Hunting Truth (27 page)

On screen, h
e walked back to the bed. His walk was slow, stiff
even, as if he was reluctant. This impression was reinforced when
he hesitated, flogger mid-air, for a long moment until Ava’s head
lifted and she appeared to shout something. Instantly, Lucas’
lifted his chin and brought down the flogger onto Ava’s lower
stomach where the wax had spilled. It was difficult to tell, but I
didn’t think it had much effect. I’d expected to see chunks of hard
wax fly into the air but there was nothing. Fleetingly, I recalled
how, just a few hours ago, I was the one lying with cooled wax on
my skin and I found myself wondering how it would feel to have it
removed with a flogger . . . I started when my pussy clenched
hungrily and there was no denying that I’d love to find
out.

I looked to Ava’s face and almost recoiled
when I saw how it was twisted into a withering, scornful
expression. Whatever she’d said to him, I knew it was unpleasant
from the taunting, scathing look that accompanied her words. My
eyes flicked across the screen to Lucas. Gone completely was his
earlier cocky demeanor and smug expression. He looked thoroughly
berated and defeated.

My heart s
welled with compassion as I realized that I was
witnessing part of what had caused the end of their relationship.
Ava wanted—no needed—him to cause her considerable pain—that was
obvious both from her desire to have her pussy caned (surely only
something that a serious masochist would demand) and from the way
Lucas clearly wasn’t able to acquiesce, despite the serious
taunting that he looked to be receiving.

It was blatant to me, as a
bystander
—albeit a
belated one—that they weren’t sexually compatible. How could they
be if Ava truly needed to feel pain as well as pleasure and Lucas
was unable, or unwilling, to deliver? Yet I knew that Lucas liked
to inflict some pain . . . for example, hot candle wax was hardly
painless—especially when dripped upon a lady’s most sensitive
parts—and neither was a flogger. And don’t even mention nipple
clamps . . . especially when they’re removed! I almost flinched at
the memory.

I didn
’t understand it. He was the one who had instigated the
pain element of our love making, so he must prefer it that way, yet
he’d been unable to increase the severity of the pain, or possibly
the way it was delivered, despite it being needed by his partner so
much that it led to their eventual breakup. I recalled him saying
he’d tried to give his subs what they’d wanted but that he
couldn’t. I wondered what he’d done and why he had gone
wrong.

My eyes flicked back to the
monitor.
Lucas must have
uncuffed Ava because she was kneeling in front of him, her arms
wrapped around his legs. Her back was to the camera and she
appeared, from her jerky movements, to be sobbing
animatedly.

“What happened?” I whispered quietly, unable
to tear my eyes from the monitor.

I heard him draw in a deep breath and when
he spoke, his voice was tight. “I’d suggested we end the
relationship.”

“
Why?” I asked, although I had a good
idea.

“
It wasn’t working. I couldn’t give her
what she needed,” he replied, a note of sadness in his
voice.

Since he
’d alluded to it, I thought it would be safe to
pursue the issue. “Which was?” I whispered as I watched him
stroking Ava’s hair.

I thought that he hadn’t heard me, or was
choosing to ignore my question but he eventually replied, “I think
you know, Issy,” in a voice that was laced with sarcasm.

Damn!
If I wanted answers, I knew I was going to have to
confront the issue head on. Subtlety was clearly not going to get
me anywhere. “But I don’t understand. She desperately wanted it
from you so it would definitely be consensual. Besides, she looks
very feisty and spirited so she’d need a firm Dom to keep her in
check. I’m no expert but doesn’t she have to respect her Dom in
order to submit?”

“Watch the video,” he said, simply.

As if on cue, I watched as Lucas cupped
Ava
’s face in his large
hands and said something to her. I saw her nod and then, after he
appeared to wipe her tears away, she sank back on her heels,
lowered her head and remained motionless for about half a minute.
Lucas barely moved in that time but I noticed he had regained his
masterful demeanor. No longer did he look defeated or broken—he
didn’t look cocky or smug but simply appeared dominant with his
compliant sub at his feet.
Is that what he wants to me see? That he didn’t
have to hurt her to take control and enable her to
submit?

