I Will Always Love You (29 page)

The doorman nodded and waved them through to the elevator bank on the other side of the palatial marble lobby. A large Christmas
tree was set up in the corner and the air smelled like pine and nutmeg.

Jenny caught her breath, trying to hold in her excitement. She and Nate lived in a ramshackle two-story house in Providence.
He was at Brown, she was at RISD, and everything almost seemed too good to be true, beyond her wildest high school daydreams.
But going to a fancy pre-Christmas dinner thrown by a New York society hostess proved that their relationship existed beyond
Providence, that they were really and truly together.

After leaving Newport last Christmas, they’d sailed to Mt. Desert Island and camped out in Nate’s family’s gorgeous unwinterized
summer home. They toasted the New Year on a blanket in front of the fire. It was impossibly romantic. Then, her last semester
at Waverly they’d talked every night on the phone. They spent the summer sailing and house hunting in Providence. So far,
living together had been amazing. She loved waking up to Nate. She loved brewing an extra-large pot of coffee and pouring
a travel mug for him so he could drink it during his 9 a.m. poli-sci class. She loved texting him in between portraiture and
her Art in New Media class, and she loved attempting to make dinner for them, even though most of the time they wound up just
ordering in and eating in bed.

The elevator glided up to the top floor, and they followed the merry voices and jazzy sound of Miles Davis to the door at
the end of the hall. Nate pushed it open and Jenny breathed in again. In a New York in History and Literature class she’d
taken last year at Waverly, they’d discussed the importance of the Four Hundred—the prominent New Yorkers who could comfortably
fit into Mrs. Astor’s grand ballroom circa 1880. Walking into the large living room of Eleanor Waldorf’s Central Park West
penthouse made her feel like she was part of the new Four Hundred—the New Yorkers who really mattered.

“Nathaniel!” A woman with gold highlights approached them. “Blair will be so thrilled to see you. Everyone is just getting
seated. I put you in between Blair and Serena.”

Mothers.

“Oh.” A shadow of a frown crossed the woman’s face as she noticed Jenny standing by Nate’s side.

Jenny blushed. Had she done something wrong? “Hello,” she said.

“I’m Eleanor Waldorf,” Blair’s mother replied, looking at Jenny’s thrust-out hand without shaking it. Jenny let her hand fall
slack against her side.

“Jenny’s my girlfriend. We’re both in Providence for school,” Nate explained. Behind Eleanor’s shoulder, he glimpsed Blair
and Serena making their way to the table. He could only see their backs, but Serena’s hair was blonder than ever while Blair’s
chestnut hair was loose and long, hanging down to her shoulder blades.

“Lovely. Well, I’ll set up another seat.” Eleanor gestured toward the large dining room.

“Natie!” Serena grinned when she spotted her old friend making his way toward them, Jenny Humphrey clinging to his hand. Nate
looked the same as ever, clad in a Brooks Brothers jacket, neat dress pants, and a kelly green Hermès tie. “And Jenny.”

“Nate,” Blair said, nodding. She turned to the beak-nosed man seated next to her, as if they were engaged in a very important
conversation she just had to continue.

“Hey,” Nate mumbled, unsure of whether or not he should sit. There was only one seat available, right in between them. Of
course, he’d known Blair and Serena would be here, but it still took his breath away to see them. They both looked so grown-up.
Blair wore a sexy black-and-tan halter dress, Serena a tight red dress that hugged her body. Seeing them, so secure and confident
and beautiful, momentarily made him flustered. It would’ve been nice to have smoked a large bowl before coming here. He rarely
smoked pot anymore, but he often missed it. Especially when he was stressed out. And this was the most stressed out he’d been
since…

Last Christmas?

Jenny tugged his arm. “I’ll sit on your lap for now!” she announced, giggling. Against his better judgment, Nate sat on the
chair and Jenny slid onto his knees, wiggling back and forth until she found a comfortable perch.

Serena rolled her eyes good-naturedly as she took a swig of her wine. “I would have brought Dan, but I didn’t know he was
invited.”

“Oops,” Jenny squeaked nervously. Her curly dark hair was right underneath Nate’s chin, and Nate could smell her lilac-scented
shampoo. It reminded him of taking showers together. But instead of picturing Jenny in the shower, an image of Blair popped
into his head. Nate squeezed his eyes shut to block out those memories, concentrating only on the feel of Jenny resting on his lap.

