Hunter's Moon (24 page)

‘No!' I stammered. ‘That would never have happened …'

‘You ask me why I was afraid to tell you,' he went on. ‘After I recovered from the injuries from the fire, I left Noricia. I could not bear to be here – I had lost all the people I cared about – my friends, my family. I did not come back for some time. But when I did come back, I made sure to look for news of you, to make sure you were safe. Occasionally I did hear news – saw a photograph of you and your father and stepmother in the papers. I wondered what you'd do, if I came to see you. But I did not do it, because I knew those childhood days were over. We could not be friends. So seeing you again that night – especially after Verakina and the others had told me what had been done to your father, what had been done to you – it was more than I could bear. I had put my old life behind me, had hardened my heart against all the memories …

‘I had made a new life for myself. Two lives, if you like. I see, now, that in neither of those was I truly Rafiel. Each was only a role, a cipher, a shadow. A zealous policeman. A hooded protector. I'd told myself that one was redeeming the other. But when I saw you, I knew that everything was hollow. A sham. I'd lost myself, long ago. I knew that you'd see that, if I told you. And I knew it would break my heart – the little I had left.'

‘Oh, Rafiel,' I said, and took his hand once again. It was warm now. Almost as warm as mine. ‘Do not say such things … Do not. You have a greater heart than anyone in this world.'

‘And so you have!' said Verakina, vigorously. ‘Where would we be, if it weren't for you? Without the haven, I'd be dead – and so would Grim and Lisbet and Rasmus, Carlo, Mattias, Tofer and all the outcasts you have sheltered!'

‘And if there'd been no haven, I would have wandered in the forest till I died from hunger and exhaustion, or wild beasts killed me. Tell me, Rafiel,' I said, determined to know everything, ‘when I was in that glass box – before Verakina came – you came to that room. I saw your eyes – in the face of a black wolf. A … A black werewolf …'

Verakina burst out, ‘You think the Prince is a werewolf? Like me? Oh no. No, no. You are quite wrong. The Prince is no shapeshifter.'

‘You're going to have to stop calling me “the Prince”, Verakina,' said Rafiel, with a small smile.

She shrugged. ‘I am old enough to call you what I like, young man.'

‘There, that's better already,' said Rafiel, lightly.

I could feel the life rising in him now, stronger than ever, and rejoiced in it even as I wondered at the strangeness of what I'd learnt. But there was much more to learn, and I had to know it.

‘No, Bianca, not a werewolf,' continued Rafiel. ‘Vera-kina is right. I am no shapeshifter. Not in the usual meaning of the term. It's true I was there in that room and yet at the same time I was not – and that is why I could not help you myself, why I had to send Verakina. I wasn't the wolf – I had sent my spirit-wolf.'

I stared at him. ‘I don't understand.'

Verakina clicked her tongue. ‘Have you never heard, then, of the Northern shamans and how they can travel in the shape of spirit-beasts?'

I'd heard vague tales of such things but had never imagined them to be true. I remembered the look of that black wolf, how his fur had shimmered unnaturally, how he had somehow seemed to disappear from the hall, and could not help a little shiver.

Rafiel saw it and smiled a little sadly. ‘I can see why you might recoil. A werewolf is one thing to grasp, but a spirit-wolf – that is altogether different.' He paused. ‘You said before that my face had changed. You meant my eyes.'

‘Yes,' I said, swallowing.

‘The change of colour – it is a side effect of spirit-travel. Temporary, I had read. But it proved not to be.'

‘But who … How …' My mind was whirling, imagining Rafiel in the frozen Northern wastes, crouched at the feet of some ancient shaman with tangled hair and feather-and-claw necklaces around his neck.

‘The liquid that Verakina brought for me, that broke the spell,' I asked. ‘What was it?'

‘It was water from Nellia's Spring, up in the mountains near our old haven. And flowers of plants harvested at hunter's moon. And a few other things …'

‘But how did you learn to make it? How did you learn to create a spirit-wolf?'

