I Wish... (10 page)

A blinding pain erupted behind my eyes. I grabbed my head and from the corner of my vision, I saw that Krista was doing the same thing. The pain started to fade after several seconds that felt like forever. It was replaced by the strongest sense of deja vu I had ever experienced.

In the space of a minute I relived my entire life until a few weeks ago, shortly after we moved to Desire. Now I remembered a spontaneous trip to New York City that I suggested to Ramona. She agreed because she said she wanted to do some shopping anyway. She, Krista, and I all made the trip together. While we were in New York we passed a photo shoot in Central Park where a model was wearing another one of Viola's dresses. I expressed a desire to buy one and she decided to indulge me.

I remembered Ramona on the phone with some of her business contacts until she found one who was able to contact Viola's people and arrange a private audience with her. She fitted both Krista and I with different dresses and had them shipped to us shortly afterwards. They were in our closet now.

The process must have happened in the same amount of time for Krista because she got up to look in the closet at the same time that I did. It seemed like she must have been gripped with the same nausea too, judging from the way she also clamped a hand over her mouth. She fought it off sooner than I did though and flung open the closet door. I could see from where I leaned against the wall that the dresses from our new memories were side by side in the closet. My black silk dress and her emerald green gown. I flopped back on Krista's bed.

"Wow." I couldn't see her face because I had an arm draped over my eyes, but she sounded awed. I felt that way myself.

"Yeah."

"At least now you know how your power works. And hey, I got a gorgeous dress too!"

"You looked great in it too. I remember." And she did, the green color seemed to make her amber eyes glow and contrasted beautifully with her bronzed skin.

"You look pretty awful." She sounded genuinely concerned.

"I feel ok." I sat up and concentrated fully on not vomiting. "We should ask Ramona if she remembers what we do. The trip and buying the dresses and everything else."

Krista looked dreamy. "And meeting with Viola. She's practically a hermit and she fitted us for her dresses herself. Do you have any idea what an honor that is?"

"I'll say this for my wishes, they don't do things half assed."

We went up to Ramona's room. She'd taken over Mother Georgina's suite on the third floor. She answered the door after our second knock. "What are you girls doing up here?"

I didn't have a planned speech. I struggled to think past the throbbing in my head that had returned while we were hiking up the stairs. I didn't want to say anything specific that would make her wonder if she didn't remember the trip to New York. I also didn't want to arouse suspicion by contradicting that trip if she did remember it. I seized on a minor detail from the new set of memories that was similar to the old ones. "Do you remember the name of the Thai place we ate a few weeks ago? I was just talking about it with Krista and it's on the tip of my tongue. I think it's going to drive me nuts if I don't figure it out soon."

"Really?" She asked me coolly. "We took a fabulous trip to Manhattan and met Viola and you're obsessing over the name of some hole in the wall restaurant? No, I don't bother with such mundane details."

We politely excused ourselves and returned to our room.

"Holy crap, that really happened!" Krista exclaimed.

I crawled under the blankets until only the top of my head peeked out.

"You said you felt better." Her tone was accusing.

"I thought maybe I was getting better, but it got worse again. My head is killing me now. I'm going to try to sleep and pray it gets better before school tomorrow."

She kneeled on the floor beside my bed and rested her forehead against mine for a moment. "I don't think you should do this again. When most people use their Talents it's like second nature. It's as easy as blinking. Your reaction worries me."

I patted her arm reassuringly. "It worries me too. Now go away so I can get some sleep?"

I didn't hear her leave the room. I was already asleep.

I woke up the next morning feeling much better than the night before, but there was still a lingering sensation of being hung over that I couldn't quite shake. I reassured Krista that I would survive and pulled on a comfy pair of baggy khaki carpenter pants and a dark blue long sleeved t shirt. An oversized pair of sunglasses and a pair of messy buns created from my uncombed hair completed the look of aspiring hobo.

