How to Tell a Lie (10 page)

“You are great raw material, Ally. And yeah, you’re a complete nerd, but he didn’t really get how that would never change. Because he didn’t get anything about you. And you didn’t really get him, you just thought you did because he was a good salesman. That’s why it took you so long to wise up.” Tess was leaning in to her argument now, her voice raised a little as she hashed out the same line of reasoning she’d been giving Allison since James entered the picture. “He didn’t love you, he loved what he thought he could make out of you. That’s why the sex sucked, because you were generic to him.”

Allison rolled her eyes, wondering for the millionth time whether she ought to acquire some close friends who hadn’t known her since birth. Tess was on the money, though Allison would never give Tess the satisfaction of knowing she was right.

“I think it was because you weren’t in love with him,” ventured Lindy. Always the least outgoing of the three, Lindy had always tended to let Tess and Allison talk about boys, and later men, without giving much input. When she did comment though, she often demonstrated an insight that surprised Allison. “It couldn’t be good if you weren’t in love with him.”

Tess snorted. Her cynicism was legend, and she made it clear she thought Lindy put too much stock in romantic idealism.

But Allison nodded thoughtfully at this, the first new idea to be introduced into this debate in months. “That’s true in a sense. But I think the bigger problem is that James doesn’t know who he is well enough to know another person. He just never connected very well. With anyone. I thought for so long that was just a defense mechanism, and that there was this other, sensitive person underneath and eventually he’d open up to me. Because of love or something. But now I think there was never anything underneath. I think other people are mainly just an audience to him, and everything’s a role he’s trying to tailor to that audience. So he doesn’t get to know people. He doesn’t really
see
people, just their usefulness to him. I tried for two years, but if he didn’t really see me in that much time…”

“Maybe you didn’t really want to be seen. Maybe he was your…excuse. Your escape hatch.”

“You are so feisty today, Lind.” Tess cocked her head at Lindy. “What’s going on with you?”

Lindy smiled and glanced back down at the skein of bright red yarn she was busy knitting into something complicated. “I never liked James. I don’t think he’ll ever really love anyone, either. But I think there are reasons people choose other people. There’s a reason Ally chose him, and I think that was the reason.”

“So I could have a built-in excuse to leave him?” Allison was a little annoyed, but mostly at herself because she knew Lindy was probably right.

“Sort of. Maybe. Leave him but not be all that hurt by it? I mean yeah, you were hurt, but you’ve obviously never regretted the decision to go. So…” She trailed off, suddenly seeming too unsure of herself to continue.

Allison lifted an eyebrow at her cousin. “You really should go back to school and study psychology, you know?”

“I like what I’m doing now,” Lindy said softly.

“What are you making?” Tess asked brightly, clearly trying to change the subject.

“It’s a purse. See?” She held up the work in progress, which was still just a collection of rectangles surrounding a central square. The design, a subtle but intricate pattern of squiggly lines, was woven in scarlet red over a chocolate background.

“Um, no. But I’ll take your word for it. I like the colors.”

“Thanks.”

“What are you getting for those things now, anyway?” Tess asked idly, still playing with her drink.

Lindy shrugged. “It just depends.”

“About a hundred twenty-five, hundred fifty bucks,” Allison volunteered. “And that’s for the little clutch-sized French wallets. I can’t even afford to look at any of the bigger ones. You’re being too modest, Lindy. You can’t even keep up with demand.”

Allison had always been amazed at her shy cousin’s ability to design and produce surprising, sophisticated works of art. Lindy’s decision to start working with textiles had turned out to be a brilliant move both artistically and financially. Her gorgeous designs were getting a lot of notice, and her handmade handbags and scarves sold out almost as soon as they hit the shelves at the handful of local boutiques that carried them.

“I wouldn’t know, I got mine for free. Christmas present.
Yay
.” Tess held up a little backpack purse that was obviously one of Lindy’s designs, with patches of colorful silk brocade woven in amongst knitted sections that took the pattern of the patch fabric and expanded it into a fantastical chaos of color. “I love this thing.”

