Hunger of the Heart (Wolves of Ravenwillow Book 1) (36 page)

Tilting her head back, Rebecca closed her eyes against the feel of the warm rays of the afternoon sun and the soft caresses of the slight breeze that ruffled her hair. Sighing, she opened her eyes to look up at the towering trees around her. There was something about being outside calmed her mind, but it did nothing to take away the ache in her heart.

“Are you alright now?”

Turning she saw that Damon stood a distance away. Smiling faintly, she nodded at his question. When she’d collapsed in his arms, crying and wounded, she couldn’t have been more grateful that Damon had been there for her. But deep down she knew she couldn’t hide behind Damon when it came to Eric. She had to face him.

When Damon had gently brushed her tears away from her face, he begged her to tell him what happened. She hadn’t. When she refused to tell him, Damon had looked helplessly at her, needing to help her in any way possible. He asked her what he could do to help her. But all she wanted was to be away from everyone for a moment to get her thoughts together and with a gentle nod of his head, Damon had given her that. They now stood a stone toss distance from the lodge. No one would bother her here.

Except Eric…
she thought sourly.

She knew that soon or later she would have to talk to him. She found herself surprised that she actually
wanted
to talk to him. Even as painful as it was to replay in her mind; she wanted to know what had she truly seen back in his office.

With a slight sound of rustling clothes, Damon was at her back, watching and waiting. After a short silence between them, Damon finally spoke. “I can stay if you want me to.” he offered.

Shaking her head, Rebecca turned around to face him, her arms folding around herself. “No. I can face Eric on my own.”

“What did he do this time?” he asked, repeating his question from earlier once more.

“It's not important. I’ll deal with it.” she replied firmly before glancing away from him.

Shrugging his shoulders helplessly, Damon stabbed a hand through his blonde hair with a heavy sigh. Dropping his hand, he reached into the front pocket of his jeans with a grim look. “If you won’t tell me and you won’t let me stay to watch your back; take this at least.”

Glancing back at him, Rebecca saw that he held the keys he’d given her the night of the Gathering. Narrowing her eyes, she gave him a questioning look. “What are you doing?”

“Eric tossed these at me the night he brought you back to the lodge; the night of the Gathering. I’m giving them to you if you should need them. With everything that’s happened since the Gathering, Eric power over the members of this pack is strong but tilts on a razor’s edge of collapsing. Until you transition, you are vulnerable. I don’t want you to be trapped if you need to get to safety.” When she still looked at the keys like they were a spider that he was asking her to pet, he added. “Take them for my peace of mind at least. Please.”

Nodding, she accepted the keys into her open palm before shoving them into her pocket. When Damon nodded, pleased with her acceptance, he turned to leave her. Watching his retreating form, Rebecca felt her curiosity peak at Damon’s behavior. She’d never really paid attention to how protective he was of her. She knew it wasn’t because he
wanted
her in that way, but if not that; then why?

Calling out to him, she took a step after him. “Damon!”

When his steps halted, he turned to the side to look back at her with a perplexed look. “What is it?”

Coming to a stop in front of him, she hesitated to ask what was on her mind, but she felt she needed to know. “Why do you care so much about me?”

Appearing confused at her question, Damon reared back from her, his eyes narrowing slightly. “You’re my friend, I suppose.” He answer was slow coming, as though he was hesitant to lie to her. He was hiding something.

Rolling her eyes, she scoffed at his answer. “Do me a favor, Damon. Don’t lie from me. I am sick to death of people around here keeping things from me and then just expecting me to accept the truth when it finally comes out. Tell me. Why did you offer your protection to me when we first met? Why have you orchestrated everything to help me and protect me since then? Why is it that you are always there to shield me?”

