Isaac’s knuckles turned white clutching the back of the chair. “No,” he wailed in protest. “Why are you afraid of me? I would never hurt you.”
“You hit Tyler.”
“I’m not like that. I wasn’t thinking straight that night. Love makes you do terrible things.”
“Real love never seeks to destroy. Love is meek and kind and patient.”
Her words doused the fire in Isaac’s eyes. He sat on one of the chairs at the table, buried his face in his hands, and started sobbing. “I wouldn’t ever hit you. I love you.”
Breathing as if she’d hiked up a mountain, Beth held perfectly still and stared at her brother-in-law. A feeling larger than the sky and lighter than the air swelled inside her as the weight of four long years tumbled off her shoulders. She wasn’t afraid of Isaac or Amos anymore. Never again would she allow Amos’s memory to cripple her future.
Why had she been holding on to the fear for so long when all she had to do was open her hands and let it go, open her heart and hand her pain to God? She’d been so angry with God that she had pushed Him away without realizing He was the one she needed the most.
Four days ago, she’d believed God brought her to Indiana to settle things with Treva, to make sure she would be taken care of, but now she knew that God had led her here to find this part of herself—the part big enough and brave enough to step into the darkness and take God’s hand.
She turned to gaze at Tyler, who patted Toby’s back and whispered comforting words into his ear. The love of a gute man and the joy of a beautiful child were her most precious gifts. She’d never be afraid of anything ever again as long as she clung to her faith that God would walk her through any trial.
Beth tiptoed over the plates scattered over the floor. She saw Tyler stiffen as she laid a hand on Isaac’s shoulder. Isaac did not lift his head. “Good-bye, Isaac. Take care of your mamm.”
Treva still stood at the table as if unsure of what had happened. Beth went to the counter and pulled four of Mammi’s potholders from the drawer where she had stored them the first day she came to Nappanee. Then she put her arm around Treva. “My mammi wanted you to have these.”
Treva stared at the potholders. Beth laid them on the table. “You don’t need to worry, Treva. Your family will watch out for you. I will write every week and come next summer, Lord willing. God will take care of you, no matter what.”
Treva didn’t respond. Beth hadn’t expected her to. She couldn’t very well start yelling again while Isaac bawled like a baby in her kitchen.
Beth glanced at Tyler. He regarded her with such tenderness in his eyes that she thought she might melt. She couldn’t return to his side fast enough. With Toby firmly wrapped in one arm, he held out his hand, and she took it. His touch felt like walking into a cozy house after a night spent in the icy wind.
Her legs felt weak and her breathing sounded as ragged as his. “Will you take me home?”
“
Now
you want my help?”
“Now and forever.”
That deep furrow between his eyebrows disappeared as his expression relaxed. “I can live with that.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
They tiptoed into Mammi and Dawdi’s house at one in the morning. It was officially Christmas Eve. Beth cradled Toby in her arms, and Tyler carried the bags and the car seat. Beth felt the urge to kneel down and kiss the floor, she was so glad to be home.
Once they’d left the Hostetlers’, it had only taken a few minutes to calm Toby down. Tyler had fed him fruit snacks and read him books until he miraculously fell asleep, and he hadn’t made a peep the rest of the trip. Once Tyler had taken care of Toby, he’d turned his attention to Beth, who never would have admitted she needed taking care of but had found Tyler’s presence the only thing that kept her from bursting into tears.
He hadn’t said much as he had reached across Toby’s car seat and taken Beth’s hand. He had interlaced his fingers with hers and caressed the back of her hand with his thumb. “Is this okay?” he had said.
Okay? She’d never wanted it to end.
He’d held on to her for the rest of the ride.
Without lighting a lantern, they went to Toby’s room, where Tyler deposited the bags and seat and Beth placed Toby in his crib. He barely moved a muscle as she tucked the blanket around his ears like he liked it.
She straightened to find Tyler standing beside her, watching Toby. “He’s had a hard day, poor little guy,” he said.
“Jah, he’s glad to be in his own bed.”
The soft moonlight streaming through the window fell on Tyler’s face, and his gaze made her tremble. Without taking his eyes off her lips, he slipped his arms around her waist. When he brought his mouth down on hers, a sigh came from deep in her throat as she let him kiss her to heaven. Her heart pounded wildly as it struggled to keep pace with her happiness. She felt as if she were a completely different person standing on the threshold of the rest of her life. She’d traveled thousands of miles in one short week. One part of her story had ended, and something wonderful was about to begin.
He left her panting for air when he pulled away. With his lips within an inch of hers, he said, “I am so mad at you right now.”
She snapped her head back and drew away in shock. “You are?”
