I am Not Your Melody: (steamy cowboy romance) (11 page)

Allie gasped at the revelation. “I don’t know what to say to that,” she said. “Wow.”

“I’m ready to move forward. Too many bad memories in my house, on the ranch. I can’t shake ‘em.”

“I think it’s a good idea, I guess,” Allie said. “Especially if you feel like you need a fresh start. The guys seemed to have everything handled here. But this was your father’s cattle ranch, and you grandpa’s too, if I remember correctly.”

He nodded that she was right. “I’ve forgotten all the things I’ve already told you.”

“Are you worried about giving that legacy up?”

“Hell, I already renamed it when Melody moved in,” he said. “I shouldn’ta done that.”

Bill took her hand and pulled her over next to him, leaning up against a bale of hay. He wrapped his arm around her, and pulled her close to him. “I think I want you near me so much ‘cause before we met in person, our emails made me feel close to you… But I could never see you or touch you. Now I can, an’ I’m takin’ advantage of that.”

Allie shook her head and smiled. “If I’m enjoying it, then you’re not really taking advantage.”

The conversation stilled. The only sounds were of the horses shuffling below, and of their own breathing.

Bill brought his hand to her belly, and slowly moved up over her shirt to her waist, his hands roving gently as they sat there. Down her arms, and up to her breasts, drawing a lazy circle around her nipple through her shirt.

Yes
.

“I ain’t married,” Bill said softly. “Not anymore. And I don’t have a kid to pass Melody Ranch on to. There’s no reason for me to stay on at the ranch.”

Allie nodded, hearing him, but also
feeling
him, the slow, steady pressure of his wandering hands as he spoke. He touched her thigh, caressing it, up through to her inner thigh.

She inhaled, thrilled — and a bit surprised — by the intimacy. It was something that was meant to happen, she knew. Every interaction they’d had, had led up to this very point in time.

Bill smiled at her reaction. “Besides, if I’m workin’ at the bar with you — that’s the family business too. At least now I’m actually doin’ something with it.”

He brought his hand all the way up to the junction of her thighs, over her jeans, and held her there. His hard palm against her most sensitive areas made her dizzy with need.

“I haven’t been this excited about someone — I mean, some
thing
… in a long time. Gettin’ the bar open again,” he said, playing with her, maneuvering his hands ever so carefully over her body. “It’s gonna be big.”

Allie looked up at him through heavy lidded eyes. “You didn’t carry me up here to actually show me the hayloft.”

“No,” Bill said. He took his hat off, and covered her with his body, his weight like a warm blanket on top of her. “I didn’t bring you up here jus’ to show you the hay.”

Chapter Nine

Every reason why they shouldn’t be doing this flashed through Allie’s mind simultaneously. Bill was going to be her business partner, and mixing business with pleasure was a bad idea. She still had a broken heart from losing her husband. It had been a year, but Bill would be the very first man that she’d been with sexually since the annulment.

She was afraid of getting her heart broken again. He probably didn’t even know how much power he had. He could crush her heart if she wasn’t careful, if she didn’t leave up some sort of wall.

Those hands, that mouth of his, on her neck… He brushed his lips down her cleavage, pulling her shirt down to kiss the tops of her breasts. The stubble on his jaw scratched at her sensitive skin, and she relished every sensation.

“I want to,” she whispered.

Bill stopped unzipping her pants, frozen. “…but?”

“No ‘but’. Just… I want to.”

He growled with passion, and kissed her on the mouth, sliding her jeans down her thighs. She kicked off her boots and he pulled her jeans off, leaving her feeling deliciously exposed. The hay scratched at her bare thighs beneath her.

“You are beautiful,” Bill said.

He kicked his boots off to, and his jeans. His heavy belt buckle fell to the floor of the hayloft. The expected thud was dampened by the layer of hay. He stood above her, his length rigid in his boxer briefs, showing in stark relief against the thin gray cotton material.

“You are beautiful, too,” Allie said. It was the truth.

He pulled his T-shirt up over his head and threw it on the ground. He had several tattoos that she hadn’t seen with his shirt on. One wound across his upper arm, another along his side. They made him look even stronger somehow, sexy.