On my way out the door I stopped in the kitchen to grab a bagel. Ramona, Marla, Darcy, and my mother were sitting on the bar stools that lined the marble counter. Darcy glared at me, but everyone else ignored me. They were discussing some new construction underway on the other side of town.

"I asked Elizabeth Fletcher about who was building a new house and she wouldn't breathe a word." Ramona complained.

"She's sworn not to take sides. That's why she's put in charge of granting land. If she started telling everyone what everyone else in Desire is doing, she wouldn't be very neutral." My mom said.

"Well, you know what this means." Ramona took a quick sip of tea before she put down her cup.

Marla's sigh interrupted whatever Ramona was about to say. "Mother, I agree with Vanna. It could be anything. Speculating without knowing any facts just makes us seem paranoid."

"I do see why you can afford to be nonchalant about possible threats, but Savannah and I have to be very careful. We've got to remain ever vigilant for ourselves and for Thistle."

Whoa, leave me out of this.
Now both Marla and Darcy were scowling at me.

I tried to scoot out of the kitchen with as much stealth as I could manage without appearing to try to be sneaky. Unfortunately, Ramona decided this would be a fantastic time to educate me on witch politics. "Thistle, do you know what it means when a new house goes up in this town?"

"More neighbors?" I asked.

"Don't be smart." Ramona snapped. "When a new house goes up in town it almost always means that a Second Daughter is planning to ask the permission of the Coven to leave her Family and become Matriarch of her own Family."

"Which is bad?" I kept a tight rein on my sarcasm that time and managed to sound legitimately curious, I thought.

"Of course it's bad. When a Second Daughter leaves her Family all alliances are severed. She's as much an enemy of her old Matriarch and Family as a Family that's been a hated enemy for generations."

"That's a little harsh, don't you think? Krista told me about the whole First Daughter thing and it really sounds like if you aren't next in line to inherent, you get a pretty raw deal."

"Isn't that nice? Thistle is going to come into town and overturn hundreds of years of tradition in just a few weeks." Darcy wasn't making any attempt to disguise her sarcasm. I felt a little bad as I slipped out the door while Ramona lectured Darcy at length about her impertinent tone of voice. But then I decided that maybe she was jealous of all the time I'd had Ramona to myself and some bonding time between them would be good for her.

I made it through the day without anyone attempting to kill me, but some of the girls I now knew to be First Daughters were distinctly cooler to me than before. I was also uncomfortably aware of a new speculative gleam in the eyes of most of the guys. The looks were something I would expect if I had a total makeover and suddenly went to school wearing something more stylish than faded jeans and ratty t shirts. But I knew that in a fundamental way I
had
changed in their eyes. As next in line to inherit the title in my Family I was suddenly the most likely of all the other girls of similar positions to wield actual power. I felt a little ill when I looked at a guy and could see the wheels turning in his mind as he judged his chances of hooking up with me. I always thought that I'd enjoy being popular, but I was finding that it made me feel exactly the opposite of how I thought it would.

I was relieved to get to class and see Ben. He looked up briefly, a smile playing around the corner of his mouth. He went back to his intense study of the world outside of the window without any of the hungry speculation of the other boys. After the morning I had, it was a welcome change.

I thought that after our interlude in the clearing, that things were finally ok with him. I slid into the seat next to him, but he didn’t look away from the window and the ever fascinating landscape. "So... we aren't talking again?"

He didn't even face me when he said, "Nope. I explained to you how things work here. You can afford to be a rule breaker, but I know my place and it's not with people like your friends."

His rejection was starting to piss me off. I didn't appreciate him pretending to care what happened to me one day and ignoring me the next. "At least they talk to me consistently. I won't make the mistake of thinking you give a damn next time."

He finally looked at me, but his warm brown eyes were blank. "I think that would be for the best."

I jerked my bag off the back of my chair and moved toward my usual spot in the front of the class. As I walked several boys patted the empty seats next to them.
Ridiculous.

