again? This time it wasn't guilt; it was fear.

And the next line made it tighten up and twist until she could barely breathe.

Find
wife
partner
, it said. And then, in parentheses, it said
Sierra?

It wasn't the question mark that got her. It was the parentheses. It was as if she was being considered as a possibility, as someone who might, maybe, solve his problem. Someone who was handy, who might suit his needs and help him get to that goal he was so hell-bent on reaching.

Now it was anger that clutched at her heart.

Because Ridge Cooper always achieved his goals, didn't he? He always stuck to the back of the bronc and finished out the ride. What was it he'd said about rodeo?
It
was
time
to
quit
anyway. I was the world champion bronc rider. That was my goal. I made it, and I'm done.

When he wanted something, he made it happen with a single-minded intensity that mowed down everything in his path. Including her.

She wasn't the love of his life. She was only a part of the plan.

If only it hadn't started the way it had, in that old-fashioned bedroom. If only he hadn't been so tender that day in the grove, that sacred place where the breezes stroked the wind chimes that had been placed there with so much love by his family.

She'd realized he was a little reticent when it came to romance, but she'd figured it was a function of his loveless upbringing, or maybe just part of being a cowboy. In reality, every shred of romance he'd managed to force out had been a lie. He'd been working toward a goal. And while a cowboy might think the means justified the ends, she could never forgive him for leading her on.

She stood up, smoothing out the comforter to erase all traces of her sitting on the bed. It was time to leave Ridge Cooper behind—Ridge Cooper and all the moments they'd shared together.

But she couldn't, could she? She'd called and backed out of her upcoming job in Denver as soon as she accepted the permanent position as manager of Phoenix House. So she was trapped here in Wynott. She'd have to see Ridge all the time. See him, hear about him, and probably hear about whatever new floozy he found to further his goals.

To hang on to her own sanity, she needed to change the context of every memory she had of the times they'd spent together. What she'd thought was lovemaking had actually been sex. Good sex, great sex, probably the best sex she'd ever have in her life—but with no real emotion behind it. The moments she treasured weren't romance. They were cold calculation on his part and foolish fantasy on hers.

It wasn't all his fault. She'd seen what she wanted to see and turned her back on reality. She'd wanted her someday
now
, and she'd been eager to believe she'd found the place she belonged. In a way, she'd been as guilty as Ridge. She'd offered him a way to reach his goal; he'd offered her the family that, deep down, she'd always wanted.

Closing the notebook, she picked up the wedding magazines and tossed them in the wastebasket under the desk. They landed with a very solid and satisfying
thunk
.