“Are we going to a movie or not?” Lindy asked, starting to wrap up her work so she could stow it safely away in the large bag she carried with her almost everywhere. “If we aren’t going, I need to go get some real work done somewhere I won’t be likely to spill.”

The table in the diner booth they had occupied for the past hour and a half was covered with the remains of their meals, glasses and coffee cups, and a litter of sugar and sweetener packets.

“Isn’t it a little late to worry about that?” Allison asked, gesturing at the table. “I can’t go, actually. I need to get some work done too.”

“This sucks. I don’t want to go alone,” Tess complained. “Ally, it’s Sunday afternoon. What are you working on, on a Sunday afternoon?”

Allison felt a flush creeping over her face. She knew Tess wasn’t paying attention, and would take whatever words she heard at face value and just keep breezing along with her day. But she could tell Lindy was watching her, in Lindy’s typically quiet, hyper-observant way, and knew perfectly well she wasn’t really going to work. And lately, Allison thought, Lindy might just be likely to go ahead and voice that knowledge.

Her mind skipped ahead to her plans for an afternoon and possibly even an evening in front of the computer, digging herself a little further into her insane virtual relationship with Seth.

“A lot of people are in the game on Sundays, so it’s a good time to do some research.” It was the truth. She herself didn’t intend to do any research, but Sunday certainly was a good time for that sort of thing if she had been planning on it.

“Have fun,” Lindy said. If Allison hadn’t known her cousin better, she would have sworn she caught a slightly arch expression flit over her normally reserved face.

“Thanks. Uh, you too.”

And then Allison caught it—a tiny chink in Lindy’s armor of shyness, a brief glimpse of her eyes sliding to the side to avoid contact, an almost imperceptible flexing of the upper lip… And then Lindy actually bit her lower lip, something Allison couldn’t recall ever seeing her do.

“I intend to.”

Then they were distracted by a discussion of the check, which they ended up splitting evenly three ways, as always. Allison was in her car and on the road before she thought back to Lindy’s expression and the recent changes in her demeanor. What was going on there?

“Is Lindy actually seeing somebody?” she asked herself. As far as she knew, Lindy had never even had a serious boyfriend. She might even still be a virgin. The situation bore some thinking about.

But that thinking would have to wait. As soon as Allison got home, changed into more comfortable clothes and logged in to the game, she saw
Notmyrealname
in the “friends online now” window. He was waiting for her. She finished preparing her cup of tea, settled herself in front of the computer and lifted her hands to the keyboard to dive into the little separate virtual reality she and Seth seemed to be creating together.

Chapter Five

They were both tired of doing the same daily quests, both in the mood for blowing off some steam by doing something more fun than challenging. At Seth’s suggestion, they both started new alternate characters and had grand fun together racing through the first ten game levels and marveling at how easy it was to do these early starter quests after spending so much time in the higher levels of the game.

After a few hours of flirtatious chat and serious questing, Allison finally begged off. Her legs were falling asleep and she was hungry again. She wasn’t surprised, though, when the phone rang just as she was finishing her BLT and trying to think of an excuse to put off washing the dishes.

She picked up, glancing at the caller ID from habit but already knowing it would be Seth.

“I missed you.”

She laughed, but was glad he couldn’t see the warm blush she could feel sweeping over her cheeks.

“You just chatted with me for almost three hours. We killed about a hundred
treemonsters
and a giant bat together, remember?”

“Well, but that didn’t really count. That was just in the game. It’s not really quality time. So what did you have to eat?”

“BLT.”

“Sounds yummy. I had some soup I got at the grocery store the other day. And now I’m trying to be productive and do some proofreading.”

The few dishes in the sink weren’t worth running the dishwasher for. A plate, a few utensils and the skillet she had used to fry bacon for her sandwich. Allison hated washing dishes by hand, but resigned herself to the task. She let the water run over her hand as it warmed up. Even in the hottest weather, the water in her apartment took a ridiculously long time to reach a reasonable temperature for dishwashing or baths. Now, with the autumn chill starting to set in, Allison knew she was in for at least a five-minute wait before the water would be hot enough to wash dishes.

