Hunger (15 page)

Ishk was not finished, however. “Do I have your forgiveness?”

Vanessa turned, her eyes flashing. “Accepting your apology is one thing, Ishk, but forgiving you is quite another. I think there is something behind this sudden change of heart, some gain you want, and I suspect it is at the expense of Lytril.”

Elissa came to stand by Vanessa. “Calm down, he is not worth you getting so worked up over. You should go, Ishk. Give her some time.”

“I do not have the luxury of time,” he said and his eyes flicked over to Evie. Something that Elissa noticed.

“Ishk, Vanessa does not believe you are sincere. Will you let me read you?” Elissa offered her hands to Ishk, who looked at them with distaste. “I realise you think of me as an abomination, but it’s the best chance you’re going to get to prove yourself.”

“Not an abomination.” He placed his hands in hers, and she gasped with shock.

With Ishk staring straight into her eyes, trying not to hide anything, Elissa spoke. Her hands were glowing with colours as they connected with Ishk’s skin.

“What is that? What’s wrong with Elissa’s hands?” Evie asked Celia quietly.

“She damaged her hands. Marin tried to repair them on the space station and somehow the DNA was mixed up and the new skin has some Karalian properties. She can read their emotions, but it also means they can read hers. As Lytril did when she first came here. It’s a little unnerving for both parties.

“You’re scared of me,” Elissa said.

“You are a mixture of us. The first time this has happened.”

“And you don’t like anything that is different.”

“You are right, it scares me,” he acknowledged.

“And what about your apology to Vanessa, did you mean it?”

“Yes,” Ishk nodded to confirm his words.

“Is there some reason you want her to forgive you?”

He looked uncomfortable, but had to answer truthfully or else Elissa would know he was lying and his chance would have gone to prove himself worthy. “Yes.”

“I knew it. You are only ever interested in what you have to gain. You had me whipped so that I would not want to be with Lytril, so that I would end up here. You hated the thought of your Hier Ruler changing his mind about humans,” Vanessa accused.

“Yes. I did. But now it’s different.” His eyes flicked to Evie once more.

Elissa abruptly dropped his hands, although their gaze was now locked, Ishk’s one of pleading. Then Elissa said, “Vanessa, I need to talk to you.”

“What?” Vanessa said as Elissa took her arm and led her away.

Celia leaned towards Evie as the other two women walked away. “I’ll tell you something, Evie. Things were never this exciting before you came.”

“I don’t think that’s a good thing. Do you?”

“Yes. I do. It’s time the men on this planet had their world shaken up a little. I would love to hear what those two are arguing about.”

And they were arguing, or at least it was a very heated debate, one that involved Vanessa looking between Ishk and Evie while listening to Elissa. Until Evie wondered how her fate was wrapped up in all of this.

He stood looking at the ground, not trusting himself to look at Evie, who must hate him now the truth was out. If they hadn’t already told her, then she would now know the extent to which he had pushed things to get what he wanted. Trying to keep his emotions and colours in check, he just stared at a piece of grass until he heard Vanessa and Elissa returning.

Vanessa, still mad as hell, from what he could read of her, stood with feet planted firmly apart. He wasn’t sure if the curled fist of her right hand was going to come into contact with his jaw.

“I know what you want,” Vanessa said, leaning in so that her voice could only be heard by him. “And I want you to know, that I will only forgive you, if Evie wants you. I will forgive you, for
her
. Not you. I want to make that quite clear.”

“It is clear. Thank you, Vanessa.”

She nearly spit in his eye, but she took a step back and made way for him to go to Evie. Who looked as if she wanted to bolt for the nearest closet.

“Evie, I have to apologise to you, too. I want you to know that only because of your understanding could I see what I had become. I know you don’t deserve a man like me; you deserve someone so much better, so much kinder. But I hope you will come home with me. That we can teach each other about our different species.”

