Authors: Amanda E. Alvarez
That more than anything drove her forward.
He should roll her to her side, pull her against him, and coax her into sleep. He knew it. The feeling resonated within him, warring with the stark desire to roll the other direction and drape his body over hers.
The moment of indecision cost him. She tilted her head and reached for his mouth, pressing her lips to his. He knew her emotions were high and the situation wrong but he couldn’t control himself against the press of her lips and the swell of her breasts as they brushed against him as she slid closer.
He was sunk.
He rolled to meet her, working his lips over hers, coaxing soft sighs from her mouth as he fell into the pace she set. Fingers stroked along planes of muscle, kneading where they found knots, soothing away tension and enticing a languid desire to settle rich and heavy in every limb.
It took every ounce of his control to give instead of take. To follow instead of lead. He’d never submitted in such a way before, never responded solely to the demands and desires of another. He’d never felt such slowly coiling pleasure either.
The few seconds he took to pull away and secure a condom were torture. Every ounce of him cried out for her and quivered with the anticipated return. She rewarded him with a warm welcome that embraced him as he stroked the center of her.
They kept the pace slow and the movements long, their breath commingling in the scant space between them when they grew too distracted to maintain a kiss. It was intimate. Excruciating.
Powerful.
She clenched, hot and tight around him, pulling his release from the very depth of him. Like the rest of their lovemaking, it lasted an eternity and passed in a heartbeat, stamping his memory forever.
My God.
She lay sprawled across him, quiet and limp, her breath coming in quick bursts. He pulled the sheet they’d kicked off up to her shoulder and let one hand trail down to knead the rise of her butt.
He drifted to sleep beneath the blanket of her body, his heart swelling with something he didn’t want to name.
***
The gentle trail of fingers woke her. Up her spine, down her arm, around her hip.
Repeat.
The rhythm of it kept her floating between sleep and wakefulness. She just drifted. The fingers pulled her hair away from her shoulders so they could dance over a shoulder, skirt a collarbone and…dart back up toward her neck to gently stroke tiny marks, almost too faint to see, over and over again.
“I can’t believe I never noticed these,” Braden mumbled as his fingers traced the faded scars.
Reality descended with stunning speed, slamming her awake. “They faded quickly.” She jerked her shoulder away, pulled the sheet to her breasts and sat up. “They healed quickly, too.”
“They usually do—it’s the first place the change takes hold after the bite. Still, I’m shocked I didn’t notice them before. I noticed everything else about you.” He playfully ran his fingers down the exposed skin of her back.
“Don’t.” She scrambled from the bed, taking the sheet with her as protection. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” He asked, “Don’t touch you?” He sounded honestly mystified.
God, what a mess.
“Just don’t.”
“Beth.” He pulled himself out of bed. She kept it between them when he stepped toward her. He drew up short, his forehead creasing in confusion and his mouth drawing into a thin line. “What’s wrong?”
Hysteria-induced laughter tried to bubble out of her. What wasn’t wrong? The entire situation was a disaster.
“I should get dressed. It’s probably late.”
Too late. It’s definitely too late.
“Bull,” he said, his fists tightening at his side. “Try again.”
“I think you should leave.”
“And I think you should start talking. What’s going on? Things seemed better this morning.”
“That was a mistake. It won’t happen again.” She pulled the sheet tighter around herself as if that would convince him.
“Like hell.” He stalked around the bed, advancing on her. She matched every step he took until she hit the wall. He stopped dead. “Beth, I wouldn’t hurt you.”
You already have.
She’d be damned if she allowed it to happen again.
“Don’t do this, Beth.” He pinned her with a look he backed with so much emotion it hit her resolve like a sledgehammer. “You can trust me.”
“I don’t even know you.” She ignored the part of her that even now reacted to his presence, the part of her that had coaxed her into his embrace that morning.
“Yes, you do. I’m the guy you dodged a rainstorm with, shared a steak with. I’m the guy you had passionate sex with. I’m still that guy.” He softened his tone. “That hasn’t changed.”
