Hyena Moon (26 page)

He crashed into her, knocking her into the built-in bookshelf along the wall. Her body slammed into it, knocking down books and curios, the side of her head smacking into one of the shelves. She lost her footing and crashed to the floor, dazed for a precious few seconds. He stepped over and sniffed. Still no fear. He growled to get her attention.

She stared into his eyes, green gold meeting his hyena black. He was close enough to rip out her throat, to tear her to pieces. Looking at her now, he realized how young she was, maybe a few years older than him, no more than that. He snapped his jaws in her face, expecting her to flinch. She didn’t.

“Why are you so angry, Rafe?” she asked in a quiet voice.

He wasn't prepared for that question. He made a high noise in the back of his throat, almost a whine. He kept his eyes on hers, and they weren’t angry, weren’t accusing. Kess just watched him, not afraid of him or what he was, not blaming him for what he’d done. Just asking him a simple question.

“Is it your mother?” He snarled at her then. Just thinking about his mother made his insides twist. “Your sister?” Another snap of his jaws at the thought of Teresa. “Me?”

He sat then and shook his head. No, he wasn’t mad at Kess. That wasn’t the problem. He triggered the transformation back to human and crouched in front of her, black hair hanging in his face. In a voice rough with emotion, he said, “It's my fault. All of it. It's me.”

Because it was his fault. He hated himself. Because when he’d run back to his mother, he’d sold out the little bit of acceptance he’d gained here. And it had been for nothing. He realized now that his mother was never going to love him, not like he wanted her to. She was interested in him now because he was a useful tool, but as soon as his usefulness ended, he'd go back to being nothing. She’d given him up to his death, but he hadn’t died. Kess had offered him a place to stay, but it was more than that. She’d given him a chance to be something other than the weak baby brother, the loser son. And she'd brought Lenore into his life, something he would never have expected.

He wrapped his arms around his chest, trying to hold in the wracking sobs that shuddered through him. He’d pissed away the chance he’d had here, with the one person who had never judged him and never asked for anything from him. Kess was the last person he had expected kindness from—his mother was actively trying to kill off her and her clan to take their territory—and yet, he'd gotten more patience and understanding from her than he’d ever gotten from his own family. And he’d repaid it by betraying her, by betraying all of them. It didn't matter that it was inadvertent.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, tears dripping off his face to splash on the floor. “I’m so, so sorry.”

He felt her arms around his shoulders as she drew him in. He resisted, not wanting her comfort, not deserving it. She pulled him to her, strong like a tide, her arms cradling him against her. She brushed his hair away from his face as he cried against her neck. She made soft noises as she held him, trying to soothe him.

“I got everything I thought I wanted, but it didn’t mean anything,” he stammered out, needing her to understand. “It just felt wrong.”

“It’s okay,” she whispered, carding her fingers through his hair. “It’s going to be fine.”

“How can you say that?” he asked, a sob breaking through like a hiccup. “And how can you forgive me like this? You know what I did!”

Kess drew back, so he could see her face. She brushed his hair out of his eyes one last time, and then took a deep breath. “Because I’ve done things that I’m not proud of too—things that I need forgiveness for.”

Rafe drew in a shaking breath, trying to stifle the tremors that shook him. “What could you have done that was so bad?”

“I ran,” she said simply. “I ran away and because I ran, my brother murdered my father.” She stared off into some place only she could see. “I could have stayed here and faced my brother. I could have warned my dad more than I did. But because I didn’t, my father’s dead.” Her eyes found his again and she gave him a very faint smile. “So don’t think you have the corner of the market on needing forgiveness.” She paused. "And don't take the blame for Lenore on yourself. That's your mother and sister's doing, not yours."

She pulled him back into her embrace and let him wear himself out. Rafe knew he hadn’t cried like this in years. He hadn’t cried this hard when his mother had scarred him, or any of the other times his sister had beaten him because she could. The last time he really remembered letting the waterworks flow was when he was six, after his dad had walked out on them. He’d cried himself to sleep for three nights until Teresa had found out and made fun of him for being a little wuss.