Meanwhile
, on screen, Lucas inclined his head slightly and
Ava shot forward, taking his increasingly aroused cock into her
dainty hands. Lucas stepped back and said something to her. She
instantly put her hands behind her back, interlocking her fingers
before leaning in again and taking his now fully erect cock into
her mouth. Her head bobbed up and down as his face remained
expressionless until he reached out, grasped her hair and began to
thrust slowly.
My God! That looks hot! He’s totally fucking her mouth . .
. I mean totally . . .

Even on camera you could tell that his
cock was sliding all the way into her mouth and throat.
My eyes were wide and my throat
dry as I watched him speed up the rate of his thrusts. Only then
did he show any sign of how the act was affecting him. His chin
tilted up and his lips curled back. It looked like he was gritting
his teeth and his expression was that of angry ecstasy. Don’t ask
me how that worked but I knew Lucas was fully in charge and was
taking what he wanted from Ava, exactly how he wanted
it.

“
Okay, point made.
You didn’t have to inflict pain to get her
to submit to you. But does that mean she respects you? Or was she
just trying to please you in order for you not to end the
relationship?”

As I asked, I saw him suddenly pull
Ava
’s head away and hold
it at arms’ length. I got the impression that she wasn’t pleased
with that because he shook his head as if he were deliberately
denying her and he seemed to have to hold her head tightly, perhaps
preventing her from lunging forward to finish what she’d started.
Again, I didn’t understand.

“
Why did you do that? Surely you were only
spiting yourself—you were enjoying it so why not let her continue
until you came?”

I heard him chuckle.
“Oh Issy. Questions, questions,
questions.”

I turned to face him and frowned heavily.
“Oh Lucas. Answers, answers, answers . . . if you
please.”

He shook his head but his
blue eyes were twinkling. “That
was how I preferred to establish and reinforce my dominance. I
didn’t need to lift my hand in order to correct a sub. She was
attempting to top from the bottom—take control, in other words. I
took it back. Simple.”

I could understand that but my earlier
questions still irked me.
“But how much of that was you reasserting control and how
much of it was Ava playing along, desperately trying to keep your
relationship going? Wouldn’t it have been better to raise your hand
. . . if that’s what she needed?”

He closed his eyes and sighed.
When he reopened them, they
locked on to mine. I saw honesty and respect in them. “Trust you to
see straight to the bare bones of the issue. Yes, that’s exactly
why I called time on our relationship because I finally figured out
that’s exactly what she was doing. I genuinely believe that she
didn’t consciously know it either. But once I raised it, I think
she realized it too, although she still didn’t want us to break up.
But, like I’ve said before, I just couldn’t give her what she
needed.”

He sounded a little flat.
I wondered whether he
considered it a failure—it sure sounded like it. I knew he didn’t
like to fail at anything, so again, I wondered why he’d seemingly
given up so easily. When I’d tried talking to him about it before,
he’d clammed up and I’d let it go. Seeing as he was being so open
and honest, I decided to push for an answer.

“
Why couldn
’t you?” I whispered. As soon as I’d asked, I
regretted it. His expression hardened and, although he didn’t move,
it felt like he’d distanced himself from me. Don’t ask me how but
it was like an invisible barrier had sprung up between
us.

“
Because I didn
’t want to hurt her . . . and yes, before you say
it, I know that she wanted me to . . . and I did try, before you
say anything. I tried, against my better judgment, to get over it
using a cane, and . . . well, let’s just say it didn’t end
well.”

“
With Ava?” I blurted. I don’t know why I
needed to know . . . I just did.

His eyes were stony cold under his
frown.
“Yes. Okay? It
was with Ava. Now are we done or do you have any more
questions?”

