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"Did my mother give you permission?"

"I would not have said so, sir, nor would I have dared to take the liberty of entering this room if I... " I've told you! I've told you!

" Penella Brodrick cried at Raymond.

"The insolence of her! She wouldn't dare talk like that if he ... " Be quiet! Be quiet! "

"I won't be quiet." She swung around to Anna again, ordering her: "Put those books down."

Slowly Anna put the books on the table and immediately Penella Brodrick grabbed one up and, reading the titles aloud, she cried, "Pope's Essay On ManV She cast a glance back at Raymond, then added, " The lliad and The OdysseyV Then the furious look still on her face she cried at Anna,

"Don't have the effrontery, girl, to tell me that you can read or understand these books!"

"They are for my father. Madam gave me permission to take a loan of them. But yes, I could read and understand them and ... " Penella!

Penella! " Raymond had his hand on her upraised arm.

The books were now flung to the floor; and the words came out on spittle as the woman cried, "You insolent bastard! And you are a bastard, every inch of you and from a litter of bastards, birthed by a whore ... Anna gripped the edge of the table as she watched Raymond Brodrick almost dragging the infuriated woman down the library and through the door. She felt she was going to faint: her legs gave way beneath her.

She dropped onto the alcove seat and, folding her arms on the narrow table, she was about to lay her head on them when once again she heard the voice; and now she turned a fear-filled glance towards the panelling as Raymond Brodrick's voice came to her quite plainly, almost as if he were sitting at the other side of this narrow table, saying,

"Why do you hate her so?"

"Because he's flaunting her at me."

"You don't mean ... ?"

"Yes, I do mean. He's never away from the nursery now, and he hardly ever went there before, and you know the reason why."

"Penella, look at me. You say you love me."

"I do, I do, Raymond."

"Well, if you love me, why are you so concerned about whom he may be taking to bed? He doesn't have you, so he's bound to have someone. It stands to reason ... You still care for him, don't you?"

"No, I don't. What I feel for him is hate. He's not a man. How could you expect me to feel anything else but hate for someone who's tortured me for years with his silence? He ignores me except on occasions such as when he told me to leave her ... that bastard alone. Yes, do you know that? He's warned me what will happen if I go up there again."

"But you never did frequent the nursery very much, did you? The child was always brought down. You've got to stop this, you know, Penella; it'll burn you out. Your body isn't strong enough to carry the hate you have for him, and now apparently for her, and your love for me.

One is bound to cancel out the other. "

"It won't. / am strong enough. Why don't you hate him? You don't, do you?"

"No; I don't know. I did when he married you. And I hated you an'

all, didn't I?"

"Oh, Raymond, Raymond, take me away."

"Now, now; don't go into that again. I can't, not yet, not as long as mother is alive. When father is away the control is in her hands.

Although I am the eldest she is still the boss and, as you know, every penny that passes through her books is seen to by her . dear secretary.

"I "

I have enough money for both of us, darling. "

"You have enough money for yourself, my dear one, and your extravagant tastes, but not for us both. Anyway, I like the life I lead. You know I do. I like to work and I like to play. Now, come on; the carriage is waiting and has been for some time now. If all goes as arranged I will see you next week-end in London, then within a fortnight in Paris.

And I'll have another break in January, if you're still determined to stay away that long. Away you go now! But let me straighten your hat and kiss you once more."

In the silence that followed Anna raised her head, then lifted her hand and pressed it tightly across her mouth as if to still the emotion that aimed to tumble from it: the amazement, the disgust, the knowledge of the situation that had been revealed to her and the fact that she was implicated in it made her feel sick. She couldn't stay in this place, she couldn't;

she would have to go.

As she attempted to rise she felt dizzy, so dropped back onto the seat.

It was as if she had suffered a physical attack; and she almost had.

But had she done so, it couldn't have hurt her more than had the verbal one: You bastard! It had a dreadful sound. The word implied something bad, dirty, much more so than did gillyvor; and yet they both meant the same thing. And she had called her mother a whore . Ooh!

