I Am in Here (23 page)

I am not a writer by training or disposition, but I promised Elizabeth I would do anything in my power to get her poetry and message of hope out into the world. Many loving people rallied around us, and we are grateful for their time and talents in making this book a reality.

In particular, three angels went above and beyond, reading countless drafts and improving them immeasurably.

I wrote about Sean in the chapter “Healing.” Who would have thought that passing notes in English class would lead to this? Your energy, enthusiasm, and writing craftsmanship added structure, depth, and beauty to this book.

I introduced Charlie in “Suffering.” Who would have thought that a chance meeting in Tibet would produce this? Your production skills and talented team gave us a television show that created the platform for telling this story.

I wrote about Jim in “Wall Street and Autism.” Who would have thought that out of the ashes of LockStar would come this? Your encouragement to tell our story and relentless belief in Elizabeth helped us find our voices.

Thank you, Pastor Bill, Cheryl, and Sean (yes, you get double billing), for lifting this project up in prayer and sending me words of encouragement in emails and text messages.

Thank you, Soma, for giving Elizabeth an escape from her silent cage.

Thank you, Terri, for being there for Elizabeth every day for more than a decade.

Thank you, Fred and Jane, for your friendships, close readings, and encouragement to tell Elizabeth's story.

Thank you, Drs. Sid, Jeff, and Charles, for guiding us through all of the biomedical interventions.

Thank you, Dr. Dosia, for taking a special interest in Elizabeth and helping her get well.

Thank you to all who worked so hard and lovingly on our home-based educational team: Terri, Tina, Becky, Susan, Corey, Michelle, Chris, Debbie, Kara, Missy, Joann, Pat, and the many others whose names are now lost to me.

Thank you, teachers and administrators at Elizabeth's school, for opening your minds and hearts to educate and embrace a special child.

Thank you, Richard, for introducing me to your thoughtful agent, Kathy.

Thank you, Jennifer and Wendy, for improving this book with your keen editorial eyes.

Thank you, Revell team, for your commitment to getting Elizabeth's message of hope out to the world.

Thank you, Ray, for staying the course for the children. Thank you, Mom, for being my mother, in every beautiful sense of the word.

Thank you, Gale, Charles, and Elizabeth, for the love, joy, and wonder you have brought into my life.

Chapter 2 Autism

[1]
. Thomas Wolfe,
Look Homeward, Angel
(New York: Charles Scribner's Sons, 1929), 1.

Chapter 7 Community

[1]
. William Wordsworth, “Ode: Imitations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood,” in Sir Arthur Thomas Quiller-Couch, ed.,
The Oxford Book of English Verse
(Oxford: Clarendon, 1919); online at Bartleby.com, www.bartleby.com/101/.

[2]
. Malcolm Gladwell,
The Tipping Point
(New York: Little, Brown and Company, 2000), 38.

Chapter 8 Nature

[1]
. Helen Keller,
The World I Live In
(London: Hodder & Stoughton, 1904), 119; available online at Project Gutenberg, http://www.gutenberg.org/files/27683/27683-h/27683-h.htm.

[2]
. Ralph Waldo Emerson,
Nature
(Boston: James Munroe and Company, 1849); available online at Project Gutenberg, http://www.gutenberg.org/files/29433/29433-h/29433-h.htm.

Chapter 9 Hopes and Dreams

[1]
.
Temple Grandin
, directed by Mick Jackson (New York: HBO Home Video, 2010), DVD.

[2]
. Christopher Phillips, “I Adopted Them with My Heart,”
Parade
, December 25, 1988, 4–5.

[3]
. Eustacia Cutler,
A Thorn in My Pocket
(Arlington, TX: Future Horizons, 2004), 161.

[4]
. Jenny McCarthy,
Louder Than Words: A Mother's Journey in Healing Autism
(New York: Dutton, 2007), 189, emphasis in original.

[5]
. Bari Weiss, “Life Among the ‘Yakkity Yaks,'” The Weekend Interview,
Wall Street Journal
, February 23, 2010, http://online.wsj.com/article/SB100014240527 48703525704575061123564007514.html. Grandin's term “Aspberger” is a form of high-functioning autism more commonly spelled “Asperger's.”

[6]
. Victor Frankl,
Man's Search for Meaning
(Boston: Beacon Press, 1959), 65–66.

Chapter 11 Families

[1]
. “The Garden/All in the Golden Afternoon,
Walt Disney's Alice in Wonderland
(1951; Burbank, CA: Walt Disney Home Video, 2004), DVD.

Chapter 12 Suffering

[1]
. As quoted in “Science: Death of a Genuis,”
Time
, May 2, 1955, http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,866292,00.html.

[2]
. M. Scott Peck,
The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth
, 25th ann. ed. (New York: Touchstone, 2003), 15.

[3]
. Rabbi Harold Kushner,
When Bad Things Happen to Good People
(New York: Avon Books, 1983), 4.

Chapter 13 God

[1]
. Luke Timothy Johnson,
Living Jesus: Learning the Heart of the Gospel
(New York: HarperOne, 1999), 60.

[2]
. William Stillman,
Autism and the God Connection
(Naperville, IL: Source-Books, 2006), 184–98.

[3]
. Richard Foster,
Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth
(New York: HarperCollins, 1978), 100–101.

[4]
. Eberhard Arnold, “Why We Choose Silence Over Dialogue,”
The Plough
, a publication of the Bruderhof communities, no. 11 (July/August 1985): 12; as quoted in Foster,
Celebration of Discipline
, 165.

Chapter 15 Joy

[1]
. Henri Nouwen,
Adam: God's Beloved
(Maryknoll, NY: Orbis Books, 1997), 15.

[2]
. Frankl,
Man's Search for Meaning
, 37.

[3]
. Emily Dickinson,
The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson
(Boston: Little, Brown, 1924); Bartleby.com, 2000, www.bartleby.com/113/.

[4]
. Henri J. M. Nouwen,
The Dance of Life: Weaving Sorrows and Blessings into One Joyful Step
, ed. Michael Ford (Notre Dame, IN: Ave Maria Press, 2005), 206–7.

[5]
. Cliff Edwards,
Van Gogh and God
(Chicago: Loyola Press, 1989), ix–x.

[6]
. Ibid., 1.

[7]
. Paul Tillich,
The Essential Tillich: An Anthology of the Writings of Paul Tillich
, ed. F. Forrester Church (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1999), 42.

Epilogue

[1]
. Alfred, Lord Tennyson, “Flower in the Crannied Wall,”
A Collection of Poems
(Garden City, NY: Doubleday, 1972), 318.

Elizabeth M. Bonker
is a thirteen-year-old young lady with autism who cannot yet speak but who writes deeply revealing poetry, which was featured on PBS's
Religion & Ethics Newsweekly
. She excels in mainstream public school with an educational aide.

Virginia G. Breen
is the mother of three beautiful children, two of whom are profoundly affected by autism. Besides working to heal her children, Virginia is a venture capitalist investing in high-tech companies, and she sits on both corporate and nonprofit boards. Previously, she studied computer science at Harvard, business at Columbia, and philosophy in Singapore. She now studies relentlessly at the school of autism.

Elizabeth and Virginia live in northern New Jersey.

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