“Ishk, I don’t want to be something you use for pleasure.” Evie blushed as she spoke, her skin going a beautiful shade of pink despite her bruises.

“That isn’t why I’m here. I know I have to prove myself to you, to all of you. But I have finally begun to understand what drove me to what I did. What I was trying to accomplish was the right thing for our people. That was what I truly believed until I met you. Now I see that it was what I had been taught to believe.”

“And you want me to accept that you have had a sudden and irrevocable change of heart?”

“Yes,” he said simply.

“Ishk,” she said, rubbing her face with the palm of her hands and shaking her head. For a moment, he thought he had lost her, that she would turn him away. Then she lifted her face to look at him. “If I come to live with you, it has to be as an equal. I know there are restrictions on our movements, but apart from that, we are the same. I am not above you, you are not above me.”

“I cannot promise I will not fail in some small way. Or some big way. I cannot promise you that there won’t be times that you will hate me. However, I do promise to listen to what you say, in the same way you will have to listen to what I say and try to understand me.”

She offered her hand to him. “Deal.”

He slipped his hand into hers, finding this an odd way to strike a bargain; humans certainly did like to shake hands. Not that he cared, because the touch of her against his skin was incredible. Her emotions flowed into him: her uncertainty, her hope, her hunger to make a family with him, to make this world her own.

Ishk, member of the Hier Council, smiled, and then leaned forward and kissed her, until the sensations through his hands became something else. Something deeper, and he wished they were alone.

“So, I think that might be our cue to leave,” Elissa said.

“Wait,” Vanessa said going to Ishk and Evie. “I forgive you, Ishk. If what you say to Evie is true, then I forgive you. But if it isn’t, if you hurt her in any way...” She took a deep breath and finished. “You will see a side to Earth women that you wish you hadn’t, because it will be the last thing you see.”

Evie looked up at him, waiting for his response, worry etching her face.

“You have every right not to trust me, Vanessa. I hope one day I may truly make amends for what I did to you.”

“Good luck, Evie.” She hugged Evie and then walked away.

Shame coursed through Ishk. Vanessa might well forgive him, but it would be a long time until
he
could truly believe he had
earned
her forgiveness for what he had done. Despite his intentions, he had crossed the line that day and become a monster. He only hoped he could redeem himself in the eyes of these female humans. Particularly Evie.

“I thought we would spend the night at your house here,” she said.

They were in his space cruiser, flying low across the grasslands, heading towards the mountains in the distance. He had helped her collect her belongings from the breeding house and then they had returned to his house, where he packed up some food and warm clothes before helping her into his cruiser. This time they were seated side by side at the control console, with a wide window in front of them so that she could take in all of the scenery.

“There is something I want to get for you. The sooner the better, I thought,” he said, checking a map, which was displayed to his right.

“For me? There is nothing I need.”

“I went to the archives and read through some of the journals. They date back from when the females of our species were still alive.”

“Really, you have all of those things stored away?” She was fascinated by what he said. How incredible to be able to read the journals written by their ancestors.

“Yes. After you talked about your mom and the tea she made for morning sickness, I guessed that our females would know of similar herbs.”

“You went searching for a remedy for my morning sickness?” She was stunned that he had spent time researching something for her.

“I have always found the properties of plants fascinating. We are taught some herb lore in the farming belt. But of course, this particular remedy has long since fallen out of memory, because there has been no use for it.”

“Of course, so where does it grow?” she asked excitedly.

“Along the coast. That is where we are heading now. I’m hoping to go and pick some and then make it to my house in the farming belt before nightfall.”

“A whistle-stop tour of Karal,” she said, watching the mountains looming up in front of them. They climbed higher and higher, the cruiser almost skimming the side of the mountain, giving her a close-up view of the world below. Grazing animals on the lower slopes ran as they passed overhead, and then they climbed to skim over the snow-capped peaks.