She actually sprang up, and then toppled back against the panel of the alcove as the hand touched her shoulder. She thought for a moment the woman had returned; then she was gaping up at Timothy and he was saying, "Oh, my dear, I'm sorry I startled you. I... at first, I thought you were lost in reading, but then ... Oh! my dear, come."

He held out his hand to her and his voice was light as he said, "Just a few inches further and you would have been through that panel. It's artificial; there used to be a door there, you know."

She turned now and gazed at the panel and she mouthed, "A door?"

"Yes." He was nodding at her.

"There were originally two doors leading into the other part of the library," he pointed up the room, 'and there was only the one alcove and the boys used to fight over it when they were studying. So their father had that panel put in and the seat and the table, and that mercifully solved the problem. "

She shook her head, then took his proffered hand as he said, "Come and sit in a more comfortable chair," and, as if she were a child, he led her around the long table to a leather chair standing near the fireplace.

"Sit down for a moment, my dear." He chafed her hand, adding, "You're cold." He took up the pair of bellows lying at the side of the fireplace and blew on the dull wood embers until the sparks began to fly up the chimney; he then drew a chair forward from the table and, after placing it by her side, he sat down and said quietly, "Tell me what happened to upset you so."

She was gazing down on her joined hands as she said, "I ... I can't explain, except to tell you that I ... I must leave here."

"But why? She's gone, and all tension has gone with her." He paused.

"Did you see her before she left? I mean ... Her head came up sharply and, looking at him, she said with some bitterness, " I not only saw her I heard her and almost felt her. She was going to strike me. If it hadn't been for Mr. She stopped as abruptly as she had started.

And when he said quietly, "Go on," she said, "No, no."

"Raymond was with her?"

When she remained silent he turned his head slowly and looked towards the alcove; then he looked down at his hands now as he said, "You overheard them talking in the next room? That's it, isn't it? And what you heard must have amazed you;

and when she knew that you had overheard . "No, no," she put in.

"No, I don't think she knew I had overheard anything. Yet I don't know. I dropped a book and ... and that must have told her there was someone in here, and unfortunately at any time the sight of me seems to arouse her anger, but today she ... she did not believe that I had been given permission to take the loan of books and she called me names."

When she stopped abruptly, he did not speak nor did he question her further, and so they sat side by side looking towards the fire until he said, "She is a very unhappy woman; and not very intelligent. She's to be pitied, in a way. It is because you are young and learned and he smiled now before he said, 'beautiful'. Then he added quickly, " Don't shake your head. I'm sure your mirror doesn't lie to you, and moreover, your straightforward and natural manner must infuriate her, for you do not act like the servant class. You are not subservient in any way because . well, you are an unusual girl, you know, and come from an unusual family . "ok, yes, yes' she nodded now " I come from an unusual family, and I'm never allowed to forget it. ' "Please.

Please. I meant that as a compliment, believe me, for I admire your father and your mother and honour them for the stand they took and the way they have brought up you and your brothers and sister. You're all better educated than many in the large mansions similar to this house."

Then, again a note of laughter in his voice, he said, "You must admit you're a very unusual crew."

She wanted to smile at him. He was such a nice man, so kind. He treated her like an equal, as did Mr. Simon . Oh, Mr. Simon. And for that woman to think that she and her husband . She would never be able to face him now. Yet he may not know of her suspicions. What had she said? That he ignored her, didn't speak to her. Then there must be a reason. Well, didn't she know the reason? Hadn't she heard the reason? But why did they live together? Hadn't Miss Netherton said something about him being very fond of his mother, and she of him? But that surely wouldn't keep him tied to a woman like her if . "That boy up there loves you."

"What? Oh, yes, yes, the child. And I'm very fond of him, too."

"Well, then, how can you talk about leaving? If I know anything, Penella will not return before Christmas, and if she decides to go to France, where she still has relatives, it could be three months before she comes back. She has stayed away as long before now. Come." He took hold of her hand.