“Jah,” he said, pulling her back into his embrace. “Don’t you ever do anything like that again.”
A giggle burst from her lips. “Like kiss you?”
His arms tightened around her. “Don’t pretend you don’t know what I mean. When Felty told me you had gone to Indiana with Isaac, I think I sweat off ten pounds worrying about you. I know what they did to you. I would have done anything to save you from that pain again.”
“God led me to Indiana.”
“I wished He’d told me about that.”
Beth smoothed a lock of hair from Tyler’s forehead. “I needed to finish things, to stand up to my past and everybody in it.”
“It was torture watching you put yourself in danger like that.”
“But you did.”
“Because you asked me to.”
She rose on her tiptoes and brushed her lips across his. He held his breath. “Thank you for trusting me.”
He softened his stern frown and gave her a swift kiss of his own. “I didn’t want you poking me with one of your sunflowers.”
“You believed I was strong enough.”
“I’ve always known you were strong enough. You didn’t have to prove anything to me.”
“I had to prove it to myself,” Beth said. “If you had stepped in to rescue me, like you have a very bad habit of doing, I wouldn’t have known how strong I could be, and I wouldn’t have learned to put my trust in God.”
“How did you know Isaac would back down?”
“I didn’t.”
Tyler shuddered and laid three kisses on her cheek. “I didn’t want to know that.”
“But I knew God would take care of me, no matter what, even if I had ended up in the hospital.”
He kissed her on the other cheek. “Don’t make me think about it.”
“If Isaac had hurt me, God would have made good come from it. Imagine how it would have changed Isaac.”
Tyler shook his head. “I don’t care. It would have been unbearable to me. So please, don’t ever think about doing something like that again.”
“I won’t promise anything. You know how stubborn I am.”
He growled and squeezed the stuffing out of her. “I was afraid you’d say that.” He lowered his head and kissed her again, giving her the feeling of floating off the ground. She’d never grow tired of this.
When he withdrew, he swayed back and forth, and she could tell he felt as bewildered as she.
“This could get very dangerous,” he said, not letting go for a second. “I can’t promise we won’t have our hard times. Considering our history, I have no doubt there are going to be times when I make you mad. And considering how I feel right at this moment, there are going to be times when I’ll be furious with you.” He tempered his scold with a grin. “No doubt this will annoy you, but I’m asking you to take a leap of faith. Will you marry me? I love you so bad I can’t hardly breathe. I know you’ve refused me twice already. Some people would say I can’t take a hint, but I’m asking again, and I’ll probably keep asking until you are forced to move to Florida to be rid of me.”
“Tyler,” she groaned, in mock irritation. “Stop talking. Just stop talking.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t you dare apologize.” Standing on her tiptoes, she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulled him as close as she possibly could, and kissed him soundly. “Who am I to refuse a man who is willing to put up with me?”
Even in the dead of winter, his smile could have set three forests on fire.
“I love you,” she whispered, when she really wanted to shout.
He kissed her again as if drinking her in, and she abandoned herself to the pure emotion.
They parted quickly as a ribbon of light illuminated the hallway. Dawdi appeared in his nightshirt, carrying a lantern and squinting into the darkness of Toby’s room. “Tyler and Beth,” he said as if he often encountered amorous great-grandchildren at one in the morning. “Merry Christmas Eve.”
“Merry Christmas Eve, Dawdi.”
Without another word, Dawdi turned and shuffled back down the hall.
It was fortunate their quiet laughter didn’t wake Toby.
Tyler groaned and pulled himself farther away from her. “I’d better go before we disturb the entire household.”
“You mean Mammi?”
“I’d rather not give her a heart attack.” He walked backwards slowly, as if it were painful to part from her. “Can I see you on Christmas morning?”
“Why not Christmas Eve morning?”
“I’ve got some shopping to do.”
She cocked her eyebrow. “Don’t buy me anything. You know how offended I get about gifts.”
“I wouldn’t dream of offending you.”
“I’ll be at my mamm’s house.”
He smiled. “So will I.”
Felty doused the lantern and climbed back into bed.
Anna rolled over. “Was it a mouse?”
“Nope. Tyler and Beth spooning.”
Anna sat straight up. “Is that so?” She nudged Felty’s shoulder. “I was right about them. I knew I was right.”
“I’d never argue with you about that.”
Anna lay down, scooted close to her husband, and draped an arm over him. “Did they look happy, Felty? Really happy?”
“Tyler was kissing our pretty granddaughter. Of course he looked happy.”
“All young people should be so happy. Don’t you agree?”
