I Am The Alpha (21 page)

I closed my eyes and sniffed, tears leaking free and felt a mixture of so many things. I was afraid, but that was minor in comparison to the quiet desolation creeping out from my center.

There was no bite mark, no scar; no hint of where Romulus had bitten me, and for that I felt such gratitude. I closed my eyes and let my tears fall, hot and salty, tightening my skin where they trailed down my cheeks and brushed the mark left behind by William.

I felt a sharp, fractured ache deep in the center of my being at having been parted from him. I opened my eyes and studied the delicate ring of scars that his very human teeth had set into my shoulder where it met my neck.

The slightly raised scar tissue was paler than the rest of my skin and I felt my brows draw in. I leaned closer to the glass, my mouth opening in a tiny ‘o’ of surprise. It shimmered, the scar did, as I turned, twisting my body this way and that in the dim light of the room. A faint, pearlescent, blue sheen shimmered across its surface.
Like moonstone
, the thought came unbidden, instinctually, and I swallowed hard.

The door to the bedroom swung inward and Remus stepped through with a tray in his hands. I took a deep breath and halted.
I knew it was Remus and not Romulus by smell
, I was jolted to realize. Oh, God this was crazy.

“Where’s William?” I asked and my voice startled me. It sounded like me but didn’t. The nuances and tones richer somehow. I closed my eyes. All of my senses were pretty much on overdrive and it was
not
fun.

“You need to eat,” he said sternly.

“I’m not hungry.”

“Chloe…” he said, and arched one of his dark brows, “You need to eat,” he said calmly and set the tray on the foot of the bed.

“I told you, I’m not hungry…” which was only partially a lie. I was hungry, just the thought of food made me feel sick to my stomach.
God, I missed William.

He laughed softly, but there was nothing happy about it, “So it
does
go both ways, interesting.”

“What goes both ways?” I asked.

“Come and eat and I will tell you.”

I smoothed my damp palms along the satin of the nightgown nervously and Remus scoffed, “Don’t worry. I tended to you, not my brother. Your virtue is safe,” he mocked. I ignored him.

“How about you tell me what you were talking about just then and then maybe I’ll eat something?”

“Do you enjoy being difficult just for the sake of being difficult?” he asked with a frown.

“Yes,” I replied honestly. His eyes widened and he suppressed a smile. He raked a hand through his spikey, short dark hair.

“You were here for three days before you woke up the first time. Rom knocked you out and you’ve been out over a day more. Surely our little brother filled you in on the ridiculous calorie intake required by wolf-kind?” I nodded and he looked pointedly at the covered tray, whisking off the lid.

Steak and chicken breast cut into neat, bite sized pieces rested on a plate along with some Asparagus and a roll. It was quite a bit of food, but not totally overwhelming. I perched on the end of the bed and put the napkin in my lap, frowning at the ensemble. The tray held silverware, and when I say silverware I mean the real deal, except it wasn’t silver it was
gold
.

“Where’s William?” I asked again after taking a bite and Remus gave me a half charmed smile. He sank into a chair by the dresser, hiking back the sleeves of his black thermal over his forearms.

“At home, working on one of his sculptures I’d imagine.” He took a seat in a chair beside the dresser and leaned back in it, hooking his thumbs through the front belt loops of his dark jeans.

“Has he tried to…?”

“No,” and his mouth crushed down into a thin line, “Eat some more.” I stopped defiantly, the steak turning to so much ash in my mouth.

“Why?”

“Don’t worry about that for now.”

“You’re kidding me right? What’s he done?” I demanded.

“What’s who done?”

“Your asshole brother! What’s he done to William?” I demanded. Remus laughed outright at that.

“Nothing, he hasn’t done anything. William has challenged Romulus for Alpha,” I felt my face shut down and Remus looked on, bemused, “Eat, Chloe.”

I pushed the tray away from myself and stood, going to the window. I pulled the drape aside and looked down into a bustling intersection. People dressed for a night on the town. All of the buildings were old and stone.

“Where are we?” I demanded. It was nothing like the woods we’d left behind, no this was decidedly an urban area.

“Seattle, that’s Pioneer Square. The historic district. You’re in the loft I share with my brother.”

