I Only Have Eyes For You (18 page)

The word
fantasy
should have filled the room with sexual tension again, but Jake had just realized what an idiot he was, just like she’d said the day before. He should have asked her anything else—about her family, or hobbies, or favorite food. Not books.

When she was in his arms he temporarily forgot the differences between them. That she’d gone to Stanford and he’d barely eked out a high school diploma from sweet-talking his female teachers into not flunking him.

Of course he wanted to know more about her. He couldn’t spend this much time with her and not want that. But hearing about her love of books only served to remind him of the unbridgeable gap between them.

“I can’t believe I’ve never asked you what your favorite book is.” She grinned at him. “I’ve asked pretty much everyone I’ve ever met.”

Jake moved her off his lap. “You probably need to get ready for work soon, don’t you?”

She frowned at his abrupt personality change. “In about an hour.”

Acting like he didn’t realize he was being a dick, he purposely turned his back on her and headed over to the pile of work he’d been sweating over before she woke up. “Let me know when you need me to drive you in.”

The loud scrape of the bar stool’s legs across the wood floor came a beat before Sophie said, “Is that really all this is to you? It’s okay to have great sex all the time, but whenever I try to talk to you about
anything at all
, even something as ridiculously easy as your favorite book, you get to walk away without answering? How can you even think of marrying me if we’re going to be strangers everywhere but in bed?” Hurt vibrated from her every word.

All he wanted was to make her happy…but he didn’t have the first clue how to do that.

“I refuse to have a life like that. What’s the point of going through the motions for a few more days when it isn’t going to change anything?”

She fled to the bedroom. Before she could slam the door on him, he shoved his shoulder inside and grabbed her hand. She’d been the one who just said she couldn’t stand the way he shut her out, but couldn’t she see that if she ran from him, if she closed off her heart to him, he’d be the one who'd end up utterly destroyed?

“Call the library. Tell them you’re taking the day off.”

She looked at him like he was certifiably insane. “What are you talking about? Why on earth would I do that?”

She tried to push out of his arms and he didn’t want to let her go, but he knew it would be worse if he didn’t. Damn it, he didn’t mean to keep bossing her around. He was supposed to be using these seven days to woo her, not give her even more reasons to stay the hell away from him. But desperation to keep her near clawed at him, made it hard for him to clear his mind so that he could do the right thing for once.

“I want to spend the day with you.”

Emotion flashed in her eyes and he prayed it was the renewal of hope, of the way she’d once felt about him. But all she said again was, “Why?”

“To give me the chance to prove to you that we’ve got more in common than sex.”

“Jake, I don’t think—”

He gritted his teeth and made himself say, “Agree to come and I won’t touch you again today.” Even though it was going to kill him not to. His chest clenched as he watched her consider his desperate request, and he knew he hadn’t yet said the one thing he needed to say. “Please.”

Chapter Seventeen

How had Jake known one of her favorite things to do was ride the cable cars?

Sophie couldn’t help but smile as wind rushed through her hair. A child walking hand in hand with her mother down the sidewalk waved, and Sophie waved back.

The fact that he wanted to spend the entire day with her was surprising enough. But she hadn’t expected him to head to Ghirardelli Square to buy two tickets for the most touristy thing in all of San Francisco...or to hold her hand the entire time.

She was still wary of letting herself trust him again after the way he’d pushed her away that morning, but she couldn’t stand seeing him still looking so tense as he stood beside her. Ever since she’d threatened to end their seven days early, that muscle in his jaw had been jumping.

She tugged on his hand so that he’d look at her. “It’s been way too long since I’ve treated myself to a cable car ride.” She smiled at him. “Thank you.”

She was glad to see some of the tension fade in his shoulders. “Whenever I see one I always think of you.”

Surprise stole her breath at the same time that the cable car bumped over the road, tossing her straight into Jake’s arms. God, she loved being there, always felt so safe when he was holding onto her.

She looked up into his beautiful face. “How did you know I liked cable cars?”