I narrowed my eyes at h
is sarcastic tone then raised my chin
defiantly and attempted a completely benign expression. I couldn’t
resist asking a final question, out of annoyance as well as
curiosity. Besides, I told myself haughtily, if he’d invited
further questions, he could hardly refuse to answer it. “Yes, thank
you. When you tried caning, what happened for it not to end
well?”

I saw his jaw muscles tense instantly.
“Are you stupid? Why don
’t you get that I don’t want to talk about it?” he snapped
viciously, pinning me with eyes as hard as granite.

My insides shrank at his venomous outburst
but outwardly I glared back and spoke through gritted teeth.
“You asked if I had any more
questions so I asked one. But more importantly, Lucas, the whole
thing is fucked up. No—you’re fucked up. There’s more to this than
you’re letting on, I just know it.”

His lip curled, like a dog about to
attack
, and I swallowed
hard, wondering whether I’d finally gone too far. “I’m fucked up?
I’m no shrink, Issy, but I doubt that anyone would say that a man
who didn’t want to physically abuse . . . and maybe as a result,
mentally abuse women was fucked up. And don’t give me that bullshit
about it being okay because it’s consensual.”

He advanced towards me as he continued,
looking more like a deranged rabid animal by the second and I found
myself backing away until I met resistance. My back was against the
wall and still he kept advancing until his face was
millimete
rs from mine,
his voice getting louder and angrier by the second.

“
There is no excuse for hurting and maiming
women.
Those who do are
nothing more than animals and they deserve a bullet to the head.
Most Doms are glorified abusers, assaulting women under the
pretense that it’s consensual.”

I was barely aware of the cool wall at my
back or his hot
whisky-scented breath on my face. My attention was focused
on his words, which were almost shouted, despite his proximity to
my face and his menacing expression. His eyes were black and hard,
his soft lips twisted almost beyond recognition into a cruel frame
for his venomous mouth. He spoke mostly through gritted teeth, his
jaw muscles taut, making him look unhinged. He truly looked like a
man on the edge.

At that thought, a memory jangled in the
back of my mind.
I tried
desperately to access it but his continued ranting made it
difficult. It was only when I heard him asking me whether I thought
that he was some sort of monster that I grasped it. I’d called
Lucas a monster after Joel had paid me a visit, warning me of
Lucas’ inability to keep his temper and telling me of Lucas’
violent past—and how he killed his mother.
Am I about to see him lose it? Am I
in danger? Is that why my brain has triggered that
memory?

I could hardly think straight with Lucas
shouting in my face but I knew Joel
’s words were part of his sick and twisted agenda.
He’d carefully crafted his warning message using half-truths, and I
believed Lucas’ version of events without question. Besides, I
didn’t feel threatened by Lucas. I didn’t feel that I was in
danger. Sure, I felt uncomfortable—who wouldn’t with someone going
off on one over nothing?
But it isn’t nothing to Lucas! And what the hell
has that got to do with Joel?

Something dragged me back from my
musings.
I realized that
Lucas was no longer shouting. What I didn’t realize at first,
because his face was too close for me to focus on it properly, was
that he had tears running down his face. And then I knew, don’t ask
me how, I just did. I wrapped my arms around him but didn’t say a
word. Once he’d stopped sobbing, I insisted that we left the club
in Carter’s capable hands and went back to the Orion
Building.

The next morning, I was awoken before
7
a.m. by yet another
call from a very anxious Angel, demanding to know whether Scott had
been found. Apparently Chad was beside himself with worry because
of the impending tour, and kept asking how they could go on tour
without a drummer. As I told her I had no news to report, I
mentally gave him the benefit of the doubt, by assuming that he was
also worried about his good friend and roommate’s wellbeing. Then
Angel wanted to know whether Lucas was still meeting with the guy
from the record company that afternoon.
Crap! That’s today?
I promised, yet again, that I’d
call her the moment I knew anything.