I am Haunted: Living Life Through the Dead (7 page)

How is an empath different from a psychic medium? A true medium has the ability to communicate with, and sometimes see, the dead through his or her mind. The medium makes a physical and literal connection that ends up in words being spoken though the medium. I can’t do this. I just feel the spirits’ emotions and try to connect that way.

There are times when I don’t want to be an empath, but shutting it off is hard to do. There are times when it’s embarrassing because the stereotype of an empath is a weak, sensitive person, and that’s not me. There are things I’ll fight for and issues I’ll stand my ground on. So when I’m around a group of people and I get a sudden surge of sadness from a spirit and feel like crying, I have to fight it off. It’s not easy, and it takes training. Lots of it.

The GAC gets criticized and even ridiculed sometimes because people don’t realize what we’re going through and can’t see any paranormal activity, even though we clearly feel it. Just because there’s no video or audio evidence of a spirit in a room doesn’t mean that we’re alone. Nick and Aaron are both sensitives. We can feel things that technology doesn’t always capture. Our bodies are in tune with the paranormal; I firmly believe that. Some people say that our minds are playing tricks on us, but after hundreds of investigations, I know what I feel and what I don’t. I don’t expect anyone to understand it because we live in a “show me” society, but to me it’s undeniable.

We may act goofy or strange sometimes, which the haters love. “Oh, there they go…possessed again,” they say, without realizing that spirits can use their energy to manipulate empaths and sensitives in a way that regular people are immune to, even though it’s right there in front of them. We stay as far away from the drama and crap talking as possible because we know that we’re different, and we know when we’re in contact with spirits, whether they appear on camera as apparitions or not.

In
The Matrix,
Keanu Reeves is injected with new programs, and he evolves with each new packet of knowledge. It’s the same for me as an empath. At every location I’m infused with new experiences, but not from today. My experiences are the war-torn hills of Gettysburg, the tribal lands of the Chumash Indians, and the hysteria surrounding nineteenth-century Salem. This makes me more well-rounded and trains me to deal with certain situations both in the real world and during investigations.

People cast on other TV shows who have no abilities but think they’re experts on the paranormal disgust me. They appear on a show and suddenly they’re on the paranormal lecture circuit, making mileage out of being on TV. In truth, they have no abilities and no business claiming they do. They’re just regular people who can’t catch any paranormal evidence, and then they tell people that their houses aren’t haunted. I don’t believe in that.

I BELIEVE THERE ARE A FEW PEOPLE IN THIS
WORLD WHO HAVE THE ABILITY TO MAKE
DEEPER CONNECTIONS WITH THE DEAD,
AND I’M FORTUNATE TO BE ONE OF THEM.

It’s my mission.

Dark spirits can inflict pain and oppression on people, and their victims usually aren’t taken seriously by anyone who wasn’t there to witness the attack, leaving them confused and alone. I know. I’ve been there. So I listen to people when they talk about those traumatic events, and by doing so I catch things that most people won’t. They say that when someone is in pain, another person’s healing energy can comfort them, so I do my best to help people who have been victimized by supernatural forces.

Being an empath, I have a gift for comforting people when they need it. Whether they were attacked by a spirit, affected by the energy of a haunted location, or saddened by the loss of a family member or friend, I feel that and can connect with them. This is why I created the show
Ghost Adventures Aftershocks,
in which we invite people from past episodes to Las Vegas to update us on how they and their ghosts have fared since we paid them a visit.

I want to leave this world knowing that I inspired people and brought to light things that people don’t understand about life. I’m not one of these goons with fame-injected egos who are cast on a show and work a season or two and think they know everything about ghosts. The paranormal is my life, and really listening to and helping people who have been affected by spirits is important to me.

When I interview people, I connect with them as an empath. I can feel their emotions. I can calibrate my demeanor to match whatever way they’re projecting their experiences onto me. I truly believe that I do help people in these interviews when there are tears, anger, pain, and closure. That’s meaningful to me. I don’t look at myself as a paranormal Dr. Phil, and I don’t compare myself to anyone else. I’m just me. This is my haunted life, and I have a long and comfortable relationship with the strange and weird. But I feel that in these interviews, I do help people work through their anger and pain and find closure.

There’s no bigger reward in my life than hearing people tell me that I’ve helped them. Material possessions come and go, but people telling me that I made a difference in their lives by putting in the time to listen and talk to them, giving me hugs, and shedding tears—that’s the meaning in my life. That’s what keeps me going. It makes it easier to wake up in the morning and gives me a true purpose, more than being on TV. I’m a passionate person who cares about people, and I get great satisfaction from helping people who have been affected by spirits. It’s a new part of me that I’ve discovered.

Life is all about finding yourself through experiences, and about learning more and more about who you are and what you’re capable of. If you’re getting older and not succeeding in anything or doing anything to make a positive impact on people, then you’re not living. You’re just waiting for death. Get out there and make an impact on people, whether it’s by helping them directly or by doing research to make their lives better or just by inspiring them. Do something good to be remembered for. This is more important than money.

I get letters all the time about how
Ghost Adventures
brings families together and helps people get through tough times. When we filmed at Brookdale Lodge in northern California, for example, one particular lady stood out to me. When we first met her, I could tell that she was traumatized by something. Part of being a good interviewer is figuring out whether people are trying to play the role of the victim in order to get attention or sympathy. Maybe they’re lonely or looking for fame. There are all kinds of people out there, so I never assume that anything anyone says is true or untrue, or that a person is evil or good or whatever. But as a sensitive, I can read body language. Eye contact, tone of voice, tears…people have a lot of tells. (In another life I’d be a damn good lawyer.)