How could he say such a thing? Everything had changed.
“That guy? The guy that came to my apartment to do God knows what? The guy that turned into a werewolf in my driveway? The guy that Tasered me and tossed me in the trunk of his car?
That guy
? Because him? Him I don’t know.” She advanced away from the wall, fury propelling her forward. “Him I don’t want to know.”
He sucked air as though she’d sucker punched him. “I didn’t Taser you! And that’s not fair.”
“Neither is this.” She gestured between them. “I get it. I’m stuck here until Markko’s dealt with. I don’t have a choice. But after that? After that I do have a choice.”
“So what? You’ll leave? Bury your head in the sand? Pretend a part of you doesn’t exist?”
She shrugged and turned away from him.
“Yeah,” he said. “That’s worked really well so far.”
She whirled on him, sheet clenched in her hands, eyes flashing. “I survived it before you. I’ll survive it without you.” The mere thought of it devastated her.
It’s only sex. You’ve done without before, you can again.
That much, at least, was true. She’d had her share of relationships in college, enjoyed the sex and taken pleasure in the easy companionship. Nothing too serious, no strings. But after Rachel…well, she hadn’t missed it. Hadn’t even thought about it.
Until Braden.
The memory of him, of them, drew a physical response from her so profound it seared straight through the core of her. She’d miss his kisses, deep and drugging. The way he ran his hands over her as though he couldn’t get enough. The way he possessively toyed with her hair. She’d miss the physical.
She’d learn to live without it.
“You don’t have to survive it. Not anymore. And not alone.” He reached for her, resting his palms on her shoulders, thumbs caressing her exposed collarbone. “There’s so much I can show you. So much you can learn. Let me help you accept this part of yourself.” He implored her with his eyes and stroking thumbs, his message clear.
Believe me. Trust me.
She jerked away from him, away from his touch. It was too potent, too tempting. Once was forgivable, twice would be unconscionable. Angry with her own weakness, she brushed past him to the bathroom.
“I don’t want to live with it. I don’t want to accept it. This isn’t normal—not for me.”
“Don’t punish yourself for what you couldn’t control. You’ve suffered enough.” He caught her wrist and pulled her back. “I’m not them. Neither are you.”
She felt trapped beneath the weight of his stare and the strength of his words.
She jerked her arm away. Incapable of fighting him and her own thoughts any longer, she backed into the bathroom and protected herself the only way she knew how. “But that’s what I see. Every time I look at you, I see them. And I see Rachel.” She choked on the tears and ignored his expression. “I see her sightless eyes and her torn throat. Every time.”
She slammed the door on his stunned expression, terrified he’d see the way the words agonized her. Terrified he’d reach for her again. She turned the shower to scalding and willed the noise to block out the sound of his body slumping against the door.
It was better this way. She was better alone. Even if it squeezed her heart and chilled her soul.
“Hey.” Lucy walked in with a plate of breakfast and a mug in her hands. She perched on the edge of the bed and helped herself to a croissant. “Hope you don’t mind.” She gestured with the pastry, a grin pulling up the corners of her mouth.
“Sure.” Beth peered into the mug Lucy left on the bedside table.
“Braden said you prefer tea, so I raided Mom’s stash. Hope Earl Grey is okay?”
“It’s great, thanks.” Beth took a long sip and let the warmth of the liquid sooth her throat. “Where’s Braden?” She’d been carefully avoiding him for the last forty-eight hours, leaving his room only when coaxed out for meals by a family member. They were nothing if not persistent.
“Oh, he left about an hour ago. Said he had to go into Portland for a few hours.” Lucy polished off the croissant and reached for some bacon. “He said he’d be back tonight. In the meantime—” Lucy’s eyes sparkled in delight. “—We’re taking a girl’s day.”
“A what?” Beth asked, snagging the remaining croissant.