Sensing a trap, Felty rolled over and tried to make out his wife’s face in the darkness. “What trouble are we in if I agree?”
“Now, Felty. I’m just saying that if we can bring sunshine into a young person’s life, then we should do it.”
“Are you thinking of anyone in particular?”
“Of course not. It’s a good rule to live by.”
Felty relaxed into his pillow. As long as Anna wasn’t thinking about another one of her matches, everything would be right as rain. “Jah, a gute rule to live by.”
Anna gathered the covers around her chin. “We need to think of a way to get our grandson Ben back to Bonduel.”
“Annie-banannie, I knew you were scheming.”
Anna grinned. “It will take something special to lure him here.”
“He lives in Florida. What boy in his right mind would trade Florida for Wisconsin?”
“A boy in love.” She patted his hand. “You might have to break your leg.”
“Break my leg?”
“If he thought you needed his help on the farm, he’d come back.”
“I’d rather not break any bones for your romantic notions, Annie.”
Anna pursed her lips. In the dimness, Felty could see the wheels turning in her head. “Hmmm. I bet he’d come back for asthma. Or a serious case of shingles.”
“Maybe
you
should get the shingles.”
“Well, Felty, I don’t see any other way around it.
We won’t be able to persuade Emma Nelson to go to Florida.”
Felty wrinkled his forehead. “Emma Nelson? She’s the reason he went to Florida.”
“And she’s the reason he’ll come back.”
“I thought you said he’d come back if I broke my leg.”
“Oh, thank you, Felty. Would you really?”
Chapter Twenty-Six
On Christmas morning, Mamm’s house burst at the seams. Beth’s entire immediate family was there, including Aaron Junior with his new wife and all the younger siblings. Aunt Ruth Anne and Uncle Matthias’s family came, along with Uncle Tim’s family. Three of Uncle Titus’s ten children were there with five of his grandchildren. One of Beth’s favorite cousins, Ben, was gone because he’d moved to Florida last summer.
Beth and Toby had slept at Mammi and Dawdi’s last night as usual. Early this morning, the four of them had come to Mamm and Dat’s to be a part of the Christmas morning festivities. The children always did a little Christmas play for the grownups, and then they would exchange gifts and cook a giant Christmas breakfast.
Beth’s head was so full of Tyler Yoder, she was sure she’d be useless in the kitchen until she saw him again. Would he come early or wait until later this afternoon? He’d have to do the milking first, so she might not see him for several hours. The thought dampened her Christmas spirit.
Mamm had hung evergreen boughs over every window and tied them up with cheery red bows. A saucepan of cinnamon sticks and cloves simmered on the stove every day in December, so the house always smelled like Christmas.
The family crowded into Mamm’s great room and listened as Beth’s brothers and the younger cousins recited poems they had learned for the school Christmas pageant. Then Beth’s brother Menno supervised the children in a reenactment of the Nativity scene. Since he was the youngest child there, Toby got to be the baby Jesus. He didn’t really appreciate the honor. He pulled at the blanket they wrapped around him and draped it over his head, trying to get someone to play peek-a-boo.
Beth giggled with the others while keeping an eye turned to the front window, hoping by sheer will to bring Tyler to her. Now that he was truly hers, the minutes they spent apart seemed like eternities.
Everyone laughed as Toby took Uriah’s shepherd’s staff, a broom, and began dragging it across the floor as if he were cleaning up.
The loud, determined knock on the door surprised even Beth. Her heart did more somersaults than a tumbler in the circus, and she leaped to her feet. She wanted to be the first to greet Tyler on Christmas morning.
He stood on the porch with that solemn look on his face that she had grown to adore, holding a fistful of sunflowers. Real sunflowers. How had he managed that in the dead of winter?
She laughed at the sheer joy of seeing him. “You came.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Was there any doubt in your mind that I would? A thousand unmilked cows couldn’t have kept me away.” He leaned close and whispered, “Yesterday about killed me. I never want to be separated again.”
For a moment, he stared at her lips, and she thought he might kiss her right there. She found herself wanting it even though her family would die of shock.
Mamm broke the connection when she called out, “Invite him in, Beth. It’s cold out there.”
Tyler stepped inside and handed the sunflowers to Beth. “I brought you a gift.”
Beth took the flowers and giggled. “You’re quite brave to give me such an irresistible weapon.”
“They’re not too much, are they?” he said, his eyes twinkling with amusement as he took off his coat. “I didn’t want to offend you.”
“They’re wonderful. Denki.”
It was then Beth realized that the entire room had fallen silent, and all her relatives stared at them with eager curiosity. Tyler shrugged his shoulders and wrapped his arm possessively around Beth. Beth looked at the flabbergasted faces of most of the adults in the room and couldn’t keep a giggle from escaping her lips. Her relatives seemed to take a collective breath before they exploded into laughter.