‘I have learnt many things,' he said.

I looked at him and my heart pounded. He didn't seem to want to say any more, at this moment anyway. ‘I owe you my life,' I said. ‘More than once now.'

‘You owe me nothing. There is no debt between us,' he said, softly.

At that moment, we heard the rattle of keys in the door and the sound of voices. One was Drago's, the other one was another servant's.

‘Lie down and close your eyes,' I whispered to Rafiel, obeying an instinct I could not explain.

He shot me a glance but did as I asked. Grabbing the scarf from where it lay bunched on the ground, I placed it gently over his face. Verakina gave me a startled look, then nodded as I gestured for her to crouch by Rafiel, next to me. With my head in my hands, I keened softly, my heart racing.

The door opened with a clang. I heard heavy footsteps. Two sets. A voice – Drago's – said, ‘What the blazes is going on?'

We kept up our keening.

‘Stop that noise,' hissed Drago. In the next instant I was yanked up, painfully. He looked at my red, contorted face, then at Rafiel, lying as still as death, the scarf over his face.

‘What the devil …' Drago pulled the scarf off and looked at Rafiel's face. He put a finger to his neck to feel the pulse. I held my breath. He would know, now, that we were faking.

Drago straightened. He looked at me and said, ‘When did this happen?'

‘Only a few minutes ago,' I said, quavering.

‘Yes. He's still warm, so he can't have been dead long,' said Drago, tonelessly. I did not dare to say anything, or to look at Verakina.

Drago turned to the man who was with him, who was dressed in the uniform of the Duke's guard. ‘Go and get a stretcher from the stockroom. Now.'

‘But if he's dead, there's no need. We can just –'

‘Do as you are told. Or do you want me to tell his grace the Duke that you are less than willing to do your job?'

That's where we are, I thought. The Duke's palace.

‘No, of course not. My apologies, sir.' The man scuttled out and for a moment no-one moved.

Drago got up and half-closed the door. ‘You have precisely two minutes before he comes back,' he said. ‘How bad is he, really?'

‘Not dead,' said Rafiel, sitting up, ‘and not as injured as your mistress thought. You know how to blunt the blows.'

The two men's eyes met. ‘I don't know what you mean,' said Drago, as expressionless as ever. ‘Now, instead of jawing, get out. Take the steps leading down, not up. There's a grate. Beyond that, there are steps to the river. Your friends will be waiting there. Go. I'm going to pretend you knocked me out. Lock the door behind you. Throw the key in the river. That'll buy you a little extra time.'

I stared at him.

‘I'm not doing it for you, girl. You know that. Now go, before I change my mind!' he snapped.

We took him at his word. I helped Rafiel to his feet. He was a little unsteady at first, but it was remarkable how quickly he seemed to recover as we slipped out of the room, closed and locked the door behind us, and hurried away, down the steps and along a short passage. All the time, we were expecting to hear running footsteps or shouts of alarm. But no-one came after us.

We arrived at the grate Drago had told us of. We stopped. I could hear the lapping of water, below. We looked at each other. Had Drago lied? Was there an ambush waiting for us? Had Belladonna changed her mind about a trial and decided to just be rid of us straightaway? Was our escape to end in a watery death?

‘We have no choice but to trust him,' said Rafiel.

He was right: we could not go back.

It took a few seconds to shift the grate but then we were through, and entered into another passage that led to some steps, going down into darkness.

We started down the steps – carefully, for they were slippery. We were halfway down when we heard the soft clapping of oars against water, and in the next instant, a voice, whispering, ‘I'm just bringing it alongside.'

‘It's all right,' I told the others, relief surging through me as I recognised the voice of Olga's husband. ‘It's Andel. He's a friend.'

The rowboat drew up alongside us and Andel helped us get in. The water sparkled in the early-morning light.

‘Oh, Andel,' I said, ‘I am so very glad to see you.'