“You’ve always been important to me, Sophie.”

His simple statement sent sparks of joy shooting through her system. Oh, it would be so easy to give in to them, but painful experience where Jake was concerned had her moving from the circle of his arms and saying, “Sometimes I forget you practically grew up with me, my brothers, and Lori.”

Rather than letting her go, Jake tugged her close again. “I spent a lot of time at your house. But don’t try to tell yourself I didn’t pay extra attention to you when I did.”

He had?

He cursed from out of the blue and released his hold on her so that cold air rushed between them, instantly chilling her. “I promised not to touch you.”

Sophie hated that promise. After so many years of not being able to touch Jake, then finally being allowed to give in to those powerful urges to be physically affectionate with him, it nearly killed her not to move back into his arms and kiss him the way she had over the past twenty-four hours.

But she knew why he’d made her that promise. It was too easy to get lost in the sensual sparks that always lit between them, so much easier than making sure they built a true connection, a real bond that would withstand the test of twins...and a possible life together as husband and wife.

Still, when he tried to let go of her hand, she refused to let him. She wouldn’t give that up, too. Not when it felt so right. Not when holding his hand was almost better than having sex with him.

Her body all but laughed at that thought, and she silently acknowledged that there was very little in life that was better than having sex with Jake McCann.

Just then, the conductor announced they were heading into Chinatown and her stomach immediately answered the news with a loud grumble that carried even over the sound of the cable car rattling down its tracks.

She grinned at Jake. “I think our kids like Chinese food.”

* * *

Our kids.

The two little words reverberated through Jake’s chest, holding steady in the center where his heart was beating too fast.

He should have made sure she ate more for breakfast. But instead of putting her needs first, he’d been too busy roughly taking her on the kitchen stool, then pushing her away as soon as they were done.

When the cable car stopped at the next light, he jumped down and reached for her. It didn’t count as touching her if he had to make sure she got to the ground safely...even if he held on to her waist a few seconds longer than he needed to.

He was surprised when Sophie took his hand and started leading the way. “I know a place that has the best
cha sui bao
.”

“Chasu-what?”

He loved the sound of her laughter. “You’ll see.” She shot him a happy glance over her shoulder. “I promise you won’t be disappointed.”

Thank God she was back to her normal self, smiling and happy. Every time he did or said something to extinguish that joy in her eyes, he hated himself more and more. It was one of the reasons he’d stayed away from her as long as he had...because he’d known he would hurt her.

He hadn’t spent much time in this part of Chinatown, where the tourists were. The parts he knew were the back alleys where the gangs came together. He hadn’t rolled with that crowd since high school, but he still recognized the route through the narrow alleys. So when Sophie headed off the main street and started to turn down one of them, he had to stop her.

“There are plenty of places to eat on this street.”

“None as good as the one I’m taking you to,” she replied, clearly not understanding his concern.

Jake knew he’d spent too much of their time together dictating what she could and couldn’t do. And she clearly wanted to take him to one particular place. So he let her lead them down alleys and back roads, keeping especially close to her, even though he couldn’t understand how perfect little Sophie Sullivan knew her way around this part of the neighborhood.

Finally, she stopped in front of a bright red door and smiled at him. “We’re here.”

She pushed through the door and he saw that it was a bakery, more industrial than meant to serve customers.

A very thin, clearly exhausted middle-aged man looked up with a huge smile. “Miss Sophie!”

She let go of Jake’s hand to give the man a hug. “Mr. Chu, I hope you don’t mind us dropping by like this. Jake and I were in the neighborhood and I couldn’t focus on anything but eating one of your steamed pork buns.”

Jake knew exactly why the man looked so pleased. Sophie had always had that effect on people.

She looked over his shoulder at the kitchen behind him. “I hope we’re not too late. I know how early you sell out.”

But the man was already clearing off the small white plastic table in the corner, holding out the seat for Sophie as if she really were a princess. Jake shook the man’s hand and as he introduced himself, he knew what the guy was thinking as he studied him with narrowed eyes.