Her stomach fluttered with excitement.
This is happening
. For the first time in a very long time, she was ready to experience sex with someone other than her ex.

The desire in his eyes heated her very soul. She pulled her own shirt off, and laid it behind her so she’d have something soft against her skin.

“Aw,” Bill said, “sorry ‘bout that.” H picked up his own shirt and leaned down, tucking it beneath her bottom and legs. “Better?”

Allie smiled. “You’re sweet.”

He laid himself over her body, keeping the full weight of him off of her. She wrapped her arms around his neck the same way she had when he’d carried her up the ladder.

As frightened as she’d been at the idea of climbing that ladder, she’d known she could trust him with her physical safety. She could trust him to take care of her. Bill had earned that. It was a good feeling to have.

The testosterone seemed to come off him in waves, making her feel primal, instinctively attracted. He pulled her panties down with one hand, and kissed down her neck to her belly, down to her wetness, where he pushed her inner thighs open with his broad shoulders and strong hands, and kissed her tender bud.

Allie cried out in ecstasy as Bill took her to levels of pleasure she’d never experienced before, not with her ex, not even with herself.

“You taste so good,” he said murmured, and kissed her there again. “I need to be in you.”

“Yes,” she breathed. “Yes.”

He reached behind him for his jeans, and pulled the packet from them. Quickly, he sheathed himself in latex and paused before he entered her.

“I don’t know what doin’ this means,” Bill said. “I don’t want to lead you on.”

“After my last relationship,” she said, “I have good reason not to make the same mistake again. Just stay honest with me.”

Bill nodded, looking as if every ounce of energy he had was going toward keeping himself from thrusting into her until they had this important talk.

“Same,” he said, his voice raw. “‘Long as we’re on the same page.”

“We are.”

Allie reached out and wrapped her legs around his, and drew him into her. He groaned with desire, and held onto her tightly as they rocked together, moving as one.

His hair fell across his face, and Allie smoothed it back, kissing his forehead, kissing his stubbled cheeks, his lips, and as he rose up on his knees to move into her more deeply, she pressed kisses along his chest.

His muscles flexed and strained as he moved within her. He was so big, so thick, he was hitting a spot inside of her that had never been stimulated before… She felt like she could melt right there in his arms, and then — the melting sensation transformed, as if she might explode with pleasure. Everything was — tight, tight — and he moved quickly, pounding into her now, his thrusts getting faster and faster until her orgasm peaked, cracking her open with bliss and showering her nerves with intense sensation.

She cried out as her orgasm hit hard, the aftershocks shaking her core, and she clung on, riding out with him the final few thrusts before he furrowed his brow, groaning.

“
Allie
,” he said, his face right next to her ear as he finally let go, his climax bringing on another aftershock of her orgasm.

They didn’t move, holding each other tight.

Allie’s body trembled. “That was incredible.”

Bill collapsed on top of her, breathing hard. “Hell yeah.” He paused. “It doesn’t feel wrong, does it?”

“No,” she whispered.

“This is the first time sex doesn’t feel like I’m… betrayin’ her.”

“You’re my first, too.” The first man other than her husband she’d slept with since he’d left her. And no, it’s didn’t feel like a betrayal. It felt…right.

Allie ran her fingers down his back, letting his sweat wet the tips. Their breath began slowing, together, and their hearts slowed their frenetic beats, until they beat as one.

Please, Bill… Don’t make me fall in love with you.

I can’t go through it again
.

Chapter Ten

“Hey, Ginger!” Allie called as she entered Ginger’s General Store, the bell on the doorframe jingling. The homey scent of candles and pies greeted her.

“Oh good! I need more flyers,” the woman said, wiping her hands on the lower half of her shirt as she came out from behind the register. “I been puttin’ one in almost every bag when folks come in!”

“Wow,” Allie said. “That’s awesome. Thank you so much for supporting me…us. The bar.”

“All of you,” Ginger agreed, nodding. “I’m just happy to have a place to let my hair down right here in town! No more drivin’ an hour each way. I can’t stand driving in the city, it’s awful.”

Allie laughed. “Then you won’t want to move to Miami,” she suggested.

