I Hope You Find Me (13 page)

My entire body was shaking so badly I didn’t
trust my legs to hold me so I went down to my knees and hugged Zoey
to my chest to calm us both, telling her over and over,
good
dog…good dog.

Connor locked the bolt on the suite door and
slowly crossed the room to me. Zoey approached him cautiously
before rolling onto her side so Connor could rub her belly. He
murmured to her in a soothing voice and when he looked up, he asked
if I was okay.

“Me? What about you?” I stared at his face,
where the bruise was already forming on his jaw. I reached up and
touched the spot gingerly. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. He barely grazed me.” He
tried to smile. He lifted his hand and his knuckles were swollen
and red.

“I’ll get you some ice.” I stood and went
into the kitchen, and wrapped a few ice cubes in a clean dish
towel. He had moved to the sofa and Zoey had followed him. She
looked at me anxiously when I approached them with the makeshift
ice-pack. I held the towel to his face first and he winced.

“Matt’s a jerk.” I said to him, as I examined
his knuckles with my free hand.

“He’s dangerous.” He looked at me.

I moved the towel to his hand. “Maybe.”

“There’s nothing stopping anyone from doing
or taking what they want now.” He paused, waiting for me to make
eye contact. “You understand what that means for you, right? As a
woman?”

“I’m a big girl Connor; I can take care of
myself.”

“If it was just you and him in a locked room,
would you really believe that?” He sounded angry.

I sat back on my heels and looked up at the
ceiling, feeling the alcohol buzz through me like a live wire. “We
should get some sleep.” I let go of the towel and stood up. I
walked to my room with Zoey at my feet and shut the door behind me
quietly and I sat on the edge of the bed. A short time later I
heard Connor’s door close loudly. I pulled my shirt over my head
and stepped out of my jeans and went into the bathroom to wash my
face before retreating to the bed and crawling under the
covers.

***

Connor sighed and rolled across the bed and
peered into the darkness of the room, wondering if Riley was asleep
or lying awake as he was. He could hear a low humming sound beyond
the closed door, coming from the kitchen area…the fridge, he
supposed. The rest of the suite was silent. The air still felt
heavy from tension, and it was unusually cold.

He grimaced when he shoved his hand under
the pillow, the swelling around his knuckles made it hard to close
his hand. He felt like an idiot. Fighting over a girl he couldn’t
claim as his own. The night had been so cheerful for all of them,
and he had to blow it by letting that ass get under his skin. Even
now, the memory of Matt’s hand on her back, the way he looked at
her and watched her, it threatened to unhinge his every nerve. He
couldn’t stand the sight of him touching her.

Twice, he threw the blankets off and got out
of bed, intending on marching into her room to apologize for the
way the night ended but both times he turned around and tumbled
back onto the mattress, not sure he could apologize for hitting
Matt, because for that, he definitely wasn’t sorry.

He caught the fleeting looks Riley made his
way during the night when Mariah got too close. Mariah was nice to
him, and a bit touchy-feely, but he wasn’t interested in her, so
all he did was smile at her advances. All night he wanted to pull
Riley aside and tell her that but she was never alone. Matt hovered
around her the whole damn night, like a vulture, waiting to make
his move, even though it was obvious he made her uncomfortable.
Matt thrived on attention, and if Riley didn’t give him any, he
took it by putting her on the spot, or touching her every chance he
got. The guy was a douche. He tried to push Matt out of his mind
and for a moment that left room for only Riley.

He struggled with his sheets as they
threatened to strangle him and he ended up face down under his
pillows, cursing at the World for its apparent disdain for him. His
life was stripped away from him, leaving only an empty shell
version behind. And then Riley came and he didn’t know what to do.
It wasn’t just about being lonely. He didn’t want to ruin what very
slim and unlikely chance he had with her but in such a short time
she had begun to fill his thoughts completely, consuming the
darkness that haunted him, pushing it away and replacing it
with…light. She radiated. He didn’t know how to tell her that, or
if she was ready to hear it from him.

