I Found My Friends (14 page)

Also, Nirvana never had to endure the grind of booking their own tours; their good fortune in finding Sub Pop set them a couple rungs up the ladder.

LISA KOENIG:
We got pretty well known as the three-piece all-girl band in the area. Then we recorded an album in Seattle and set out on a US tour that I pretty much booked myself. Now, remember, we had no cell phones back then, so we would have to physically use our index fingers to dial a number. And no … I'm not talking about a push-button number, I'm talking about a
rotary-dial number
. Just thinking about that makes me realize how much work went into everything back then … These were times where we had to send out tapes or singles to the clubs through the US mail and hope they actually made the effort to (1) open it, and (2) listen to it. Then you'd have to call back and basically beg them for a show for, if you're lucky, gas money and free beer. So, you've got to have appreciation for the good ol' days. It took work.

Cobain wondered once more about a second guitarist—Ben Shepherd of Soundgarden and J Mascis of Dinosaur Jr. were considered—but it was still a trio that set out for their second tour. At least there'd been time for the album to spread.

BILLY ALLETZHAUSER,
Grinch:
I remember borrowing
Bleach
and having a mix tape that had the first single. We all loved it. I wore out
Bleach
and was happy to be asked to open for them.

BRUCE PURKEY:
Even after
Bleach
, it seemed that they might be a moderately big indie band. Still, that wasn't saying much. Other bands like Hüsker Dü had received a bit of major-label push and still were barely known by the average person.

Nirvana was also developing sufficient chops such that the band could impress in scenes less open to punk-derived music.

JAIME ROBERT JOHNSON:
In Ann Arbor because of the Stooges/MC5 thing it was much harder to put a punk show together because so many of the people at the top of the musical food chain had already been rock stars and pretty much acted like royalty—except it was in that pathetic tiny small-town way—and honestly did not seem to give a fuck about what the punk, alternative, or hardcore punk kids wanted or needed for a long time. You had to be in with them to even get near a club gig of any kind, which for a seventeen- to eighteen-year-old homeless punk skater kid was impossible.

MIKE HARD:
Ann Arbor at the time was a Republican's wet dream, despite being known as the hippie-dippy mecca of the Midwest, but at one time Ann Arbor really did rock … The Blind Pig is one of those legendary two-hundred-seat showcases to see a band at. In Ann Arbor, Nirvana was all the buzz. This West Coast new sound. Tad had already been through. I think Mudhoney, too. So the crowd was well prepared for the next new thing from Sub Pop. But I guess Nirvana was not prepared for the home of the Stooges and may have decided to take the night off in this sleepy little college town … Their set started off kind of laid back and the crowd resented it, like a lot of Detroit-area rock fans are known to do … the audience started trying to encourage them to rock that great Seattle sound everyone was talking about. My friend said he started throwing plastic beer cups at them, then people were flicking cigarettes at them and yelling “You suck!” as well as some other traditional rock phrases of encouragement. A few songs into the set Nirvana finally realized this audience wasn't a bunch of Republican rich kids living in the dorms, or some leftover hippies from the hash bash. Nirvana was playing in the living room of the family who gave birth to punk rock … When Nirvana realized they were in for a fight, they fought back, watched and waited, grabbed each other's backs and proceeded to kick some punk-rock ass. They left their bodies and equipment onstage, wrecked.

Sub Pop's efforts had spread a sometimes-lurid portrait of the band; Nirvana said later it was exaggerated, but hearing that the wild men had come to town can't have hurt attendances.

TOM DARK:
I was told if they had a good show, they all threw their instruments in the air and trashed the stage, much like the Who. We did it, but not every time, it's just how we felt at the end of the show … When Nirvana went on, my mouth dropped. The sound/songs were so mind blowing. This was the first time ever seeing them play live, we knew there was something special about them. Krist had this painting of Elvis Presley with Alice Cooper makeup under his eyes right in front of his amp. I thought that was so cool!

