How To Walk In High Heels: The Girl's Guide To Everything (31 page)

To download and swap files you have to rest your Palm Pilot in a cradle, which will simultaneously charge it. The gadget will sit on a little ‘hammock’ and can then be connected to your main computer via a USB lead that is attached to the computer. Why they give it this strange name I don’t know, but put simply, any lead that is connected to your computer will be able to send messages, files, memory via a USB port, which is a special high-speed port. It is this lead that lets you download the latest information.

But read on, because mobiles didn’t like to see these Palms taking their trade so have come back into the competition fairly quickly with their answer to the PDA.

How to benefit from Pagers, Palms and Blackberrys

These are all, essentially, pocket computers and once you have one you’ll be hooked. They have smaller and therefore simpler memories, but that’s really all you need as they are more like a pocket prompt until you are reunited with your full office, computer, telephone, assistant, coffee machine and executive chair.

A pager just flashes up a text message when you are needed, ideal for glamorous ER-style characters. They let you know to phone home. Immediately. A Palm is the hand-held assistant, as described above, that is a combination of letraset and a mini computer. The Blackberry is a non-edible computer that is a wide phone, which can retrieve corporate and personal POP/IMAP emails, and make them easy to download. Emailing isn’t its only trick, as it’s also a fully functioning Tri-band mobile phone, good for when you are in the States; it can handle GPRS (General Packet Radio Service – i.e. faster internet connection dial-up), SMS (Short Message Service – i.e. texts), WAP (Wireless Application Protocol – i.e. how to get on the internet when not at a computer), HTML (we’ve done this – Hypertext Mark-up Language), internet browsing, Java games, and has a PC-synchronisable calendar, tasks and contacts, blah blah blah. Most importantly of all, it fits into your handbag, which is a big phew.

How to keep time and time pieces

In an age when we are obsessed with time management and effective time use we are surrounded by timepieces, but the watch is becoming increasingly obsolete. That is not to say we are now telling the time by the sun and the stars, but a watch is now a luxury accessory, like earrings. Time is kept on your mobile, on your computer, in the dashboard of your car. Only bother to wear a watch if it’s a statement, and a designer, limited edition, or has particular sentimental value. Watches are also great to help you adjust to new time zones when you are being jet set.

How to get the most from your mobile

There is NO excuse for people not to call and not to be able to get hold of you, since the invention of the mobile phone. If he says he is going to call you, he’d better.

A mobile is the most essential accessory for keeping you in contact with the world, and therefore it is essential that you know how to use it and get the most out of it.

As with getting dressed in the morning, know when and for what you want to use your mobile. They can text, take photos, browse the internet, store names, addresses and birthdays, makes notes, do calculations. They also ring, can act as an alarm clock, and have made the humble wristwatch fall from favour.

Mobiles can come in a variety of shapes, sizes and colours, and, depending on you, can do pretty much anything.

A brief history

Can you believe that fifteen years ago mobiles were a rarity? A mere fantasy? Now can you even imagine life without one? When was the last time you used a pay phone, and stood in a red telephone box, not that many are in fact red, but you see how times are changing?

A cell phone/mobile is basically just like a radio. It picks up signals from towers and transmits through these, which is why you have better signals in some areas and why it doesn’t work underground. (Yet.)

It all started in the 1870s with Alexander Graham Bell and an analytical chemist called Michael Faraday who began research into whether space could conduct electricity. His discoveries were crucial to the development of the cellular phone.

In 1946, on 17 June, in St Louis, Missouri, AT&T and Southwestern Bell introduced the first American commercial mobile radio-telephone.

There was a lot of tinkering and experimenting with transmissions and transmitters, and by 1973 Dr Martin Cooper made the first call on a portable cellular phone. The former general manager of Motorola is considered to be the inventor of the first portable handset.

In 1977 mobile phones went public. Public cell phone testing began, the first trials being in Chicago with 2,000 customers, and then it spread to Washington DC and Baltimore. Japan began testing in 1979.

1988 was a key year in cell phone history, with the development of the Cellular Technology Industry Association (CTIA). Despite demand it took over thirty-seven years for the cell phone to become commercially accessible in America. It is now an industry that grosses over $30 billion per year. Make sure your contribution counts.

Phones have developed and changed with fashion, going from the bricks carried by Melanie Griffith in
Working Girl
to the micro mini phones that are being consistently updated, and shrinking by the minute.

Get a good ring tone

Just as with rings, ring tones matter. Is your engagement ring from Tiffany’s and have you downloaded the latest chart track or some achingly cool melody as your ring tone?

To download a ringtone you usually press 0 on your mobile. This should connect you to the mobile’s web browser, the WAP; if it doesn’t, you are very unlucky and you will have to ask your operator what to press. Then you scroll down through the options and it will offer you a variety of the latest ring tones. The phone networks do charge for this service, so choose your tone with care – you don’t want to be changing it every day. And ‘Hello Barbie Let’s Go Party’, may make you smile, but how will it go down in a board meeting?

Use a mobile and text

First charge your mobile and turn it on.

With a Nokia, the simplest and most widely used mobile, you should check that you have all the bars on the left-hand side of the screen showing, as this indicates how great your signal is. This sounds far too obvious, but it is worth looking at the banner as you don’t want to get cut out mid-flow. With all other fancy-pants phones, look to one side to check signal is up high, the other to see how high the battery is, as both need to be as full as possible to cope with a decent-length call.