Part of him was thankful for Mariah, because
after her arrival he knew for sure how he felt about Riley. He felt
nothing for Mariah. She was young, she was pretty and she was
interested in him, she all but said it, but it only made him want
Riley more.

He tortured himself with these thoughts as
he laid face down in bed on the side that wasn’t bruised, and the
last thing he remembered was the feeling of waking up outside by
the pool with Riley asleep on his chest, how her arms were tucked
up against his stomach, her knees resting on his leg. It felt
amazing to hold her like that. He loved the feel of her perfectly
shaped body next to his, and the faint lemony smell of her wavy
blonde hair that mixed perfectly with the subtle coconut fragrance
of her skin.

That was the image he had in his mind when
she came into his room in the middle of the night. At first, when
he saw her outline, sitting next to him on his own bed he thought
he was still dreaming, but she was real when he touched her. She
was real when her lips brushed softly against his and he wanted
nothing but to hold her again.

***

The room was dark and cold and smelled
faintly of smoke. No matter how far down under the blankets I went,
I couldn’t get warm. I wondered if Connor was asleep yet, and
thought about what he said. It was absolutely true. Things were
different. Any people we met, we couldn’t trust based on appearance
alone. It was every man for himself. I wondered what it would have
been like if I had run into Matt in the city. I was lucky to have
found Connor first.

Eventually I kicked the covers off and
wrapped myself loosely in the bathrobe. I opened my door to see
darkness all around the suite. I quietly crossed the room and stood
at Connor’s door, listening for any movement or sounds within. When
I opened it slowly and peeked inside, his room was just as dark as
mine was, but I could see his form in the bed.

“
Connor?
” I whispered.

When he didn’t answer I moved deeper into the
room and carefully climbed on top of the bed. His back was to me,
and his head was buried underneath his pillow. I crawled to the
middle of his bed and touched his shoulder with my hand. His body
jerked and he sprang upright, startling me.

“I’m sorry.” I said in a hushed voice. “I
didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Are you okay?” He asked, groggy with sleep,
dragging his hand through his hair. It was a gesture I could watch
him do over and over again and never get tired of.

“Yes, I’m fine. It’s stupid.” I paused,
suddenly embarrassed. “I couldn’t sleep.” I hesitated before
saying, “I just wanted to say thanks - for earlier.”

When he didn’t say anything I began to move
away from him, certain that I shouldn’t be there, sitting on his
bed in the middle of the night, but then he reached out and
clutched a handful of my sleeve. His hand moved up my arm and down
the front fold of my robe as he tugged me closer to him.

Our faces were inches apart. I spoke just
above a whisper when I repeated, “
I didn’t mean to wake
you
.”

“
You already said that
,” he whispered
back.

“Sorry,” I laughed softly.

“You already said that too,” he teased.

I smiled, even though it was dark and he
probably couldn’t see much of my face. I felt his palm move across
my collarbone, just inside the opening of my robe and a soft gasp
escaped my lips. His hand slid across my bra strap and grazed up my
neck and he ran his fingers along my jaw, slowly tracing the
outline of my mouth. I leaned into him and touched my lips to his.
Connor’s hands wrapped tightly around me, pulling me in to his
chest and I nuzzled my face into his neck.

We sat in the center of his bed until the
heat from our touching bodies wasn’t enough to warm us anymore.
Connor pulled his shirt over his head and handed it to me and I
slipped the robe off my bare shoulders and wiggled into his cotton
shirt. We slid under the covers together and I pressed my body
against his and let him hold me close. We stretched out onto our
sides facing each other, with one of his arms tucked under the
pillow, the other draped naturally around my waist. My head rested
just below his chin and our legs became enmeshed together. The
feeling of his thighs pressed against mine was thrilling, and oddly
comforting.

I closed my eyes and listened to Connor’s
steady breathing and felt the thudding of his heart in his chest. I
drew in his aroma, his clean, fresh masculine scent. I wanted to
stamp his smell into my memory; it was refreshing but also
calming.