The only other person who didn't act different around me was Evan. He continued to be a solid friend, although I could tell that he was a little impatient with the way our mutual male friends flirted with me. I couldn't define our relationship. He walked me to class, sat beside me at lunch, and acted almost jealous when other guys paid attention to me. He seemed to be as attracted to me as I was to him, but our relationship was strictly platonic. That fact had frustrated me a few days ago, but I welcomed it now. He offered a safe refuge from the murky intentions of the rest of the world that I found appealing.

To make an already frustrating day even worse, I had another run in with Coach Carter between classes. The look she gave me was openly menacing and disdainful. I fled from her as fast as I could.
Note to self: Don't sign up for volleyball.

I made it through the rest of my classes without further mishap, but any illusions I had about place in Desire were shattered beyond repair. If I was popular it wasn’t because I was funny or charming. My social position was cemented because when my grandmother died, I would inherit her title. I’d never wondered what it was like to be royalty, but now I had a pretty good idea of what it must be like. The old cliché was true. It really is lonely at the top.

I didn’t want to go home right away after classes dismissed. I declined the offers to hang out, surprised at how many people suddenly thought I was the most fascinating person they’d ever met. I waved at my swarm of admirers and headed away from school in a direction that I hoped would allow me to find my path in the woods without having to go too close to the house and risk being seen.

I strolled down an unfamiliar street. Like every other street in town it was lined with rambling houses and massive shade trees. Just another postcard perfect scene in a postcard perfect town. As I neared the tree line that marked the edge of town I passed a little playground.

The modern play structure seemed almost out of place in the middle of houses that were all at least a century old. Of course, the alert observer would notice that most of the houses had satellite dishes perched on the roofs and there wasn’t a single kid at school who didn’t have a cell phone. Tradition might be important in Desire, but they didn’t shun the modern advances that their money could buy either.

I kicked off my flip flops and crossed the jewel green grass barefoot. That there might be stickers in the grass never crossed my mind. For all I knew, there was some landscaping Second Daughter who could will weeds to die. Someone was doing a fabulous of keeping every lawn in town lush and green.

I dumped my shoes and bag on the ground where the grass gave way to the sand that surrounded the swings. I relished the way my feet sunk with each step, becoming half buried. I felt a sudden wistful urge for a child’s shovel and pail. I settled for sitting on a swing in the middle of the row and started pumping my legs. Within a minute I was swinging so high that the chains started to gaina little slack and then tightened again with a bone jarring thump that was both thrilling and nauseating.

I judged I couldn’t get any more lift and after a couple of passes to build up nerve, I leapt off the swing. For a few glorious seconds I flew. All too soon my stomach tightened in anticipation of my landing and the joy was replaced by anxiety. I managed to keep my balance as I made contact with the ground, but the sand abraded the soles of my feet and my heels dug in so deep that I was afraid for a moment that I was going to topple over backwards. In the end, I stuck the landing and threw my hands in the air as if I were a gymnast. My smile was huge and cheesy.

“Didja see what that girl did? That was so cool!” The enthusiastic voice was coming from behind me to my right.

I spun around, snatching my arms down to my sides. I saw a small boy rushing across the grass towards me and behind him a bigger boy closing a gate behind them. It appeared that they lived in the house that abutted the park on that side.

The boy closed the distance in seconds. I didn’t have much experience with little kids, but I guessed that he must be four or five years old. His dark eyes danced with admiration and his grin with all its missing teeth was infectious. “That jump was AWESOME!”

“Simon, let’s leave Thistle alone.” Hearing my name prompted a double take. The older boy was Ben and he didn’t look especially pleased to see me here right now.

“I didn’t know you lived over here.” I said, lamely.

“I’m not sure why you’d know that since I never mentioned it.” He motioned to the boy to follow him to the play structure. “Come on, Simon. I’ll race you down the slide.”

Simon planted his feet, arms crossed over his chest. “No thanks. I want to play with this girl.”

Ben gave me a dirty look. “No way, Si. We don’t need to play with any girls, right? Besides, she’s probably got to leave anyway. Let’s go.”