“Where is he?”

“Not home.”

“Good.”

A long silence ensued as we stalemated for the time being. I stared down at all of the people wandering through the intersection, slipping in and out of the clubs and bars and all I wanted was to see William. To feel his arms around me, his lips on mine. I closed my eyes and could almost feel the echo of his kiss.

A harsh sigh behind me made me turn, my fingers were pressed unbidden to my lips.

“It goes both ways,” he explained to me, “William claimed you as his mate but even without the benefit of a wolf of your own, you claimed my little brother too. Remarkable.” Remus had stood from his place on the chair and now, he stuffed his hands in his pockets. He turned his back on me with another heavy sigh and went for the door.

“Eat, Chloe…” he said, and leaving the tray behind, went out into the rest of the loft. Leaving the door swinging wide. I returned to staring out the window.

William had challenged Romulus for Alpha. A challenge like that only ended with one of them dead, from what I had gleaned about Pack politics. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. I was reasonably confident that William would be able to take him. I had faith, at least. I believed in him. But, he’d challenged for Alpha. Did he challenge to get me back? Did he challenge to get me away from Romulus? Was it possible to do such a thing?

I had felt a deep hurt when Remus said that about William. Like being Alpha was more important to William than I was. But I didn’t know. I didn’t understand how this all worked, I couldn’t just assume that he didn’t care about me. My mind continued to spin in ever more dizzying circles of logic until I had driven myself to a state of paranoia.

Sometime later Romulus returned and though my gaze remained fixed on the nightlife below, I could hear them talk about me. It wasn’t as if they could or would hide it.

“She’s pining, Brother,” Remus said.

“So?”

“So, you need to talk to her. Fulfill your obligation to her as her sire. Jesus Romulus! What were you thinking turning her like that?”

“What? Seriously? You’re just pissed because for once I outsmarted you.” I didn’t have to turn, I didn’t have to go to the door of the room and look to know that Romulus had a malevolent smirk on his face, I could hear it plain as day.

Remus scoffed and there was a sharp slap as I imagined he threw up his hands and let them fall back against his denim clad thighs.

“That’s the trouble with you, you
don’t
think. You
never
think beyond the immediate Romulus. You never look at the big picture! Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” Remus shouted.

“You keep asking me that! Fuck, man! Yes! I know exactly what I’ve done. I took Alpha from our little brother, like taking candy from a fucking baby! What’s more, I took his bitch right out from under him too, and the cherry on top? I pissed all up in those fucking Hunter’s Cheerios by turning Mathias fucking Young’s daughter into one of
us!
Do you not see how much we’ve scored here?” Romulus sounded downright glib and it blew my mind. I chewed my bottom lip and felt a solid echo of unease that wasn’t just my own.

Remus made a sound of disgust and stalked off, “Try to get her to eat something,” he snarled at Romulus and a door slammed. I swallowed hard, suddenly very afraid of being left alone with the obviously crazier twin.

“Chloe?” Romulus called and I swallowed the bitter tang of fear.

“Yes?” I asked half-heartedly.

“Lucinda’s coming over. Fucking eat something and stay in there,” he called out.

“Okay,” I called back and glanced down at the plate of food that had grown cold at the foot of the bed. I turned back out the window and jumped when Romulus’ reflected hulking frame filled the doorway to the bedroom I was standing in. My heart leapt into my throat as I met his dark eyes in the night shrouded window glass. He trailed his eyes up and down the back of my body, letting his gaze linger a touch too long on my ass.

“Okay what?” he asked.

“O-okay, Sir?” I tried, and he laughed.

“No, bitch. I’m your daddy now,” he said and I felt bile surge into my throat as my stomach churned. I looked over my shoulder at him and stuttered a spastic nod.

“Say it,” he demanded, a cruel edge to his smile.

“Okay, Daddy,” I eked out, and I wanted to throw up.

“Fucking right,” he muttered and stepped out of the room, shutting the door firmly behind him. I let my fingertips trace the bite left by William and I closed my eyes, taking some comfort in the scar as the only thing I had to remind me of him.

I love you, William
. I thought into the ether, and rested my forehead against the cool window glass. “I’m sorry I never told you,” I whispered.