Dial the number that you wish to ring, or scroll through your address book, select name to find number.

Then hit the logo of a phone handset lifted up, as in ‘in use’, as in ringing.

You should now hear a ringing tone, and hopefully fairly soon a voice at the other end will answer your call.

When your call has finished you hang up by pressing the handset graphic; this will end your call.

Mobiles work in a similar way to normal telephones, the main difference being that you can have one number that will work anywhere and, providing you have the correct type of phone (you want either tri-band or quad-band), it will let you make and receive calls anywhere in the world.

The main techniques to master are ringing and texting. Competence with any other gizmo is an added bonus.

The joy of sms

‘Standard Messaging Service’, or texts to you and me.

You have an Inbox, an Outbox and a Write/Create Message box.

Similar to emails, yet much more primitive, text messages are sent between mobiles and arrive in your Inbox from other people, can be written in your Write Message box and can be saved in your Outbox.

Text messaging is a way of instant contact, without the chat.

Despite what others may send to you, do not give in to peer pressure and resort to nauseating abbreviations. Always use the Queen’s English, and try to punctuate where possible. If you find yourself on the receiving end of some of these truncated horrors the following should help you to translate.

C U 2morrow? Not likely if you send a message like this. A strange new dictionary of phrases that, being part of the modern world, you will need to translate:

AML All my love * AWHFY Are we having fun yet * AKA (Also known as) and ASAP (As soon as possible) are permissible abbreviations

B4 Before * BF Boyfriend * BBFN Bye bye for now

CUL8r See you later * Cm Call me

Dur? Do you remember?

EOD End of discussion

F2T Free to talk * FYI For your information – this is also acceptable

Gr8 Great

H8 Hate * H&K Hugs and kisses * H2CUS Hope to see you soon

I2I Eye to eye * IOU I owe you – this is fine, pre-dates text illiteracy

JFK Just for kicks (sure the late President would be thrilled)

KHUF Know how you feel

LOL Lots of love * L8r Later

MYOB Mind your own business

NE1 Anyone (I mean HOW are you going to guess that?) * NC No comment

O4U Only for you

PCM Please call me

QT Cutie

R Are

SOL Sooner or later * SME1 Someone

T+ Think positive * T2ul Talk to you later

U You * UR You are

VRI Very

W4u Waiting for you

X Kiss (finally a phrase you will be familiar with)

YBS You’ll be sorry

Zzzz

Smileys are said to express mood. But if you want to express mood, and not cause a bad mood, call the person. This is just the tip of the emoticon iceberg.

: - ) smiley happy face

; -) smiling winking face

: -( sad face

Send concise messages rather than codes that will baffle and irritate the receiver.

Predictive text has also become a feature on most mobiles, and this will anticipate, sometimes with bizarre results, what letters they think you are going to need. As long as you read what you have written before you send, this is another tool to ensure full and healthy sentences.

Another bonus is that text messages do not expire, but they can be incriminating evidence, it depends if you are giving or receiving, in or out of love.

Think before you send.

Also save any really good text messages as long as you have space, as they can perk up your Inbox on a really crap day.

And God created voicemails

To quote Stevie Wonder, ‘I just called to say I love you.’

If you cannot reach the person you are trying to talk to the mobile will normally offer you the option of leaving a message. This is great, but try not to waffle and keep the message concise, to the point and informative:

State your name: there are a lot of ‘just me’s about.

Your reason for calling: can’t meet you later, etc. Wanted to talk to you is obvious – you called.

Leave a number you are available on for them to call back, or say that you will call them again.

When leaving numbers, in particular, speak SLOWLY, or say it twice. There is nothing more frustrating than having to root around to find a pen and paper only to have to listen to the message nine times before you can catch the number spat onto the machine at high speed.

Never break up with someone via a voicemail/text.

Never pour your heart out or ramble on for too long: bear in mind that they can play your message, perhaps even on speaker phone, to an entire gaggle of friends before it expires.

If you have left more than three voicemails and still had no reply KNOW WHEN TO GIVE UP!

Send picture messages

Away on holiday? Lying on a beach? Or in a store and having a complete ‘does my bum look big in this?’ crisis and need a second opinion? Well, thank the lord for picture texting.

Now most mobiles incorporate the option to take photographs with a mini built-in camera. This can be very useful but you need to have a friend who is able to receive photos. This is crucial as to whether or not you need to learn how to do this.

A basic digital camera allows you to direct a teeny tiny lens at said situation, click and photograph. This is then saved as a jpeg on the mobile and, providing your recipient understands their photo-messaging service, you can share the image. Jpegs are to pictures what MP3 is to music. Remember: a problem shared is a problem halved, and it is a fact that all mirrors in changing rooms have some kind of optical illusion going on. Mobiles can also send text pictures to email, once the correct setting is installed.

Send a videotext

Now phones can even send moving images – videotexts. Get to grips with texts and photo messaging before going to the third level.

Videotexts are great if you are a budding Hollywood director keen to showcase your work; but, if not, they do zap a lot of power that could be better spent discussing last night or your eventful bus journey.

And just because there are all these technological leaps forward do not forget the power of a humble postcard. No one ignores a letter or a card through the post, and everyone loves to receive them.

How to use a camera

Aim camera at subject, look through viewfinder, check the lens cap is off. Ensure you have tops of heads and all the body parts in the frame you wish to see. Point and shoot. Modern cameras deal with the shutter release, aperture control, focus and so on.