“You own those Irish pubs.”

He nodded, saying, “I do,” while making sure Mr. Chu heard what he was really saying:
I know I’m not good enough for her, but since I can’t let her go, I’m going to do my damnedest to take care of her.

Mr. Chu studied him before nodding once and disappearing into the back.

“What was that all about?” Sophie asked.

Jake shrugged as he put a stack of magazines on the floor and sat on the other chair. “How do you know this place?”

Before she could answer, Mr. Chu was back with tea. “How is Stanley’s freshman year going?” she asked him.

“Good. Although he says none of the girls there are as pretty as his tutor.”

She laughed out loud at that. “Let him know I miss him, too.” She was still smiling as he moved back into the kitchen. “Stanley always was the world’s biggest flirt.”

Jake knew it was crazy to be jealous of an eighteen-year-old, but just because it was crazy didn’t mean he didn’t feel it. Especially when he thought about the fact that she must have spent plenty of time alone with the kid if she’d been tutoring him.

“You have a full-time job. When do you have time to tutor kids?”

She blew the steam off her cup of tea. “Free time is overrated. I’d much rather be doing something I enjoy with people.”

Now he knew why he’d liked his tutor, Mrs. Springs, so much. It wasn’t just because she’d been the only one he hadn’t been able to scare away. It was because she’d reminded him of Sophie. Gentle, but with a spine of steel beneath that soft exterior.

“Besides,” she said, “ it's really all about my secret mission.” She propped her elbows on the table and put her face in her hands. “I want everyone to love books as much as I do.”

She was so beautiful, so pure, his chest clenched tight as he looked at her across the small table, knowing how badly he was going to disappoint her.

He might not be illiterate anymore, but books would never be fun.

And he would never love them.

Mr. Chu brought over a plate of steaming pork buns, then left them alone again. Sophie broke off a piece and held it out to Jake. “Here, you should have the first taste.”

Thanking God that he’d never needed books to know how to give a woman pleasure, he wrapped his hand around her wrist to hold her hand steady as he put his lips around the food. He let his teeth graze her skin as he did so and was rewarded by the desire that lit her eyes.

“Good, isn’t it?” she asked in a slightly husky voice.

“Give me another taste, princess.”

She had to know what he was doing, that he was playing outside the rulebook by touching her when he’d promised not to. But a moment later, she was back with another piece of the pork bun. Again, he made her part of their snack.

“Yes,” he told her after he finally made himself let go of her hand, “it’s very good.” He slid the plate away from her and broke off a piece. “Your turn now.”

She flushed, but didn’t hesitate to open her mouth. At first he thought she was only going to take the food, but at the very last second her tongue came out to curl over his fingertip.

He barely bit back a groan. Why the hell had he made that stupid promise not to touch her?

* * *

Sophie felt happier than she had in a very, very long time. Just being with Jake, slowly walking hand in hand through downtown San Francisco, was better than any of the fancy evenings out she’d had with the men she’d dated before him.

Not, she supposed, that they were technically dating. No, they’d skipped right past that part, hadn’t they? From one kiss to twins-on-the-way so quickly it made her head spin.

She was glad he’d insisted on this day together, on wanting to prove to her that they were compatible outside of the bedroom. She flushed as she realized they’d had sex in far more places than the bedroom.

Still, she couldn’t shake the sense that the tenuous connection she and Jake had been forging with one another had broken slightly when they’d been at the bakery in Chinatown. Something kept coming between them and she wished she knew what it was, wished that he would open up and tell her.

But she’d known Jake long enough to understand what would happen if she pushed too hard too fast. He’d shut down completely...and it would break her heart to lose him just when it looked like they might have a chance of making things work.

Her newly overactive bladder had her stopping in front of a Starbucks. “Nature’s calling. I’ll be right back,” she told him, leaving him standing out on the sidewalk while she went to go wait in the surprisingly long line inside.