“Proofreading? So how are you going to do that and talk to me at the same time?”

“Practice. So you know, this paper has a lot to do with something we were talking about the other day at breakfast, about
Adelston
. I’m citing him in the section where I describe methodology, because we’re having to control to some degree for addictive tendencies and the whole gambling aspect of the auction system.”

“Fascinating.”

“Isn’t it, though? Are you falling asleep yet?”

“No, it’s okay. Go ahead. I’ll let you know if it gets too dull.”

The phone was wedged between her shoulder and ear, and she let the dual influences of the water and Seth’s voice lull her into a sense of calm. He described the opening of his study, then some amusing anecdotes from the game that quickly had Allison giggling.

“Okay, but enough of that,” he finally said. “Enough serious talk about peer-reviewed research and spells that turn your enemies into zombie slaves. So, what are you doing now?”

“Washing dishes.
Vegging
out in front of the sink, really. Thinking about these dishes I should be washing, but really just playing with the water.”

“Are you actually sleepy?”

“A little. Tired, more than sleepy. I’ll probably get a second wind in another few hours and stay up too late reading.” She felt like she was giving too much away, and needed something in return. “Are you still proofreading?”

“Yes. I hate it.”

“I still don’t get how you can do that and talk on the phone at the same time.”

“I read it backwards. If I think about the content I miss the errors.” A typing sound came through, muffled clacking of keys. “There, see, I just noticed a typo. And fixed it. How are the dishes coming?”

“The water’s still not warm enough. Plus I’m procrastinating, because I hate doing dishes.”

“Do you like proofreading?”

She saw the offer coming a mile away, but lacked the energy to take evasive maneuvers. “Yeah, I do. As much as anybody does, I suppose.”

“I do not. However, I don’t mind—”

“Doing the dishes.”

“You read my mind.”

“It wasn’t exactly a closed book. Did you really think I’d fall for that one? You’re going to have to work harder than that.”

“I could stalk you. I do know where you live, you know. I didn’t find out on purpose, somebody mentioned it in passing. Not your apartment number or anything, but the building. Big divided Victorian
fourplex
on Madison, there’s only one of those. And it’s a
fourplex
, so how long could it take to figure out which one is yours?”

The water went from lukewarm to scalding without warning and Allison snatched her hand back with a hiss. “Damn it. Hang on. I burned my hand.” She put the phone down on the counter and flipped the faucet handle to cold, letting the sting subside before she picked the handset up again. “Sorry. You were saying something about stalking me?”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, the water just has a mind of its own when it comes to temperature. It’s fine. It happens all the time. I should’ve been paying attention.”

“I distracted you.”

“You have a tendency to do that.” She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth, dreading what she knew she had to say next.

“I like that,” Seth said with a smile she could hear through the phone line.

“I don’t. I don’t like being distracted. I have important things to pay attention to. I get distracted and I get burned. I need to go, Seth.”

“Wait. Allison, wait.”

“No.” But she didn’t hang up. She wanted to but she couldn’t. Tears started welling up behind her eyes, making them ache, making her throat tighten.

“Allison. I wasn’t trying to distract you. I wasn’t trying to play games. Yeah, I was angling to come over, but it’s not like I was being all that subtle. Did you ever stop to consider that maybe you’re distracted because you’re working so hard to ignore the obvious?” It was the first time she had heard him sound even remotely annoyed.

“Excuse me?”

“I want you. Not just on the computer. I was full of shit the other night, and I take it all back. I never lie and I shouldn’t have lied then. I think continuing to confine our relationship to
cybering
is a stupid idea. I want to do in person what we’ve been doing over the computer. A lot. I want that a lot. And I think probably I want more than that, but right now I’m mainly going crazy because I can’t think about anything else but coming over there and dragging you to bed and making love to you until neither one of us can walk. And you feel the same way.”