“
Can I stay with you all night?
” I
murmured into his bare chest.

He whispered into my hair, “
I’m not
letting go
.”

***

When they had settled under the covers,
Connor felt the contours of her body relax and mold into his, and
he felt whole beside her. She had one arm around him, and it rested
in between his shoulder blades so that when he breathed, he felt
the pressure of her hand rise and fall slightly on his back. She
curled her bare legs around his and buried her feet into his
flannel pajama pants.

Her soft skin felt perfect as he ran his
hand gently from her neck, down her spine and over her hips. When
she sighed, the fullness of her breasts pressed into his ribcage
and he draped his arm around her waist, holding her to him.
Finally, he could hold her the way he imagined so many times since
he met her. He tightened his embrace when she asked if she could
stay with him. And when dawn finally rose, they were still nestled
in each other’s arms, sound asleep.

CHAPTER EIGHT

When morning came, it wasn’t the sunshine
filtering through the gaps in the curtains that woke me; it was the
continuous drumming of rain drops pelting the window panes. I
opened my eyes and a shiny sea of sateen white sheets started at my
nose and flowed down the length of the bed. I knew I wasn’t in my
room and after blinking at the foreign set of sheets with their
matching duvet cover, I tilted my head upwards and the silky fabric
slid off my mouth, cascading delicately down my neck. I was lying
on Connor’s bare chest, and he was asleep, on his back, with his
face tilted towards mine. I gazed up at him, and took in every
detail of his neck, his full mouth, his nose and his long dark
eyelashes. They fluttered delicately and a gentle sigh escaped from
between his lips. I was afraid to breathe for fear that I’d wake
him, he looked completely peaceful.

I continued to visually inspect the curves of
his upper body, starting from his neck, where I could see his pulse
beating steadily under the skin just below his ear to the hollowed
space between his collar bones. My eyes traveled along his pectoral
muscles, pausing to take in the perfect roundness of one of his
nipples. Below my left hand I could feel the edge of his ribcage
and I lightly slid my palm down to his navel and rested it there.
His chest lifted slightly below my cheek and I glanced up at him.
His pale blue eyes blinked sleepily at me.

I leaned my hips into his and shifted so that
I could prop both my arms on his chest. We smiled at each other as
his hand slipped up the back of my shirt.

“Morning,” he said with a grin.

“Hi,” I replied with a giggle as his fingers
tickled their way teasingly up my spine. When his hand reached the
back of my neck he gently squeezed and then buried his fingertips
into my hair. I felt the muscles in his abs flex and tighten as he
leaned his head down to me and kissed the end of my nose.

Zoey ruined the moment when she jumped onto
the bed at our sides and began licking every exposed limb she could
find. We groaned and shivered as the blankets slid off our bodies
and scolded the dog good-naturedly as she climbed across our heads
and attempted to bury herself underneath the pillows. Her wagging
tail hit the padded headboard with a rhythmic whacking sound and I
rolled off Connor onto my knees after I told her I got the
hint.

Connor sat up and grabbed my hips and said
playfully, “You’re not getting up yet.”

“No?” I teased.

“Not without this.” He murmured as his
fingers stroked my face and his hand darted up my shirt again. He
leaned into me and crushed his lips to mine, kissing me deeply and
leaving me breathless.

***

By the time we emerged from the room, the
persistent rain had turned into a full blown thunderstorm, and each
time the sky boomed the dog yelped and circled the suite nervously.
We opened the windows, pushing the heavy fabric aside to reveal an
angry sky, full of pregnant clouds that were continuously punctured
by the sharp bursts of crooked lightening, releasing a torrential
downpour on the city below. I loved thunderstorms, we had them
rarely, but witnessing one twenty floors above the ground was
overwhelming. I watched from behind the thick glass as nature
lashed out all around us. The wind howled and buffeted the building
and the temperature inside felt as if it had dropped to just above
freezing. I shivered in my robe, even with Connor’s shirt and a
spare pair of his pajama pants on, I was cold.