Kess held onto him through the shudders that felt like his body was going to rip itself apart, speaking soft words. When Rafe quieted, he lay stunned against her, feeling wrung out like an old rag. He realized he was shivering in the coldly air conditioned room. Kess kept her arms around him tightly and spoke.

“I don’t know if I have the right to say this, but I’m proud of you, Rafe. It couldn’t have been easy to walk back in here knowing the reception you were likely to get. That took guts.”

“I didn’t have a choice. It’s my fault she’s in this mess. I just want her safe.” More than anything else, he wanted Lenore back where she belonged. He'd give up everything to make that right.

Kess looked thoughtful. “We always have choices, even if they’re just between bad and less bad. Your choice was to come here.” The
to us
was unspoken, but Rafe heard it anyway. She let him go and he pulled himself together. “What are you going to do now?”

“I’d like to get some clothes. It’s kind of cold in here.” When Kess grinned, he ducked his head. She didn’t seem at all bothered by his nudity, but he was acutely aware of her body next to his—he was a sixteen year old boy after all—and hers was a very nice body.

Kess stood up, drawing him up with her. “Go get a shower. Bathroom’s through there,” she said, pointing at a bedroom. “I’ll go bring you some fresh clothes since these are shredded. And if you’re serious about helping us with Lenore, then we’ll talk.” She gave him a push in the right direction, and then left him alone in the guest house.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Kess made it out of the guest house and over to the main house before the shakes hit. She had to sit out on one of the poolside chairs until they subsided. She’d deliberately pushed Rafe, trying to hit each and every one of his buttons to force him to deal with what he’d done. She'd been angry, yes, but she'd also been surprised when he'd shown up. She still wasn't sure how much she trusted him, but she was willing to risk a bit more if it brought Lenore back safe. There was one thing she believed Rafe about, and that was his feelings for Lenore.

She’d had a feeling he’d go ahead and turn into a hyena, especially with some of the hurtful things she was throwing in his face, but had hoped he wouldn’t hurt her. Had counted on it, actually. She’d had no plan to shift and no urge to fight him. As stupid and reckless as it sounded, she’d trusted his better nature to save her ass and not kill her.

She put her head on her knees, breathing deeply. For a minute there, Rafe had really looked like he might eviscerate her. But she had read him right. He was a ball of anger and self loathing. Tonight was a good start, but she had a feeling that this was only a lancing; he still had a lot of work left to do to be fully healed. Still, it was damn nerve wracking. It was worth it though if it helped them get Lenore back.

Her head ached from where she’d connected with the bookcase. Her whole body hurt. She was healing quickly, but Teresa had been an efficient little bitch with that bat. Her ribs were sore and now she had a matching goose egg on the other side of her head to match the one Teresa had given her in the street.

She sat up after a few minutes, feeling a cool breeze off the water. Someone slid open the door to the deck and came and sat beside her. It was Finn. He was one of the few of them that still spoke to her. “Laila’s already on her way.”

Kess nodded, grateful. She may dislike the werejackal with a vengeance, but she’d be excellent in a fight and Finn liked her. That made her marginally tolerable. “Thanks.”

“You okay?”

She nodded, beginning to feel somewhat normal. She wasn’t ready to go back inside though. “Can you do me a favor? Rafe needs something else to wear—can you go grab him some new clothes from his room and bring them here?”

Finn looked at her dubiously. “Why does he need new clothes?” As if he didn’t already know what that meant.

Kess shot him a side-eye. “Because he decided the color really didn’t do his eyes justice and he set them on fire using only the power of his mind. DUH. He changed while I was talking to him. Yelling at him, actually.” At his horrified look, she smiled ruefully. “It’s cool. He didn’t hurt me. Please do NOT say anything to your cousin. We need Rafe to get Lenore back.”

Finn gave her shoulder a squeeze, although the look on his face pretty much told her he didn't think they needed Rafe to do anything but drop dead immediately. He returned a few minutes later with a pile of clean clothes and dropped them on the chair beside her. “Mebis is here.”

“I’ll be in in a minute.” She gathered up the clothes and headed back to the guest house.