“Wine?” a white-shirted server asked behind Nate’s shoulder, proffering a bottle of vintage 1981 L’Evangeline Bordeaux.

“Meow Meow?” Nate asked before picking up Jenny’s glass. Jenny nodded her consent. As the waiter poured, Nate nuzzled Jenny’s
dark curls with his nose.

Serena shot Blair a horrified glance, surprised to find Blair’s face contorted into an equally horrified grimace. Meow Meow?

Just then, Jenny felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Jennifer?” She whirled around and found Eleanor Waldorf frowning at her in annoyance. For a second, she felt like an awkward
ninth grader, caught by Mrs. McLean for gossiping in the hallway when she was supposed to be in class. “If you don’t mind,
I’m going to move you over to the other end of the table. There’s a bit more space for you down there,” Eleanor said. Even
after three years in LA, which had a looser social code than New York, it was clear Eleanor Waldorf was uncomfortable with
public displays of affection at the table.

Can you blame her?

Jenny meekly slid off Nate’s lap and followed Eleanor to a seat next to a shaggy-haired guy about her age. She glanced down
the length of the table, where Nate was staring into his glass of wine, looking lonely. She sighed unhappily. Now they were
separated.

Calm down, Juliet. It’s just dinner.

“Hey. You’re Jenny, right?” the boy next to her asked.

Jenny nodded, even though she had no idea who he was.

“Didn’t you go to some boarding school?” he continued, brushing his shaggy bangs out of his large brown eyes.

“Yeah, I went to Waverly, but now I’m at RISD,” Jenny said distractedly, watching Nate awkwardly make conversation across
the table with Blair’s chubby, red-faced stepfather.

“I’m Tyler,” he told her. “Blair’s brother.”

“Nice to meet you.” Jenny nodded. “Are you in school?” she asked to be polite.

“Nah.” He shook his head. “I graduated a year early back in LA. I’m just DJ’ing around town for the next couple of months.”
He shrugged.

“Oh,” Jenny murmured. She was dimly aware that before meeting Nate, she would have been ridiculously attracted to Tyler. Delaying
college to DJ sounded so cool and downtown. But at the end of the table was Nate scraping his chair back and heading toward
her. Her heart skipped a beat. The only good thing about being separated, even if it was only for five minutes, was how amazing it felt when they saw each other again.

“You holding up, Meow?” Nate asked sweetly before turning to Tyler. “How are you, man?” he asked, clapping him on the back.

Jenny smiled up at Nate. “Meow!” she purred goofily, not caring who heard her. After all, they were in love. People as in
love as they were spoke a language all their own. So what if no one else could understand.

M-ew, m-ew.

great minds think alike

Blair poked at the gelatinous duck confit on her plate. She couldn’t wait until Chuck got back to New York tomorrow. It was
torture being at her mom’s dinner party without a date—especially now that she had to witness Nate and Jenny together. Not
like she was jealous, it was just… nauseating.

“Meow?” Blair felt someone’s breath tickle her ear. She turned to see Serena, her fingers curved toward Blair like claws.

“Hey, Meow Meow,” Blair reciprocated, giggling. At least she had someone else to talk to besides Dick Cashman, the cowboy
hat–wearing associate of her stepfather’s seated on her right. Blair watched as Nate, hovering over Jenny, took a forkful
of asparagus from her plate and popped it in her mouth, making little choo-choo noises as if she were a baby. “Are they for
real?” Blair shook her head in disbelief.

Serena wrinkled her nose. “What would you do if Chuck started feeding you in public?”

“Stab him with a fork?” Blair guessed. She was all for being pampered by her boyfriend, but that meant him opening doors or
massaging her shoulders, not treating her like an infant or demented prisoner who couldn’t be trusted with utensils.

Serena giggled as Nate fed Jenny another bite. “Well, she’s young.”

“She’s not that young,” Blair scoffed. After all, Jenny Humphrey was a freshman in college. When Blair had been a freshman, she’d practically
turned down a marriage proposal.

“Well, whatever, she has time,” Serena said loyally, draining her glass of wine. She put her knife and fork to the side of
her plate. It was nice that she and Blair were talking like normal people. In fact, it was just nice to be talking to someone
who wasn’t Dan. Every Thursday after her Madness and Literature class, she’d take the train into the city and she and Dan
would stay holed up in his tiny bedroom until Sunday evening, venturing out only to Lincoln Plaza to see a movie or to the
diner on the corner for breakfast. She loved Dan and loved spending time with him, but she sometimes felt they were missing
out on something.