A flash of pain flooded his eyes, before Damon looked away from her. Rubbing a large hand over his mouth, he sighed heavily. “Eric has been a friend for years to me off and on. We have our differences and our fights. Coming from two different wolf packs will do that I suppose. Anyhow; the moment I knew that you were hiding our secret and knowing you were meant to be Eric’s, I had to do what I could to keep you safe until he could. Eric deserves happiness, even if he’s too stubborn to reach for it himself.”

Rebecca shook her head at him. “I don’t understand how you could know that I was Eric’s true mate.”

Damon chuckled. “It wasn’t that hard to spot. Since meeting you; Eric lost all interest in other women. Plus the night we met, his wolf was so close to the surface that you could practically see it.”

“So that’s the reason for everything you’ve done?” she asked skeptically.

Like a light turning on, the look of sorrow was back in his eyes. What was it that pained him so much? Folding his arms over his chest, Damon regrettably shook his head at her. “No. It’s not the only reason.” He paused for a moment before continuing on as if his words pained him. “I lost my true mate years ago and you remind me of her.” smiling though the pain darkening his eyes, he seemed to recall a member of her. “She was fierce like you and beautiful and she was my world.”

Pain seized Rebecca’s chest. Reaching up to cover the aching deep inside her at his obvious pain, her gaze softened sympathetically. “What was her name?”

He smiled softly. “Talia. She was a human like you.”

“What happened to her?” deep down she feared she already knew the answer but she waited to hear it from his lips.

Drawing in a shaky breath, Damon turned from her, presenting her with his back. When she thought he’d simply storm off after she drudged up such painful memories, she was surprised when Damon began telling her. “Like Eric’s pack, my own pack is very traditional when it comes to humans. My pack lives deep in the woods, far from civilization. I was twenty at the time and despite the laws of my pack, I journeyed into the city. When I saw her; my world stopped.

She was a student at the local college. To make a long story short; I snuck away from my pack’s lands to meet with her. I kept my secret from her to protect her. But it wasn’t just a couple of months later that my pack members became suspicious of my frequent absences. Someone discovered what I had been doing, they discovered Talia.” A lone tear slid down his face. “A Gathering was called and I was brought before the pack. For disobedience; I was beaten, nearly every bone in my body was broken. Then; I saw her and in that moment; I truly knew fear.”

Covering her mouth with fear, Rebecca whispered as she lowered her hand. “What did they do to her?”

“The same thing that would have happened to you if Eric hadn’t stepped in like he did the other night. Talia was so scared and she looked so betrayed. She probably thought I didn’t want to fight for her. I tried to, but my Alpha was so furious at my actions to risk the lives of my pack members for a single human that he denied my right to bear the Act of Revealment. My best friend at the time stepped forward and dragged Talia deep into the woods to kill her. He came back with the smell of her blood on him.” turning back to look at Rebecca he sighed. “Now you know why I’ve remained close to you. I know what it is like to have your true mate and then have her ripped from you, to see the fear in her eyes at seeing the brutality of our world. I wanted to spare you and Eric that if I could.”

“But I thought that once you meet your true mate; that’s it. I’ve seen you look at other women before. You don’t look like a man morning his dead mate.”

“What you’ve seen is just me wishing for her. I’ve not touched a woman since that day nearly a decade ago. What you’ve seen is for show. It’s not something I want others to know about.”

“Why? Her death wasn’t your fault, Damon.”

His expression turned bitter. “I can see no other reason but me for her death. The only ones that know about Talia are you and my pack members. I carry a shame that wish I would forget sometimes and I’d like to keep it that way.” Pausing, he explained. “When a shifter loses his true mate after they’ve bonded, the will to live for the surviving shifter is no longer there. But when Talia was killed, I wanted to die so badly, if nothing else to just join her in the next life, but my wolf wouldn’t let me and still won’t to this day. Others think I should have died that day, but I didn’t.”

“Don’t worry; you won’t be for long.” The sound of Eric’s voice cut through the air around them like a whip.

* ~ * ~ *

Turning around, Rebecca found Eric striding toward them with tense, angry strides, his fists clenched tightly at his sides. His burning gaze settled squarely on Damon who still stood close to her.

