How To Walk In High Heels: The Girl's Guide To Everything (7 page)

How to get a tan

Tanning is the fast and simple way to look better. The English Rose look works fine for pre-1900s, Merchant Ivory films or Nicole Kidman, but for the majority of women a golden glow can work miracles. It makes you look healthier, improves skin, and slims. It is not, however, a sport to be taken to excess.

It was Coco Chanel in the 1920s who first turned tanning into a status symbol. It is said that she wore gloves and a veil while sun-bathing, which must have caused some very bizarre tan lines.

Now we’re all wise to the dangers of the sun, it takes a lot of time, effort and really cooperative weather to achieve a good look naturally. Take a moment to pause and praise the inventors of fake tan. And also do the maths: faking it is so much cheaper than flying off for two weeks in the sun.

There are lots of products on the shelves and you should find one to suit you. To avoid the shame of tell-tale streaks make sure you exfoliate and wash rigorously, scouring your ankle, knee and elbow joints before you begin. Then, after moisturising, apply tanning cream all over your body.

Immediately, with all the paranoia of Lady Macbeth, wash your hands and be sure to go between your fingers. Toes and creases, such as elbows and knees, ears and ankles are all problem patches to look out for. Take extra care and wipe around joints and creases with tissue to remove any excess tanning cream. Caution at this stage will minimise bizarre stripes that are hard to justify as ‘natural’. Should stripes appear a dab of nail varnish remover on the skin wipes away the tanning slip.

Don’t wear deodorant, or anti-perspirant while ‘tanning’. Rumour has it there could be a funny reaction and your underarms could go green – and that really would be a disaster.

Currently the two most popular options are:

St Tropez
self-tan is very popular with the contributing ‘stars’ featured in
Hello!
and
OK!
magazines. It follows a similar process to that of basting a turkey. The dark treacle-like lotion is applied and the colour change is almost immediate. This is far too tricky (and stainable) to do at home, so fall asleep on a dark-coloured towel and let a professional slap it on. It produces a dark rich tan, too heavy and orangey for pale skins. Roughly the equivalent of two weeks in Cuba.

Fantasy Tan
is ideal for the fairer skinned or first timer, and is the most effective and painless form of faking it. No greasy application or tedious procedures here. It’s not a sun bed, it’s an airbrush. What looks like a watered-down version of the St Tropez treacle is sprayed in circular curls over the body. The tanning mist settles on the body, and the sun spray (DHA) works with the amino acids in the skin, causing a chemical reaction. You should exfoliate and moisturise the night before as once you are there you just strip, they squirt, and you (redress and) go.

If you do insist on being old-school and going au naturel, baste yourself in high factors, cautiously decreasing factor as tan develops. Optimise tanning opportunities by running around scantily clad. Regularly top up the factor, remember to rub cream on toes, all round the neck and collar line, and don’t forget those ear lobes. Always ensure you have UV/UB filters in your cream, as this is the bit that protects you.

Leave conditioner in hair, so it doesn’t get bleached and turn crispy. Or wear a hat. Better to have a straw hat than straw hair.

Whichever way you go, be it fake or natural, always go light and gentle on the face.

How to swim in shades

Not only does wearing shades mean you don’t have to worry about your mascara, they aid vision and add glamour to the pool.

To avoid them becoming dislodged while you’re in the water, wrap an elastic band around each arm of the shades. Twist and twist and then, just before the last twist is too tight to take any more, thread a strand of hair through the loop, like a mini ponytail, only this one is a small piece hidden behind each ear. This will ‘superglue’ the shades to your ears, and however high the waves and however often you tip off your lilo, your shades will stay. Leaving you, in theory, looking like a modern day Ursula Andress.

It’s likely that they will get wet, so don’t throw away one of your fave pairs on this. Every girl should have a few options: swim shades, beach shades, shopping shades, posing shades, morning after shades, etc.

And most crucially, don’t forget they are clamped on, as this makes lending them and taking them off quickly tricky. If you need to look over them, tip them down rather than remove them. Take them off in a changing room, or alone, as whimpering in pain may be the price you have to pay.

How to keep your colour

Highlights show less regrowth than a full head of hair. The blonder you are the darker the roots will grow. To make up for this blondes show grey less than darker colours.

If you’re going grey or white go for tints that can colour to the root.

Colour should be refreshed every 6–8 weeks. Don’t neglect it, the only person that really suffers is you. Blondes should use a purple/silver shampoo to get rid of the tacky brassiness.

In between salon visits NEVER try touching up your colour yourself. Similarly if your perm starts to dry or flop get straight to the hairdressers.

To prolong colour you should rinse hair in cold water to close the cuticles.

Fact: faux redheads require the most salon trips and maintenance.

Tips for the hair salon experience

1
   However long you thought you would be – DOUBLE it.

2
   Always dress to impress when you go to the hairdressers. You want a trendy style? Give them something to work with. Inspire them.

3
   Be prepared. You will have to look at yourself for hours and hours and HOURS. Bring a book, magazine, or temporary blindness, because, under the unforgiving light and uninterrupted scrutiny, even the most vain will tire of the sight of themselves and start to see faults that no one else notices.

4
   Do not opt for a style that you need to have a degree in cutting and hairdressing to recreate each morning, unless you are or live with a hairdresser.

5
   Never say ‘Do what you fancy.’ They will scalp you or, worse, get ‘creative’. It will take months for your hair, along with your confidence, to grow back.

6
   Know what style suits your face, and stick with it. Be cautious about following trends.

7
   Assess the conversational skills of your hairdresser. Do you need a) a book – no interaction; b) magazine – occasional smile and comment, ‘Ugh! You’re not going too short, are you?’; c) neither – you have a comedian cutting/drying your hair and you enjoy the banter.

8
   Never chat when they are cutting your fringe, they could have your eye out. Or you could end up with hair in your mouth. Most unpleasant.

9
   It is hard to hear when the dryer is on, so get past the punch line of the story before then.

10
  Be aware of the weather. What is the point of getting a ‘do’ done and then stepping out into a hurricane or downpour? It is common sense ALWAYS to have a brolly with you.

For further reading
, but perhaps not at the salon, where you have weeks’ worth of back issues of
Heat
and so on to devour, have a look at:

Heads: Hair
by Guido (Booth-Clibborn Editions, 2000).

Hair and Fashion
by Lee Widdows and Caroline Cox (V&A, 2005).

Bad Hair
by James Innes-Smith and Henrietta Webb (Bloomsbury, 2002). Photographs of hair-dos that should never have been allowed and nothing to let your hairdresser get inspired by.