The new stack of flyers for the grand opening party of Uncle Freddy’s Bar had events listed on it (Bingo night!), and even a black and white photo of herself. That had been Bill’s idea, so that when folks saw her they’d know who she was.

“I’d melt in Florida,” Ginger said. “Have you found live music yet?”

“No,” Allie said. “Why? Do you know someone?”

“No,” she laughed, as if the idea of her knowing a musician was preposterous. “But everything else lookin’ ready to start, for the date on the flyer?”

“We’re working on it,” Allie said. “I mean…the bar will be ready. If I have to go without sleep from now until the grand opening, the bar will be ready.”

“That’s the spirit! So have ya had to call in the boys on the ranch for backup from Big Bad Bill yet?”

“Nope.” Allie grinned and shook her head. “Thanks for handing out the flyers, Ginger. You rock.”

As Allie left the store, the bell on the top of the door frame ringing to announce her exit, Ginger called, “Keep your chin up and don’t let him scare ya!”

Right. She wouldn’t let Big Bad Bill — or the tenuous thread their relationship balanced on — scare her.

Chin up
.

***

Renovations at the bar were going well. The afternoon sun filtered through the new windows along the wall, and Allie squinted, trying to reduce the glare. Maybe some blinds were in order? Bill had already laid about half of the dance floor, and it was looking really good.

Allie had painted two of the walls green, to complement the evergreens outside. Paint roller in hand, she stared at the area behind the bar. Should that be green too? Or did she need an accent color?

“What do you think, Bill?” she called.

Bill glanced up from laying the dance floor with a sigh and looked at her quizzically. He acted like she’d been asking his advice on everything… oh, wait. She had been. Why not? That big, bad cowboy had more of a knack for interior design than he gave himself credit for.

“Should we do a different color for the behind the bar?” Allie pressed. “Some sort of bold accent color?”

“I dunno. You can figure it out.” He paused, cocking his head as he observed the room. “Mix it up.”

“Definitely.”

She wouldn’t point out that he had just spoken more words to her than he had all day combined.
Way to make a woman feel awkward after sleeping with her, dude
, she mentally scolded him. But not out loud. Bill would come around.

Red would look too Christmas-y with the green. Besides, she didn’t want to give the place a fast-food or bordello feel. And the color couldn’t be too girly… or could it? Would guys come to drink in a pink bar? Allie laughed to herself at the mental image of a crew of tough cowboys sitting around a bubble-gum pink bar.
Nice
.

Wait a minute…

“Dark blue!” she exclaimed. “And I’ll string little pinpoint lights all over it. It will look like a starry night!”

From the corner of the bar, Bill hammered in the final nail on the dance floor, set down his tools, and brushed his hands off on his jeans. He walked over and stood next to her, his arms crossed against his chest, and stared at the wall with renewed appreciation.

“Never would’ve thought of that,” he said. “But I like it.”

“Thanks,” Allie said. She had to run to the paint store now.

As she turned to go, Bill grabbed her wrist. She gasped and stopped in her tracks.

“Wait,” he said, holding her in place to keep her from leaving.

Allie looked at him warily. “Okay…I’m waiting.”

“I ignored you this mornin’ back at the house. Wasn’t intentional… I just didn’t know what to say.”

“‘Good morning’ would have been appropriate,” she suggested. She smiled to soften her words. “Look, I get it. You don’t want to make this into a ‘thing’. Neither do I. I’ll probably be single for the rest of my life, if I’ve learned anything after my shamble of a marriage.”

Bill shook his head and pulled her in close to him, so close that their lips were mere centimeters apart.

“I don’t know what to say around you,” he admitted, “and I’m scared as hell to start somethin’ new, too.”

“Then what are we doing here?” Allie asked.

She winced at how harsh the words came out. The last thing she wanted to do was push him away. And yet, keeping a protective wall between them seemed like the easy way out. It was so natural, so instinctive to keep him at arms’ length. His painfully clear unease with their growing feelings made is so easy for her to keep that distance, too.

But she wanted to kiss him. Even more, she wanted him to want her, not just as a business partner, or as an occasional lover, but as… what? A girlfriend? Wife?