Hung Up (12 page)

James:
Is that why you aren’t telling me? Because you’re trying to protect my feelings?

Lucy:
Well—

James:
I feel emotionally wiped. I can’t keep having conversations like this with you.

Lucy:
I want things to be like they were before.

James:
That’s impossible. Shit has happened. You can’t rewind the past.

Lucy:
I know.

James:
Are you crying, Lucy?

Lucy:
I just feel so overwhelmed.

James:
I can’t keep talking. I can’t do this right now.

Lucy:
Can we talk later?

James:
I don’t know if I can keep having this conversation. What’s the point?

Lucy:
Please don’t sound so mad.

James:
I’m frustrated.

Lucy:
You’re not the only one going through hard stuff.

James:
It’s not my fault if you don’t know how to talk about your problems. You can’t take that out on me.

Lucy:
I’m trying my best.

James:
I’m not the kind of person who’s going to wait forever.

Lucy:
Yeah. I figured.

James:
Okay. We’ll talk later.

Lucy:
Promise?

James:
You know we’ll talk.

Lucy:
I just wish you wouldn’t sound so mad.

April 29, 7:34 p.m.

James:
Hey.

Lucy:
Hey.

James:
Just checking to see if you’ll answer when I call.

Lucy:
Do you have trust issues with me now?

James:
Did you have your psychology class again today, Lucy?

Lucy:
Is it that obvious?

James:
It is. Hey. I just want to make sure that we can move past that last call. I mean, move forward.

Lucy:
You say that like you want me to do something.

James:
Yeah, well. I want you to talk to me.

Lucy:
James, I am talking to you. We’re rebuilding. Remember. You
did
stand me up.

James:
God, Lucy, that’s so unfair to say considering the circumstances. I mean, I was out of the country!

Lucy:
I know. I shouldn’t use that against you. I shouldn’t have said that.

James:
What am I to you?

Lucy:
You’re James.

James:
No. Am I a phone friend? A guy you like? How do you think of me? I mean, what are we? What if I told you that I wanted to date somebody at my school?

Lucy:
I wouldn’t want to hear that. You know that. I already said that I like you.

James:
(Silence followed by a sigh.)

Lucy:
You’re not thinking about getting back together with Nan, are you?

James:
No.

Lucy:
Well, is there somebody else you like?

James:
I just said that to see what you’d say. There isn’t anybody.

Lucy:
That’s mean.

James:
What would you do if I drove out to your house right now?

Lucy:
Um, nothing. I’m at CeCe’s.

James:
Where does she live?

Lucy:
I’m not going to tell you. I don’t want you to drive out here.

James:
Not only are you secretive, you’re scared and confused.

Lucy:
No, I’m cautious. Okay. Maybe I’m a little overly cautious.

James:
No, you’re confused. And just so you know, in life, overly cautious people end up missing out.

Lucy:
Overly cautious people live longer.

James:
Not necessarily. And those that do have boring lives. Like tortoises. They live excruciatingly long, cautious, boring lives.

Lucy:
Don’t compare me to a tortoise.

James:
Prove me wrong. Let me come see you. Let’s be normal people. Let’s date.

Lucy:
I’m already a normal person and I don’t have to prove anything to you. I want to hang up.

James:
Just a couple of minutes ago you said you liked me and now you want to hang up. You’re erratic.

Lucy:
When did our relationship devolve into unprovoked name calling? I’m a tortoise? I’m not exciting? Now I’m erratic?

James:
You’re right. We should talk later.

Lucy:
Buh-bye.

April 29, 9:20 p.m.

Lucy:
If I’m erratic, then you’re repressed.

James:
What are you talking about?

Lucy:
It’s true. You’re very muffled when it comes to your emotions.

James:
You’re calling me emotionally muffled?

Lucy:
Yes.

James:
I don’t even think that’s a thing.

Lucy:
Sure it is.

James:
Well, I don’t think it’s a bad thing.

Lucy:
It could be. If you’re so muffled that I can’t understand you.

James:
You’re the one who doesn’t know how to talk to me about what’s going on with you. You already admitted to that. So quit trying to pin stuff on me.

Lucy:
Every time we talk, you seem pissed at me.

James:
I’m annoyed.

Lucy:
Can we have a nonangry conversation? What are you doing right now?

James:
I’m finishing a report on the Philippine-American War.

Lucy:
For somebody who doesn’t like writing essays or reading about war, you seem rather obsessed with both activities.

James:
I don’t want to be the kind of American who doesn’t know basic shit.

Lucy:
I don’t think that the Philippine-American War is basic shit. I think that’s advanced.

James:
Right. But it
should
be basic shit. We should know which countries our military has invaded or bombed or occupied, and why.

Lucy:
We’ll probably learn all that stuff in college.

James:
Why wait?

Lucy:
It’s only a few months away.

James:
Since you brought it up, I think it’s time that we finally start talking about college.

Lucy:
No.

James:
Yes.

Lucy:
It will make me itch.

James:
But we’ve already gotten acceptance letters, right? You’ve been accepted.

Lucy:
Maybe.

James:
Just answer the question.

Lucy:
Yes.

James:
Where?