BILLY ALLETZHAUSER:
They roared through the set the best they could. There was good energy. I remember Kurt having trouble with a pedal or something and was a bit frustrated. There was blood all over his guitar from his hands bleeding … Nothing was smashed except maybe that pedal that was crapping out. I remember Kurt not wanting to do an encore because of the gear and the other guys talking him into it.

FORREST,
24-7 Spyz:
I remember somebody from Nirvana's crew fighting with our guitar tech, Warren Tremeni, over stage space. We were in the back during their sound check and
boom
! The fight started! I never heard of them before that night so I didn't know their songs or set list but some of the kids did. I just remember the rawness and power of them and they were loud as hell … Spyz approached a live performance with great vigor! It was very active, innovative, energetic, and wild; we also are very good musicians and everyone knew that … Nirvana was the same with their raw approach and honesty [but] they had no
performance
. It was like four dudes pouring out their souls but it was dense and hard as hell. We were a very playful bunch; they seemed more laid back and local … The Outhouse in Lawrence, Kansas, was in the middle of a cornfield and it seemed like you couldn't see a house in miles [but] they had a
huge
college fan base there. That place was like drugs, drugs, drugs, with no police presence. It was
really
sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll. Hell
yeah
, that's
all
everybody was doing at the Outhouse. We were in the middle of
nowhere
! Now, me, I never took drugs in my life, but Nirvana was fucked
up
! It seemed like those students had every drug on and off the market. But not too much weed; it was, like, the hard stuff—heavy shit. College students back then were very brave. The music scene overall was heavy into drugs like they say [sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll] is true, man…!

Wild men, perhaps. Bedraggled ones? For sure.

MIKE MORASKY:
A couple of them had come down with something, maybe bronchitis? They all seemed tired and getting a small audience excited on an off night is tough even under the best of circumstances.

MIKE HARD:
Nirvana were very tired. They had to have been. Everyone in a band traveling across the US knows this. Sleeping on other people's floors or [at] a very occasional hotel. No one made money. We all played for free beer and some gas money … On the road, money is a huge distraction. If you made money, you did not have to live on free beer, table scraps, and handouts. Money was evil: you could buy friends who had drugs and other cheap distractions from the band and the road. When you got money, you start meeting boys and girls who are hungry and you become their meal ticket. Without money, you can drink all the free beer in the world and you're just going to puke up the free pizza or pass out. This was the Nirvana I first met. Playing shows for free beer and food. If you got a free place to stay after the show, it was considered a good gig.

CRAIG CRAWFORD:
Frankly, they seemed exhausted. They had been playing nonstop every night, touring in a little van with all their gear. West of the Mississippi River, travel times between cities are enormous, so getting from one gig to another can take a lot out of you. I remember them being friendly and pretty nice guys. They were frustrated by the turnout, but they played well and solidly. That being said, I don't think they were overjoyed about playing a biker bar in a rundown city in Nebraska … Back then you played for a percentage of the door receipts and you were lucky if you got even that. They were tired, broke and traveling in a van that probably needed much maintenance. It was really hard touring back then and it showed on them. Most bars didn't want bands like them. They wanted a band that played hit songs and looked good, which is why most bands on their initial tours played crap venues. The Lifticket was definitely not crap; it was a great dive bar who hosted tons of great bands over the years. It was always one of Henry Rollins's favorite stops when he went through town. That being said, it was also famous for large bikers refusing to pay cover charge because there was free pool inside.

BILLY ALLETZHAUSER:
I admired his [Kurt's] denim blazer that had a patch of the Thing on the back that said “It's Clobberin' Time,” and I refused to believe you could find something that cool in a thrift store.

It certainly wasn't as rough as the previous tour; there was more room in the van, more cash with one member gone, and more shows with relatively established bands.

MIKE MORASKY:
The Flaming Lips had already been touring for years and had a relatively large college following, so the shows with them were generally well attended. On the off nights, when it was just Nirvana and Steel Pole, the crowds were pretty small … this was, however, pretty typical for bands like ours visiting small towns for the first time.