‘And I you,' said Andel. ‘When Dr Nord came post-haste to tell us that a stranger had informed him you were being kept prisoner, we knew at once that we had to act quickly. Sorry the boat's not exactly big, but it's the best I could do at such short notice.'

‘It is the best boat in the world,' I said warmly.

‘Here,' he said to Rafiel, when we were all settled, ‘put this over that uniform of yours.' He threw a coat at Rafiel. It was a heavy old tweed coat and rather shabby, but it was full length, and it covered the telltale black serge well.

‘Thank you for thinking of that,' said Rafiel.

‘Couldn't have you attracting more attention than we have to – those bruises on your face are bad enough,' Andel said, pulling away from the steps with sure strokes of the oar. ‘I'm taking you to the quay near the Wheat Sheaf Inn. Olga will meet us there. She's arranging travel for you.'

‘You're all taking a great risk for us strangers,' said Rafiel.

‘What is life if not a risk?' said Andel. ‘And strangers are only people who have not yet become friends.' He looked at Rafiel and Verakina. ‘It is good to meet you, friends. I am Andel.'

They introduced themselves and then, as he rowed, we told him briefly what had happened. Andel nodded, listening intently but also watching the currents of the river carefully.

The river had been diverted into this underground passage for quite a stretch under the Duke's palace. But eventually we reached the end of it, and emerged into a quiet section of water not far from the Swan Gardens, one of the most beautiful gardens in Lepmest. At this time, in the early morning, they were deserted, and the park looked enchanted.

As we passed the bend in the Swan Gardens and drew away swiftly eastwards, I remembered three things that I had been told, and suddenly they came together in my mind. Olga had told me they were looking for a sorcerer's apprentice. Dr Nord had mentioned that it was rumoured that the sorcerer had a wolf familiar. And Rafiel somehow knew how to cast spells and create magical potions …

I had to warn Rafiel. I did not care if he was the man they were hunting. I did not care to know why. All I cared about was that he was safe.

‘We'll need to halt here for a moment, Andel,' I said, hoping my voice didn't sound too shaky.

‘There's no time,' said Andel. ‘Every moment we delay means –'

‘It will be very quick,' I said. ‘Something I hid over there,' and I pointed in the direction of a bed of rushes. ‘It's very important.'

I could feel Verakina's and Rafiel's surprise, but hoped they might trust me enough to understand I must have a reason for this. Or even that they might believe I really had hidden something important. Whatever the case, they did not argue, so with some reluctance, Andel steered the boat in the direction I had pointed.

‘Three pairs of eyes are better than one,' I said to Verakina and Rafiel, as we drew closer to the rushes. ‘Will you help me look?'

‘Of course,' said Rafiel, calmly.

‘You'll have to hurry,' said Andel rather fretfully, as we got out of the boat and splashed towards the reeds.

I nodded. ‘No more than a minute or two, I promise.' And I headed in a determined way into the thickest part of the rushes, where I knew he wouldn't be able to see us from his boat. The others followed without a word, Rafiel still limping a little.

As soon as we were deep in the rushes, I crouched down, as if I were looking for something. Rafiel and Verakina followed suit.

‘What are you doing?' Rafiel whispered.

‘You have to know,' I said, and quickly explained.

It was Verakina who spoke first, when I had finished.

‘Bianca! You surely can't believe such a thing! Whoever these people are after, it surely cannot be –'

‘It is,' interrupted Rafiel. He had gone pale. ‘It must be me they are looking for. But they are wrong about this, at least: I was never the sorcerer's apprentice. I never knew he
was
a sorcerer. I knew him as Messir Durant, the great explorer and adventurer.'

‘But how?' I asked.