Lucy:
Why?

James:
Lucy, stop being difficult and tell me where you got accepted.

Lucy:
How come you’re in such a bad mood all the time?

James:
You’re frustrating me to the point of insanity.

Lucy:
Okay. I’ve been accepted at UMass Amherst, University of New Hampshire, Bowdoin, and UVM.

James:
I’m going to UVM. Not that you asked.

Lucy:
Oh.

James:
You sound so thrilled.

Lucy:
No. That’s cool. If I go there too, maybe we could take a class together or something.

James:
Or something? I need to go.

Lucy:
I just don’t want to make too many plans about the future. Sometimes things change suddenly.

James:
Got it. I need to get back to work.

April 30, 8:12 p.m.

Lucy:
I never thanked you for the flowers.

James:
Nope, you didn’t.

Lucy:
They were lovely. So thank you.

James:
They’re already dead?

Lucy:
Most of them.

James:
You didn’t save any of them by hanging them upside down?

Lucy:
How did you know that girls do that? Is that what Nan and Beth Howie did?

James:
Sometimes I think that you’re obsessed with my ex-girlfriends.

Lucy:
Okay. I’ve got one word for you.

James:
What?

Lucy:
Greg Tandy.

James:
That’s two words.

Lucy:
I can’t believe you don’t realize what I’m telling you.

James:
What? What about Greg Tandy?

Lucy:
He is my ex-boyfriend.

James:
Really? The guy you loved?

Lucy:
Calm down. It was almost-love.

James:
Greg Tandy is a great forward. One of the best in the state.

Lucy:
Vermont is a small state. I doubt there’s all that many forwards.

James:
Ouch. So I take it the breakup wasn’t friendly?

Lucy:
When are breakups ever all that friendly?

James:
So what happened?

Lucy:
Long story short: He dumped me.

James:
Why? Was there somebody else in the picture?

Lucy:
No. I guess it’s more accurate to say that I hurt him and then he dumped me.

James:
Did you kick him in his no-no spot?

Lucy:
I
so
regret using that term with you.

James:
I like that you did.

Lucy:
James, sometimes I hurt people by not being able to give them what they want.

James:
Oh.

Lucy:
But I’m working on it.

James:
Are you talking about sex?

Lucy:
Not exactly.

James:
But partly?

Lucy:
Maybe. Yeah. I don’t know exactly.

James:
Is that new ground for you?

Lucy:
James, I am not going to talk about the state of my “ground” with you.

James:
You’re the one who brought it up.

Lucy:
I know. But I’ve said all that I want to say about it for now. I was calling to thank you for the flowers. That’s all. I have to go.

James:
I’m sorry about Greg Tandy. He was sort of a thug on the court. Lots of elbows. But he was pretty wimpy about taking hits. He overreacted to the tiniest bump. Always flopping for the foul. He was never my favorite.

Lucy:
You don’t have to trash Greg to cheer me up.

James:
I’m just being honest.

Lucy:
Me too.

James:
I guess we’re just a couple of honest people. Maybe that’s what drew us together.

Lucy:
Maybe. Can I ask you something serious? And it’s not about Bo.

James:
Sure.

Lucy:
How is your grandma?

James:
Oh, she seems to be doing fine. Sometimes I take her for drives. She likes to sing along to the radio.

Lucy:
Has she driven anywhere yet?

James:
No. She probably won’t drive again.

Lucy:
That’s so sad.

James:
It’s for her own good.

Lucy:
But when she was sixteen, she drove away to get a new life, and even though she went back to her family for a while, driving changed her whole future.

James:
She’s old now. She doesn’t need to drive. I’ll take her where she needs to go.

Lucy:
But she doesn’t have her freedom anymore. Don’t you worry that she feels like she’s living in a prison?

James:
I live in a pretty nice house.

Lucy:
That’s not what I mean. She isn’t able to do what she wants to do.

James:
There’s no perfect solution. I can’t send her off on I-89 and hope for the best.

Lucy:
I know.

James:
This is a good compromise.

Lucy:
Does she still ask if she can drive?

James:
Yeah.

Lucy:
If you’re taking her for rides, she knows that the car isn’t broken.

James:
I tell her that her driver’s license has expired.

Lucy:
Is that the truth?

James:
It will be in two months. I mean, it’s practically the truth.

Lucy:
Oh.

James:
I don’t normally lie. You don’t need to worry about that. When my grandmother isn’t slipping into a senile condition and asking for the keys to my mother’s Subaru, I’m a very honest person. I promise.

Lucy:
I hope she gets better.

James:
I don’t think people with her condition get better.

Lucy:
Maybe she needs another doctor. Sometimes doctors screw up. After surgeries, sometimes they leave sponges inside of people and sew them back up. And sometimes they amputate the wrong leg.

James:
You have real doctor issues.

Lucy:
I’m a cautious person.

James:
The doctor isn’t the problem in this situation, Lucy. My grandma is sick.

Lucy:
Well, I hope she
feels
better.

James:
Me too.

May 1, 5:49 a.m.

James:
I just thought of something and I want to talk about it with you.

Lucy:
It’s too early to be thinking and talking.