She heard the shower running when she let herself inside. Kess placed the clothes on the bed and knocked on the bathroom door loudly. She stuck her head in and told Rafe, “Clothes are on the bed. Come to the main house when you’re ready.” He poked his head out from behind the shower curtain, black hair plastered to his skull. He nodded and she left him.

Kess continued on her way back to the house. They had a lot to do before dawn arrived, a lot of decisions left to make. She ran into Mebis as soon as she walked in. The werejackal was dapper in his linen trousers and white shirt, looking as fresh now as if it were first thing in the morning rather than the middle of the night.

"Kess," he greeted, inclining his head.

"Mebis. I'm glad you could make it."

"You said it was urgent on the phone." There was just the faintest hint of laughter in his voice.

"Samara." At his knowing look, she said, "She's got Cormac's sister, Lenore. I'll fill you in with the others."

He sniffed delicately. "Am I to assume that the werehyena is back in your midst? Are you sure that's wise?"

Kess didn't bother to ask how Mebis knew about Rafe leaving; the man had ways of gathering intel that verged on magical. "No, I'm not sure that's wise." She remembered their conversation in the coffee shop. "And I'm not fooling myself into thinking that Rafe is on the up and up. But if he has information on Lenore and where she's being held, I need to hear him out." She didn't think it prudent to bring up the breakdown she'd been witness to in the guest house.

"Lovely. This should be entertaining." His voice was mild, as if he did this every day. Although for all she knew, he just might.

"We'll try not to bore you," Kess replied drily.

He got very close to her, invading her space. "Oh, you could never bore me. I find you lot fascinating."

Kess wasn't sure if she was entirely comfortable with a werejackal finding her and her friends fascinating. "Um...yay?"

Mebis offered her his arm and led her down the hall to her office. "Now, tell me about the havoc you'd like me and my sister to unleash."

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Rafe slouched in the corner of one of the leather couches, watching the other people in the room shift and flow around him. Finn had Cormac cornered at the opposite side of the room, talking to him in low and urgent voice. Emmeline and Alaric, Lenore's parents, were on the same side of the room, heads together, hands clasped for comfort. It made Rafe feel worse than he thought possible.

Kess was speaking to the werejackal and Masud. Outside of Kess and the occasional glimpse of Bomami, Masud was the only other wereleopard Rafe was familiar with. They stood in a cluster by Kess' desk, their voices unintelligible when mixed with the other sounds in the room. He didn't spend too long looking at them; Mebis kept looking over at him and the assassin made him more than a little nervous, especially when he smiled like he wanted to eat Rafe's insides.

There were three other people in the room that he'd never seen before. One was an older man, broad and powerful looking and he bore a resemblance to the younger man who stood next to him. The third newcomer was a teenager, probably about Rafe's age. He was rangy looking, but with a big frame to handle muscles that were just beginning to gain definition. He was already taller than Rafe with an unkempt shock of sandy blond hair. He stood off to the side, away from everyone else, seemingly content to just watch and wait. But whenever the guy looked in his direction, Rafe got the uncomfortable sense that the teen wasn't likely to be his friend, not that anyone in the room was.

Kess broke away from her meeting and got everyone's attention. When the room was mostly quiet, Kess began with introductions. The two older guys were Griff and Burke, Finn's relations. The teenager was Wyatt. Rafe remembered Lenore mentioning him a couple of times in passing. He was her best friend who was also a werebear. He swallowed nervously. A werebear wasn't something he wanted to tangle with.

She turned to Rafe and he found himself the center of everyone's scrutiny. "Okay, Rafe. Give us the details about where they've got Lenore."

His mouth was suddenly dry and all he wanted to do was disappear into the woodwork, but he didn't have that option. Lenore was in trouble and it was his fault. He quickly mapped out where she was being held, giving as much detail as he could. He saw Mebis jotting down something on a piece of paper as Rafe explained the layout of the tunnels where Lenore was being held.

"When I saw Lenore, there weren't any guards posted, but I'm betting that will change as the time for the exchange gets closer."