Her stomach flipped when they crested the highest peaks and then flew down the other side. In the distance now was the wide vastness of the ocean, sparkling and blue. It drew her eyes, like the brightest of jewels.

“Wow, is that where we are going?” she asked, pointing to the ocean.

“Along the edge to the south. The plant we are looking for only grows in a small area.” He guided the cruiser expertly, taking them down low over the sandy beach, the cruiser skimming the ocean and causing spray to fly up around them.

“This is fun,” she said, laughing.

“Yes. It is.”

“I didn’t think you were capable of anything remotely approaching fun,” she said, watching him smile.

“Neither did I.” He looked out of the window, looking down below them, and then they crested a small sand dune and he said, “There.”

Ishk landed on the beach. They both went down the exit ramp and stood looking at the beautiful ocean, before he moved off to where a frothy sea of white flowers covered the furthest side of the dune. Between them, they picked an armful of the white flowers, Ishk making sure they did not take too much, but he also took a seed head, which he put in his pocket.

“When we get to my house, we can plant the seeds.”

“And place it on my windowsill,” she murmured.

“Yes.” He nodded at her, his eyes deep pools of emotion.

Walking back to the cruiser, she asked, “Can we stay for a while? I have never paddled in the ocean.”

“We can always come back when we have more time.”

“Please, Ishk.” He agreed and like a child, she took off her shoes, holding her skirt up as she ran to the water’s edge and let the waves lap over her feet. “It’s so cold.”

Ishk went inside the cruiser and she thought he would wait for her there. Instead, he reappeared, his pants rolled up, his feet bare. Unable to resist, she kicked water up at him, splashing him.

Running to her, he grabbed her around the waist and spun her around, making her scream with joy. When he put her down, she turned in his arms, and wrapped her arms around his neck. Smiling, she then kissed him.

His hands tightened around her waist, pulling her close, his lips against hers, soft yet demanding. This new Ishk kissed her with such passion, and Evie glimpsed the root of his concern. Ishk had looked into the deep pool of emotions contained inside him. As a child he had lost his father and experienced it, and then years later watched the other Karalians as they dealt with their grief. He had witnessed how much effort it took for them to regain their control. What depths were contained in these seemingly emotionless males astonished her.

What passion they were capable of if they all learned to unleash their emotions was incredible. Kissing him, Evie pushed those fears away. He had chosen to take the plunge into the unknown by allowing human females to live freely on his planet; she could never tell him his emotions belonged back in their locked box. All she could do was be there for him.

“Ishk, take me to your home.” With one last look at the ocean, he led her back to the cruiser, her hand securely held in his, as if he never wanted to let her go. Or was it that he could feel he was on the brink of letting go of his outer shell, and needed the touch of her to be his constant as he transformed into something new?

Looking out of the window, she watched the world below her unfold, the ocean to their right, dunes to their left, until he turned back in land and they flew over great swathes of golden corn.

“I thought this would be harvested by now,” he said, and then in front of them she saw the great machines, each with a large solar pack on its roof. They were gathering the crop, eating it up through a big hole in the front of the machine, teeth coming out, huge pieces of metal to chomp and gnash at everything in its wake.

From there it was fed through the machine, and some kind of grain was funnelled out of the top, spraying out to fill a big container to its side.

“What is this?” she asked.

“They have begun the harvest. This is an area of Karal where
shumi
is grown. It is used for bread and pastries.”

“Shumi. Like wheat. I have never seen so much food been grown.”

“Welcome to the farming belt, Evie.”

She turned and grinned at him. “Will you give me a tour? I would love to see how you work the land.”

“Yes, but that is for tomorrow, right now I want to get home.”

They travelled on, the big fields of grain giving way to fringes of forests and wild flowers before they once more passed over fields filled with crops. This time they looked yellow, some kind of maize, then every shade of green she could imagine appeared before her in patchwork squares. The ground was covered in vegetables, workers going in amongst them.

“What are they doing?” she asked, pointing to a field dotted with Karalians.