"Promise me you will stay with us. Anyway, what will happen to me if you go? I will only have to trudge across that moor to see you, and you know what happened on the moor the last time I trudged. And my poor horse, too, had sore feet, or a sore foot... As she rose to her feet now she did smile at him, saying, " You should have been a diplomat; in fact,

I think you are one. By the way, may I enquire how you have been feeling lately? "

"You mean the epileptic seizures? Oh ... don't be embarrassed. I have ceased to worry about them. But, strangely, I have been free of them for weeks now. I'm on a new medicine. I had just begun taking it that day you came to my rescue and, you know, I have not had a seizure since. No; I lie. Well anyway, not a serious one, a petit mal, as it's called, once or twice, but that's all. They first started after a shock, you know. We were in Switzerland, my sister and I, and I saw the avalanche coming. It would have enveloped her, and I remember screaming a warning to her; and then it enveloped us both. But now my doctor thinks it may not be epilepsy. He has another name for it. You see, it all happens up here." He tapped his head.

"One of the main cells decided it's not getting enough attention so hits out, and down I go fighting! And that's odd, because I'm not a fighting man. I'm a coward, an extreme coward."

"Oh, Mr. Timothy, I think ... " What do you think? "

"I think you're the nicest man I've ever met."

She watched the colour of his face change: it was as if he were blushing, and he turned from her abruptly, saying, "Don't say that.

Don't be too kind to me or I may take advantage of it. "

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to up ... He turned towards her again, saying, " You didn't upset me, my dear, anything but. Anyway' his tone changed 'now that the coast is clear from dragons, dwarfs, and gingle-gill-goollies, I would like to bring Andrew across to visit your family sometime. "

"Oh, you'd be welcome. But tell me, I have never heard that word before, ginglegillgoollies?"

"Oh, that. It's one of my home-made ones. I make up such for children's tales. Do you like fairy tales?"

"I was brought up on them."

"Did they not frighten you?"

"Yes, some of them did."

"Just some of them? Most of them did with me. We had a nanny who fancied herself as an actress and she read some of the very early ones and they are horrific. And she used to scare me to death. So I write fairy stories that have happy endings. You look surprised."

"No. No, I'm not, because my father has told me that Sir Walter Scott wrote fairy tales."

"Do you read Scott?"

"Not much. I ... I'm not very fond of him. I find his writing ...

well, rather laborious. Do you like him?"

"Yes. Yes, I must confess I do like him. But then I have more time to indulge my fancy. I admit he takes some getting into."

They were walking towards the library door now and she said, "I would like to say thank you, Mr. Timothy. You have been of great help to me."

"Ah, well, then there's going to be no more talk of leaving?"

She sighed before she said, "Well, not for the present."

"That's good news. Now we can look forward to a happy Christmas, eh?"

On the drive home she wavered as to whether or not she should tell at least her mother what had transpired in the library; but then she knew her mother would surely confide in her father and the implications of that woman's suggestion would trouble them both, as it did herself. So she decided to say nothing for the time being, and she was even able to laugh at Barry's chatter as he endorsed the household's relief at the departure of the mistress.

"There's one I know'll thank God for her goin', an' that's Milligan,

'cos that poor beast's been run off his four feet. He used to duck his head every time he saw her comin' into the yard. I'm tellin' you, 'tis God's truth an' could be borne out by everybody in the stables. That horse used to back away from the door an' kick like hell. Beggin' your pardon, miss, but he did. The devil himself couldn't have used his hooves quicker than Milligan when she went to get on his back. Oh,

'tis like a ton weight off each of us; an' everyone else, too. The lasses are different in the kitchen. You can have a crack with 'em an'

not be afraid of jumpin' out of your skin an' into the horse trough."

Laughingly she enquired, why into the horse trough? to have the answer, "Well, after the mis tress's tongue has lashed out at you, you're stingin' all over. D'you know, she can swear like a trooper.