She shivered with pleasure when Tyler put his mouth close to her ear. “Do you want to tell them, or should I?”
“My parents might die of shock,” she whispered back.
He sprouted a quirky grin. “They already gave me their blessing.”
“Really?”
Tyler glanced at Beth’s sunflowers as if they might be a threat. “About three months ago.”
“What?”
“Mommy!” Toby squealed from across the room. He ran into Tyler’s arms and made himself comfortable there.
“I don’t know about anyone else,” said Uncle Titus with a good-natured growl, “but I’d like to know what’s going on here.”
Tyler smiled with his whole body as he bounced Toby on his hip. “We’re engaged.”
The whole family clapped and cheered as if Tyler had won a race. Tears brimmed in Dat’s eyes as he and Mamm embraced. Mamm remained dry-eyed. She had always been too sensible for tears.
Beth stared at Tyler in disbelief. “Three months?”
He took a step back and didn’t lose that smile. “Try not to destroy the whole bouquet at once.”
More puzzled than annoyed, she gave him a scolding twist of her lips and lowered the flowers as a token of peace.
Tyler chuckled. With his free hand, he hung his coat on one of the hooks inside the front door and retrieved a can of bright yellow tennis balls from the pocket. “Merry Christmas, Toby.”
Toby clapped his hands. “Ball, ball.”
Tyler put Toby down, sat on the floor next to him, and looked at Beth’s mamm. “Is it okay if I open these? Or would you rather I not? Balls will fly everywhere.”
“Pshaw,” Mamm said. “What’s Christmas morning without a little chaos?”
The can made a cheerful pop as Tyler broke the seal. Toby watched with wide eyes and breathless anticipation as Tyler handed him a ball. He reached out his other hand for the second ball. Not about to settle for two-thirds of his gift, he stretched out his arms, with a ball in either hand. Tyler balanced the last ball in the cradle of Toby’s elbows.
“Ball,” Toby said as he toddled away, determined not to let his balls tumble.
Beth laughed. The balls would be bouncing all around the great room soon enough.
“I want to hear the whole story of how you got together,” said Aunt Sally Mae.
“You can thank Felty,” Mammi said. “He agreed to let Beth come and live with us.”
Dawdi’s eyes twinkled as he stroked his beard. “Don’t you start, Banannie. Don’t you start.”
“It was out of sheer persistence,” Tyler said “I ask her to marry me three times. I think she said yes just to shut me up.”
Uncle Titus raised both eyebrows. “No woman can resist a man who makes a pest of himself.”
A sharp knock made them all jump. The younger children raced to the door. There was nothing like the excitement of an unexpected visitor.
Uriah reached the knob first, and he opened the door. At his feet sat a medium-sized box wrapped in white paper and tied with a red bow.
“What is it, son?” asked Aunt Ruth Anne.
Uriah picked it up and brought it into the house. “It says it’s for Beth.”
Beth glanced suspiciously at Tyler, who didn’t make eye contact and didn’t betray even a hint of a smile on his face. After handing him the sunflowers, Beth sat on the sofa, and Uriah gave her the present. Ten pairs of eyes watched as she pulled back the paper and reached into the box.
She pulled out a beautiful stainless steel saucepan, complete with a steamer and double boiler. The small card accompanying the pan said,
A wonderful-gute cook and cheesemaker needs the right tools.
She couldn’t suppress the warm glow that seemed to envelop her with every breath she took. Surely Tyler didn’t really believe she was a good cook, did he?
“Who’s it from?” Uriah asked.
“It doesn’t say.” Beth looked sideways at Tyler and twisted her mouth just so, indicating she knew exactly where it came from.
His lips twitched ever so slightly, but she could see he was determined to play dumb. He sat next to her on the sofa and examined the pan as if he’d never seen it before.
“That’s a real nice pan,” Mamm said. “They say if you steam your broccoli, it has more vitamins.”
Another knock at the door turned their attention. Another mass exodus by the children. Uriah seemed to have dibs on the doorknob. Again he opened the door to nobody, but a tall, bulky package stood on the porch.
Beth set her first gift aside. “Tyler,” she warned, scolding him with her eyes.
He tried very hard not to smile. “What are you looking at me for?”
Uriah and three or four other children stepped outside to survey the package. Little Evie covered her mouth with her hands and giggled.
“Oh ho ho, Matthias,” Uriah said. “I need your help.”