Chapter 15

William

“He can’t just mope around, he’s got to do something.”

“What is there for him to do? The challenge was issued and Rom has accepted even though he has no choice in the matter. He can’t turn down a challenge from William at this point, not without losing face and possibly his position as Alpha.”

“But he
isn’t
the Alpha yet! William could still beat him.”

“Nora, that’s what the challenge is about. If he defeats Rom in the challenge then he’ll be the new Alpha.”

“And his brother will be dead. And if he loses? Did you consider that when you suggested this lunatic idea to him, Markus? Because Romulus is older, stronger, tougher, generally harder to hurt and to kill and odds are that William
is
going to
lose!
”

“You do realize that he can hear you?” Markus asked calmly and I heard Sharon growl at him.

“He should hear me. He should be listening to me. And so should you! Has your old age finally caught up to you?” she demanded, and her voice raised, “You’re going to die, William! Do you hear me? You’re going to fucking die and then where will the rest of us be?” She kept talking but the rest of it was suddenly muffled and I could hear the sound of feet scuffing over the carpet in the hall, down the stairs and out the front door where her voice resumed screaming but far more muffled.

I was lying in my bed, so recently had it been occupied by Chloe that I swore I could almost feel her residual warmth on the bed beside me, but it was just my imagination. My fingers were linked together, hands behind my head and I stared listlessly up at the ceiling. My room had stopped smelling of sunlight and peaches a day or two ago, but if I closed my eyes and breathed in real slow and real deep…

“She isn’t entirely wrong, you know,” Markus said as he stood at the top step leading into my room. I had been a bit irate when I went upstairs the morning after the meeting. When Markus left I spent the rest of the night working on the tree in my shop and when I went upstairs I’d closed the door to the library so hard that the frame splintered and the door itself was left hanging from one hinge. When it had come time to leave I had simply ripped the door the rest of the way loose and tossed it aside where it still lay against the wall at the base of the spiral staircase.

“Thank you for the vote of confidence,” I muttered, the first words I had spoken in days actually. How long had I been laying there anyway? It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered without her.

“The man I saw four days ago I had some confidence in. I believed he could take Romulus and win the challenge. But you? You’re not that man anymore.”

“Same skin, same me,” I muttered and Markus sighed explosively.

“Look at yourself, Pup!” he snapped. “When was the last time you took a glance in a mirror? When was the last time you cleaned anything or picked up around here? Your place is turning into a dump and for a kid that I knew to be full on obsessive compulsive about keeping his place neat and tidy, that’s a pretty dramatic change for you.”

“What’s the point?” She wasn’t here… I couldn’t protect her. She was gone, although if she’d died I am sure Rom would have rubbed my nose in it by now. Markus let out an explosive sigh and tried again.

“Try looking at it from this perspective,” he said in a resigned tone. “If you lose, you die, and at least you didn’t leave a mess for someone else to pick up. But if you win, do you really want to bring Chloe back here for her to see how much of a wreck you were? Do you want the rest of the Pack to know that you fell apart? Even if you win the challenge they still might not accept you if you can’t even hold yourself together for two god damned weeks!”

His voice got louder as he went until the last few words were bellowed at full volume. “Right now I’m not sure
I
even want you as Alpha. Not unless you can pull your shit together. This is your only chance to save Chloe and the entire Pack right along with her. There are hundreds of people counting on you right now so you’d better pull your head out of your ass and stop your goddamned pining or a lot of people are going to get hurt.”

He was right.

They both were, he and Sharon.

I was going to die if I didn’t pull myself together, but I just didn’t have the motivation. I needed to find it though. As much as I hated to admit it, I needed to get my ass out of bed and go about my business. Handle my shit. Lying around and doing nothing wasn’t helping my girl. Shit. Wasn’t Chloe all the motivation I needed? I was suddenly starving.

“Come on, old dog,” I grumbled and pushed myself up to a sitting position. “I think we need to talk.”

He gave me a wary look and nodded but said nothing, perhaps afraid that if he spoke he would pop the bubble of motivation I had managed to scrape up from somewhere. And if that popped, who knew when I would get up again.