Um, like, life?

“Actually, it is kind of weird,” Serena decided, watching the way Jenny was gazing adoringly up at Nate. She wasn’t annoyed
to see Nate with Jenny—in a weird way, it made sense. But she did care that Jenny was getting so caught up with playing house when she still had all of college in front of her, and that Nate
didn’t seem interested in anything besides taking care of Jenny.

Blair gazed at her little brother, Tyler, across the room. He was sixteen, and had grown up from being a weirdo little Cameron
Crowe–obsessed kid to kind of a cool guy. A smile played on her lips.

“What are you thinking?” Serena nervously chewed her bottom lip. With Blair, you never knew.

Behind them, the servers cleared their plates away, making room for the dessert course. “Tyler doesn’t have a girlfriend,”
Blair began.

Tyler was cute. He was skinny, with shaggy hair, and looked like the downtown DJ he was, Serena thought. And he was a really good kid.

“I’ll have Tyler e-mail her and invite her to one of his events,” Blair announced. “He needs a girlfriend. He sometimes turns
his dirty socks inside out and then wears them, because he thinks that means they’re clean.”

Serena burst into laughter. “Dan used to do that, too!” she squealed.

Dick Cashman peered over at the two girls. “Can you little ladies let me in on the joke? Sounds like a good one!”

“Meow meow,” Blair responded, choking on her wine.

Serena spat her wine onto her plate. It was exactly like those times when they used to ride the Madison Avenue bus, speaking
to each other in fake foreign languages and annoying everyone on the bus.

“We have to be excused,” she gasped between snorts, dragging Blair out onto the terrace.

“Oh my God, I haven’t had this much fun in months!” Serena yelled. She tried to remember why she’d been so angry at Blair last year. Why had Nate been so important to both
of them? Why had they dropped the most important relationship of their lives: them?

“To us!” Blair said, holding out her wine glass, as if reading Serena’s mind. The two girls clinked glasses in the crisp night
air.

We’ll see how long this peace treaty lasts….

good things come in small packages

Vanessa pulled on her leather bomber jacket, bracing herself to leave the house. The idea of staying in was incredibly tempting,
especially since she had the Humphreys’ apartment all to herself: Dan was at some fancy Welcome to Iowa reception at the Metropolitan
Club, Jenny was out with her boyfriend, and Rufus was celebrating an early Christmas with his anarchist group at the KGB Bar
downtown.

Although she’d been living in the Humphrey apartment for almost a year, she rarely spent the night, especially on the weekends
when Dan and Serena were cozied up in his bedroom. Instead, she’d crash with film school friends in their overcrowded Crown
Heights or Greenpoint apartments, or offer babysitting for Moxie in exchange for couch space at Ruby and Piotr’s apartment
in Prospect Heights.

Vanessa grabbed her purse from the couch and headed for the door. She was going to see Hollis’s film, Rowing to Reykjavík. She and Hollis hadn’t really talked since last year, although they’d seen each other at parties and always said hello. She
felt like she owed it to him—and to herself—to at least see the movie. She was curious to see how the story, which had started
out as her life story and quickly became the furthest thing from it, would end.

She flung open the apartment door and came face-to-face with a man wearing a brown uniform, an envelope in his hand. “Looking
for a Vanessa Abrams? You’re my last delivery. Glad you’re here,” he said. Vanessa nodded in confusion.

“Here you go.” He thrust a thin envelope at her. Vanessa took it with trembling hands. Suddenly, she realized exactly what
she was holding. Back in November, she’d applied for a two-year film fellowship in Indonesia. She hadn’t realized they’d be
mailing decisions so soon.

“Thanks.” She wasn’t sure if she should open it right away or wait. But what was she waiting for? And would they really UPS
a rejection?

“Can you sign?” the deliveryman asked impatiently, oblivious to Vanessa’s internal turmoil.

“Oh, sure.” Vanessa hastily scrawled a signature and yanked the envelope open.

“Happy holidays,” the delivery guy said as he turned away. But Vanessa wasn’t listening. She pulled a packet of papers from
the envelope. A single sheet fell out and fluttered to the hardwood floor. Vanessa grabbed it, noting the purple Filmmakers for Change crest at the top of the page and read the first sentence: Dear Ms. Abrams, We are pleased to offer you a Filmmaker for Change grant for your proposed project in Indonesia.…