“A girl’s day!” Lucy rolled her eyes. “Manicures, pedicures, the works! Shopping, too. And Mom’s going to meet us for a late lunch.”
“But why?”
“You’ve got to be going stir-crazy up here. You’ve barely left this room in the last couple of days.” Lucy jumped from the bed, brushing crumbs off her lap and onto the floor. “It’ll be fun. And you could really use some of your own things. Anyway, freshen up. Chase is playing escort this morning. He gets cranky if we keep him waiting too long.”
“We wouldn’t want the man with the Taser to get cranky.” Beth couldn’t help it. No matter how kind the Edwardses were, or how long ago it seemed, some things were harder to forgive.
“Don’t say that.” Lucy morphed from excited to upset in a heartbeat. “He’d never hurt you. Not now.”
Guilt-ridden, Beth tried to backpedal. “Sorry. I know,” she acknowledged, surprised to find it was true. “I’m never awake until I finish my first cup of tea.” She smiled weakly, hoping Lucy didn’t take it personally. She was obviously close to her family. Of all of them, Lucy had been the most welcoming—bringing Beth books, luring her out to watch TV, providing a steady buffer against the insanity that gripped Beth when she was left to her own devices too long. She didn’t want to upset her, intentionally or otherwise.
“Where are we going? Not into Portland?”
“No. And Braden swore I didn’t have to babysit. I don’t have to worry about you ditching me, right?”
“I promise. I’m not going anywhere.”
For now.
“Cool. Anyway, there’s not a lot out here, either. Small town,” she explained. “But there is this gorgeous hotel along the coast and it has a full service spa. It’s amazing! I can’t wait.” Lucy bounced out the door. “Downstairs? Twenty minutes?”
Twenty minutes later, Beth stepped off the bottom stair. Lucy stood with her brother by the door, speaking in a harsh whisper.
Well, she probably
thinks
she’s whispering.
“She’s still afraid of you, Chase! So be nice. I mean it.” Lucy had one slender finger pressed to the middle of his chest, and Chase, despite the fact that he had a good six inches on her, looked completely chastised.
“Ready?” He asked.
“Sure.” Beth skirted around him as he held the door for them.
***
Beth rolled her eyes and sighed as Lucy dragged her into another store. Her endless energy was exhausting. She’d kept up a running dialogue, most of it one-sided, throughout the day. Whether or not she noticed that Beth was largely silent, she didn’t seem to care. Either way, the day had been exactly what Beth needed.
“That would look great on you!” Lucy pulled a forest green cable-knit sweater from a rack and handed it to Beth. “You have to try it on.”
“Only if you try on that dress you keep eyeing,” Beth pointed at the sundress in the store window.
“Nah. I don’t really need it.” She flushed. “I wouldn’t have anywhere to wear it.”
Beth pulled her over to the display. “I don’t need a sweater, but you’ll make me try it on. What size?” Beth flipped through the hangers and pulled out the right one. “And I don’t believe for a moment you couldn’t find somewhere to wear it if you wanted to.” Beth gave her a knowing look as she handed over the dress. “You’ve chattered all day long about nearly everything. Except you…” Beth let her mouth curl into a knowing grin. “Anything you aren’t sharing?”
Lucy blushed and looked away. “Nah. Nothing important anyway.”
“Uh-huh.” Beth pulled another couple of dresses in the same size from surrounding racks. “A good dress could come in handy. You know, just in case.”
The smile Lucy answered with was so bright Beth didn’t mind the extra twenty minutes she’d just bought in the dressing room. “Let’s go try these on.” She glanced at her watch. “We’re supposed to meet your brother in a half hour.”
“Can I start you a room?” a store clerk asked, gesturing toward the fitting rooms.
“I think we’re ready.” Beth handed over the forest green sweater while Lucy juggled the dozen or so hangers she had slung over her arm.
“You’ve only got one thing,” Lucy protested. “We can look a little longer.”
“Nah, we’re running low on time and, this way, I can give you a second opinion if you need it.” They followed the clerk into fitting rooms next to each other.