“If you want me to stay, I will.” Damon whispered low enough that only she heard.

Not looking at him, she shook her head, keeping her eyes on Eric as he quickly made his way toward them. “No. Please go.”

With a grim nod, Damon tore off his shirt and pants; quickly shifting to his wolf form. Grabbing his discarded clothing with his teeth, he looped off in the opposite direction before disappearing from sight.

With a heavy sigh, Rebecca met Eric just as he closed the distance between them. His dark gaze glared over her shoulder toward the direction Damon had run. With a low growl in the back of his throat he took a step back to turn his hard gaze on her.

“I warned you not to put an obstacle between us, Rebecca.” His lips pressed into a thin line in anger.

Crossing her arms over her chest, she pursued her lips, her expression turning just a stubborn and irate as his. “Leave Damon out of this, Eric. If anyone is putting obstacles between us; it’s you.”

“Me?” he asked confused. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“I saw you, I saw you with Beth.” Pain filled her chest at the memory.

Eric’s anger quickly disappeared at her accusing tone. Moving closer to her, he gripped her arms, his eyes boring down into hers. “It's not what it looked like, Rebecca.”

“So she’s not back?” She hated that she sounded so cynical, but what else was she suppose to think? Beth was real competition when it came to Eric. What if Eric wanted his pure blooded she-wolf bride back? The though brought tears to her eyes.

With a hesitant look, Eric reluctantly nodded his head. “Yes. She is back. But not in the way you are thinking.”

“Then why didn’t you tell her that I was your mate? You told her I worked for you, Eric! Which by the way; is not only a lie, but hurtful. I thought this mating-thing meant more to you than that.”

“It does!” he exclaimed. “You are my mate. That’s all you need to know.” He stated with a shake of his head.

Crossing her arms over her chest, she sighed wearily. “You won’t even answer the question? Are you ashamed of me? Because you mated a
changeling
?”

“Where did you hear that?” he asked, his expression going stark cold.

She shrugged her shoulders dismissively. “Does it matter? It must be an easy choice for you if your pure blood bride is back.”

“
She
is not mine, Rebecca. You are. She wants to be a part of Emma and Travis’s lives. She wanted my help to rejoin the pack.”

Shaking her head, Rebecca swiped away an escaping tear that slid down her face. She was already losing him and he didn’t even care. “I heard you, Eric. I heard what you said to her.”

“What do you want me to say?” uncaringly he shoved his hands in his jean pockets. “What of it?” he bit out. “Beth is my past. I will always care about her, but changes nothing between me and you.”

It would have hurt less if he’d slapped her.

"Eric I am not some toy for you to play with and toss aside later on. If I am your mate, why wouldn’t you tell someone that? What is the point of me accepting this bond between us and accepting the changes in my life while you treat me like I'm some...some..." Her words trailed off in frustration as she furiously paced back and forth in front of him.

"Outsider?" he supplied coldly.

Jerking away from him as if he actually had slapped her, Rebecca’s face washed with the pain from his verbal blow. "Eric?" his name fell from her lips out of shock. “Why would you say that?”

"You’re human; or at least you were, Rebecca. Until you change you are an outsider in these matters. You couldn’t possibly understand what I’m going through or Beth for that matter. Because I chose you, my pack is now ripped in two. As Alpha of this pack I have to do what I have to. It’s time you accept that.”

Rebecca felt as if he had ripped open her chest and torn out her heart. What that all she was to him? A human, an outsider, and someone beneath him? Within her mind, she felt something shift. A cold tidal wave wash over her, helping to compose what was left of her pride. Reaching deep inside her, she could almost touch the second being that reached towards her pain, seeking to comfort her. She could feel her newly found wolf, pacing beneath her skin. She wasn’t human anymore; Eric had seen to that. Not yet a werewolf either; then what was she?