Pavitt and Poneman's shrewd common sense was also on display. For a Denver show, Sub Pop's Denver band the Fluid were the headliners, giving Nirvana a good crowd.

MATT BISCHOFF,
The Fluid:
We had an excellent fan base in Denver and Nirvana was really coming on. Denver folks always dug the Seattle bands when they came through. I remember Kurt's distortion pedal was not working correctly at sound check; don't remember why, though. He came up with something by showtime, however, and they killed it.

MIKE MORASKY:
All three bands were represented by the same booking agency … Bulging Eye started picking up Sub Pop bands, including Nirvana, which is how they ended up joining us on that tour for some of those dates … After one of the shows we were staying at the promoter's apartment together and we were totally broke, as was often the case, but the Nirvana guys had a little bit of money (maybe a small “per diem” from Sub Pop?) and bought us a frozen pizza. Man, that was one great pizza!

Both the band's good vibes and Cobain's occasional moods were on display.

TOM DARK:
Krist and Chad talked to us a lot through the whole evening. Kurt was very shy and quiet; he hung out with our guitarist, who was my brother [Scott F. Eakin, RIP], who was very much like him. They both took off and hung out in our van, talking and playing guitar. Before we went on, Nirvana went out to do a radio interview and came back just in time as we hit the stage. They ran up to the front, raising their fists, screaming our band name, really giving us support, along with Peter Davis from
Your Flesh
magazine/Creature Booking.

BILLY ALLETZHAUSER:
While they were all nice, amiable guys, Kurt seemed further away somehow. It's almost like, when I picture talking with the other guys I can imagine their faces with a vivid crispness or clarity, where Kurt's seems more obscured in my memory. I just couldn't focus on him in the same way; he seemed kind of hidden. Maybe it was all the hair in his face, but I don't think so. He just didn't seem to be occupying the same space as the rest of us somehow, and I don't think that's me glorifying the memory.

RICK RIZZO:
They didn't seem inexperienced—they were definitely pretty sloppy … I remember being impressed by their energy and noticed that the crowd was definitely into them … They smashed stuff up pretty good at the end of their set. I had a tendency in those days to wreck things up and knock things down a bit. When we took the stage I remember the first thing I said was, “I guess we won't be smashing things up tonight—Nirvana already did a pretty good job of that.” It was a tough act to follow—I mean, how do you go on after that? They had blown the roof off. We did play a fun and energetic set, but damn … A couple weeks later, I noticed that I had the wrong notebook at home—I used to write in a spiral notebook—song lyrics, set lists, and such, and had it with me at shows. Instead, I had a similar notebook that wasn't mine. I always assumed it belonged to Kurt, but I have no proof. It's not like it said “property of…” on the inside flap. The only thing that I remember about it was that it had lyrics and drawings—one called “Fish Eye Man” sticks in my memory. Since it was a few weeks past the show, and the fact that the band wasn't the band of lore they are now, I stuck it with other stuff in the basement. Not long after that a flood wiped out all of my memorabilia and posters that I had saved—pages with bleeding ink and disintegrating paper.

Nirvana would later criticize the relatively one-dimensional sound of
Bleach
. They were increasingly proud to acknowledge the diversity of their tastes, even if it didn't necessarily show when live.

DOUG GILLARD:
I said, “Oh yeah, cool. You guys are from Seattle and Sub Pop, right?” Krist: “Yeah, but we're not like those other bands. We're more like the Beatles. Into more melodic stuff.” I said, “Wow, that's great actually” or something like that … it was pretty trashy, but exciting and full of energy. I didn't hear the Beatles that much in their sound that night, but their records all reflect that though.

LINDSEY THRASHER:
Whenever I'd hear “About a Girl,” I'd have to ask who it was. I never remembered. I think that was the only song that stood out from
Bleach
for me back then.