“Let me know if I can get you another size.” The woman drew the curtain shut before she left.
Beth pulled the shirt she was wearing over head and tugged the sweater on. Lucy was right, it suited her. Beth sighed, turning right and left in the mirror. She liked it, but she couldn’t get it. She didn’t have her purse with her, no money, no credit cards. Nothing. She wasn’t even really sure where her purse was.
Probably still scattered across my living room floor.
It was hard to believe Markko had attacked her just two days ago. So much had happened since then. It felt like weeks had passed. Part of her worried she was taking the situation too calmly, allowing herself to fall into the illusion of security that Braden’s family provided.
And when that’s gone? What then?
“Hey, can you take a look?” Lucy’s voice cut through her thoughts.
“Sure. Come on out.”
Beth pulled the curtain of her fitting room open. Lucy stepped out wearing a strapless white dress, cut close through her middle and flaring in the skirt.
“What do you think?” She asked as she did a graceful twirl.
“Very pretty.” Beth considered Lucy carefully. She seemed so young, though less than three years separated them. She didn’t seem to carry the same sort of weariness that dogged Beth after the full moon. Why didn’t the shift wear on her the same way?
“But?”
“It depends on what you’re after. It’s pretty, but it’s very…sweet.” Beth got the impression that wasn’t what Lucy wanted.
“It might help if you told me a little more about who it is you’re trying to impress.”
Lucy scowled and stalked back into the dressing room. “It doesn’t matter. He wouldn’t notice if I walked into a room stark naked.”
“I doubt that. You know, sometimes guys are a little thick. They only see one thing until something else steps in front of them. Try the black one.”
“You think?”
“Go ahead, I’ll wait.” Beth heard the rustle of hangers as Lucy pulled the one she suggested out of the pile.
“Oh.” Lucy sounded a little breathless and Beth knew what she’d see even before she pulled back the curtain.
“Much better,” Beth said. Lucy twirled again, wearing a fitted black number, high on the leg and completely backless. “You look great.”
Lucy cocked a hip and stared into the full-length mirror. “I look so…different.”
“You wear it well.” Beth met her gaze in the mirror and smiled. “You should definitely think about getting it.”
“The sweater looks good on you, too.” Lucy smiled wickedly in the mirror. “I bet Braden would like it.”
Beth pulled the curtain shut on her laughter. “Try on the others.” She stepped back into her own dressing room and pulled the sweater off.
“You aren’t going to be mad at him forever, are you?” Lucy sounded genuinely concerned by the idea. “I think he loves you.”
Probably not.
“It’s complicated.” The truth was that most of her anger was gone. But anger was simple. It consumed while it was hot and provided a sort of distracted focus for all the emotions she didn’t know what to do with. The confusion left in its absence was harder. And more frightening.
“I hope you guys work things out.” Lucy’s voice was muffled as she pulled something over her head. “This has been fun. I know it’s selfish, but I’ve always wanted a girl in the family I could talk to, about…well, about
everything
. You know?”
Beth understood exactly which everything Lucy was referring to.
“That’s okay, isn’t it? If I consider you a friend? I know we haven’t spent a lot of time together yet.”
Beth twisted the sweater in her hands. The answer rose to Beth’s mind more easily than it should have. It was harder to force it out of her mouth. “Yeah.” She cleared her throat, dislodging the tightness in her chest. “Yeah, that’s alright.” She realized it was. Lucy was an amazing, generous, funny woman. And the understanding that stood between them was mutual. It was something Beth had never hoped to have again.
“Great!” Lucy said, as though nothing awkward had passed between them and resumed her ceaseless chatter.
Beth picked her shirt up off the floor and pulled it over her head. The curtain rustled behind her. A calloused hand closed over her mouth and a firm arm pulled her against an unyielding body. Shocked, she went absolutely still. She didn’t need to glance into the mirror or hear the rough voice to know who held her. Her entire body fired with recognition.
Markko.