Her name was Denise, and I knew right away that she wasn’t faking anything. The evidence we gathered at Brookdale indicated that there was a negative spirit there, so I believed her when she said that she’d been hurt. She began to cry when she recalled the attack during our interview, and it reminded me of my own first encounter with dark energy. When I see someone in pain from an event like this, I put my arm around them and try to transfer healing energy onto them. I’m not saying that I have healing powers through touch, but it has worked in the past, so I let my body and actions speak for themselves.

What was interesting about Denise was that soon after she left Brookdale Lodge (after being attacked many times), she felt the way most people do after being victimized by an evil spirit: She wanted to go back and confront it. Being affected by an evil spirit is not like being verbally assaulted with nasty insults or physically assaulted with a punch. The spirit injects itself into you, and a part of it stays with you. That part makes you want to return to the place where it infected you. That’s the spirit’s “nest,” where its bad energy lives. Even though you’re terrified to go back, the spirit drives you to return so that it can feed off of you like any other parasite. What I told Denise (and what I tell everyone else who has this type of encounter) is that no matter how weak you think you are, you have to be strong, show courage, and stand up to the spirit like you would to any bully. Then it won’t be able to beat you. I could see the pain in her eyes and sense that something powerful and evil had affected her—yet she wanted to look it in the eye and let it know that she was stronger than it was. I really respect that.

We started filming
Ghost Adventures Aftershocks
in early 2014. It was supposed to be the paranormal version of a talk show, but it ended up changing me in so many ways. When you’re trying to understand something in the paranormal field, there’s nothing more powerful than sitting down and talking with people who have been deeply affected by ghosts, spirits, and demons. They’re frequently traumatized and always emotional about their experiences, and for an empath like me, it can be overwhelming.

I created
Aftershocks
to show that I care about people who are affected by evil forces. I’m proud to sit and talk with those people outside the show, not for money or fame but because it allows me to help them and gives my life meaning. People who have known me for a while say that they’ve seen me change over the years. I’ve gotten older, but more importantly wiser, because I’ve seen the reality of the unreal. I’ve seen the spirit world come to life countless times, and it has affected me in a way that drives me to listen to and help people more.

Van Helsing traveled the world as a vampire slayer, and though I don’t want to compare myself to any fictional figure, what I used to think was crazy has become my reality and my mission as I embark on my own travels. Discovering parts of myself that I never knew existed and identifying people who have been affected by unwelcome spirits seems to be my calling, but it’s not without its drawbacks. It’s hard for me to have relationships because I feel that my purpose isn’t to have a traditional life, but to dedicate myself to helping people and spirits while I’m here.

Aftershocks
has enabled me to find parts of Zak that weren’t there ten years ago. I’m so passionate about this that I don’t even call it work. Work is usually a place people go to do what they have to do, not what they want to do. Work is there for most people to make money and get by. I’m very fortunate that I get to do what I love and get by financially at the same time.

There’s a special moment that occurs when I interview someone and we have a breakthrough. During every interview I can feel the person heal. There are no filters, no lying, no deception, and no worry about how the story is going to be perceived. It’s all about honesty and trust. These interactions have taught me how empathetic I am toward people. I’ve found so many of the answers I’m looking for as a paranormal investigator not from spirits or ghosts, but from the people who have been affected by them.

Before
Aftershocks,
I’d never been so exposed to so many supercharged, powerful emotions from strangers. To see them let everything out that they’d kept inside for so long on this show and in front of me is truly humbling. It gives this show a bigger purpose than entertainment: It provides closure for these people. Communication is a powerful thing. It’s how we understand each other and connect to the world around us.

The stories from
Aftershocks
are unlike anything I’ve heard on
Ghost Adventures.
I wasn’t expecting this show to be as impactful as it is, and I wasn’t expecting to be so deeply in tune with these people. When they start talking and opening up, I’m blown away. I lose track of time because I get so involved in their stories. I firmly believe that you can help a spirit find closure and pass on to the other side, and it’s the same with the people who have appeared on
Aftershocks.

One interview that sticks with me, but not for the emotional impact of the interview, was with a psychic named Liz Nowicki. I got a lot of crap from viewers after this episode, and I want to clear the air here. Liz is the resident psychic medium of the Borden House, where Lizzie Borden was accused of murdering her mother and father with an axe (she was eventually cleared by a jury of any wrongdoing). While working in the house, Liz claims to have been sexually violated by a negative spirit, so I sat down to talk with her about her experience.

Every interviewee is prescreened, so we know exactly what they’re going to talk about before they come on the show. Liz’s whole reason for being there was to talk about this alleged sexual attack. A lot of people were sore with me for asking questions about the assault because Liz was clearly uncomfortable during that part of the interview, but that’s why she was there in the first place.

My questions were professional, and I didn’t cross any boundaries at any time. I took it at a slow pace and asked her if she wanted to stop several times, which she never did. What got to me the most about this interview was that she was just as much an antagonist as she was a victim. While I felt bad for her and the things she went through, I also disagreed with her when she accused Mr. Borden of raping Lizzie. That accusation didn’t sit well with me.