Uriah’s eleven-year-old brother, Matthias Junior, joined him on the porch. Matthias lifted the bottom of the package, tilting it until Uriah could catch the top end. Matthias turned and walked backwards into the house. The new package had to be at least five feet tall.
Beth lifted her eyebrows and nudged Tyler with her elbow. What did he think he was doing? He swiped his hand across his mouth as if wiping off a smile.
Uriah and Matthias set the package in front of her as the children gathered around in enthusiastic curiosity.
“Open it,” said little Evie, practically squealing. A gift always held so much excitement for children. Okay, Beth admitted, at the moment, she felt pretty excited herself.
But she tried to act annoyed. Tyler should never have spent so much money on her.
She stood and started at the top, ripping the paper right down the middle. Uriah and Matthias pulled the thick folds of paper from both ends. “Oh my,” said Beth.
“It’s a girl with no head,” Evie exclaimed.
Beth grinned. “It’s a dress form. I can put dresses on it to make sure they are the right size when I am sewing them.”
A small note was taped to the front.
A good seamstress needs her own model.
Beth ran her hand along the fabric that covered the dress form at the shoulders. This was not a casual, spur-of-the-moment gift. She looked up at Tyler. He studied her with those icy blue eyes that could have melted the North Pole. She formed the words on her lips without speaking them out loud. “Thank you.”
He shrugged and jiggled the bouquet as if he had no idea what she was talking about.
Choking back the tears that threatened to turn her into a Christmas Day spectacle, she climbed back onto the sofa and moved as close to Tyler as she dared without raising Mamm’s eyebrows. She didn’t deserve this, but her heart swelled at the thought that Tyler believed she did.
Her eyes almost bugged out when another knock came at the door, and she looked at Tyler as if he’d played a naughty practical joke. He looked away, suddenly very interested in who was at that door.
Uriah and Matthias and the other children crowded around as if a pile of candy waited on the other side. Uriah opened the door, and the cousins stuck their heads out and looked to their right. From where she sat, Beth couldn’t see any presents on the porch, but when the children jumped up and down and screamed in delight, she knew it had to be big.
Her little cousins disappeared, and it wasn’t too long before they heard Uriah call, “Dat, Uncle Titus, we need your help.”
Titus trudged out the door with Uncle Matthias. “Soon there won’t be room enough in this house for the people,” Titus grumbled.
Beth caught herself holding her breath. Whatever it was, he shouldn’t have.
Titus and Matthias each carried one end of the package wrapped in silver paper with the biggest Christmas bow Beth had ever seen. The bow itself had to be two feet in diameter. The way they moved, whatever hid inside must have been heavy. It looked almost like a small table.
Oh no.
Of all the outrageous things to do!
She gasped for air as her heart skipped several beats. She couldn’t accept this. It was too much. He was too wonderful for words.
Her hands trembled as she reached out and fingered the bow.
“Are you going to open it?” her cousin Rose asked.
Uriah stepped around the dress form and gazed curiously at Beth. “Do you want us to open it for you?”
Rendered speechless, all she could do was nod.
Rose carefully detached the spectacular bow; then six pairs of hands ripped at the paper to reveal a brand new batter y-powered sewing machine complete with its own cabinet.
The female relatives sighed collectively at such a wonderful sight.
The tears trickled down Beth’s face as if from a leaky faucet. Not in her wildest dreams had she ever hoped for a Bernina. She stood and ran her fingers across the top, admiring the smooth lines and crisp white knobs. She turned the handwheel just to see how smoothly it moved. The needle bobbed up and down effortlessly and without a sound. How many dresses could she make in a week with a machine like this?
She cherished the sight of it even as she grieved for its loss. She knew she couldn’t keep it. She could never accept something so extravagant. No matter how he protested, she would put her foot down and make Tyler take it back.
A small note sat underneath the presser foot.
An expert seamstress needs a fine machine. You should find a place to put it, because I refuse to take it back.
And then a postscript:
The sunflowers are in case you’re irritated.
No wonder he’d brought an entire bouquet.
“That’s quite a machine,” said Mamm, whose practical side was her only side. “Does it cook pancakes and iron your clothes too?”
“Oh, Sarah,” said Aunt Ruth Anne. “Don’t be such a spoilsport.”
Beth wiped her eyes and glanced at Tyler. The way he smiled, as if he knew he was going to get his way, left her feeling all jumbled and annoyed. She snatched the bouquet from his grasp, took him by the hand, and pulled him outside where they could have a little privacy.
“Are there more presents?” she heard Uriah say as she shut the door.
She turned to Tyler, ready to deliver an impressive lecture on the follies of giving his fiancée expensive gifts. “Tyler Yoder, you are in trouble.”