‘You remember that I told you that after I recovered from my injuries in the fire, I left Noricia? Well, I ended up in Palume, and got work in the household of Messir Durant. It was there I heard about his trips to the Northern lands. I heard about the shamans, and how they could travel in spirit in the form of a beast. Something in me came alive at the whole notion, and so I took to reading a good deal about it, borrowing books from the public library about the Northern lands and the custom of the Northerners. My own spirit was so heavy in me. I longed for peace, but even at night I could not escape terrible dreams. I thought that maybe if my spirit could break from its human shackles to roam free, then perhaps …' He paused, and in the expression in his eyes I read all the pain and loneliness he had suffered, and my heart was wrung with sorrow and love.

Timidly, I touched him on the arm. ‘You don't need to go on, Rafiel. I know that nothing you have done can have been wrong. I just wanted to warn you –'

‘Oh, but that is not true,' he said. ‘There is so much you do not know about me, Bianca. So much! You see,
I soon discovered I had the gift, like the shamans. It came naturally. I could send my spirit out as a ghostly wolf. And I found that in my wolf-shape I could track others. When I left Palume, I had already decided what I would do. I would become a hunter. I would hunt down those who did evil to others, like the arsonist who had burned down our house because he wanted the property and our landlord hadn't wanted to sell it to him.'

I gasped.

‘Yes, that was what had happened,' he continued. ‘That man was the first one I brought to justice, after I joined the Special Police. But not the last.' He gave a crooked smile. ‘So that's what I did. I used my spirit-wolf in the service of the Special Police. I thought that bringing the evil to justice would help to heal my torn heart.

‘But the day came when I discovered that one of the criminals I'd helped send to the gallows was innocent. And then I worried – had I made the same terrible mistake before? I could no longer trust that I would not be condemning the innocent. I knew it could not go on. I knew I must try to make amends for the harm I had done by helping the outcast, the hunted, the helpless. You see, I thought too that if I'd had such a place to go – a place like the havens – after I'd lost everything, things might have been so very different for me. And I knew that I had to cage the wolf, and never let it out again … That night I came to see you was the first time in more than two years that I … that I opened the cage.'

Verakina had been listening to this without comment, but now she said to me, ‘Then surely our friends will understand. All we have to do is explain.'

‘You haven't seen the old woman,' I said. ‘She helped me, but … but Rafiel – how can I trust her? I have been wrong when I have trusted so many times – with Belladonna, with Lucian … She is a feya, not human. There is no way that we can know what she'll do, if she'll even listen …'

I stopped as Rafiel straightened up. Holding his hand up in the air, clasped as though it held something, he called out, loud enough for Andel to hear, ‘I've found it, Bianca!'

‘No, Rafiel!' I whispered ferociously.

‘Yes. I must do this. The feya and her friends have tracked me this far. If I run, it would only be a matter of time before they found me again. I must face her sooner or later, and I choose not to hide anymore. I choose to face her now. But you – Bianca, Verakina – you must go. Please. We are far enough away now, from the Duke's palace for you to have a real chance of escape. Go. Run.'

‘The past is gone but the future might still be ours, if you let it be,' I cried fiercely, and, reaching up, I kissed him full on the lips.

His eyes widened but, putting an arm around me, he kissed me right back. It was likely the strangest kiss to ever have been, with the two of us standing soaked in the middle of the rushes, and an audience of an astonished – and slightly embarrassed – werewolf. But it was the sweetest thing, the most beautiful thing, I had ever known.

‘We will not be parted, ever again,' I said, rather breathlessly, as we emerged from our kiss. ‘Do you understand me, Rafiel?'

‘I do,' he said, smiling, ‘and it makes me glad. But –'

‘No buts,' I said, firmly. ‘As you won't run with us, I will go with you, and face whatever it is the feya Lady Grandmother might have in store.'

‘And I will come too, of course,' said Verakina, as we marched back to the boat.

Andel looked at us a little curiously as we got into the boat. ‘So you found what you were looking for?'

‘Yes,' I said. And, as Andel rowed out into deeper waters, steering the craft further east, I thought that I
had
found what I had been looking for: I had found Rafiel, and he had found me. And we would face the feya Lady Grandmother together.