“Hello, Lizzy.” The words rasped against her ear. “So
good
to see you again.” Malicious eyes found hers in the mirror. The point of a knife pressed against her rib cage, spearing the thin material of her shirt and nicking her skin.
“Beth?” Lucy called out. “Everything okay?”
Beth’s eyes dilated in fear.
She can’t come in here. He’ll kill her.
“Tell her you’re fine,” Markko whispered against her ear.
“I…I’m fine.” Her voice wavered as his knife dug deeper between her ribs. “I’m just trying on this sweater again. I’m listening.”
Beth eased out a ragged breath when Lucy’s one-sided dialogue resumed to the backdrop of hangers clanking together.
“How sweet.” Markko rubbed his unshaved cheek against her face, the texture pulling across her skin like sandpaper. “A new sister? Already?” He nuzzled the back of her ear, tongue winding a wet path down her throat. “I can smell the change on you.” He bit down on the juncture between her neck and shoulder hard enough to draw blood and wring a cry he swallowed with his hand. “I can taste it on you, too.”
Beth tried to pull away, to stomp on his foot, anything to get away from his rasping breath and wandering tongue. He had her pulled too tightly against him; every time she moved, he pressed the tip of his blade further into her skin. A warm trickle of blood began to snake down her side and slip into her jeans.
“Play nice. Or I’ll have to hurt your friend.” He stared her down in the mirror. “I could. It would be nothing to snap her neck.” He watched her reaction, his smile widening. “But I won’t. Too easy. Unworthy of the history between us.” His fingers clenched over her mouth, nails digging crescent moons into the side of her cheek. “I’m going to move my hand. If you scream, she’s dead.”
He peeled his fingers from her mouth. Beth considered shouting a warning, telling Lucy to run.
I can’t risk it.
She didn’t know Lucy well enough to predict her actions, but she knew without question Markko would kill her.
Keep his focus here.
“Good.” He kept his voice low and pulled his forearm across her collarbone.
“Hey Beth, I’m done, you ready?” Beth heard Lucy step into the hall. The only thing that separated her from death was a thin curtain and Beth’s ability to keep a cool head.
“I’m trying to make a decision. I’ll be out in a minute.” Beth swallowed around the fear that tried to choke her. “I’ll meet you up front, okay?”
“Okay. I’ll meet you by the register.”
When she was certain Lucy had left, Beth glared at Markko’s reflection. “What do you want?”
“To finish what we started.” He pulled the knife up to the soft flesh below her ear, laying the blade across her neck.
“It was finished when I walked out of that forest.” Beth flinched under his wandering hand. Idle fingers slipped beneath her shirt and across her skin.
“It would have been.” His eyes flashed. “But you beat my brother’s head in with a rock. Left him to die.”
“He murdered my sister.” Beth flinched when his fingers slid over a nipple and twisted.
“And because of you my brother’s dead. He lived through that night, through the damage you inflicted.” His pressed the knife viciously against her throat, widening the cut. “But his mind never recovered. He was little more than a whimpering beast.”
His hand slid to the top of her jeans, fingers toying with the waistband. When they dipped beneath it, Beth jerked away. “I snapped his neck and swore the last thing you would see before you died was my face.
“It took a long time to find you.” His smile twisted and his eyes flashed with the fury of hell. “But I can be patient when the reward is so great. You’ll come to see that, won’t you, Lizzy?” His palm went flat against her stomach and he shoved his searching fingers down the front of her jeans.
Beth yanked at the arm holding the knife at her throat and tried to shimmy away from him. He pulled his hand up and pinched the flesh at her hip.
“Perhaps I’ll bring your little friend, too.”
Anger flared through her. She tightened her jaw and tried again to pull away from him.
“Still protective, I see. Good.” He pulled the knife away from her throat, retracted the blade and shoved it into his back pocket. “I’ve waited so long to find you, Lizzy. It nearly drove me mad. To find you with the Edwards clan…I can’t tell you how it disappointed me.”